All Mimsy Were The Boroboves
by Tabby J Skylark
Summary: Gotham collaspes under a deadly mind control virus spread from a new theme park. TONS of characters! Trying to use everyone!
1. Parallel Scenarios and The Park

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES **  
**Chapter One: Parallel Scenarios and The Park**

* * *

Disclaimer:

This Batman belongs to Bob Kane and Warner Brothers. _Alice In Wonderland_ is all Lewis Carol.

A/N:

I'm experimenting with a different writing style this story. It's blunt, nondescript. I dunno. Hopefully the effect works. Hope you like the characters chosen for this. More characters will appear eventually.

BTW, bear with me, please - this story changes pace completely in a few chapters! It's kinda slow until what's happening is revealed...

* * *

_'Twas the brillig, and the slithy toves_  
_Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:_  
_All mimsy were the borogoves,_  
_And the mome raths outgrabe._  
- Jabberwocky, Alice in Wonderland

* * *

"Coffee, Councilman?"

Arthur Reeves gestured her away, skimming through his mail. Meeting minutes, several letters, more minutes, more minutes… ah, yes… the laws that still needed his signature… MAN, Ripenburg's signature was actually there. Ripenburg had actually agreed to Bill 1- Wait a second…

"Carol… what this?"

He was studying a colorful VHS…

* * *

"Just you wait, Walt. You'll see." Alexander Knox backed into his office, shaking his paper at a coworker. "He'll LOVE it."

Tossing his jacket across the room and today's paper on his desk, he dropped carelessly into his chair. Clicking on a little lamp over his paperwork, he shoved asides several stories he was working on to reach his mail. A notorious reporter, Knox had lots of mail lost in mess.

"What have we here?" he whistled, examining a video cassette.

It was for the brand new amusement park…

* * *

"Wonder World?" Commissioner Gordon snorted, busy. "Like I have time for this… pass it on to someone else…"

"But who-" Montoya started, surprised.

Coat half on, he snapped, "Anyone, just not ME!" and was out the door.

* * *

"-oh yes, and another tape, sir…" Alfred handed Bruce another promo.

He didn't even look at it, sighing. He was so tired of being a delegate. Like his review really mattered anyway. He set it in a large pile by an enormous monitor, beside THE ETERNAL YOUTH SPA, without a second thought.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Tim snatched it back. "This is for Wonder World! You're invited to Wonder World, Bruce. How can you just-"

"Wonder World?" his surrogate father rose a skeptical brow.

"Hello? Wonder World…" the boy repeated, annoyed. "It's only Gotham's first MAJOR THEME PARK! Biggest news of the season! We're talking a local Disney World here, Bruce. It's THAT caliber! Where have you-"

"Fine, fine, fine… we'll run the tape…" Bruce interrupted, clicking on the screen.

* * *

"…Congratulations! You've been chosen to represent your contemporaries as a delegate to review the end results of our city's newest, most exciting project: Wonder World-"

"HM…" Mayor Hill didn't remember approving said park.

"…North America's largest, most elaborate amusement park! With 576 roller coasters, 670-" The tape rambled ON and ON… finally: "-Wonder World sets ALL continent records! Tops at everything, this new park took 15 years to complete. Count 'em, folks, 15!"

"That explains it." he muttered, turning up the volume.

"Planned by Gotham's leading minds, Wonder World-"

* * *

"Ya, ya, ya…" Bullock fast forwarded. "He doesn't seriously expect me to do this, does he?"

Before Montoya could answer, her partner showed her his half eaten burger, "This too pink?"

"Pink? It's RED!" she hissed, disgusted. "Harvey, it's poison!"

"Ya, ya, ya… so, this delegate thing - all expenses paid?"

"Well, if you'd watch the tape…" she was irritated.

"Ya, ya, ya…" he was still fast forwarding and eating the burger.

"This letter came with it." she sighed.

* * *

"Dear Summer, greetings from Wonder World…" a beautiful reporter was reading. "You have been chosen to represent visual media as a delegate in our review panel. Congratulations! You're in for a weekend of fun, all expenses paid…"

* * *

"… Sincerely, Vixen Pintell, Wonder World administration…" the mayor's secretary finished, setting the letter down.

"I don't have time for this…" Hill sounded tired. "Send my son."

* * *

"Don't worry! Everything's covered!" the tape bantered on and on, enthusiastic. "Our hotel, rides, meals… anything and everything you could ever want to do. We encourage you to have the time of your life! You have an unlimited tab that WE'LL cover!"

Tim was thrilled. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my-"

* * *

"GOD, I do NOT want to do DO this…" Arthur Reeves held his head, tired and annoyed. He sat on his couch, the room dark, images of an action packed weekend of insanity flashing brightly across the screen, illuminating his unimpressed, extremely exhausted expression.

It was all so… so…

* * *

"Awesome!" Tim sprang from his seat.

"Well, if you're that hyped, Tim - you can take my place."

"Score." the boy pulled in his fist, having hoped this would happen.

"I'll notify park administration." Alfred was blunt.

* * *

"Tell them anything you want! Scurvy… consumption… bubonic PLAGUE!"

"Councilman…" his secretary smiled patiently. "If you really don't want to go, why not get someone else to take your place?"

"I've tried. I can only substitute someone else from the field. From office. Not a soul in city hall will go for me!"

"I'm surprised your fellow councilors-"

"Oh please! Ripenburg and the boys? Don't make me laugh, Carol. They were the first to send me down… screeching in flames…"

She chuckled pleasantly, sorting files. "You're so melodramatic."

"No, I just speak with artistic license. It's all part of the job. And if you must know, if feel very strongly about this-"

She sighed, closing a drawer. "I'll go for you."

"You're not a prominent politician, doll." He said absently.

Prominent? Doll? Get over yourself.

"Alright. Tell them the truth. You don't want to go."

"Tried that… then orders came down from Hill… someone's got to go…"

"I heard he's sending his son." she pointed out quietly.

"Ya, well I'm not mayor… and being the charming bachelor I am, I haven't a kid to shove a suitcase to…" He was satirical here, almost bitter.

"Right, Councilman…" she sighed. "Then you'll just have to go…"

"What about flesh eating disease?"

"Arthur."

"CAROL. I'm NOT going!"

* * *

"How cliché… I'm actually going…" Arthur Reeves muttered into his arms, leaning into the seat ahead, sitting beside Tim Drake (of all people) in the colorful Wonder World bus, the tour having started several hours earlier. His wretched, millionaire play boy rival didn't have to go. NO… he sent his kid too! He actually had to sit beside-

"And on our left…" a speaker was narrating cheerfully.

"Is anyone else reminded of Jurassic Park?" Ally Knox grinned.

"Well, when a Rex flips the bus, you're on your own." Bullock was blunt, eating a messy ice cream sandwich.

"I'm serious, the speaker… the driverless vehicle… the theme park and delegate atmosphere…"

"SHHH!" Summer Gleason, sitting behind him, leaning over the blue seat, gestured for silence, wanting to hear the tour.

"-which we call ALICE DOWN THE HOLE, meant to represent Alice's fall into Wonderland-"

"Reminds me of Disney's Terror Tower. Is nothing original anymore?" Ally, trench coat and fedora, was satirical.

"Everything reminds you of something." Tim noted. "You've been saying stuff like that all-"

"It's like music…" Summer interrupted. "Everything that could ever possibly be done has already been done. I read that. Every song you hear is like… parts of thousands of other songs that already exist…"

"More like hundreds. I wrote that article." Ally was absent, glancing out the windows. He had his observing reporter look and tone - distant, distracted, looking out…

"I hear you're liable for lawsuit if it's over 70% the same as one song, though…" she finished, trailing off as she studied an enormous, colorful tower labeled ALICE DOWN THE HOLE in crazed font.

"-feet, the tallest in North America-"

"Take that Disney." Knox observed quietly, staring up in awe as the shadow passing over his face.

"WOW…" Tim's eyes were so wide. "I'm gonna eat my stomach! Dude!"

"That's one hell of a drop." Bullock admitted, actually looking.

"Say, who was the idiot who thought to invite the mayor's son?" Ally asked after a moment. "I mean, after his terrible experience with Joker at that theme park years back…" He'd written the article. "…I mean, who would BE so insensitive?"

"His father." Reeves was blunt. Inside, however, he was pissed. The mayor had gotten out of his spot. No one was attending for him now. Mayor Hill, Bruce Wayne… his mind muttered on bitterly… borderline petty… He could be such a brat under his cool exterior.

"Ya, poor kid didn't last ten minutes…" Knox sighed, watching attraction after attraction pass by. "Took one look at the colossal midway and the enormous roller coasters and lost his mind…"

"Cried like a baby." Bullock snorted.

"Well…" Summer started, sympathetically. "He's just a kid."

"He was a KID back in the day, when it happened." Tim countered.

"And next, on your right, we have a favourite among the staff…"

"CUTE!" Summer squeaked, opening her window for a better look.

"They stole it from the Disney version." Knox was blunt. "This wasn't in the actual book."

Before them was a water ride with various boats. A bottle, a log with lobsters… just like the Disney take on Alice in Wonderland… the water before the Caucus Race…

"What's with the Wonderland theme?" Bullock opened another sandwich.

"Ya, I thought the park was gonna be… I dunno… Moose World or something… the original plans weren't Wonderland." Tim agreed.

"Actually, it was Fairy Tales, kid…" Knox knew everything.

"Whatever, whatever!" Reeves interrupted unexpectedly, quickly and irritated, finally snapping. "This whole thing is way too school field trip…"

"Ya, this is a lot like a school bus…" Tim was staring at a mascot.

"Is that Humpty Dumpty?" Summer blinked.

"Ya, he was in the book." Ally was indifferent, flipping through his guide without looking up.

"It's too hot in this bus…" Bullock started.

"And now, as we come to our Fairy Tale part of the park, it's important to note, Carol's work featured many nursery rhymes, therefore… a fairy tale, fable, nursery rhyme section seemed appropriate. Besides, it's just plain fun, right?"

"Oh… Lord…" Bullock was frustrated. "It's HOT on this bus…"

"It really is…" Summer agreed, fanning herself. "This is just… too long… This park's HUGE!"

"As we enter Storyland we begin hour five of our tour…" the speaker was still enthusiastic.

"THAT'S IT." Arthur snapped from his seat, starting up the aisle.

"What the hell?" Bullock was annoyed.

Opening the bus door from within, Reeves simply hopped off.

"He can't do that!" Summer was shocked. "Somebody DO something! He can't just do that! He… he…"

Ally shrugged, finally glancing up, "Leave him. He was a killjoy."

"Hey, is that a concession stand? It's just like the book - EAT ME, DRINK ME… Nice…" Bullock was now getting off the bus.

"Wait, no!" Summer watched him go. "You-"

"Why not?" Tim was up now. "I came to experience this stuff, not listen to them yammer on about it for hours and hours on a school bus in the blazing heat."

"What's wrong with you people?" she watched him go.

Knox sighed, "Ah, Summer… this tour is wasting our time… according to these statistics it would take nine full days - that's like 216 hours - to do just the roller coasters alone… We've got two days, two nights. I don't know about you, but I wanna get in as much as I can. I wanna take advantage of our tab. What do ya say?"

He was so logical. Taking his offered hand, they hopped off.

* * *

The bus had been moving extremely slowly… so slowly… that they were all still within sight once Summer and Ally got off. Officer Bullock and Councilman Reeves were at a concession stand at the very far end of the street. Tim was running in and out of the craziest fun house they had ever seen just a few attractions down.

Reluctantly releasing her hand, Ally lead the way down the street towards the others. "What should we try?"

"Well, I would like a drink…" she watched the bus carry on along a track like a streetcar. Yes, it was more like a streetcar…

"It's on me." Ally winked, motioning to the card that represented their tab. Turning back to the deserted street, he noted aloud just that, "Man, this place is dead… I don't even see employees…"

"Everything's run by machines these days, Knox, get with it." Tim landed directly before them, unexpected.

"Want something to drink, kid?" Knox ignored the challenge.

Before Tim could answer, they noticed a mascot pestering Arthur Reeves. It was the Cheasure Cat. Poking him and waving, it appeared to want a hug… or at least a handshake… some acknowledgement?

Watching for several moments - for it was quite comical - the three resumed conversation:

"I wanna try that Tower. Wanna come?" Tim was pumped.

"Alice Down The Hole? You've got to be kidding…" was Summer's take.

"I'll do it." Ally was blunt. "Why not?"

Bullock approached eating a hotdog. He decided to actually attempt some form of socialization, as rude and careless as it was. "Do what?"

"Alice Down The Hole." They answered.

"Ha, no thanks." He turned away. "I just ate."

"You're always eating." Ally pointed out. "You'll never go on ANY rides with that attitude…"

"Maybe rides aren't my thing. Ask Reeves. I'm gonna go check out that wax museum three blocks back… any takers?"

"Only if you do The Hole." Tim sounded agreeable, but really wasn't.

"No chance, kid. I'll catch ya later."

"Reeves!" Tim called to the suit.

Arthur was distracted, going over his reviewer checklist. "Washrooms?" he glanced up at the Lady's Room Sign. "Ah, good, REAL washrooms. Check."

"And just what's wrong with port-a-potties, Councilman?" Tim approached.

"Let's rephrase that: What ISN'T wrong with port-a-potties?"

"_Touché_."

"Who said _En Guarde_?" Reeves went back to his clipboard, blunt.

"It's too hot…" Summer was complaining.

"Reeves-" Tim started.

"My, my… were you never taught to respect your elders?" Arthur smiled as he added to his review.

Tim was first confused, then got it, "Oh. Right. Sorry, **MR.** Reeves..."

Arthur corrected: "Councilman. Mister's too… crappy."

It was funny, but no one wanted to give him the satisfaction.

Noting Tim's expression, he carried on, "Relax. I take pleasure in the fact that Bruce is raising you wrong." With that he left.

Tim was floored, then ticked. "FINE. Screw you, bud. Who wanted to ride with you, anyway?"

"Let's just go, kid…" Ally agreed. "I'm tellin' ya, he's a killjoy…"

* * *

"MAN… it's HOT… shocked you people aren't melting…" Harvey Bullock was talking to wax figures. He glanced around at all the Wonderland figures and wondered what everyone else was doing now. This sucked. What was wrong with the air conditioning anyway? The heat was insane!

* * *

Detoured, Tim Drake, Ally Knox and Summer Gleason were enjoying the crazy water ride they'd passed earlier. It was so extremely hot now. Just unbearable!

Laughing so hard his stomach ached, Tim was riding amongst the pretend lobsters on a log. Ally was with the Dodo on an upside bird, while Summer struggled to keep her bottle upright. Tea cups, chests and other silly makeshift boats bobbed about them.

Round and round they whirled… laughing and laughing…

Though Summer noted a burn starting in, none of them actually realized how truly hot it was actually getting…

* * *

Arthur Reeves, hair unkempt and sweaty, had tossed his jacket over the back of his chair and put on shades. LORD, it was so HOT!

He sat on a pub patio sipping ice water with the actress hired to play The Duchess. While the character in the book was supposedly hideous, this girl was quite pretty. Unfortunately, he was a sweaty mess and had grown tired of trying to break through her implacable accent.

He could hear the others screaming and laughing… splashing… They'd probably get sun stroke running around like idiots...

MAN, it was outrageously hot.

"Are you enjoying the park?" The actress asked him politely.

"People have DIED in cooler conditions." Arthur gave a very flat answer from behind his dark sunglasses.

She started talking... and he didn't even pretend to listen... He looked so damn unimpressed right now, especially with the shades...

"How hot it is?" he eventually interrupted her bluntly, clearly indifferent.

She froze mid-word, surprised. Finally, she responded, "Hot? Sir, it's barely warm, whatever do you mean?"

Her accent was frustratingly thick, but she sounded confused, probably disagreeing.

"What? We're both sweating-"

"I don't know what you mean…" She was dismissive as she rose and walked away.

That would have been odd, had Reeves not been so used to pissing people off...

* * *

Laughing, Tim flopped off a cup and into the water. The water splashed and splashed… it was so overwhelmingly hot… and the water continued to worsen… to rage… to the point of danger…

It was so hot… so… hot…

The sun and violent waves were overwhelming… too much… He struggled to swim… but started to fail… Dazed, he tried in vain to keep his head up…

Screaming out for Ally, his mouth filled with water and he went down again… He struggled up and was almost immediately slammed down… he was cooking and drowning… his lungs filling with water…

* * *

So… hot…

Bullock stumbled through the streets, overcome by the heat… the world was blurring… it was SO hot… his eyes were burning… his flesh was literally burning… what the… hell…

He dropped to his knees, smothered… drifting away…

* * *

Reeves, only a few feet away from either victim, failed to notice, sipping a second water. It was important to keep hydrated, after all.

OK, this wasn't the equator, damn it. It was literally like being baked in an oven. He might actually faint. What the HELL?

This was Gotham City... someone could easily be trying to kill them right now... Perhaps he should DO something...?

Or he could crack a third water and hope for the best. He wasn't exactly the heroic type, after all.

_I'm just being paranoid. It's just really hot today._

And then he looked over at the Mad Tea Party poster on the wall.

No, no. He wasn't being paranoid. If the Mad Hatter wasn't behind this park, he'd certainly be either attracted to it or offended by it...

And that's when Arthur realized all the shouting and laughter had stopped. He wasn't hearing the voices of the other delegates anymore.

Where had they all gone so suddenly?

Looking down the street he noticed the actress playing The Duchess had collasped from the heat. She was sprawled out in the street.

UH OH.

_"Take off your hat!" the King said to the Hatter. _  
_"It's not mine..." said the Hatter._  
_"Stolen!" exclaimed the King._  
- Lewis Carol, Alice In Wonderland


	2. Fire and Water

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter Two: Fire and Water**

* * *

_Disclaimer: Batman, Alice in Wonderland and Alice Through The Looking Glass aren't mine. I don't have permission to use them, but I'm not making any money in the process, so hey._

_A/N: I absolutely HATE finding typos in a previously posted chapter! Sorry! Though my sister and I edit several times it seems impossible to get them all. Sorry!_

* * *

A cool, comforting breeze swept over a forest floor, ruffling the careless green grass. Finally, some relief from the murderous summer sun. MAN, that had been intense…

Bullock felt these things, sensed these conditions, before he actually opened his eyes. Groggy, he rubbed face. His mouth was particularly sleepy - he must have been out for a while. Blah.

"Huh?"

It finally dawned on the officer. He was sitting on the edge of a beautifully temperate forest. What was happening? He definitely wasn't dreaming. Nor was he imagining the scene, of this he was certain. This was real. Quite real. What he hell was going on?

* * *

Tim, soaked to the marrow, moaned as he woke. It took him a sleepy second to realize he was absolutely freezing. He'd been boiling alive, the water steaming… and now he was shivering, dripping cold. What-

UH. He was on a beach. He was at the seaside!

Teeth chattering, the sound of a seagull startled him. Sitting up, the boy glanced about, confused beyond all bounds-

"TIM!"

Blinking, Drake was relieved to recognize Ally Knox. Ally was also soaked, his beige trousers rolled up, emphasizing his bare feet. Jacket lost, his white shirt was now untucked and unkempt - unbuttoned a bit too. He looked as though he'd been up and about for ages, carefree.

"Tim, hey... there you are!" He didn't sound relieved, overjoyed or anything extreme. No, Ally sounded almost indifferent - as though he'd simply expected the boy to turn up eventually. A crab or large shell would have been an equally interesting discoveries.

"Ya, I didn't drown." Tim stated the obvious, confused by Ally's appearance, reaction and moreover, their LOCATION.

Silence.

"Where are we?" Tim was blunt. Why wasn't Ally explaining?

A little surprised, Knox glanced about and then took on a casually pensive expression. He seemed to be batting ideas about, actually considering. Trying to remember. He obviously hadn't even THOUGHT about their situation. This was too weird. What was wrong with him? What the hell was going on?

Knox answered, smiling with a chuckle. "You know… it's the strangest thing…"

Trailing off he suddenly snapped back to reality, "Um, what was the question?"

"KNOX - where are we?" Tim stood up, serious.

"Huh? Oh?" Another surprised expression followed by the sweepingly broad and pensive look around again...

AH! This was absolutely maddening. What was wrong with him?

"Hm…" Ally smiled again, vague. "That's just the thing… I…" He hesitated. "I can't seem to remember…"

Did that mean he didn't know… or he had known and now couldn't recall? What-

"Wanna dig for shells?" Ally asked presently, stepping into the tide.

Tim watched, saying nothing.

Ally was a complex blend of seriousness and fun as he unearthed pretty shells… oblivious to their outrageous situation…

"Where's Summer?" Tim finally broke their silence.

Ally almost chuckled, "You mean WHEN is summer…"

"No. Summer Gleeson. The tv reporter."

"Who?" Ally spoke absently as he searched the sands.

Tim frowned, "A Caucasian woman, late twenties... recently dyed her hair blonde... You know, _Gotham Insider_...?"

No response. The guy kept digging.

Frustrated: "The girl you've been smitten with all trip!"

"Smitten…" Ally glanced up, skeptical. "No, I think I would remember being SMITTEN, kid."

Tim's frustrated glare was unchanging.

Ally returned to his shells. "Sorry. Don't recall."

"ALLY." Tim was pissed.

No response. Not even to his own name.

"ALLY!"

Suddenly, temper turned to terror as Drake realized Knox wasn't ignoring him - he honestly didn't respond to his own name. He didn't recognize it, remember it!

"Alexander!" the boy snapped, panicked. Eyes afraid.

Silence.

Tim smacked him hard. "KNOX!"

Rubbing his upper arm, "What's your problem?"

"Who are you?" Tim tested his theory.

Ally laughed. "What a stupid question… I…" He trailed off, obviously realizing he didn't know the answer. "…um…"

"Who are you?" Tim repeated.

Chuckling uneasily, Knox looked pensive again, "Hm, it's the strangest thing…"

"You don't know, do you? You don't even KNOW!"

"Um, wait - what was the question?"

Tim startled him by literally screeching in frustration.

* * *

Ally Knox had a personality most difficult to describe. He was a visionary, a dreamer. He was spirited, enthusiastic, melodramatic, quipping - yet cynical, grounded and highly intelligent in every way that mattered. So many thought him an imbecile - yet so few really knew him. He was somehow loveable… with an amazing imagination - he could be so cheerful and amusing at times. He had such happy ups where he was filled with smiles and love… yet also such hard, pessimistic downs where he was alone and unkempt in his messy office after midnight - working his ass off and not wanting to go home to his rat hole. Then… there were moments when he was simply filled with an energy, a zest, that was honestly beautiful. Admittedly, he was tactless, annoying and overbearing often - the guys at the office had many laughs at his expense. His lifestyle was… a little less than stable… but HEY, he was the living legend of the press conference. An honest to goodness American Media Legend. Celebrities and officials attempted to avoid him, but never could - he made them miserable. Annoyed and intimidated, they were constantly startled by him popping up with questions about a crime, etc. Ally Knox was everywhere. The police car pulls away and there he stands behind it to startle you, tape recorder extended for your comment. Everyone loved and hated Knox. He was one heck of a character.

He'd loved life to a point of uncanny beauty. Unique and quirky, he'd been a dreamer and he'd worked very hard towards his goals...

But it was all forgotten in an instant. Lost forever.

* * *

Summer was running, terrified. The forest was dark and dangerous and the crow's shadow just kept falling over her - she had to get out! She had to get out NOW!

A branch slashed her cheek and she cried out in pain, though didn't dare stop. The crow was gaining. It never crossed her mind to consider who she was or where she was… No, she just had to escape the enormous raven-like shadow that just kept slipping over her - a terrible caw echoing through the wicked woods.

Coming to a clearing, a gap in the canopy where light actually managed to grace the forest floor… Summer stopped, panting. The danger had temporarily passed. Sitting on a large rock that conveniently resided center spotlight, the young anchorwoman continued to wheeze and worry.

* * *

Harvey Bullock would have preferred to sit in the cool grass beneath the shady trees, but no, he had to figure out where he was. Where were the others? Was this part of the amusement park?

Trying to backtrack through the early events of the afternoon… Hm… the figures of wax… hotdog, drink and ice cream sandwiches…

He remembered the obnoxious tour bus. It chattered on and on as it rolled away from them all, empty…

Where was he? Was he caught in another crook's trap? This was supposed to finally be a vacation from all that stress and violence...

Why couldn't he EVER catch a break?

* * *

"My tale is very long and very sad…" the mouse was speaking with a very hard, serious expression, staring off with almost military focus.

Ally Knox was staring at the creature's literal tail. "I'll say. Wow. It's twisted and there's a knot-"

"How dare you interrupt!" the rodent was very offended.

"I'm sorry." Ally sounded dreamy still. Out of it.

"No, you're not and if you dare to interrupt again I shall not speak a moment more!" Only slightly smaller than Tim Drake, the gray mouse was very haughty and easily offended. In fact, he was offended by absolutely everything it seemed. He constantly threatened to leave them and frankly, a very bored, confused Tim wished he would.

The mouse, offended, had demanded the rock. There he sat slightly above the pair who sat upon the sand, casually listening to his arrogant blather. Ally, one leg extended, the other bent carelessly at the knee, supporting himself one an elbow… and Tim, cross-legged with his head in his hand, wore a negative expression upon his young face as he willed himself not to doodle in the sand. The mouse grew most offended when he-

"Young man, you expression offends me! I refuse to contin-"

Finally frustrated, "Who are you, anyway? What are you doing here and when did you even come along?" Tim was rude.

The mouse gasped, shocked and angry. His mouth kept opening and closing. He always looked so ticked off. Man.

Ally's lazy, carelessly spaced out expression suddenly turned to Tim, confused. He stared at the boy a moment before finally: "We've always talked to Mouse, Tim."

Drake blinked, "What? … Ally…"

Knox smiled, "Did you hear Mouse? My name is Ally!"

The mouse snorted impatiently, "As I was saying, gentlemen, in 1861 the Portuguese sailed to Christopher Columbus. He was stationed in Alaska at the time and was doing quite well in the pretzel trade, I understand. A protégé of Saint Peter, Columbus had yet to find the Orient, but he did speak fluent French. NOW, William the Conquerer and the Duke of Buckingham both-"

"I'm SICK of this!" Tim snapped, interrupting.

"How DARE you! I can't possibly continue."

"DON'T continue! I haven't taken history since mainstream elementary and even I know your full of it! None of that stuff is true. Columbus was like… 1492… and Alaska didn't even exist as Alaska then! NONE of the people or places you speak of every existed within the same t-"

"Insolent child, you dare to imply I would be incorrect, ignorant or the most heinous of accusations - LYING! It's absolutely unheard of, young man! It's just not DONE!"

"You're living proof all the above IS done!" Tim was blunt. He wasn't putting up with this crap. He was a lippy street kid and talking mice were a freaking JOKE to him.

"HOW… DARE… YOU…" the mouse stood on his rock, outraged. If Tim wanted a war-

"My name's Ally." Knox said quietly.

Silence. Mouse suddenly calmed down and took his seat. Though Tim snorted the rodent continued, not missing a beat. "Now, as I was saying, William the Conquerer and the Queen of Spain, whom I understand to have been a most talented tap dancer, were on excellent terms with the Caesars of Rome and the Czars of Russia. In fact, truth be told-"

"You haven't told a single TRUTH!" Tim interrupted again.

"ACK!" the mouse appeared to choke on the insult. Uh oh.

Ally frowned. "Tim, please stop. I really WANT to learn of Romans and Russians…"

Tim sighed: "Well, Alex, my friend - you've come to the wrong place then! You won't learn a THING from this guy! It's all-"

He suddenly remembered, "Wait a minute! Ally, where IS this place? Where the hell are we? How can we possibly be talking to a mouse my size? Or any mouse ANY SIZE? I-"

Ally rose an eyebrow, "Um, Tim - you've been acting very, very strangely the past while. What's wrong with you? We've always sat here talking to Mouse. He teaches us things. Educates us of the world…"

"It helps one to dry." Mouse confirmed solemnly.

"DRY?" Tim was absolutely lost. "ALLY! You're telling me you can't remember anything before this conversation with this giant mouse?"

Ally blinked, "There was… hm… wow…" Hesitation. "You know, you're right… there MUST have been something before…"

Tim suddenly paled. "What was it, though? I can't really remember myself!" Then suddenly, thankfully, the answer returned - "Gotham. Gotham City, Ally. Do you remember-"

"What?" Ally laughed. "That's a silly word." He chuckled further, slapping his knee. "What a silly word, Tim. There's no such word. _City. _Ha! Now, _Gotham_ - that's a vegetable, am I right?"

If Timothy Drake had been an average child he would have been absolutely terrified at this juncture. The adult was GONE.

But Tim was brave. He frowned, "ALLY, you're a reporter. You write for-"

The Mouse snorted. "We've been here since the dawn of time. Since John Cabot sailed to Timbuktu for Lunar-"

"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" Tim snapped, covering his ears. "Just STOP IT!"

"HOW… DARE… YOU…" the mouse rose in fury all over again.

* * *

Arthur Reeves sipped his ice water, his jacket tossed casually over the back of his chair, dark shades over his eyes, his hair soaked with sweat and a total mess...

There was something very, very important… that he needed to tell… someone… But what and who? It was on the tip of his mind… but a cloud seemed to cover everything and exhaust him from all thought.

It strained him to even remember who he was or where he was…

Arthur… some park of some sort…

Does something follow _Arthur_? Something sounds as though it should go after Arthur. A second name or something. Two names? NO. That was just ridiculous. Two names. Hmph. People didn't have TWO names.

His mind weighed heavily on him and he wanted to sleep. It was so warm. So hazy… so…

He was a stubborn, serious person... but in the end he fell asleep too, as human as anyone else...

* * *

"Come on, Harvey, hold on, bud - REMEMBER - you're 36, you're from Jersey… you're a police officer… your birthday's July 2nd… you have a sister, Julie, and a dog… um… a dog… Rusty? Sparky? RUSTY. You have a little Jack Russell Terrier called Rusty. He's four. He came with the name. You hated it… but it grew on ya. Just sounds right now. You've got an crappy little apartment in the Narrows and… and you read the paper this morning. The front page had three kids on it. Two girls and a boy. They were… doing something… ER! You had a coffee with your partner… Mon… Montoya… before you got on a bus with a bunch of idiots and listened to a speaker for five hours. You ordered a hotdog and went to a wax museum. You… you love sunsets and hate sunrises. The only colour you really like is brown... um...You love the sound of rain. You only have one good suit... You've only actually liked three books ever. Your favourite sure as hell wasn't _Alice In Wonderland_. You used to see your family at Christmas and Thanksgiving. But not at all recently. You haven't been inside a church in ten years. You haven't had a DATE in ten years…"

He kept on strong for fifteen minutes…

"Harvey. Harvey. Harvey." He reminded himself desperately.

Unfortunately, he grew sleepy. Very sleepy. He tried to fight it, like a child at a sleepover - trying to talk on to his friend though his eyelids were so very heavy… He fought a good fight, no mistake. He drifted in and out and kept struggling to retake his mind…

Unfortunately, he would never break through again. He knew this now. He'd lost too much ground. He would never see the theme park again…

And eventually, he found himself wondering - "Why am I saying Harvey? What's a _Harvey_?"

* * *

Summer clapped gleefully, smile so large and eyes so tightly shut. "Wonderful!" She was overjoyed. "Just wonderful!"

"Would you like to hear another?" the first man asked merrily.

"Oh YES! Yes, please!" her eye lids tightened, so happy.

"The Walrus and the Carpenter!" the second lad cheered.

"No, no, no - we always do that one! Old Father William! I want to do Old Father William!"

"We've done that one three times today!"

"Well, she never gets tired of it and I don't know that many songs!"

"COME ON! Walrus and Carpenter! We can do the puppet show!"

The first seemed to think for a moment, one eye closed. "OH ALRIGHT. Just one time though. It's too long."

"Old Father William's twice as long and we've done it thrice…" The second fellow muttered under his breath as he set the puppet house up. He turned to Summer, "You'll love this one! Trust me!"

* * *

"When did we start running?" Tim panted, confused.

"Woo hoo! Run, run, run!" Ally passed him, singing cheerfully as he raced around the large rock, hopping waves as they came. There were at least a dozen animals running with them.

"Ally, no... don't get caught up in this weirdness..." Tim slowed down, wanting to stop. "We've got to get out of here!"

Ally wasn't listening. He was loving this.

"Ally!" Tim shouted, trying to stop. But the animals behind him pushed him forward. And the waves were determined to knock him off his feet. AH! They were like an outrageous crosswind!

"Wait, stop..." Tim tried to resist the animals behind him. They were mindless and singing.

He could see the Mouse sitting far off on a rock...

AH! Extreme wave. Almost pulled out to sea. Scary!

"MOUSE! What's happening?" Tim called out, dodging waves and animals. Trying to keep his footing.

The mouse, as always stone faced, spoke staring straight ahead, "An excellent way to dry. Not nearly as effective as I good history lesson, mind you..."

And then another wave knocked Tim down and crushed him. When he reappeared he looked up and saw a large bird perched on the center rock...

"Ello!" The bird lifted his shades, smiling. He had an Aussie accent and was dressed in a fetching Hawaiian shirt - two shades of blue in a watermark in pattern. "Enjoying the race?"

Tim couldn't answer. He was hacking up water.

Though pleasant, the bird was really different looking. He had such a weird beak.

"Help... please…" Tim coughed wetly.

"Buck up there, pal…" The bird smiled. "You're falling behind! Get back on your feet!"

"But-" Drake swallowed more water.

"Come on, kiddo, nothing dries a fellow faster than a little exercise. As the founder, I call it a _Caucus Race_."

"Pull me up..." Tim struggled to grab the center rock and climb out of the waves.

"You're doing it all wrong, bud!" The dodo shoved him back into the tide carelessly.

Wave. Smack. Buried. Scraped along the bottom... Ouch...

Panting, coughing... Tim heard Ally singing and cheering... He felt a sticky starfish on his face...

"Wait…" Tim tried to grab for the rock again.

"You'll never get dry like that, Tim!" Ally teased lapping him again. "You've gotta run fast and jump high in this game. The idea is to stay on your feet!"

"This is STUPID!" Tim snapped, furious and now bleeding.

"You're right." The bird frowned, pulling the starfish painfully off the boy's face. "Starfish aren't in style this summer. Try crayfish."

"NO-"

Wave. OUCH. This hurt like hell and was so frustrating. He couldn't finish a sentence!

Hitting air again, he choked: "This RACE is stupid! How can anyone ever dry if the waves keep-"

Wave, right on cue. OUCH.

Tim choked again, "How can anyone ever WIN? How do you DRY?"

Wave. Pain. Frustration.

"Please, help me onto the rock… I'm bleeding!" Tim struggled, trying to pull himself up. His bleeding was heavier now.

"Woah, kid, you've hurt yourself." The dodo blinked, almost caring a little.

"Yes, please stop the race!"

"Sorry. Can't. It's like I always say: _Since there's no beginning there can never be an end_."

"WHAT? I'm getting trampled and drowned! I can't get up!"

Enormous wave. Tim lost hold of the rock again and felt himself being dragged on the bottom out to sea. Clutching ankles, he pulled a pelican down with him. Several stumbled and went down.

The dodo bird was mortified. "A caucus race pile up! Why, such a thing hasn't happened in over half a century!"

Break in the waves. Tim hacked violently, "You've been racing _forever_?"

"Well, we have to dry somehow…" The pelican struggled to his feet. "Anything's better than mouse's tall tales."

"Mouse!" Tim remembered. "Where's mouse? I want-"

Mouse appeared far away on a rock, babbling to himself. "And in 1592 the very last of the man-eating camels crossed the Canadian desert...

"Nevermind. Let's race." Tim looked frightened.

* * *

Arthur woke slowly, taking a moment to gather his muddled thoughts. His bed was warm and comfortable. Trying to recall a peculiar dream, he started to sit up, rubbing his dark eyes.

Hm, his room seemed strangely **pink** this morning…

Tossing the sheets aside, Reeves stumbled out of bed, realizing he wasn't in his pajamas. Nope. He was wearing a sweaty suit. Turning to the mirror he realized his hair was all over the place.

This was some woman's room obviously. Who'd he spent the night with? And why was he so gross and still dressed?

_Ugh. Where am I? I need a shower... _

He started down the stairs, expecting some awkward encounter with a strange woman. _Classy, Artie..._

Why was this stairwell so small? Narrow with a low roof. And why were the steps so close together? Who designed this death trap?

**AH!** Water! Lots of water rushing up the stairs suddenly.

Icy water greeted him, halfway up the stairs and rising. The entire downstairs was flooded.

Backtracking in horror, something caught Reeves' eye. An enormous foot in the hall beside him!

Panicked further, he was back in his bedroom, slamming the door.

"This is a dream, this is a dream..." He chanted quickly, grabbing his head. The walls cracked.

He could hear commotion outside. Rushing to his bedroom window, Arthur saw the lawn was flooding.

And then it occurred to him - this enormous creature had destroyed his plumbing! The house was coming apart.

A terrified little animal was racing around the lawn, shouting into all the windows. What was he saying?

A smartly dressed bird was casually meandering down the lane. A blue watermark shirt and shades. His bright white feathers made it work. Hm.

Smiling pleasantly, the fellow greeted the little animal (a rabbit, it seemed) casually, but was stopped.

"Dodo, dodo, PLEASE! You have to help me!"

"Woah. Easy, buddy..." The dodo smirked. "What's wrong?"

"LOOK!" The rabbit practically shrieked.

Arthur followed the little white paw. OH… MY…

Two arms and one leg had broken from the home. The other was curled up still within. The creature was absolutely enormous. A MONSTER!

"There's a monster in my house!" Rabbit was petrified.

Arthur opened the window and stuck his head out, "HEY! I'm trapped up here!"

Startled, the two animals didn't immediately answer.

"Another monster!" Rabbit cowered behind Dodo.

The bird, raising his dark shades from his eyes and resting them on his forehead, spoke - "Ello, mate! There seems to be a slight misunderstanding here, I guess. This little cottage belongs to my buddy here. You and whoever else occupies it at the moment would find it in your best interest to move on."

"Firstly, I never intended to trespass!" Arthur called down. "I don't understand why I woke up here."

Why hadn't he woken up at home? What had he been doing last night? What-

The park. UH OH.

Arthur froze, realizing he was in big trouble...

"And secondly?" The dodo was raising his eyebrow mockingly.

Arthur said nothing, reality hitting him like bricks. A talking dodo... a talking rabbit...

"Um, what's happening to me?" The Councilman forced a slight chuckle into his tone as he blinked back emotion - sounding wet, uneasy. He couldn't hide that he was confused and growing frightened.

The two animals exchanged uneasy expressions. OY.

Dodo cleared his throat, "Look, no need to tweak out up there, kay? We'll straighten all this out yet. I'm Dodo and this fella's Rabbit. Who might you be?"

Arthur froze again. Unable to remember.

"He's a monster!" the Rabbit was furious. "Get out of my house, you brute! Out now! Right now!"

"Calm down, Rabs…" Dodo sighed, trying to be patient.

"Reeves!" The politician remembered abruptly. "I'm Reeves!"

"OK, Reece - why are you up there?"

Arthur had no answers. "UH... I don't know why I'm here. I shouldn't be."

"So you admit it's not your home?" Rabbit was animated.

"Yes. I thought it was at first. I mean, I woke up here…"

"An understandable mistake." Dodo shrugged, pulling out a smoke.

"What about the other monster?" the rabbit demanded.

Arthur remembered the enormous creature and was alarmed. Filled with an uncharacteristic panic that removed all dignity instantly - "Oh crap! Get me down! Get me down!"

He was halfway out the window.

"Easy there, pally." Dodo motioned for him to remain in the room. "No sense breaking your-"

"BILL!" the rabbit squealed, motioning to a lizard swaggering along the lane with a wooden ladder.

"A ladder, excellent!" Dodo smiled. "Eh, BILL! Can we borrow your ladder, bud?"

And within a minute Arthur had scrambled down the ladder to the grass below.

"Ah, Reece. Good of ya to come down. Smoke?"

"Um..." Arthur started to correct the name but was interrupted by an alarmed scream from Bill, who literally jumped into Dodo's arms.

"Oh yes, THAT." Dodo casually remembered the monster.

Arthur stood beside a colossal black shoe and felt his breath leave him and his complexion pale. WOAH.

"So, any idea who the monster is?" Dodo asked him casually.

"How can you be so nonchalant?" Rabbit hissed with hot impatience.

Arthur ignored the hare and answered calmly, "No. I'm as shocked, confused and scared as all of you."

Dodo set Bill down, "Good answer - straight to the point."

Then he smirked, "Well, we'll just have to attempt communication. It's worked so well already..."

Without missing a beat Dodo shouted up, "HELLO THERE! Good afternoon, sir or madam!"

No answer.

"Ello? Who are you? What are you doing in there?"

No answer.

"Well, that settles it - Bill, up the ladder, bud…"

"WHAT?" the lizard choked on the word, horrified.

"Our new friend is obviously hard of hearing. We-"

Bill was gone instantly, racing away down the lane.

"Well, he was sport enough to leave his ladder." Dodo commented with a quiet optimism. He then turned to Arthur, "Well, Reece - it falls to you."

"ME?" Arthur snapped. "But-"

"You've been in and out once without harm. I-"

"Why don't YOU go in?" Reeves was losing his cool.

"Fine." Dodo stomped out his smoke and scaled the ladder.

After a second Dodo poked his head out the window, calling down casually, "Eh, Rabs... it's Mary Ann again. She's been into the treats. No worries, though, I'll have her back to normal in a second - and then we'll ring for a plumber and carpenter. Oy, mate - expensive to keep this one, eh?"

_Mary Ann?_ Arthur turned to the rabbit who answered, reading his mind, "My maid. A very dim girl, really."

* * *

Summer woke to find a strange creature resting on her foot. OW, she was incredibly cramped. The pretty blonde, aching, realized she was crammed into a very small space. She was in a room… or perhaps several rooms… that were WAY too small…

What on God's green earth was happening?

"Ello, Mary Ann... Been in the treats again, eh, cutey?…"

Confused, "Mary Ann?" Her voice echoed lightly through the rooms.

"Oh!" Dodo was taken by surprise. "You aren't Mary Ann. Just kinda look like her. Sorry."

Summer blinked and truly comprehended a creature working his way up her leg. It tickled in a negative, scary way.

She absolutely SHRIEKED.

* * *

Dodo was instantly blasted through the first floor wall. Dragged across the lawn in agony, he rose instantly and casually brushed himself off as though he'd merely stumbled.

"Not Mary Ann." He approached them simply.

"Obviously!" the rabbit nearly howled. "What now?"

"Well, there's just nothing for it. We'll just have to burn the house down." Dodo was indifferent.

Reeves laughed incredulously. "Wait, you can't be seri-"

"Match, please." The dodo slipped down his shades, all business now.

The rabbit shrieked like he was dying. It was so intense...

And yet the dodo ignored it and nonchalantly muttered, "Oh. Right. Nevermind." And pulled out his smoking lighter.

And then he casually broke a lawn chair over his knee and tossed it at the base of the house.

"Dodo, no! NO!" The rabbit sobbed hysterically.

"They'll be other houses, mate." The dodo broke another chair.

And then he started the fire...

"But…" Arthur watched it burn. "This plan doesn't make any sense. The idea of getting the creature out is so he can have his house back - burning the house defeats that purpose altogether."

* * *

Harvey Bullock, a wanderer with no identity, had followed the sounds of combat to a sunny clearing.

Here he found two knights battling. A lion and a unicorn.

His eyes wide, he settled on the grass to watch them duel… He never questioned them being talking animals...

* * *

The flames were creeping up the side of the wall…

"I… I don't think she CAN get out. She's stuck…" Arthur's tone was wet and hoarse. He could smell burning hair now.

* * *

Summer Gleason was laughing merrily, clapping his hands. "Wonderful!" she encouraged. "Absolutely wonderful!"

"… of cabbages and kings…" the pair were reciting.

"Wonderful!" she was overjoyed. "Won-"

She stopped. They stopped.

"Something wrong?" the first man was before her instantly.

"Is it the crow?" the second was panicked.

Holding her hair, Summer's expression was blank. She seemed far away and somehow distantly in trouble.

* * *

The giant girl was too big to leave the house. She was trapped and burning.

"She'll burn alive in there!" Arthur was freaking.

The entire cottage was ablaze.

* * *

**A/N: I know this is slow right now, but it's going to take off and there are going to be dozens of characters. I promise. Thanks for your patience. **


	3. Escapes Ending Badly

**Chapter Three: Escapes Ending Badly **

**Disclaimer: I do not pretend to own anything from **_**Batman: The Animated Series**_**, **_**Batman: Mask of the Phantasm**_** or **_**Alice in Wonderland**_**. No profit is being made. **

**Note: Once we get outta the park the story will pick up, I promise... **

**Also, I'm using the Bullock from the original BTAS. I don't like how they draw him in newer stuff. **

**

* * *

**

The flames flew quickly up the wall of the cottage, devouring the ivy and then dancing across the little thatched roof. The rabbit was bawling loudly with a handkerchief.

Arthur was freaking. "She CAN'T get out! She's going to burn alive in there!"

He could hear a young woman coughing. Smoke inhalation would get her first. Only the outside of the house was really burning at the moment… What could he do?

And then the licks of fire made their way through the window he'd left wide open. And he heard screams of alarm and-

That's when the awful smell of burning hair started. And the screaming really picked up. She was getting burned now for sure.

And this was enough to snap the councilman into involuntary action. Panic sparked some instinctive reflex and he acted without thought or hesitation. He was just so alarmed to have someone dying in front of him.

Running across the lawn, he turned on the garden hose and began to spray in the window.

"Knock down the walls! Stand up and smash through the roof!" He shouted loudly at her.

* * *

"OW!" Summer cried, standing up abruptly. It was as though she'd been stung by a wasp.

The first fellow grew sulky. "This is no good a'tall! She's not even paying attention!"

Summer seemed to see the twins for the very first time. Whatever had hurt her had snapped her back to herself. At least for the moment. Pain has a funny way of bringing people to their senses.

"Tweedledum and Tweedledee…" She rubbed her sore face, frowning. She recognized the two annoying loons immediately from illustrations and films.

But how has she ended up here with them? What was going on?

This didn't seem like a theme park anymore. And they didn't seem like actors.

She remembered Ally Knox and Tim Drake… She'd blacked out! It had gotten dangerously hot and she'd slipped away. Now she was awake with…

She suddenly looked pale and sick. "…Hatter?" She called out with uncertainty.

* * *

The blonde girl cried out – "OW!" – and abruptly stood up, breaking through the house.

Arthur lowered the hose and realized he recognized her from somewhere. He knew her in a way that he didn't know these strange animal characters.

"Weren't you a red head once?" He asked, furrowing his brow.

* * *

Bullock had continued on through the forest until he came to a cobblestone road. He absently began following the road through a very green landscape and eventually saw a pond with a pretty cottage on the far side. It was covered in ivy and beautiful flowered vines. The pond was full of flowered lily pads. It was extremely picturesque.

He didn't think much of it. He clearly wasn't thinking much of anything. He had just watched a talking lion and unicorn in combat without batting an eye. He was just aimlessly going through the motions at the moment…

It had become rather warm and humid and he had long broken into an uncomfortable sweat as he wandered along. His jacket was hanging over his shoulder. His hat was lost somewhere back in the forest and he ran a hand absently through his wet, spiking hair.

He fully intended to pass by the cottage. To just keep walking aimlessly.

His mind was as hazy as the day. He wasn't bothering to question things. To consider them. He had yet to realize he didn't know who he was or where he was going. He was just going. He had no objectives in mind. He wasn't really trying to GO anywhere or DO anything.

But as he passed the cottage he heard screaming and crying. And then a loud smash with tons of shattering glass.

He stopped and stared blankly in that direction.

More crying. More smashing. Clearly domestic violence was underway.

The cop in him wanted to go knock on the door. It sounded serious.

While it was hot and his mind was in a lazy, aimless blur, somewhere in his subconscious a shadow of his former self remained and he could not let this pass.

He started moving again, towards the pond. He noticed a pretty little stone path by the pond and then a pretty little bridge covered with more flowery vines. He crossed this bridge and continued along the stones to a side door. He knocked and waited for an answer.

The screaming and crying was very loud now. It was a small child. He could hear pots and pans smashing and clanging. He could hear glass and china breaking.

No one was answering the door. The screaming and crying continued.

This was ridiculous. A little kid was in there. In that violence.

Still no one answered!

"That's it." – He kicked the door in swiftly.

He dodged a large skillet and pressed onward. Only to walk right into a giant frog.

The frog was taken aback by his presense. It was dressed like an eighteenth century attendant. It wore a wig of white curls and blinked at him with huge, shiny eyes.

"What the hell is this? _Wind in the Willows_?" Bullock sounded angry. As usual.

"I beg your pardon, sir?"

"What's with the racket? Where's the little kid?"

And then unexpectedly a giant fish was standing in the broken doorway behind them.

The frog, ignoring Bullock, approached the fish. The fish was clearly also an attendant. They had similar costumes and wigs. "For the duchess. An invitation from the queen to play croquet."

Bullock was temporarily distracted by these animals. The fish was SO ugly. And how could it survive out of water like that? He suddenly found himself questioning things…

And then a loud crack distracted him, diverted his attention from actually considering the strangeness of his situation… It was all very dream-like.

He could hear the screeching and crying again. And sneezing and coughing now too. The child was hacking and crying deeper within the cottage.

A pan came hurtling through the air from an inner room. He pressed onward, through this inner doorway. A large piece of china smashed against the wall right by his ear. Shards hit the side of his face before he could shield himself.

He realized he was in some sort of kitchen with a fireplace and a table and…

… This was clearly the duchess. She was dressed like royalty. She had an icy expression on her face as she held a little boy on her lap. Behind them a cook was busily tending to a large stew over the fire.

The child was very young. Nearly a baby. He had little blonde curls and he had obviously been crying for ages. So long that his face was discoloured and his throat was hoarse. He was trembling and miserable. Moreover, the woman holding him wasn't doing so with any sort of care or affection. He was like an object. She was cold and unfeeling. She was ignoring him. Not tending to his suffering at all.

The air was full of pepper. Bullock smelled it immediately. It was actually started to bother his eyes and nose now. No wonder the little one was hacking and sneezing. What the hell was going on here? The kid probably couldn't breath. Probably needed air!

This didn't look like a domestic dispute in progress.

Strangely, no one greeted him. No one spoke to him or really acknowledged his presense.

He cleared his throat to confront them about the smashed china on the floor, when he heard some pleasant chuckling. And some humming. Looking at the mantle he noticed a very large cat with an enormous grin on its face.

"Ummm…" Bullock did NOT like the look of that cat. The grin was huge and ominous.

"May I help you?" The duchess spoke coldly.

"… That cat it smiling at me…" The detective was totally distracted.

"Chesire cats always smile." She gave him a very rude glare, as though he were absolutely incompetent for making such a statement.

"Chesire cat? I've never seen one. It's huge…" He cleared his throat, uncomfortable. "I… I didn't know cats could smirk like that. Very human expression."

"You don't seem to know much of anything." She spoke with a cold unkindness.

Bullock swallowed his pride and focused on the child. It was still screeching and bawling loudly. It looked like it had been through hell and back.

"PIG!" the duchess barked unexpectedly. The word came out almost involuntarily with a frightening ferociousness to it.

Bullock was taken aback. Then his face darkened. "Excuse me?"

"Did you break down my door and barge into my home to inquire randomly about cats?" She was treating him like a total imbecile. It was degrading. Royalty or not, this women was a real freaking bitc-

"NO. I broke down your door coz this kid is screeching bloody murder and someone here is smashing stuff and sending pots and pans flying! I-"

"PIG!" she barked again.

"Look, lady!" His temper was steadily rising. "Your kid is suffering. Comfort him. Take care of him. Coz so help me God, if you're hurting him-"

The cook threw a large plate unexpectedly. He was aiming for the duchess and child. He missed and the plate broke on the ground, shards bouncing up at Bullock and hurting.

Another plate followed instantly. It struck the duchess' shoulder and shards hit the child all over. He continued to shriek and cry and cough.

Another plate was suddenly in the air and again shards struck the wincing child.

If anything hit him in the head – why, he'd probably die!

"That's it." Bullock snapped, clearly going to physically intervene.

"If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a deal faster than it does." The duchess spoke dangerously.

Bullock put his hands down and leaned over the table darkly. "Are you threatening me?"

A large pot struck the duchess in the back. And then a saucer flew over his shoulder and smashed on the wall.

Lastly, a rolling pin headed straight for the child's head. Bullock barely had enough time to fling out his arm to partially deflect it. It ended up grazing the boy's head, bumping his nose as it passed. The child continued to screech, now touching his hurt nose.

"Ok. That's just IT." Bullock snatched up the little boy. Holy Hell! That had been close.

"Chop off his head." The duchess ordered icily.

"Screw you." Bullock walked out of the house with the little boy without looking back.

He half expected royal guards to come appear and arrest him. She was a duchess after all. And she had seemed really evil and dangerous. This could NOT be over.

He could still hear glass shattering and pots smashing. He kept walking.

"Thank God we got you outta there." He muttered quietly. "She's a monster."

Surely such an evil and dangerous woman wasn't the baby's true mother. How had he survived all these months with her? How scarred was he from the experience?

As the cottage disappeared behind them, the detective looked into the face of the wretched little child. He was still crying heavily, his face purple. He was soaked with sweat and tears. He had obviously been crying for a very long time. He was still shaking all over.

Bullock pulled the little one closer and rubbed his back and touched his head. His curls were so soft. He was so tiny.

"It's ok, buddy. You're safe now. It's ok."

Bullock continued to rub the poor little thing as they walked further and further down the main road.

Poor little thing. He HAD to take it with him. They would surely have killed the baby before long. It couldn't have survived much longer like that.

Bullock envisioned the shards of glass striking the little face. And the rolling pin. How many items had hit the kid? How many? And how long before something cracked him across the skull and killed him? It was just awful. The little fellow was lucky to be alive at all. One solid blow to his little body and… ugh… It was sickening.

The little one wasn't really crying anymore. It was coughing a touch and sniffling. Comforting him was working. This was a good sign. He needed comfort.

"There ya go, buddy. See. You're ok. You're ok." Surprisingly, the gruff man had a nice, soft voice for children.

As they walked along, he felt the little one's hand on his ear. The tot was still sniffling, but had calmed down now. Feeling those tiny fingers on his skin made the detective smile. How sweet… a tiny one, not even old enough to speak, was touching his ear.

His heart was warmed and he found himself thinking about parenting. He wasn't the father type. He could barely take care of himself. He was a total slob… and kind of a jerk… His disaster of an apartment was a microcosm for his entire life. Just one big disaster. Montoya, however, she'd make a great mom. And the Commission was a great dad. Even Batman would be a better parent. And THAT was saying something, considering he was a mental case running around in a Bat costume. Oy-yoy-yoy…

His thoughts returned to Montoya, who was taking care of his dog at the moment. Oh ya – he'd gotten a dog! How'd he forgotten that? Hmm…

As the detective picked up speed on the path, the little guy held onto his neck to feel more secure. He snuggled in deeper.

Bullock, comforted by the contact, continued to analyze his life and his character, without realizing he was actually doing it. He failed to realize he was tapping into his identity again. He was actually remembering things…

Right on cue, a colossal distraction occurred.

Looking into the baby's face, he realized something was very wrong.

Its eyes were too dark. He couldn't really see the whites of the little eyes anymore.

Bullock stopped walking completely. Oh my God. What the hell? It looked so scary!

The baby coughed and sniffled and clutched Harvey's shirt. Something was happening.

"Buddy, what's wrong?"

And then it snorted. And it clutched at him. And it snorted again.

"Buddy-"

A snout was forming.

Bullock nearly dropped the child. He was so extremely shocked. A snout was growing out of the baby's little face!

The snorting continued and the baby could not stop the sound from coming out. It was either painful or frightening, because the little guy began to cry again.

Snorting and crying, the transformation continued slowly…

Heart pounding, Bullock began bouncing the baby a little bit and trying to comfort it. At the same time he was trying to comfort HIMSELF. This was very upsetting. Very scary. What was he supposed to do? How could he save the little guy?

"Easy there, buddy. It's ok. You're ok." He was lying. He knew he was lying.

When the hooves began to form, he really began to panic.

He continued to bounce the baby nervously. Rocking it. Hugging it close.

The baby was clearly in pain. Its spine was changing. It was really crying now.

Gradually the crying sounded less and less human.

Tears were still on the little piggy face as it continued to transform. As it continued to sound less and less human… The sound it was making was SO terrible…

Bullock could do absolutely nothing for the little guy. He just continued to bounce him, trying to sound comforting. "…It's ok… It's ok…" He kept lying. It was absolutely NOT ok. Not at all.

His eyes grew wet as he watched himself slowly losing the baby…

* * *

Arthur blinked and found himself in a rowboat, drifting calmly along…

He turned and realized that he was still with the dodo. The bird was yammering on pleasantly about something as it rowed. He couldn't hear just yet though… the words were muffled and far away…

He looked at his reflection in the clear water beside him.

"I look like crap!" he realized. His hair was disheveled and wet. He failed to realize casual could be good.

"No. You look human for a change. A great improvement."

Fixated on his own reflection, Reeves ignored the bird. He ran his hand through his hair. "Damn. I left my comb in my jacket…" he realized quietly to himself.

"You are extremely vain." The bird sighed nonchalantly.

"Oh, come on! I look like a train wreck."

"Oh, you're a train wreck alright. But looks have nothing to do with that."

"What?" Arthur shot him a proud, angry look.

An old sheep with spectacles stared back at him. Knitting a long patch of stockinette stitch...

Alarmed, the councilman jumped in his seat, rocking the boat about.

"Something wrong?" the dodo raised an eyebrow. He was back in his place.

"A sheep…" Arthur started to be truthful and then realized it sounded insane. "Nevermind. I'm just out of sorts today."

"Take a turn at rowing, will ya?" The dodo passed him the oars.

The sun was bright now and the bird pulled his shades down over his eyes. The councilman did likewise and began to row. He'd rowed in school. The early mornings on the water had been kind of nice once he got some hot coffee into his blood-

"Eh, watch the crabs!" the dodo interrupted his memory.

"Oh!" Arthur realized a cute little orange-red crab was clinging to his oar.

"I caught a crab." Arthur smirked. The rowing pun was not lost on him.

And then his smirk froze and faded. "Um, I was just remembering something. I almost remembered… um… well…"

He tried to bring the memory back. ANY memory back. He was having trouble remembering who he was. He searched for it… searching for it… Arthur. Arthur Reeves. And he… wore a suit generally… and… um… what else? OH! He used to row. Yes, he rowed in school. Right. Now follow the memory chain… what else? Link memory to memory and-

"Eh! The crabs!"

And there was another cute crab. Frustrated suddenly, Arthur shook it away.

He'd lost the memory again. He'd lost his name again.

"I was just remembering! Please stop interrupting like that." It was almost as if the interruptions were deliberate. Every time he was on verge of remembering something important – something about himself – there was an interruption. Either a giant foot frightening him, or a house fire, or crabs hindering his oar.

It was getting frustrating. He wanted a moment just to THINK. To place himself. And nobody was allowing it.

"Ah! Here we are. Pull up here, bud."

"Can I just have some time to myself?" Arthur was awkward.

"Nonsense! Follow me. We need to dry off. And you really MUST see this!"

* * *

Tim Drake had been running for hours. Easily. Though he was in great physical shape, he was starting to get really tired now. He wanted to stop and rest. But that meant listening to mouse ramble on and on nonsensically… He couldn't seem to escape. He felt trapped.

This place was awful and he sensed there was something more important he should be doing. He had no idea WHAT, but still… hm…

Ally was going strong. He was laughing and having a blast. He loved the endless race. He would do it forever and ever if intervention didn't come.

Tim frowned. What came before this race? Before this beach? Obviously SOMETHING. They hadn't been born on a beach. Born. Was that the word? Were people born? _Born_...

"Ally-" he started, but a wave nearly knocked him off his feet again. He had to stay up.

"You're slowing down, Timmy!" Knox lapped him again.

"I wanna stop…" Tim choked on some sea water. He sounded miserable.

"Why?" Knox disappeared around the other side of the rock.

"I dunno. I just wanna stop…"

* * *

Bullock sat on the grass. His face was still a little red and damp. But if anyone asked – it was hay fever. He wasn't a crier, after all. No freaking way.

He was watching a piglet sniffing around in the grass nearby.

He'd carried the piglet for a long time, not sure what to do next. Not wanting to give up on the baby it had been. Feeling attached. Feeling that he couldn't abandon it. That he couldn't give up and leave it to that awful fate.

Unfortunately, the baby was lost. It was over.

Eventually he'd had to face facts and set the pig down. He couldn't justify carrying it around anymore like a real child. It was WEIRD. The baby was gone.

He wasn't sure what to do now, though. The baby had given him a sense of purpose. It had reminded him of things. He'd had something to do.

His mind drifted into a painful memory:

_Adrenaline was still hammering through his body as he approached the young mother. She ran forward, a fresh batch of tears beginning._

_The dark haired toddler was in his arms, clinging to him. Oblivious of how close to death it had come. Oblivious of the horrific situation they'd just barely escaped._

_Bullock was wounded. Blood was all over his face and in his hair. But he would be fine. _

_The young mom saw his state and her face was pained. "Oh no, you shouldn't have! You nearly died."_

_He was taken aback by this. What the hell?_

"_But… But I saved him…" _

_She looked as though she were in agony. "His life expectancy is five. Nobody can save him."_

The piglet's little snout rooted through the grass. The sniff was audible and very cute.

Bullock just sat on the grass, watching it wander and letting the haze retake him. It was hot and humid and he was getting tired. He was still sweaty and his hair was a wet mess.

Getting the baby out of there had been important. Well… at least… he'd thought it was important…

Well… he couldn't have really cared for the little one properly anyway… Could he? Would it have been alright? He kept telling himself he wouldn't have been up to the task. That it wouldn't have worked out. But really… he'd rather have had the chance than not. He wished he'd had the chance. He'd have made things work out. He'd have done whatever it took to care for the kid…

Remembering those warm little hands was painful. He shook his head.

He was wearing his jacket again, despite the heat. He wasn't sure why.

The piglet continued to sniff about the grass. Before long Bullock could not remember why he was sitting there staring at it.

* * *

Arthur attempted to pass the deep voiced and very stern mouse without a word. No such luck. The mouse was quick to anger and take offense. He also loved to talk AT people with a serious, commanding voice. He reminded Arthur of an old school British military officer. That old stereotype in literary works.

"My tale is very long…"

"And I don't have time for it. I was just passing by." Reeves was blunt, still walking.

"Sir, your attitude offends me!"

"Easy there, Colonel Mustard."

"How dare you!"

Arthur rolled his eyes and walked away without looking back. Talking animals? Pssh. Over it.

* * *

Tim recognized the man in the ruffled suit, but couldn't stop with the animals behind him.

"Hey! You there!" he shouted, realizing Arthur was passing him by.

The councilman turned and raised his shades to get a better look. "Oh! You."

"Ya. Me." Tim panted and then disappeared around the other side of the rock.

He emerged around the bend again and asked – "Who am I again?"

"Some kid. I dunno." Reeves was indifferent.

"And who are you?"

Arthur opened his mouth, but no words left it. He froze and realized he'd forgotten again. A very pensive look formed across his face as Tim did a few more laps. Then it dawned upon him. "Oh! Arthur! I'm-"

"That's it, bud! Jump right in!" The dodo slammed Arthur into the race.

"No, no, no…" Arthur dug his heels in and tried to stop. "NO!"

His pride would not allow him to run around in circles with talking animals. No way.

The animals pushed him forward though and round the bend he went.

"Relax, pal, it's FUN!" Ally lapped the councilman, springing with enthusiasm.

"Oh GOD…" Arthur recognized Knox as well. "I suspect I never liked you."

"That's the way! Faster! Faster!" The dodo called merrily.

"No – flipping – way." Arthur spoke firmly, turning around and pushing back. Animals began to lose their footing. Another pileup began, worse than before.

"Eh!" The dodo didn't like this. "What's the meaning of this?"

"I refuse to participate!" Arthur scowled importantly.

"You'll never dry with that attitude." The dodo argued.

"Maybe I don't want to dry then!"

"SHHH! You'll have plenty of time to talk after you're dry."

"We'll never dry." Tim Drake was panting. "The waves keep soaking us. It's just BS. This is all a trick. I want to stop!"

The animals resumed the race and Arthur was knocked to the sand. Tim jumped over him, avoiding a collision with great agility. He was running because he knew how much it hurt to get trampled by feet or smashed by waves. It was important to keep on your toes in this race.

Arthur was being trampled. The undertow dragged him on the bottom and he was pressed hard against rocks. It was quite painful. And now that he was down, he couldn't really get up. There were feet everywhere and paws and claws were stepping on him. Worst of all waves kept coming.

"It's hard to regain your feet once you go down." Tim yanked him up with surprising strength. He pushed the councilman before him, pausing just long enough to create a gap without falling himself. "My name's Tim and the happy guy is Ally. Who are you?"

Arthur stumbled, but found his feet and began to run smoothly. When he hit his stride, he called over his shoulder: "Arthur."

"You're really familiar. We probably knew you before this race."

"When did you get here?" Ally lapped them both with great energy.

"Um, I dunno. I just wandered in from the left over there. I dunno."

"The Left, eh? Never been there." Ally disappeared around the bend.

"It's not a place-" Arthur was hit by water.

"What's over there?" Tim asked eagerly. "We've gotta get outta here!"

"I don't remember. I think I was in a boat. There was a cottage. It was burning. Some girl was dying. She was a GIANT. Like 30-40 feet!"

"What? That's crazy!"

"Says the kid running in circles eternally with talking animals." Arthur muttered.

"You're slowing down, boys!" Ally passed them again, almost knocking Drake over.

"ALLY!" Tim was just too frustrated.

"I really hate this guy." Arthur sighed. "Is he on hard drugs or what?"

"Less talk, more run!" The dodo called merrily.

Arthur checked himself, "Wait a minute! I'm actually running. I said-"

A wave hit him hard. And he'd had enough.

"Ok. It's over. No more. Screw this." Arthur was blunt, turning around and pushing all the animals back again, knocking creatures down.

"WOAH!" The dodo hopped down off the rocks.

"You wanna brawl, buddy? Coz I've got nothing to lose!" Tim sprang at him unexpectedly. "I'm done with this!"

"Guys! What the hell? You're ruining it!" Ally unexpectedly grabbed Tim.

"Whose side are you on?" Arthur hissed, losing ground to the animals. As angry as he was, he wasn't exactly an athlete. His feet were slipping in the sand and he was being pushed back slowly…

"Boys, boys…" The dodo seemed flustered.

Tim pushed Ally backwards into the mass of animals, sending everyone to the ground. He was instantly back on his feet, charging into a giant lobster, giving a battle cry.

"Holy crap!" Arthur watched Tim in shock. That kid was TOUGH.

"Boys, hey, come on-" The dodo continued.

"NO!" Arthur snapped, rolling out of the pile. "We're not doing this anymore! It's embarassing!"

In the background, Tim was roaring around, knocking down animals.

"STOP." The dodo attempted to block them.

Drake knocked him down. "It's over! Gonna do something about it? Coz we're willing to fight our way out! We've got nothing to lose in trying!"

"Let's go." Arthur ripped Ally Knox to his feet. "We're leaving. Now."

* * *

"In 1500, Roberval attacked the Duke..."

"Wait..." Tim stood up in alarm. "No... No... NOOOOOO!"

"Constant interruptions!" the mouse snapped.

"Constant fallacies." Arthur sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Sir, your comment offends me!" The mouse stood up on his rock.

"Ya, ya…" Arthur was absently watching the dodo orchestrating the nearby race.

And then an idea struck him. A strange idea, but it might actually work. He decided anything was worth a try. "Actually, Mouse… Could you please tell us some local history? Perhaps the origins of the caucus race? Or the birth of the dodo?"

"Very well." The mouse stiffened proudly. "The dodo was born many years ago in a wheelbarrow of pickles."

"I was not!" the bird approached them indignantly.

The mouse naturally became offended and a bickering match ensued.

Arthur and Tim took this chance to usher Ally away from both characters, finally escaping their control and that mentally draining scene.

* * *

"That was great!" Tim nudged Arthur. "That stupid mouse was guaranteed to say the wrong thing! I should have thought of turning them against each other long ago… It's so tough to escape this place, eh?"

As they entered a clearing, Ally was still carefree and full of energy. He rushed ahead and began climbing a tree. It felt nice to be in a forest. They had been amongst sand and surf too long. This was refreshing.

Arthur and Tim, somewhat lucid, began to compare notes and to work out their situation as quickly as possible before they were interrupted and distracted again. They could hear Ally start to sing to himself. He was having a good time, clearly.

"I think there were more of us." Tim furrowed his brow, trying to remember. "I know coz there was a girl or something. I'm sure there was a girl once."

"Well, that giant woman was familiar." Arthur was also concentrating really hard.

"Nothing makes sense here, does it?"

"It is all so hazy. I must be dreaming." Arthur, hand on the back of his neck, looked up into the canopy.

"No way. This would have to be MY dream." Tim frowned. "Coz I'm real."

Arthur scowled. "Well, I'm definitely real. If this was YOUR dream… what would that make me?"

"I dunno." Tim was suddenly becoming nervous. He didn't like the idea of being a character in someone else's dream. If they woke up, he would die. Or so he figured.

"Dead, I guess." Arthur absently came to the same conclusion.

"Well, we can't BOTH we real." Tim now sounded nervous. "One of us must be dead."

"Maybe we're all meeting in a dream." Ally called down cheerfully. "It might be possible. We might all be dreamers."

"Well, you're definitely not alive." Arthur scowled. "You're flat. 2D as hell."

Tim paled: "Or maybe NONE of us are the dreamer. I mean, we don't remember our lives. We MUST be dead."

There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Well…" Tim frowned. "Let's try to wake each other up."

"If somebody wakes, somebody could die..." Arthur didn't like this at all. "I think-"

Suddenly Ally took a misstep and started to fall backwards. He caught a branch and cried out in alarm. Tim, instinctively, sprang up the tree trunk and grabbed the newsman, steadying him. Ally, panicked, threw his arm back and knocked Tim out of the tree.

The boy landed on his back, smacking his head loudly on the hard ground.

Arthur cringed visibly.

"OUCH!" Tim sat up, rubbing the back of his head. "That hurt! What the hell, Ally?"

Tim stood up abruptly. "Oh my God. Ally Knox is an infamous journalist! He's really pushy and annoying and in everybody's faces to get the scoop. He harasses you all the time at city hall. You're a city councilman. Arthur Reeves. You're always so serious and you're always taking shots at Bruce."

City Hall. Bruce.

"Oh ya!" Arthur was remembering everything now. "You're Bruce's brat. And Ally always gives me bad press."

"And we were on a tour bus together. With Summer and Bullock. Touring a new amusement park that happened to be about Wonderland."

"And now the Mad Hatter has clearly trapped us in some sort of-"

"What are you guys talking about?" Ally interrupted from above, scratching his head.

"None of this is triggering any memories?" Tim was concerned. "You don't remember your life before the beach? How you used to write articles for the paper?"

Ally jumped down from the tree. "I don't know what you mean. Sorry."

Tim and Arthur exchanged an uneasy expression.

"Maybe he's permanently like this." Tim gulped. "He lost his memory before I did. Maybe this is a process and he's further along. He seems to have fully embraced this place and what's happening to him. Maybe… I dunno… What do you think?"

"I have no idea!" Arthur snapped. "How should I know?"

Tim suddenly paled. "Um… what the hell…"

"What?" Arthur looked around and realized the vegetation had completely changed.

"Grass!" Ally was thrilled. He rushed forward into the enormous blades of grass and began bouncing in and out of the clearing. He was enjoying himself far too much and Tim was watching him nervously.

Arthur lifted his shades as he looked up, up, up to the opening in the grass above. To the distant sky. The buzzing of insects was suddenly very loud. It hadn't been before.

"We're tiny." Tim stated the obvious.

"No, really?" Arthur sighed with sarcastic impatience.

"We didn't eat or drink anything, though. No magic mushroom."

Ally piped up unexpectedly. "Very few mushrooms cause Luigi to shrink. Hmm… Those tiny blue ones… and oh, the poisonous mushrooms in those brutal Lost Levels make you shrink or die…"

Tim's jaw dropped.

Tim felt so relieved suddenly. "That's right, Ally. Remember how Mario used to eat red flowers? Or become a raccoon? Or… or… that statue thingy?"

"Statue thingy?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"OH, as if you don't know what I'm talking about!" Tim huffed. "As if you never played! But no, you're too cool for life. You'd never play a game. You're one of these people who can't let their guard down. Who can't relax. Who has to PRETEND they-"

"Video games-" Arthur started defensively, but then realized this was NOT the time. And he said so. "You know what? This is not the time. We need to focus on survival here!"

Ally wasn't hearing them. He was fixated on his memory. "Mushrooms generally cause the Brothers to grow. And those giant mushrooms make them giant! But in Mario Kart mushrooms make you go faster… hm…"

Tim squeezed Arthur's arm, smiling at Ally. "He's remembering."

"He's remembering Brooklyn plumbers from a video game."

"They've had Italian accents for years now, dude. And that's not important. What's important is that Ally is remembering anything AT ALL."

"I guess. But it seems more like random neurons firing off. Like he's losing brain function. Dreaming. Or dying. I dunno. It makes me sad, frankly. I'm less hopeful than ever."

Tim felt a pang in his stomach. A blend of sadness and fear.

"We've got to get out of here!" He sounded nervous again. "What do we do?"

"How could I possibly know?" Arthur gave another impatient sigh. "I mean, seriously, kid. This is my first time down the rabbit hole, ok?"

Tim flailed his limbs. "Oh, come on! You must have an opinion! What now?"

Arthur sighed. "There's no precedent for unexpectedly waking up in a work of children's literature."

"You said yourself – the Mad Hatter is behind this! Is this stuff around us real? Are we under his spell? Like, what the hell? Should we follow the plot to its conclusion and have a show down with the guy? Or should we be trying to wake ourselves up?"

"Well, we're not going to participate in the plot. The characters exist to trap us and to wipe our minds. And I seriously doubt there's an EXIT marked anywhere. Or a way to wake ourselves up as though this were just a natural dream." Arthur sounded indifferent. He was now polishing his sunglasses with a hint of vanity.

Tim scowled. "Then what should we do?"

"I propose we avoid anything and everything and focus on keeping our memories. If we resist long enough, the police will rescue us. Or, worse case scenario, the Hatter will present himself and we'll have this so called 'showdown'…"

"Ok. And how will we defeat him?"

"Maybe you can charge him with an animal roar. That's worked so well in the past." Arthur smirked.

Tim knew it wasn't a compliment. He snarled, "I didn't see you fighting!"

"Either way, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. He'll show eventually. There's got to be a reason he's captured us…"

"Maybe he just wants to kill us, hm? Maybe he doesn't have to show himself. Maybe we're just going to eventually die."

"He captured half a dozen people to kill randomly?" Arthur was skeptical. "And besides, people will notice when we don't come back! The police will come to the park…"

"It will probably be all over by then." Tim sighed impatiently.

"You're SO negative, kid."

"You don't get super villains, do you?"

* * *

They wandered through the grass for what seemed ages in the hot humidity. Tim kept comparing their experience to the movie _Honey, I Shrunk The Kids_… Arthur – too cool to admit ever having seen the film – kept dismissing these comments or changing the subject.

Ally continued to explore on the edge of their vision. He was as chipper as ever.

"This really sucks!" Tim crawled over a twig that was like a giant log now.

Arthur was barely listening. He was uneasy about all the loud buzzing. All the sounds of nature. He was expecting something terrible to happen. To run into a giant bug.

Suddenly they heard a particularly loud buzzing off to their right.

He froze. His shades were hopefully concealing that he was scared. He managed to keep it out of his voice. "I don't want to see that bug."

Tim whistled uneasily. "I'll say."

They started moving again.

Arthur felt the ground tremble. Something was coming. And it had to be bigger than they were to shake the ground even a little.

"I hope it's not a bird…" Arthur definitely sounded nervous now.

"Oh God!" Tim made a face. "I forgot about predators."

"I didn't." Arthur cleared his throat, trying to sound confident and in control.

"Everything eats bugs!" Ally shouted over to them.

Tim and Arthur froze in uncomfortable silence.

"Ally. Stop yelling. You'll get us killed." Arthur managed to get the words out calmly.

"What's wrong?" Ally continued to shout loudly.

The trembling in the earth started again. Something was coming!

"Oh boy…" Tim braced himself in a fighter's stance.

And sure enough, through the top of the grass they could now see a giant puppy.

Arthur wanted to speak. To warn Tim to stay perfectly still and silent. Unfortunately, talking would defeat the purpose.

It didn't matter; the puppy began sniffing in the grass. It would only be a matter of time before it found them or crushed them inadvertently.

"Alice saw a giant puppy in the book!" Ally called loudly, catching the dog's attention.

"RUN!" Tim shouted and he and Arthur began sprinting through the grass. Dodging obstacles, jumping over twigs. "There, there!" Tim motioned to a hole.

They fell into the hole just in time. The puppy's nose sniffed the hole, but was too large to enter.

"Back, back!" Arthur grabbed Tim. "The tongue's next!"

Arthur was right. The tongue immediately entered the hole.

The pair pushed as far back into the wall as they could, trying to resist the tongue. It managed to touch them somewhat, but could not crush them or pull them out. They heard whining and scratching and then the tongue returned. This went on for some time…

Finally, the trembling lessened and stopped and there was silence.

"Thank God. That was close." Tim let out a very loud sigh of relief. "I don't think I'm a dog person anymore. That was really messed up, eh?"

Arthur wasn't up for friendly chatter. "Is it safe to climb out?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should wait a while."

"We're lucky no bugs are in here." Arthur frowned uneasily.

"You really don't like bugs, eh?" Tim smirked.

"And you like giant, disgusting, dangerous bugs? They are just as likely to kill us."

Tim was annoyed. So he smirked: "Nice hair, Artie."

The dog had licked them and now Arthur's hair was really screwed up.

Arthur's smile faltered so clearly.

Tim chuckled inwardly. He'd won a small victory there. He'd have to remember to play that kinda card more often. It worked.

Unexpectedly, Ally burst into the opening of the hole: "GUYS!"

"ACK!" They were both very startled, clinging to one another.

"Oh, that's so cute!" Ally smiled. "You're bonding! Life or death situations have that effect on people."

Arthur and Tim looked at one another, realizing they were locked in an embrace. Immediately they sprang out of the hole.

"It was just crowded in there." Tim cleared his throat.

Arthur smirked, "Aww, too old for hugs, kid?"

"No. You just suck." Tim muttered.

"What, are you five?" Arthur spat back, getting irritated.

"Boys, boys, boys…" Ally grabbed them both in a huge glomp of a hug.

"Let go!" Arthur hissed, trying to pry himself from Ally's grip.

"Ally…" Tim wheezed. "Not… comfortable…"

"Try – VERY ANNOYING." Arthur tried to slide out under Ally's arm and failed.

Tim started to laugh, but this only hurt his sides more. "Haha… ow, ow… haha…"

"This is awesome, guys!" Ally cooed warmly. "Just awesome."

That's when Arthur bit him. Hard.

"OW!" Ally jumped back, letting them go. He looked tearful for a second.

"Reeves!" Tim was shocked. "You jerk!"

"Just trying to help him regain his memory." Arthur muttered. "Pain is super effective, after all."

"Ally, do you remember anything?" Tim was hopeful.

"He drew blood." Ally wasn't listening. He would rather whine and suck his arm.

"Look at that." Arthur smiled sarcastically. "Still doesn't remember. I'll have to hurt him again."

"Let's just go." Tim sighed. "If we stay in one spot too long something's sure to come for us. There's always a distraction or a danger. I really hate this place."

"I hated it back when it was a harmless amusement park." Arthur muttered.

"Ya, well, you hate everything." Tim muttered back.

"Most things." Arthur was truthful, running a hand through his messed up hair.

"I wish we could find our way into shorter grass." Tim sighed. "We'd have some sense of where we are. We'd know which direction to head."

"We don't want to head towards anything, remember? And that would just remove our cover. We'd be sitting ducks!"

Tim let out a loud sigh of annoyance. "You always have to be right, don't you? You're an expert on everything, aren't you?"

"You wanted my opinions. And I am the only sane adult present."

"You? Sane? I'll be the judge of th-"

Tim froze. Parting the grass, a large clearing stretched out before them. In the distance there was a wall of grass. On the other side, smoke was rising. Coloured smoke.

"What?" Arthur asked from behind.

"It's the caterpillar. He's up ahead."

"OK. Detour." Arthur grabbed Tim. He was clearly changing their course.

"Something smells delicious!" Ally was bringing up the rear. "What's that smell?"

"NOTHING." Arthur tried to grab Ally as well, but the other dodged.

"Look!" Ally pointed into the clearing. "Awesome!"

And with that he was off like a shot towards the smoke. Towards the trap.

"ALLY!" Tim shrieked. "NO!"

* * *

**Note: Sorry for typos... The story will shift entirely soon...**


	4. Cat in the Grass

**Chapter Four: Cat in the Grass**

**Disclaimer: I do not pretend to own anything from **_**Batman: The Animated Series**_**, **_**Batman: Mask of the Phantasm**_** or **_**Alice in Wonderland**_**. No profit is being made. **

**A/N: Last chapter before the shift... **

Ally took off like a shot into the clearing towards the hookah smoke that was rising over the grass. He had a wicked head start!

"ALLY! NO!" Tim panicked, springing forward to stop him.

"NO!" Arthur yanked the boy back unexpectedly. "You'll get sucked in!"

"We've got to save-"

"Forget Knox! He's too far gone!"

"What the HELL?" Tim ripped himself free with surprising strength.

"It's suicide-"

"We can't just leave Ally!"

"We've already lost him to this place. We've got to save ourselves."

Tim's expression darkened. "You really are a sleazy, selfish jerk. People weren't kidding. You haven't a heroic bone in your freaking body."

For a fraction of an instant, Arthur was hurt. Then his pride kicked in and he was offended. "I saved a girl from a burning building today, thank you! I'm not a monster! I just know when to cut and run. We can't save him, kid. We – can't – save – him. You are committing suicide if you follow him into another trap."

"If you hadn't held me up, he wouldn't be in that trap!"

"MAYBE. Or maybe getting even a few feet closer would be too much. That smell is pretty freaking intoxicating from right here! We need to get the hell away from it!"

Tim's face only darkened further. "I need to get the hell away from YOU. I wish Ally was the one lucid with me. He's a good person. He doesn't deserve this."

With that, he turned and ran off to try to save Knox.

Arthur watched him go for a moment. Shocked. The implications of Tim Drake's statement were very clear. He disliked Arthur so much he wished that HE was the one lost to the Wonderland spell. He wished he could trade Knox for Reeves. He felt Knox was a better human being and deserved to live, whereas Reeves deserved to die. Ouch.

"I was trying to save you!" Arthur called after the boy. "Suit yourself!"

* * *

Normally, Bullock would have been sunburned by now. But he hadn't thought of it, so it wasn't happening…

The piglet had wandered further and further off and was now harder to see. He didn't bother to strain to make it out. He could barely remember why it mattered.

And then something caught his eye. Far away, on the other side of the clearing, a young woman burst from the forest at high speed. She raced across the green space.

He recognized her from somewhere.

Standing up, he shouted: "Hey!"

She was too far away and clearly distracted.

He started after her, but he wasn't a sprinter… and she had an enormous lead. So he stopped and put his hands together. He intertwined his fingers, so that he was sort of making a fist and yet fingers and thumbs were protruding at random angles as well. And then he put his lips to his hands and blew through it all. The whistle was loud and piercing. Like a loon call. It easily cleared a mile.

The girl came to a dead stop. She was like an animal caught in headlights. She just stared at him anxiously.

"Hey!" he jogged towards her. "Hold on!"

Fortunately, she stayed on the spot. She didn't take her eyes off him as he approached. The closer he got, the more apparent it was she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She looked extremely anxious. She had been crying.

"Who are you?" she demanded when he was close enough to see her shaking. She was still breathing heavily. She reminded him a cornered wild animal.

"Easy." He tried to sound reassuring. "I'm a cop."

He was? Where did that come from? He wasn't entirely sure.

She didn't speak. She was still trembling, whether she realized it or not. Her eyes were intense.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" he tried again.

He knew he knew for a FACT he knew her. But from where? She was certainly pretty. They stood there a moment while he wrestled with it. Tried for any kind of memory.

She watched him apprehensively, panting. He had such a pensive look on his face.

Nothing came to him. Memories had to be triggered, he supposed. Something would hit him out of nowhere at some point. Right now he couldn't really remember who HE was. How could he be expected to remember her?

She surprised him by blurting out: "I know I'm supposed to know you. But I don't. I don't remember anything anymore. And I should. This place is killing me!"

For the first time, the detective actually looked around and took in his surroundings. She had a good point. What the hell were they doing here?

"I saw Tweedledum and Tweedledee!" she grabbed his arm, freaking out.

"Um… you've lost me…" Bullock made a funny face. What the…?

"They aren't real! That isn't normal. None of this is normal! I feel funny! I feel trapped! I'm not well!" And she was clearly starting to spiral out of control. If she entered a full blown panic, he wouldn't know what to do with her.

"Hey… hey…" He touched her wrist. "Easy, kiddo. You're panicking."

"I feel funny!"

"You're panicking." He repeated. "Nothing's happening to you… Just slow down…"

She could close her own throat or make herself faint if he didn't turn this around. Holy crap… Her symptoms were real, but her fear was causing them!

"Breathe…" he continued. He'd never been very good at handling these things.

And then he recognized that frightened look in her eyes.

_They were tied up and gagged. It was Christmas. Candy canes would be forced into their mouths. She looked terrified. It was dark, but he could still make out that terrified look in her eyes._

She unexpectedly ripped her wrist away and started running one direction and then another. It was deliberate. She was trying to ground herself.

"Ok, ok…" she panted. She was clearly doing some sort of grounding exercise with her fingers as she stopped running. "Ok, ok, I'm cool… I'm good… If I can talk, I can breathe..." And she tapped her foot and rubbed her fingers together, trying to ground herself.

Bullock was at a loss for what to say.

"Movement sorta breaks the panic." She explained, her voice sounding funny. "Makes me realize my physical symptoms aren't really there. That it's just a panic attack."

She tapped her foot solidly all the while – feeling the ground beneath her helped.

He looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. Waiting.

She started doing a breathing exercise… She needed to get herself grounded, for at the moment her own mind was more of an enemy than the illusion!

She breathed very slowly, slowing her heart rate. And then, only when she felt somewhat grounded, she spoke: "We have to recover our memories if we're going to survive."

"I still don't get any of this." He sighed.

"I partially get it. We're caught in some sort of death trap. It is erasing our minds or something. We've got to get out somehow."

"Well… I dunno…"

"What have you seen? What do you remember?" She was still anxious.

"Um…" The detective glanced back to where the piglet had been. It was gone now. He tried to remember further back.

His face dropped back down, looking at his feet. His hand rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably, he spoke, sorta mumbling: "A baby died here, I think… There was a house. Some abusive freaks. I tried my best, but… I dunno. There was a talking frog. And a talking fish."

He clearly felt awkward describing his experience.

He risked shooting a glance up at her. To gauge her response.

"This place isn't normal." She muttered nervously. "Talking animals. Storybook characters. Dead babies. The place is warped."

She seemed to zone out for a moment, like she was thinking…

"What now?" he ventured.

She sighed. "I know that I know you. I just don't remember anything."

"Ya, well, ditto." He ran his hand through his sweaty, spiking hair.

* * *

Arthur trudged through the grass deep in thought. It had been easier to keep his identity with someone to talk to. This place was also a lot less frightening with company...

He stopped and looked up into the sky again, nervous and tired. If danger showed up he was on his own now. But to have followed Tim and Ally meant certain death. It had to be this way.

Sure, he'd let a kid run off to his death. That wasn't so grand. He should have stopped Bruce's brat from ending himself like that. It was messed up. He was feeling pretty crappy about it now.

But hey, he wasn't a police officer or a soldier or… or… anyone with martial arts training. He wasn't an athlete with physical prowess or someone with emergency training – like a fireman or a paramedic or anything like that. He was a suit and tie, nine to five kinda guy.

This was way, way out of his league. He was in over his head here. They needed help.

He couldn't be expected to… well… the police needed to…

A musical chuckle interrupted his thoughts. Interrupted his over-justifications.

Arthur looked up, startled.

Sure enough, a cat was sitting comfortably on the log – actually twig – before him.

"You feel guilty." The cat was smirking an enormous smirk.

Arthur shook his head and turned the other way. He had to get away from any sort of Wonderland nonsense. It was deadly.

But the cat miraculously appeared everywhere he turned. He could not escape it.

"And I can see why. It wasn't very good of you. Leaving the boy and the reporter to fend for themselves in this dangerous place."

Arthur kept darting around, though he was quickly realizing it was futile.

"And it really wasn't good of you to sell your old friend to the mob, was it? You can feign ignorance all you like, but you knew you were putting his life in jeopardy when you gave them that phone number to trace…"

Arthur covered his ears and closed his eyes.

"Oh right. Like closing out my observations makes them any less true. Like it erases your guilt."

The cat was smiling all the while. Smiling as though friendly, but it wasn't friendly at all.

Arthur swallowed hard. He refused to let this illusion defeat him. This place was very, very good at getting under his skin… at reading his thoughts… at understanding what it needed to do to win.

"The chesire cat was nonsensical." Arthur opened his eyes while still covering his ears, looking very vulnerable.

"Are you sure? I thought he made more sense than anyone. I thought he understood the nature of the place. Hm…?"

"You're straying pretty far from the script." Arthur glared hatefully.

"This isn't about a script. This is about you."

Arthur suddenly recalled the dodo bird's comments about his vanity… and… well, these characters seemed to all have harsh things to say about his inner self. They all seemed to be feeding off his inner issues. It was unnerving.

"You're an easy mark, ya know." The cat chuckled. "For all your cold, arrogant, self-love… you fail to realize you don't REALLY like yourself. You hate yourself. For all your proud talk, you're weak and vulnerable. It's easy to get to you."

Arthur closed his eyes and spoke calmly – "Just shut up."

"It's easy to get to you." The cat repeated.

Arthur's eyes were still closed. He really didn't have a choice. He slipped his hand into his pocket and felt for-

The cat laughed out loud. "Oh please. You're too afraid to hit a major artery."

Arthur was suddenly VERY frightened of hitting a major artery.

Abort mission.

And then, before he even had time to think it, less the cat stop him-

"AHHH!"

Arthur jumped up and down, shaking his hand like a maniac. "Ow, ow, ow!"

He was lucky he didn't set his clothing on fire, he'd struck so fast. He'd had to change tactics before the cat could sense it. He'd been initially feeling for his jackknife. At the last instant he'd snatched his lighter instead and burned his hand.

The cat was gone. It was obviously enough pain to snap him out of the fantasy.

Or at least his mind had decided it was. So much of this was psychological. It had probably worked because he'd decided it was going to work. This place seemed to roll that way, after all… But wait – he shouldn't think that! The cat might come back! He had to stop thinking about the cat!

He returned the lighter to his pocket and pulled out the little jackknife. How deadly was it? He used it to open letters and peel fruit...

He looked around suddenly, self-conscious. Tucking the pocketknife away, he decided to start running. He didn't even pay attention to which direction he picked. He just wanted to get moving. To forget that cat and what it had said.

Eventually he stopped at a toadstool to catch his breath. And his guilt caught up with him.

He began thinking about Tim and Ally. They were probably dead now. Or in serious, _serious_ trouble.

He remembered Tim hating him and feeling he deserved to die. It was a BAD feeling.

If he was rescued everyone was going to want to know what happened. What happened to the others. And he would have to LIE. To pretend he wasn't a total bastard.

He cringed at the idea of ever having to admit he'd left a young boy to die. He wasn't sure he could lie forever about something like that. It was just too bad. He felt sick to his stomach thinking about Tim needing a funeral.

It had already been bad enough to find out Carl had died because of that other bull shit. To find out that Andrea, one of the few people he actually LIKED in this life, had turned into a serial killer because of something he'd done. Ouch. It had been a time of weakness in which he'd handed over a phone number to avoid bankruptcy and the end of his career. He'd been on the brink of disaster and Carl had screwed him over. He'd risked his life helping them escape the mob and then Carl hadn't been willing to help him in return. In fact, the man had wanted to severe ties to ensure he stayed hidden. Arthur had been desperate. He'd been angry. He'd even been a little hurt. But above all, he'd been WEAK.

He tried to blame Carl for getting mixed up with mob... and then actually stealing their money like a fool... He tried to blame Andy for lying all those years, pretending everything was ok when it clearly wasn't... for turning into the exact type of masked lunatic he hated...

But really, he'd been at the root of the whole disaster... He didn't need a cat to tell him he was a selfish BASTARD.

He was weak. That's why Carl and Andrea were finished. That's why Tim Drake was going to die. And that's why Gotham was such a nightmare. Too many cowards and weaklings turning a blind eye or taking the easy route instead of the right one.

And Gotham _was_ a nightmare. They were surrounded by criminals and psychopaths and… and… well… The closest things to "good guys" were shady politicians (himself), deadbeat detectives (Bullock) and freaks in costumes.

Then another ugly thought occurred to him. What if Tim survived and told people what had happened? That was such a horrible thought! Tim would tell everyone how Arthur had left him die back there. UGH. He felt his stomach fall right out of him.

He sighed miserably to himself. He was very conflicted. He knew what was right, but he was a coward.

He kicked the mushroom stem. "Even if I wanted to go back and help them, I couldn't. I have no idea how to get back."

He then realized that the top of the toadstool poked out of the grass. If he could somehow scale to the top of the yucky thing, he'd be able to look around for the smoke. If the caterpillar scene was even still unfolding… but it was worth a shot…

"I'm gonna let fate decide this." He announced to no one in particular. "If I see where the caterpillar is – I swear I'm going back. I'm gonna try to make it right. But if I don't… well… I don't. And I can't do anything. It's too late."

Saying those words made him feel a great deal better already.

* * *

Harvey Bullock and Summer Gleeson – though neither of them recalled those names – were making their way steadily through the brush. Summer had calmed down significantly now that she had company. And once again, the detective had a purpose and was actually moving about the landscape. If he couldn't save the baby, perhaps he could save this girl.

Left alone, neither of them would have been productive, but together they were making ground. He estimated a few hours had passed and they'd covered a great distance… if time and distance even existed in this strange place…

"Does this physical space even exist?" she asked from behind him.

Bullock glanced over his shoulder. "I don't know. Sometimes it seems sharp and solid and real… and other times it feels more like a dream. Ya know?"

"I wish I could just wake up."

"I'm enjoying your company too." He muttered sarcastically.

"You know what I mean…" She sighed.

"I hear ya." He said because he couldn't think of anything else to say. He sounded like he was humoring her in a macho way, but really, he was just tired of this. Really, really tired of this. They'd been walking too long in this heat without food or water and he wanted to take his jacket off, but couldn't because this chick was around now. He looked like HELL without his jacket. But man was it hot. And NO water…

"We should have drank back at the pond…" He muttered.

"What pond?"

He didn't answer. He wasn't altogether sure, frankly.

"Do you think-" she started.

And then Bullock unexpectedly slammed her backwards. She nearly fell over.

"Hey!" she snapped, an aggressive look on her pretty face.

"Snake." Bullock motioned to the grass. But nothing was there now. He could have sworn he'd seen something striped in the grass! What-

"Use your words." She looked angry.

"Oh ya. And watch you die! You needed to back up instantly." He was defensive.

She looked livid.

That facial expression. It suddenly struck him:

"_Come on, Gleeson! This guy's gonna whack me!" _

"_Look on the bright side!" she snarled venomously. "You'll make the six o'clock news!" _

_With that, she slammed a door in his face._

Ouch… They hadn't been friends…

"What?" she suddenly looked nervous again. "What's wrong?"

"Your name's Gleeson." He cleared his throat, looking away. "I just remembered."

"Oh." She looked surprised and then very serious as she tried to recall. "That doesn't sound right."

"Obviously a surname." He turned and started walking again.

"Obviously." She agreed quietly. And then she started to follow him. After a moment she ventured – "Thanks, um, about the snake."

"Whatever." He didn't even look back.

* * *

Arthur took a very long time to scale the mushroom. He wasn't exactly a sports- OH, enough with the excuses already! Oy!

He needed to cut that crap out. He was constantly justifying why he sucked at everything. Why he didn't need to do the right thing. Did he want to spend the rest of his life like this? Holy Hell. Why did it take falling down the rabbit hole to realize he needed an attitude adjustment?

The upside of saving people was that he could hopefully make up for some of the bad things he'd done in his life. Maybe saving Tim would cancel out dooming Carl. Maybe? Probably not. He doubted it worked that way. But he would probably feel better about himself for saving someone. It would be a step in the right direction.

And hey, imagine what people would think if he actually saved someone? Oh wait. He'd spent his career bashing vigilantes. Right. It would look rather hypocritical, wouldn't it? Nevertheless, he could take credit for an act of heroism. It would help his image.

No. He couldn't use saving Tim Drake to boost his image. It would look so contrived as he had a sleazy reputation. Him? A hero? What a freaking JOKE… eesh… He wasn't delusional. Besides, this was supposed to be about his guilt. He had to find a way out of this miserable funk he was in. He felt like crap for being a bastard and a selfless act was the only answer.

He stood up straight and shielded his eyes from the sun. He looked in all directions.

There was a garden nearby… And then he froze.

There was the smoke. It was pretty far off, but it was there.

He felt a pang in his stomach. Oy…

He actually had to do this now.

* * *

"Recite." The caterpillar spoke indifferently.

"How does the busy bumblebee…" Tim stood and started. He then went completely blank. "Um…"

"Continue."

"Um… I don't know. I wasn't raised in the eighteenth century."

"And why not?"

"Or was it nineteenth century?" Tim frowned.

"Don't you know?" The caterpillar was always challenging. He was extremely argumentative.

"Sorry. I guess not. I'm not really sure about time anymore."

"Why?"

"I… I dunno."

"You? Who are you?"

"I used to know. Now I don't."

"Why?"

"Quit attacking me!" Tim grew defensive.

"You? Who are you?"

"ERRR!" Tim threw up his hands in frustration.

Ally stood and recited perfectly:

_"How doth the little crocodile_  
_Improve his shining tail,_  
_And pour the waters of the Nile_  
_On every golden scale!_

_How cheerfully he seems to grin,_  
_How neatly spread his claws,_  
_And welcome little fishes in_  
_With gently smiling jaws!"_

"Wrong." The caterpillar was blunt.

Ally's face fell. "OH."

"Then how does it go?" Tim countered rudely.

"Don't you know?" The creature smirked.

"NO! That's why I'm asking, genius!" Tim scowled again.

"This is the worst conversation ever." Ally sulked. For once he wasn't happy.

"Why are we even here?" Tim demanded, turning to the reporter.

"Recite." The caterpillar interrupted.

Ally sprang to attention again. "How does the busy bumblebee-"

"Don't bother!" Tim snapped.

"And why not?" The caterpillar challenged.

"Coz this is pointless! You're pointless! This whole thing is POINTLESS. I don't even remember why we're here."

"Where?"

"Here! Right here!"

"Where?"

"ERRR!" Tim snarled in frustration.

"Recite."

Ally sprang to attention: "How does the busy bumblebee…"

"AHHH!" Tim grabbed his hair.

* * *

Speaking of bumblebees…

The sound was absolutely deafening. Arthur had hit the dirt and prayed for a miracle. He risked looking at the creature as it hovered by the flowers. It wasn't cute at this size, it was grotesque. He felt the air from its flutter.

It landed and crawled a little beside him, strange movements...

He bit down on his tongue to silence his anxiety.

When it took off, it grazed him. It actually TOUCHED him. It tickled as it passed.

When it was gone Arthur realized:_ I survived. All by myself. _

Feeling uplifted, he rose and walked towards the smoke. He could do this. Somehow it would be ok.

* * *

"Didn't you wear a hat?" Summer asked randomly. They were still pushing through the bush and they were both sweaty and unkempt.

"I think so. I dunno. I must have lost it."

They trudged onward. They both wanted to rest, but both were too proud to ask for a break. There was an awkwardness between them. Things were strained.

"Didn't you have red hair?" Bullock asked, trying to take his mind off his thirst.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"I remember you with red hair."

"What do you specifically remember?"

"I dunno." Bullock lied. It was awkward. She had clearly hated him.

"But I had red hair?"

"Ya, it looked a lot better." The detective was honest. Too honest.

Summer scowled, offended. "Gee, thanks!"

"Well, no offense. You're hot either way."

"Excuse me?" She snarled. Was he socially inept or what?

"Sorry, Gleeson. Never was one for chat-chat." Bullock muttered impatiently.

"Clearly. You're a real charmer. I bet you sweet talk ALL the ladies."

"Look, I'm hungry, thirsty, hot, tired, confused – not to mention missing my identity in a freaking death trap – forgive me if I'm not exactly graceful in the art of conversation!"

Summer was taken aback by this comeback. It was unexpectedly good. Hm. He wasn't a stupid jerk. He was just a jerk.

"Well, you were always like this." She muttered, somehow knowing it to be true.

"Bitchy?"

"And hungry."

Bullock sighed. And then decided to lighten the mood. "And confused, right?"

"Right." She sighed, also tired of fighting.

"Look, Gleeson, sorry to be a dick."

She didn't look appeased. "Well… you have been a dick, you know."

"I don't apologize easy." He was getting irritated again. "Don't blow it."

"What? You said yourself, buddy, you've been a real-"

"I'm a detective." He suddenly realized.

"What?" She was confused.

"Dick. You know, detective. I just kinda… I dunno… realized that…"

"O… K…" Summer raised an eyebrow.

"Never mind." Bullock shook his head. "I'm sick of all the yakking. Can't we just try to survive in silence?"

She gave a loud, impatience sigh and said nothing further.

And then a memory hit Harvey like a punch in the jaw:

"_Come on, Gleeson…" He tried to speak with charisma as he turned her chair towards him. He attempted a charming smile. As awkward as it was for him. _

"_You're lucky I talk to you at all..." Gleeson said unkindly. The expression on her face stung his ego. She wasn't charmed. In fact, she disliked him._

Bullock tried to remember why he'd been trying to win her over. He knew it had been extremely important. He had really needed her help. He hadn't been actually trying to charm her sincerely. His heart hadn't been in it. But STILL, her rejection sucked. It had really stung. Was he really that disgusting? That despicable?

He played back the other memory in his possession:

"_Come on, Gleeson! This guy's gonna whack me!" _

"_Look on the bright side!" she snarled venomously. "You'll make the six o'clock news!" _

_With that, she slammed a door in his face._

Ouch. The more he mauled over this stuff, the harder it was to deal with Gleeson in the present. Whoever she was to him. It was growing increasingly awkward.

"Woah!" He unexpectedly stopped. He'd seen another flash of stripes in the trees.

"What?" she rushed forward.

"I saw the stripes again." He muttered.

"You are not making ANY sense. Detective. Stripes. You're not coherent!"

ERRR… She was pissing him off…

* * *

"AHHH!" Tim ripped at his hair in frustration. "That's it! I'm gone!"

"Timmy, wait…" Ally sounded upset.

Tim did not wait. He burst through the wall and grass and into the clearing. He had no idea who he was, where he was or where he was going now, but he didn't care.

There was no way he was staying with that confrontational caterpillar!

And then, unexpectedly, he heard: "Young boy, wait! Come back! Please. I have something very important to tell you!"

The caterpillar sounded sincere. He no longer sounded unkind and argumentative.

Tim stopped and looked back. The caterpillar had climbed up a branch to be above the grassline. He looked extremely earnest.

Tim turned around and started trudging back…

He hadn't been headed anywhere in particular anyway. Hopefully the caterpillar would have something helpful to say.

When he cut through the grass wall again, the caterpillar was sitting patiently. It had that look on its face again. That indifferent, arrogant look. It was so pompous.

Tim walked right up the mushroom cap. "Yes?"

"Keep your temper."

Tim saw red. "IS THAT ALL?"

The caterpillar smirked in response. The expression was unmistakable.

Tim was angry enough to bite off his own tongue. And he nearly did.

But then the caterpillar blew a ton of smoke directly into his face. Tim began to hack uncontrollably for a moment. His eyes watered. The smell was extremely intoxicating.

He felt a little dizzy. A little unsteady on his feet.

Another large puff of scented smoke was blown into his face. He hacked more. His eyes hurt. He was confused… disoriented…

He stumbled and found himself sitting on the ground.

Ally was lying down fast asleep.

UH OH…

Tim opened his mouth to cry out, but more smoke stopped his words. He coughed violently. So violently his throat and lungs ached. He couldn't cough like this much longer. It would almost be better to fall asleep…

He tried to fight. He coughed until specks of blood hit the ground.

* * *

"ACK!" Summer cried out, having suddenly scratched her leg badly. A thorn branch had slashed across her skin and now she was bleeding drops of blood down her lovely legs.

Bullock stopped walking and turned around. He noticed her wound. Then he noticed her legs. And then he caught himself noticing her legs and shook his head.

"What?" she demanded.

"Nothing. Just realizing there's nothing we can do for that cut. I've got a handkerchief, but otherwise…"

"Don't bother." She sighed. It would probably be dirty anyway. Eesh.

He didn't really know what else to say. The slash was kinda deep. It should been cleaned and covered up in this forest. If they had to poke around out here long enough it would get infected. He decided to allude to this problem.

"It might get infected out here. We could be roughing it for days." And then he frowned. "Or forever."

"For at least as long as we live." Summer was pessimistic. "We're not doing very well. We've been wandering for hours. No food, no water. We're going to die out here. This place was DESIGNED to kill us."

"Don't start flipping out again." Bullock sighed.

Summer was briefly taken aback by this. She initially seemed embarrassed. She was then extremely defensive. "I was having a panic attack, ok? Are you so inhuman that you've never had a moment of weakness? We're probably going to die. I think I'm entitled to a little fear."

Bullock sighed again. "Aww, not expecting Bats to save us?"

"Who?"

Bullock suddenly froze. "Um, I dunno. Stuff is just kinda coming outta my mouth. I don't understand it all the time…"

Summer started to say something particularly nasty, but caught herself. She closed her mouth visibly. And Bullock glared at her.

"What?" she was defensive. "You walked right into it."

"Oh no, PLEASE, don't hold any punches…" Bullock was sarcastic.

Summer grumbled and looked away.

Bullock decided to sit down since they had stopped walking anyway. His feet and legs ached and he just wanted to go to sleep. Unfortunately, he suspected falling asleep was dangerous in this place. And yet it was designed to wear a person down. Death trap indeed. He was about to share this thought with Summer and thought better of it.

"What?" she saw he had been about to speak.

He went for it anyway. "Just realizing we probably shouldn't sleep. We might not wake up. Which sucks, considering this place is designed to make us exhausted."

Summer looked uneasy. She slowly sat down on a nearby rock. She investigated her leg wound and Bullock found himself staring at her again. He shook his head. He had to stop that! Jeez… Yes, she was pretty. But it was sleazy of him. And she found him disgusting. And he was progressively disliking her and had probably disliked her in his previous life.

He looked away. He did NOT want her catching him staring. No way. That was the last thing he needed. He'd already stupidly called her hot. He didn't need to seem any more like a freaking CREEP out here. This situation sucked enough.

"So…" Summer sounded awkward. "What we're doing isn't working. We can't continue like this. Any other ideas?"

"Well… the only water I know of was back where we came from. And we could potentially make it back there without dying… But we'd be faint. Real faint. We're sore, tired and parched now. I can't imagine repeating this exercise without any kind of recharge. Ya know? Oy."

"What if we go back there and the water isn't there anymore? This place is like that."

"True. And I don't wanna go back to that cottage either way. That psycho bitch of a duchess is someone I never wanna cross again."

"You never told me fully what happened back there. You alluded to it, but-"

"I didn't ask you about the idiot twins." Bullock interrupted her, not wanting to go there.

"There's nothing to tell. You're situation sounded… well..."

Bullock scowled. "Interesting? You find that kinda messed up crap interesting?"

Summer didn't know how to respond. She really was curious. She didn't remember she was a reporter.

And then they were interrupted by an unexpected chuckling. It was musical and warm.

Bullock turned slowly and saw the stripes again. In the tree branch above their heads.

Summer saw an enormous white smile gradually appear and cried out in alarm. She jumped to her feet.

"It's the duchess' cat." Bullock didn't stand. He wasn't pleased.

* * *

Arthur came to the spot where he'd abandoned Tim and Ally.

He could see Ally's footprints in the mud where he'd landed after his massive jump into the clearing. Remembering the happiness and the energy of the dreaming man made him sad suddenly. Ally was probably dead now. He should have let Tim stop the loon from running off like that.

Arthur poked his head through the grass and saw the clearing leading to the next grass wall. Beyond it was still the smoke coming up over the grass line.

He had a terrible feeling that Tim and Ally were long gone and that he was walking into a trap. He was going to die because he'd acted at the wrong time. He should have helped Tim right from the beginning. Now he was probably going to die. EESH.

He was determined not to chicken out... or succumb to the caterpillar. He would just barge in and out of the clearing once he assessed the situation. He would figure out what happened to the others and then act instantly and decisively. He would not fall under any spell.

He braced himself and then started forward into the clearing.

His heart started racing. He couldn't kid himself. He was frightened.

* * *

Tim and Ally were dozing on the ground amongst spirals of coloured smoke.

Through the clearing came a determined Arthur.

He immediately saw the two slumbering victims and knew he'd made the right decision. No question. He only hoped it wasn't too late now…

He beelined for Tim and began to shake the boy.

"Who are you?" the caterpillar challenged.

Arthur did his best to tune the character out. It wasn't real. The conversation wasn't happening. He had to try to get these guys out of here…

He continued to shake Tim, but the kid wasn't waking up. It was probably too late!

"WHO ARE YOU?" The caterpillar repeated.

Arthur shook Tim harder. "Wake up, kid! WAKE UP!"

The caterpillar blew a large cloud of intoxicating smoke at Arthur. The councilman began to hack, but didn't let go of Tim. He continued to try to wake the boy up.

"WHO ARE YOU?" the caterpillar repeated, blowing more smoke.

"Not participating." Arthur told himself with determination.

More smoke hit him and he realized he was falling down… This was it…

And then he remembered something.

"OW!" he burned himself on the neck. It really, really hurt. Necks are freaking sensitive.

Arthur realized what to do. He turned to Tim with an open flame.

Tim screamed suddenly. His shirt was on fire!

"AH! FIRE! FIRE!" Tim reflexively began to roll around on the ground to douse the flames. Thank goodness that this crucial lifesaving information had been brainwashed into him as a child. Instinct kicked in – ROLL.

What the hell? Why was the shirt burning so fast?

"AHHH!" Ally freaked out, slapping at his neck in pain. Arthur had successfully gotten his neck without burning his clothing.

Tim, meanwhile – "OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! I'M BURNING!"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry! I had to!" Arthur was on his feet, hopping about. He wasn't sure how to help the boy. This was so messed up.

Fortunately, rolling worked. The flames finally gone, Tim's shirt was partially black now.

"Come on!" Arthur ushered the two through the grass wall and into the clearing.

They ran and ran until Arthur stopped them. "Ok, ok, I think we're safe now."

"WHAT THE HELL?" Tim unexpectedly punched Arthur in the face. SMACK!

Arthur hit the ground, blood coming from his nose and mouth. The kid was powerful. Shit.

"Damn it..." Reeves whispered, giving Tim a very dark look as he touched his face and found blood on his hand. That had hurt like hell. Hopefully his nose wasn't broken and his smile was intact. If there was permanent damage to his face...

"You set me on fire, you jerk!" Tim barked furiously.

"Why'd you burn me?" Ally Knox asked sulkily. "It really hurt."

"I had to." Arthur was checking his teeth gingerly. "I had to wake you from that killer spell. That caterpillar was ending you two."

Tim suddenly remembered everything.

Arthur waited for it. He expected a thank you and reconciliation.

Instead, Tim smirked. "A-ha! Looks like I guilted you into doing the right thing after all."

Arthur wasn't impressed. Not AT ALL.

* * *

The chesire cat chuckled confidently from its branch, smirking down at them.

"Well, well, well…" grinned the cat. It was so creepy. "Beauty and the Beast."

"Back off, freak! Or I'll kick your ass back to that cottage!" Bullock sprang to his feet, pissed off.

"Stop trying to impress her. She finds you repulsive." The cat spoke plainly.

Bullock was taken aback. He had no response.

"What do you want?" Summer snapped, wanting to change the direction of the conversation.

"What does anyone want?" the cat smirked indifferently. "But if you must know, you two seem hopelessly lost…"

"We've totally lost our way." Summer agreed, sounding miserable.

"The way, hm? Didn't realize it belonged to you."

"Any idea where water is?" Summer asked hopefully.

"Gleeson…" Bullock was using his warning tone. These characters couldn't be trusted.

"Hm, that's funny. The racers have far too much water and you folks haven't a drop. You're either drowning or dying of thirst. What a lovely place this is, no?"

"We really need help." Gleeson spoke in earnest. "We've been wandering for hours. We really, really need to get somewhere."

"Oh, you'll always get somewhere if you walk long enough."

"I fear we'll die first." Summer frowned.

"Dying is somewhere, love."

Summer didn't like this answer. She suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Well, we don't want to die."

"There isn't usually a choice." The cat spoke indifferently.

"Well, yes, but-"

The cat chuckled. "You'll have to be more specific if you want directions."

"Well… if we continue in this direction, where will we end up?"

"Hm, this way leads to the Mad Hatter."

"Oh, oh no." Summer didn't like the sound of that. "No one mad."

"Well, this way leads to the March Hare."

"Oh, ok. Good. Thanks."

"But he's also mad."

"Oooh…" Summer seemed to almost wail. "But I don't want to go amongst mad people!"

The cat really laughed now. "That's unavoidable. We're ALL mad here."

"Clearly." Bullock muttered.

"Well, you must be mad too. Else you wouldn't have come here."

Summer tugged on Bullock's arm. "Maybe I really have lost my mind!"

"Or maybe this cat is rattling you something wicked." Bullock jerked his arm free.

"I feel I've had this conversation before. Or a similar one." The cat admitted. "You blondes are all the same. So easy to confuse and useless under pressure."

"She's actually a red head." Bullock inserted indifferently. It added salt to the wound.

The cat ignored him and didn't stop speaking: "You wail like a child. At least she WAS a child. What's your excuse? Forget to take your meds?"

Summer was shocked and then hurt and then humiliated. The cat had cut her to the marrow. And in front of that grumpy detective too.

It had nothing to do with being blonde. It was her meds. The cat knew about her meds. About her having panic disorder. She could just tell.

Bullock saw the look on her face and decided to intervene. "If you're gonna take anything a talking cat says to heart, doll, you ARE in rough shape."

Oh wait. That was helping?

Summer looked about to cry. Her hand was still over her mouth.

"He's just a stupid cat, Gleeson…" Bullock tried again, going for a persuasive tone.

The cat chuckled. Bullock looked at it, realizing it would probably target him now.

"Oh, please… What could I possibly say to make you look any worse?" The cat laughed, reading his mind. "You don't need my help. You're doing a fine enough job playing the part of the fat, ugly, incompetent, jerk of a slob."

"Nice. Nice." Bullock smirked darkly. "Hit the ground running. Get it all out there in that first blow. Nice."

"Nice is hardly the word for this cat." Gleeson frowned.

"You know…" The cat trailed off, smirking. "You wouldn't be SO ugly if you actually tried a little. But you're hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. You don't lift a finger to help yourself. No wonder everyone despises you. I can't imagine being so utterly hated by my community. I'd pity you if you didn't deserve it."

Wow. This cat was going for the jugular. It was ON.

Bullock advanced angrily. "Ya, well-"

"STOP! Just please stop!" Gleeson couldn't handle any more. It was just too horrible. The cat's words were like acid. It pained her to hear what he was saying to this detective. It really did.

The cat chuckled. "Oh please. You've said far worse to him. It is laughable for you to chastise me. If you only remembered some of your words, your actions. While he's no gentleman and no prize, you – my dear – have treated him as subhuman."

Summer felt a pang of guilt. She glanced at Bullock and suddenly felt bad. She couldn't remember treating him horribly, but deep down, she'd always kind of had a feeling…

The cat observed two miserable individuals. "Alright, alright. I'll say something nice. But only ONE thing. Who gets it?"

"Him." Summer spoke before Bullock could even THINK.

The cat cleared his throat as if stating something kind was a rare and formal occasion.

He turned to Bullock: "It was good of you to remove the baby from that situation. There's a touch of humanity in you that makes you an adequate police officer."

Bullock was completely taken aback by this. He hadn't expected anything like that.

Summer watched the detective intently. She hoped this helped. Even a little.

"If you aren't going to help us, please leave us." She ventured to speak finally.

"Fair enough." The cat began to slowly disappear. And then suddenly reappeared entirely. "Oh wait! I nearly forgot. Are you attending the Queen's croquet match?"

"If there's food and water, we'd love to!" Summer piped right up.

Bullock scowled, remembering the duchess would be there.

"Oh, that's right." The cat smirked. "You haven't been invited. What a shame. I guess you'll just have to drive each other mad out her in the woods until you perish. Ta ta!"

The cat vanished.

Bullock sighed. "We don't wanna go, Gleeson. That crazy duchess will be there. She'll probably have me put to death. And who knows what she'll do to you. You can't even look at her, let alone speak or move or… I mean… She's just so evil."

Summer blinked. "You're actually talking to me like we're both people."

Before Bullock could respond, the cat appeared unexpectedly.

"I forgot to ask…" the animal interrupted, smirking. "What happened to the baby?"

Bullock was extremely surprised. And then his gaze dropped.

Summer watched him. He always did this when he wasn't comfortable with what he had to say. He couldn't look at anybody. He left you looking at his messy hair.

"Well…" The cat prompted pleasantly. "What happened to the baby?"

"It died." Bullock didn't look up.

"That's funny. I thought it turned into a pig."

"Same thing."

"Tsk, tsk. So dramatic."

Bullock couldn't help himself. He risked a glance upward and asked: "Why did that happen?"

"Because on some level, you willed it to." The cat answered simply.

"No – freaking – way." The detective responded sharply.

"You likely doomed that child because you were convinced it was doomed. That you couldn't care for it. Which is a pity, considering you could have actually cared for it. Even if you can't take care of yourself."

Bullock couldn't answer.

"You shouldn't have asked." The cat smiled. "Well, ta ta."

The cat vanished again. This time for good.

Summer watched the miserable detective for a moment. He hadn't liked that answer at all. The whole conversation had been so sad and so very awkward. She'd found herself constantly cringing and feeling sorry for this guy. It had been pretty horrible for her to watch. The cat was ruthless and relentless and well… well…

She searched for words, but had nothing decent to say.

Instead, she reached out and touched his cheek in a very comforting manner.

"Don't touch me." He said softly, jerking away.

He really did do nothing to help himself.

* * *

Tim, Ally and Arthur were still wandering about the grass, thankful to have escaped the caterpillar alive. That had been far too close. Much more dangerous than the mouse or the dodo had seemed to be.

"Well, three out of five individuals being together is pretty good." Tim assured Arthur. "We just have to find Gleeson and Bullock now. If they're alive."

"Hopefully they'll be together." Arthur muttered. "That would make this SO much easier."

Tim laughed. "Fat chance! Those two sticking together?"

"Ya, what's with that animosity?" Arthur couldn't resist having a real conversation.

"Gleeson used to tolerate Bullock… but, well, he's Bullock. Now she can't even handle that. She can't even PRETEND to be nice anymore."

"She's certainly interviewed him enough times." Arthur shrugged.

"Oh ya. They've got a long history of pissing each other off."

"PERFECT." Arthur realized. "NONE of us like each other."

"Aww, Reeves." Tim muttered sarcastically. "You're so full of love."

"What?"

"Just when I thought we were forging a connection here, you go and remind me you're a bastard. You always do that. Without fail."

"You never cease to amaze me with the _language_ that comes outta your mouth_. _Classy. You're a _child_ and yet you're throwing punches and shooting off your foul little mouth-"

"Don't change the subject!" Tim snarled.

"You wanted me DEAD, Kid. Of course we aren't buddies!"

"I was just pissed. You deserved some harsh words at that moment. And hey, it worked. You did the right thing in the end. You came back and saved us."

"Something you never thanked me for, by the way. I nearly died trying."

"You need to be thanked for doing the right thing? After being a monster about it?"

"Boys, boys, boys…" Ally sprang between them merrily.

There was an awkward silence. They'd gotten way off topic.

Arthur sighed. "You know what I meant. I don't like anyone. You don't like me and Bullock-"

"I like Bullock." Tim inserted, just to be insulting.

Ally interrupted. "You don't like anyone. Bullock doesn't like anyone. Tim doesn't like you. Gleeson doesn't like you and Bullock. I'd be more or less indifferent if I wasn't hopped up on the Wonderland experience."

"Oh, come on!" Tim smirked. "You like me and Summer. Especially Summer."

"I barely remember her." Ally was truthful. "But then again, I don't remember much."

"The bottom line is we're a very dysfunctional group in a very dangerous situation!" Arthur interrupted impatiently. "Not ideal."

And that's when they exited the grass and found themselves unexpectedly on a mowed lawn. Before them was an extremely beautiful garden. Something out of a painting.

Tim whistled.

"I saw this when I scouted out the area." Arthur remembered. "I didn't want to head for it."

"Why not?" Tim pointed to the fountain. "We need water, dumb ass."

"Ah, the _respect_…" Arthur smiled. "I can only imagine the parenting..."

Tim was instantly livid... and then he unexpectedly calmed. "Consider us even now."

"What?" Arthur blinked.

"You saved my life and I just spared yours."

With that Tim waltzed towards the garden. Arthur blinked.

Ally grew excited and bounced after the boy.

"Wait!" Arthur called impatiently. "This is that garden of talking plants! We can't go in! It's going to be another trap…"

But neither of the boys were listening. They were already drinking from the fountain.

And Arthur was extremely thirsty. He'd die without water.

He glanced around uneasily and then went over to the fountain.

"Hopefully nothing bad happens…" he muttered to himself.

Who was he kidding?

* * *

**Note: Next chapter reveals what is going on in the real world simultaneously. Pace will change, tons of characters start coming in... **


	5. Here's What's Actually Happening

**

* * *

**

ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES

**Chapter 5: Here's What's Actually Happening…**

**Disclaimer: I do not pretend to own anything from **_**Batman: The Animated Series**_**, **_**Batman: Mask of the Phantasm**_** or **_**Alice in Wonderland**_**. No profit is being made. **

* * *

Alfred handed Bruce the phone.

"Tim?" Bruce was relieved to hear the boy's voice. He had had his doubts about a Wonderland park. He had been uneasy about sending the boy when it could so easily be a trap. Their lives were full of traps.

"This place is AWESOME!!" the boy sounded pumped. "Best – Park – EVER!"

"I'm glad you're alright." Bruce smiled.

"Oh ya. I expected people like Bullock and Reeves to make it SUCK, but they're actually ok. And the food and the rides and the pools and the hotel – everything is just so awesome!"

"That's good." Bruce glanced at his watch. He needed to suit up and head out. "Nothing suspicious at all?"

"Nope! But if anything happens, it's good to have me here on the ground. Ya know?"

"Right." Bruce noticed Barbara motioning for him to hurry up. "Alright, well, just call me in the morning so I know things are still ok."

"You bet!" Tim hung up, sounding really upbeat.

Barbara scowled. "We could really use him tonight. I don't know why people assume super villains only strike one at a time. Or in pairs. ERR…"

"Relax." Bruce headed towards a grandfather clock to let them down into the cave. "You take Clock King and I'll take King Tut. Then we'll hook up afterwards and work on tracking down The Ventriloquist, ok?"

"ERR…" She scowled, jealous Tim was off on vacation when it was a particularly stressful period.

"Don't go offline." He snapped. "I hate it when you're incommunicado. Especially when you're working alone."

"Alright, alright." She was already in her suit. She'd gotten that fast at changing. "I'm taking the bike!" With that, she was gone on a motorcycle.

Alfred smirked. "I know you don't like to admit me… But you do need the help…"

"Just let me know if anything changes with Tim! I've got a vibe. That park appeared out of nowhere and I suspect the paperwork won't check out."

* * *

Traffic slowed, the sun set and evening pressed into later evening. The city grew quiet and dark and the less and less people were on the street.

Within the walls of a well respected group home, a blonde man was fiddling with a pocket watch. Satisfied he'd put it back together properly, he set it down on his desk and sighed. This was the third time he'd taken it apart and put it back together. He needed something WAY more challenging.

No matter. It was nearly bedtime. He liked to get reading in before lights out. Bed at 10:00 PM, lights out entirely by 11:00 PM. He didn't know what was standard for group homes, but this seemed perfectly reasonable. He felt fortunate be allowed a bookshelf and some tools at all.

It had been a very long time since anyone had trusted with anything. This might very well be his last chance. He really needed to prove himself this time.

He glanced at a very full bookshelf to his left. Not sure what to start next…

There was a quiet rap on his doorframe. He knew who it was before he even turned around. It was time for his dose.

Two social workers were there with all the pills and a glass of water.

"Deciding on some bedtime reading?" The first smiled. He was young, fresh out school.

"Why yes, Rick…" the blonde scratched his head.

"Here ya go, Jervis." The older, more experienced worker handed him the first pill and the glass of water. They had to watch him closely and make sure he actually took them.

There was a lot of trust here and relaxed security, but not THAT much trust. They still supervised him closely and made sure he took all his pills all the time.

Initially he'd despised such patronizing routines, but years had passed and he'd realized life was better on the medication.

He took each pill, making it unmistakable that he was actually swallowing them. He showed his tongue and everything. The caregivers loved how cooperative he was.

Though his release was conditional and he would have to spend the rest of his life in group homes like this, it was much better than an asylum. He was grateful for the freedoms, for the opportunities. He didn't want to blow it. This could be his last chance, he constantly reminded himself.

He COULD be good. He would prove it to everyone.

* * *

Pamela was watering her roses, carefully removing any dead leaves.

Since she was an outlaw hiding out, she had to grow all her plants with indoor artificial lighting. The lights were on timers and in many ways were more effective than natural light. She had everything set to the maximum-

She heard an unexpected rattle.

Pretending she hadn't heard it at all, she continued to hum and reached seamlessly until the plant table for a weapon.

Suddenly there was tapping on the nearby window. The window looked into the next room.

She turned to see a man dressed as a mime on the other side of the glass.

He was smiling at her. And then he waved goodbye.

Instantly, green smoke flooded into the room from the ventilation system.

Before Ivy had time to process what was happening, she was fainting.

* * *

"Morning!" Tim was like a young bird ready to fly.

"Are you bouncing?" Bruce raised an eyebrow.

"I just wanna get off the phone and get out there. This place is AWESOME! You have to come with me next weekend. And bring a bunch of people. I swear. It is that good!"

"Just let me know if you see anything suspicious." Bruce sighed, hanging up.

Bruce returned to the evidence before him. Hmmm…

"Calendar Girl?" Alfred asked, glancing over his shoulder.

"Looking that way." Bruce held a shard of glass up to the light, thinking.

* * *

"You, young lady, were very hard to find." Joker smirked, pinching her cheek.

Ivy was bound and gagged. Deadly angry, she looked more poisonous than ever.

"Oh, I can't resist! I just can't!" Joker was unexpectedly excited.

He yanked Ivy's gag off and allowed her to start screaming at him. They hated each other and he just LOVED it.

A distinguished man in a green suit lowered his hat over his eyes. This would get awkward. He hadn't wanted her to have a chance to speak before they doomed her. They'd had a truce and this definitely violated it!

"I expected this from him, Eddie, but not from you." She spat viciously.

"Sorry, Ivy. This isn't personal."

Joker laughed. "Awww! A romance never to be…"

"Romance?" Ivy's rage escalated. She spit at Edward's feet. "No chance in hell. I see now what this guy's word it worth. NOTHING."

"If you actually expected honour amongst thieves, you're more of a joke than ME!" Joker laughed. "But really, Red, if you must know – Eddie does have a soft spot for you. He twisted my arm for DAYS trying to save you."

Awkward. Joker loved making things as AWKWARD as possible. Loved seeing people squirm. ERRR….

But Edward didn't DARE tell Jack to stop. Or to do anything. The guy was just too unpredictable and dangerous. It was moments like these he couldn't fathom why he'd agreed to work together. The balance of power was way, way off. Joker called the shots and Joker alone. But it had been a ridiculously brilliant plan… or so it seemed at the time… eesh…

"Long story short – Sorry, Red, it has to be you. Later days!" And he nonchalantly shoved her into a small, sealed chamber.

She slammed violently against the glass, despite her arms being tied. Eventually she felt too hot and sleepy to continue. It was SO hot… dangerously hot… And then she fell asleep…

"Did it REALLY have to play out like that?" Edward asked unhappily.

"For a genius, you spend FAR too much time thinking with the wrong head." The Joker smacked him across the fact so hard he hit the ground.

Ed touched his jaw gingerly and glanced up at Jack, waiting for the clown to continue. He always did. He loved to hear his own voice.

Jack scooped him up in a painful hug. "Of all super villains, she'll be able to spread the virus most effectively, silly goose. No one charms their way into the presence of others like Red. Tramp that she is. And once we've infected all the major players, it will trickle down into all facets of organized and unorganized crime."

Ed sighed, brushing himself off. "I still don't see why you want to do this. It isn't chaotic. You'll be bored once all of Gotham is under our spell."

Joker grabbed a telephone and started down a long line of little chambers. He stopped and looked back: "I'm bored ALREADY and this scheme is complex enough to pose a brief challenge…" And then he started laughing. Slapping his knee, he added: "And Batman will stop us, of course! But not until he's followed the maddening wild goose chase we've left him." And with that he laughed his way down the hall.

Ed sighed. He didn't want to go to Arkham. The idea had been to succeed.

* * *

"No, no, the dog's fine. No trouble at all." Montoya smiled, wrapping herself up in the phone cord without realizing it. An adorable little dog was running around her feet, looking up anxiously for attention.

"Good. I appreciate you watching him for me like this. I don't generally go away."

"No problem. Glad you're having a good time…"

"Ya, this place is pretty sweet. All expenses paid. You should check it out. Bring your friends." Bullock sounded like Bullock. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"Maybe I will. It sounds pretty amazing."

* * *

Ed sighed. He had no idea where Jack was. That guy was a lose canon. And he'd known that years and years ago. Why did he continue to pair up with him and continue to fail? And get screwed over? Oy…

He studied the sleeping individuals. One in each little chamber. The chambers were kind of like transparent pods. Maybe Jervis Tetch had been thinking of aliens when he had drawn up the blue prints. They reminded Ed of an alien abduction or autopsy or whatever… that science fiction stuff…

They hadn't been easy to build. He wasn't a neurotechnician after all. While there had been some similarities to the virtual reality technology he used to trap people like Batman and Gordon in their own minds, there had been striking differences. It was a virus.

He smirked, remembering confusing Batman with chess characters and all sorts of crazy stuff like that. Chess characters were designed into the Wonderland reality too. He liked this sort of stuff. It tickled his fancy.

The sleepers in these chambers were the carriers. It would soon be time to release them and to spread the Wonderland virus. Tetch had discovered how to turn mind control into a virus. It had been too intriguing to pass over.

The idea had been to select carriers from various branches of city life. Law enforcement, government, the social elite, the media, the criminal element… These pillars of the community would trickle the virus down to all the commoners and before long everyone would be infected.

The mayor's son and the staff (hired under the pretense of running the park) were also in chambers. They would also be released to spread the virus.

They would feel normal and not realize anything was wrong with them. That they were doomed and were dooming everyone they knew with every touch, every casual moment of contact… It was beautiful…

Best of all, he loved the elaborate trail he and Jack had crafted to send Batman and the authorities in all the wrong directions. It was absolutely genius. Nobody would be able to crack this case… There were too many red herrings and dead ends. Whichever path Batman decided to follow, it would be equally wrong!

He would FINALLY prove he was smarter than the dark knight.

And yet Jack expected to be caught.

"Probably because I can't resist leaving calling cards." He muttered to himself bitterly. He was trying VERY hard not to leave any clues that revealed the truth. But he'd realized long ago that he often did so without even realizing it. He'd probably already left Batman some clues without knowing it. Sigh.

* * *

Ivy woke up feeling warm and comfortable in soft, lush grass. She sat up and looked around, a little dizzy and disoriented yet. She suspected she was dreaming.

And the fact that a large chess pieced bounced past her confirmed the fact.

She watched the horse head of a knight bounce along, crossing the green space.

She rose to her feet, brushed herself off and began smoothing her radiant red hair. It was a beautiful day here. Wherever here was.

And then a second knight bounced by. They had both been white. Hmm…

Perhaps there was a battle starting somewhere.

She decided to head in that direction too. Nothing else was going on.

This was a fairly empty dream.

* * *

Bullock and Gleeson had walked another great stretch. The sun never seemed to set in this land. Surely they'd already walked a full day. Nothing made any sense.

"Well, I'm GLAD night doesn't fall." Bullock mumbled. "We need light."

"Apples!" Summer dug her nails into Harvey's arm suddenly. "Thank GOD!"

They practically tripped over each other racing to the newly discovered food.

They each grabbed a few yellow-green apples and sat down.

Summer just starting mowing down, but Harvey pulled out a knife and peeled his, eating chunks off his blade.

"I thought I was going to faint." Summer smiled, cheerful now that she had food.

"I would have preferred water." Bullock was blunt.

They sat in silence for a minute.

Gleeson began twisting the stem off her apple, whispering something to herself. And then the stem snapped and she called out: "K!"

"Huh?"

"I'm going to marry someone with the initial K."

Bullock snorted as he thought this was STUPID and started peeling another apple.

He then cleared his throat and decided to try to be nicer to her.

"Same thing with throwing an apple peel over your shoulder, eh? Usually the peel lands as a letter."

"Never heard that. Let me try!"

He handed her his knife and she tried to peel a large apple.

A few little peelings fell on the ground. They were always curves as she wasn`t good.

"C!" She announced. "Always C. Who do I know with a C?"

After a moment, one of the curves landed facing the sky. "Oh, look! U!"

Bullock rolled his eyes.

"Hm… the person who invented this game must have had a C name. They were anxious for a match…"

"Give me that. You suck." Bullock yanked the knife away from her.

He peeled a very, very long, continuous peel. In fact, when he finished, he had peeled the entire apple in one single peel.

"Show off. " She scowled.

"If the peel is long enough and you throw it high enough, you can get lots of letters." With that he threw it high over his shoulder and it landed like a M or a W. Take your pick.

He then quickly did another one and it landed like an S. But neither of them remembered her name was Summer, so it wasn't awkward. She was just impressed to see letters. Actual letters!

"Hmmm… M, W, S…" And then she looked up at him. "Do you think we're married already?"

"I'm know I'm not." He snorted.

"How do you know? … Not the marrying type?" She teased him.

"Do I seem like marriage material?" He snorted. "You wanna take me home to ma?"

She laughed at his self-depreciating humor. She had to admit it was funny.

Then she took back the knife and tried and tried and tried. But she really was no good at peeling and she kept getting tiny peels and at best could make a C. She couldn't even make an O with her curls, they were just too short.

Harvey wanted his knife back, but didn't ask. He ate the dirty skin and let her have fun.

* * *

Somehow, despite all efforts to the contrary, the boys had gotten split up…

Ally now found himself in deep conversation with a daisy. Each patch of flowers was symbolically represented by a pretty lady dressed accordingly. The daisies had a pretty daisy girl amongst them.

"But where are your petals?" She insisted. She was intoxicating.

Ally was smiling. "I told you. I'm NOT a flower."

"Then what are you?"

"An animal. Called an Ally."

"That explains why he can move about and has no leaves." The rose muttered. The girl's dress was absolutely stunning.

"You are a very small animal." The daisy was skeptical.

"I shrunk!" Ally insisted.

"Uh-huh…" The daisy was more skeptical still.

"No really."

"He's more like an insect!" A violet called out from below. She was tiny child.

"Oh, trust me, I've seen insects around here." Ally boasted. "I'm an animal."

"I suspected." The tiger lily spoke arrogantly. "He is not beautiful like a flower."

Ally frowned. "Um… have you ladies seen my friends?"

"There are more of you creepy crawlies lurking about?" The daisy was displeased.

"Wow. I thought flowers would be gracious." Ally muttered.

"Excuse me?" The tiger lily gasped indignantly. Her makeup was very orange.

"You started it!" Knox declared.

* * *

Alfred greeted Tim Drake at the front door. Tim dropped his suitcase and gave Alfred a huge hug.

Tim then bounced up the stairs. He was hoping to find Bruce in his study. Nope.

He ran back to the top of the stairs. "Is Bruce out? I need to see him."

* * *

Batman was up to his eyes in files in a room of filing cabinets. He was an amazing multitasker and he just hadn't been able to let it go. His instincts told him he needed to check into this sketchy park.

Suddenly, Barbara's voice was in his ear. "Where are you?"

"I was right. This paperwork doesn't check out at all."

"What do you mean?"

"I went to the Wonderland site. The stuff within the park is all still under construction. Only what is visible from the outside is actually finished and functional. No one is here. The place is completely deserted. And the paperwork is all just superficial."

"But that doesn't make any sense… Tim called several times… And Alfred said Tim is home now safe and sound!"

"We need to take Tim and the other delegates into custody and figure this out."

"Ok."

"And I need you to run a name for me. Rick Robbins."

"How come?"

"The paper trail leads back to one name over and over again. Rick Robbins."

"Ok. I'll look him up right now."

"Good. I'm going to contact Gordon. We're going to need help to reach all the delegates as quickly as possible. Something is obviously wrong with them. This has the potential to get very ugly."

* * *

Jervis sat in a comfortable armchair, clicking through the television channels. And then he saw the six o'clock news.

Summer Gleeson was beaming about her grand time at… ummm…

"Are these people TRYING to set me off?" He hissed, turning off the tv abruptly.

Jervis held his head in his hands for a frustrated moment and then turned to his social worker. "I'm finished with television for today. Could I please go outside? It is lovely out and I need to clear my head."

"Sure." The caregiver stood and motioned for two others to accompany Jervis out into the backyard.

The three went outside and Jervis sat down in a rocking chair by a rosebush. The sun was warm and bright and he thought he would take a nap and forget about that bizarre park that someone had insensitively dreamed up…

And then he realized it was too quiet. He sat up and looked around.

His social workers were gone. He was alone.

"Um… Rob? … Jerry?"

No answer.

He wasn't generally left alone. He was suddenly very nervous. Something was wrong.

And then something hard cracked him on the back of the skull.

* * *

Bruce unexpectedly received a call.

"Master Bruce… Something's wrong…" Alfred sounded very ill. And frightened.

And then the line went dead.

Unexpectedly another call patched through from the same phone line.

"Alfred?" Bruce was extremely concerned.

"No, it's Tim! Where are you?"

"Is Alfred alright?"

"Of course. He's fine. Why?"

Bruce wasn't an idiot. "No reason. I'll be home soon."

"Good. I need to talk to you."

"I'll bet." Bruce tried to sound normal, but his gaze had narrowed.

He immediately patched into the cameras at Wayne Manor to see what was happening.

* * *

Jervis woke up in a familiar little chamber…

"AH!" He jumped, very startled.

The Joker was pressed against the glace staring at him like a loon.

"Hatter!" Jack smiled affectionately. "You're awake. Oh good. It would be a pity to send you to Wonderland without biding you farewell…"

Jervis was pissed. "What's the meaning of this?"

"You don't recognize these chambers, Jervis?" Edward walked smoothly out from the shadows, his smirk and voice laced with false charm. He'd always had a flare for that kind of thing.

"Of course, I do." Jervis now suddenly did. "I designed them."

"Yes, you did. And we stole your blue prints and now we're stealing you." Jack smiled.

"The virus." Hatter frowned.

"Oh ya. It's already spreading." Edward grinned. "A brilliant idea. Glad we could lift it."

"You really shouldn't leave that kinda stuff lying around, you know…" Joker twirled, speaking in a sing-song voice.

"Why do you need me?" Hatter was confused. "You`ve obviously successfully launched the plan on your own. Why kidnap me?"

"One – you might know a way to stop your own plan. Two – Once you're under our control, we're letting YOU take the fall." Ed spoke simply.

Joker frowned. "Ed, what did I say about revealing too much."

Edward said nothing.

"I said, I LOVE IT!" Joker punched him hard in the stomach. He buckled.

Joker whipped around on Hatter. "Oh, don't give me that look…" He cooed. "You know you could never stay angry with me…"

Hatter sighed. "I should have known better. This isn't the first time you've stolen my technology. Or attacked me with it."

"Ya, some people just never learn." Joker whispered, motioning to Edward and winking.

Hatter realized what he meant, but said nothing. Screw Riddler.

"Well, later days!" Jack turned on the pod and Hatter felt as though he were burning.

Edward stood up, dazed. The wind had been knocked out of him.

"You know, Eddie… I just LOVE working with you." Jack grinned. "But all good things must come to an end! I don`t need your brains anymore, bud. "

And Joker unexpectedly slammed Edward into one of the pods.

"Oh… you son of a bitch…" Ed glared dangerously from the other side of the glass.

"Ooooh! " Joker teased mercilessly. "As sexy as I find that talk, Eddie, this moment was inevitable. Let the chaos begin! This plan is now on autopilot!"

Edward`s teeth were gritted together so hard it hurt. His fists were clenched and he was trembling with rage. And then it passed. It was useless. There was no point slamming violently around the chamber like a lunatic. It was over already.

Instead, he sighed, leaning his forehead against the glass with his eyes closed.

"Awww… Eddie… You know I adore you. But I think I've outgrown you. I think we're headed in different directions. We should see other people."

"Why do I never learn?" Ed asked, sounding melancholy.

"Because you want to fail, of course. That's why you leave clues to get yourself caught. That's why you repeatedly team up with people who could kill you or betray you or throw you in jail. Coz deep down you know you want to fail. You want to be caught."

Edward said nothing. His forehead against the glass, he looked like he had a headache.

"And that's why I love working with you. Coz I have no desire to achieve anything in particular either."

"I probably left clues to implicate us. You do realize that, right?" Eddie sighed.

"Oh, I'm counting on it." The Joker grinned darkly and pushed the button.

And then he walked merrily out of the room, calling over his shoulder. "Later, Riddles!"

The heat started. Edward stood up and pulled a pen out of his pocket. He began writing something on his hand quickly and calmly.

He got several sentences down before the pen fell from his hand.

* * *

Montoya heard a car outside and peeked through the curtains. Sure enough, Bullock's car was parked out front. Right on schedule. She called for Rusty.

But the little dog had heard the car and was already at the front door with his tail wagging.

After a moment, there was a knock and Montoya picked up Rusty and opened the door.

"Hey!" Bullock smiled. He seemed unnaturally friendly.

"Hey yourself…" She answered uncertainly.

She handed the detective his dog and Harvey allowed the little guy to lick his face. "Heya, buddy. Good to see you too."

He turned his attention to his coworker. "I hope he wasn't a pain in the ass. Did he yap?"

"No, no. You keep worrying about it, but he was fine."

"Well… I really appreciated you doing it. I'm not use to asking for personal favours…"

He took her wrist unexpectedly as he spoke. This surprised her. And then he held it for too long… What on earth?

Oh God. Was he crushing on her suddenly? What was with this personal touching?

She didn't pull her wrist away. She didn't want to hurt his feelings. Women were disgusted by him day in and day out. She was probably his only female friend on the planet. She could AT LEAST try to be nice about it.

He smiled at her and gave wrist a squeeze.

With that, he turned and said: "Thanks again. Have a good night."

"You too." She said uncertainly and then closed the door.

Within a few hours she wouldn't be herself anymore.

* * *

"Hey, only one Rick Robbins is coming up. And I've been searching for twice as long as I usually do. I think this must be him. But it doesn't really make sense."

"I expected there to be NO Rick Robbins." Bruce was truthful.

"Well, there's a Rick Robbins who just graduated from Gotham University from the social sciences program. He is starting a Masters in social work. Currently works at a group home within the city limits called Pinecrest."

"No, that does make sense." Batman frowned.

"Why?" She was confused.

"Hatter was moved to Pinecrest."

"OH." Batgirl frowned. "I see."

"Let`s meet at Pinecrest. I patched into the cameras. Tim and Alfred are alright for now. We need to get to Hatter."

* * *

Edward woke up smelling the sea. As his vision came into focus, he saw a pen in the sand. Immediately, the sight of the pen triggered his memory.

He heard loud crying somewhere to his right and didn`t dare look over.

Instead, he snagged the pen and finished writing on his hand.

The message read:

_My name is Edward Nygma, the Riddler. From Gotham City. Joker has trapped me in my own mind. This is a dream. This is not real. I must remember who I am and find the Mad Hatter. I must wake him up and figure out how to escape._

"There." He announced, tucking the pen away. He needed to keep reading that message.

The crying to his right continued. He couldn`t resist glancing over there.

* * *

Bullock reached into his pocket absentmindedly and then was shocked.

He pulled out a wallet. It had never occurred to him to check for one. He'd sorta forgotten they existed.

He started checking all his pockets. He found a toothpick.

"EWW!" Summer made a face.

"It's clean!" Bullock was defensive.

"Sure it is." She frowned. Then she said – "Try for an inside pocket."

Sure enough Bullock found his police badge in his inside pocket. "I am a cop."

Summer opened the wallet and Bullock snatched it from her.

He opened it and read aloud: "Harvey Bullock…. Eesh… Don`t like it."

Summer stifled a laugh. "We don`t like our own names."

What else was in here? He started going through two dozen cards that revealed a lot about his life. Or at least the stores he frequented and other little tidbits of information like that. Nothing actually helpful.

"Triggering any memories?" she ventured.

"Nah…Very little cash… I should use these gift cards…"

Summer was looking at his badge. "Bullock, eh?"

"_You're lucky I talk to you at all, Bullock."_

The memory was fast and partial, but it made her uncomfortable. She stopped talking.

They sat in silence for a long while as the detective went through his cards.

"Say… do you hear water running?" He looked up, sounding hopeful.

"No." She said flatly. "I would have said-"

"SHH!" he hissed, irritated. "Over there."

He stood up and walked over the next hill. His eyes widened and he said:

"Summer! Come look!"

She froze. Summer?

She hurried over to him and saw what he saw. An enormous, beautiful garden.

* * *

The group home was abuzz with gossip. Hatter had attacked Rob and Jerry outside. He hadn't tried to escape or anything, but he'd attacked them. Witnesses said he had just been provoked by seeing the new Wonderland theme park on television.

Rick was leaving the building, heading for his car. He was nervous about bringing Jervis his pills the next shift. What if he got violent again?

He was saddened at the thought. He'd been working very, very closely with Tetch over the last six months and had grown a little found of the tenant. It saddened him to think that the mild mannered man could have a relapse and hurt people he was generally friendly with. Oh man.

And then he realized he wasn't alone. A shadow passed over him and he was afraid.

Batman grabbed him. "You've worked closely with Jervis Tetch for months now. Very closely."

"Y-y-yes…" Rick stammered, his eyes wide and his face pale.

"All the paperwork for the Wonderland theme park is in your name. WHY?"

Rick was clearly shocked. "I-I-I didn't know!"

"Does Tetch have access to your personnel file? To any of your personal information?"

A look of realization crossed Rick's face. "If he snuck into the offices he would. Into all the administrative stuff. They have all my info on file."

"Has Hatter been behaving normally?"

"Ya, well, until today. He got violent today. Assaulted two staff guys coz of that Wonderland park."

Batman released him and was suddenly gone.

* * *

Tim wandered around the garden calling for Ally and Arthur. How the hell had they gotten separated? This wasn't supposed to happen.

And then he saw Ally slumbering in a patch of violets. Oh great.

"THANKS, ALLY." He was sarcastic. "You`re such a team player."

Tim set about trying to wake the reporter up and realized that he couldn't. Punching, kicking, biting and hitting didn't seem to be as effective as stabbing or burning. And he had no flame or weapon. Reeves had the flame.

"REEVES!" Tim called loudly, not wanting to let Ally out of his sight. It had been hard enough to find him the first time. "REEVES!"

Wonderful. Just freaking perfect. ERR…

* * *

Arthur was walking briskly around the garden refusing to look at anything. There was no way he was getting sucked in. He was the responsible adult after all. Tim and Ally were probably trapped somewhere again… He needed to find them and rescue them…jeez…

"Why don't they ever listen to me?" he whispered fiercely. "It's like they don't want to survive or something. GRR!"

Arthur was having trouble not taking in the beautiful flowers. He secretly had a green thumb and he loved flowers. But he wasn't about to admit that to anyone. His favourite flowers were-

Pansies. He froze. Dozens of different colours of pansies all together in a patch.

"Hello…" The most beautiful woman he had ever seen, decked out in a stunning pansy theme, was smiling at him.

He couldn't move. He just stared at her and was absolutely entranced.

* * *

"REEVES!" Tim shouted. "Damn it."

He looked back at Ally. He decided to check Ally's pockets for a lighter or a knife.

And then the ground began to shake.

He looked up and saw giant shoes coming at him.

"AHH!" He dove into the violet patch with Ally.

"Did you hear that?" Bullock froze, looking down, not wanting to stop on anyone.

"No. Come on! There's water!"

The two raced over to the fountain, Tim and Ally bouncing around the violet patch as the ground shook severely.

* * *

Batman and Batgirl entered Tetch's room as silent as cats. The room was poorly lit, but they could see Jervis Tetch sitting in his chair smirking a dangerous smirk. His head was tilted downward and his eyes were covered by blonde bangs. He looked particularly wicked.

He looked up, the smirk widening smugly.

"I was wondering when you'd show up. Like my new theme park?"

* * *

As the police removed a handcuffed Jervis Tetch from the group home he had actually liked, the man was still smirking confidently. The staff cleared a path and watched him being taken away. No one spoke. A few of them felt betrayed. They had been good to him. Probably better than they should have been.

Rick, standing on the sidelines, looked particularly sad. This hurt somehow.

Hatter turned to him as he passed: "Sorry to steal your identity, Rick. I didn't realize you'd be so good to me. I'll be sure the police know you had no part in this."

Rick couldn't speak. He just sort of nodded.

As the door slammed on the police cruiser, Batgirl turned to Batman from their hiding place above. "That was too weird. Doesn't seem right."

"This isn't over." Batman agreed.

"But the trail ends here." Barbara frowned.

"I doubt it." Batman glided away.

* * *

**Note: More characters next chapter. And maybe even the tea party, we shall see how it comes out… **


	6. Can You See Me?

**Chapter 6: Can You See Me?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from **_**Batman: The Animated Series**_**, **_**Batman: Mask of the Phantasm**_** or ****the Wonderland books. **

**

* * *

**

Restricted to the computers of the car and motorcycle was somewhat restricting their investigation, but they didn't have a choice.

It had become clear when Bruce reviewed the house cameras that this was NOT over. It was just beginning. No wonder Hatter had surrendered so easily. He knew things were safely in motion. He knew his plan was already at work and that it was likely too late to stop it!

He showed Barbara the footage and she gasped.

Alfred was folding laundry… and then just suddenly dropped, sick as hell. He then tried to call Bruce for help… and passed out. After sleeping for a while, he suddenly stood up and started folding laundry again as though nothing had happened.

"What?" She gasped.

"And then watch this…" He fast forwarded to show her a scene of Alfred touching the maid. She looked confused and upset.

He continued to fast forward and showed the maid having a similar spell. She suddenly became very ill and feverish and then collapsed into a deep sleep. Later on, she stood up and carried about her work as though nothing was wrong with her anymore.

"It's spreading. " Barbara frowned. "This is really serious."

"And who knows who has been infected already. It leaves no outward indication. These people seem perfectly normal."

"It seems to need skin-to-skin contact."

"So keep your skin covered. "

"What did my dad say about all the other delegates? We need to warn him not to touch them."

"Gordon hasn't been answering. I suspect they've already gotten him. In sending those police officers to those delegates, we contaminated them."

He could envision police officers showing up at Arthur Reeves' door. Reeves would smile and talk the talk, casually touching them… And suddenly all would be forgotten. They weren't after him. No, no. They were doing something else. RIGHT. _Have a pleasant day, councilman._

Bruce's face darkened as he played out the scene in his mind.

Barbara looked out the window, naturally upset. Tim, Alfred... now her dad. What did this virus do to people exactly?

"Even IF I'm wrong… Bullock will have infected many other officers by now." Batman informed her. "So, either way, the police force is compromised. Reeves will have infected the government. Knox and Gleeson have infected the media. No one can be trusted. We're on our own."

Barbara swallowed. The delegates had been carefully selected. Tim was to infect the elite.

* * *

Tim climbed out of the violet patch empty handed. Ally had lost his jacket long before the adventure started and his pants pockets were empty, save his wallet. Which didn't have anything useful in it.

He was going to have to abandon Knox to find Reeves. He looked around and tried to pick out a few noticeable landmarks to find his way back and then sprinted away shouting – "REEVES!"

* * *

Bullock looked around, sure he had heard something. And yet, not so sure… this place was weird like that… hm…

"I love lilacs!" Summer motioned to the lilacs around the fountain.

He liked lilacs too, but he wasn't about to admit it. "Can we focus here?" He growled.

"Right. What do we do now?"

"REEVES!" a tiny little creature shouted, running along the cobblestone.

They looked at each other, wide eyed.

* * *

Tim found Arthur, lying amongst the pansies, his head in the lap of a beautiful young woman dressed colourfully. She was running her hands through his black hair. His eyes were closed and he was actually smiling a very natural smile. He actually looked relaxed. _Weird. _

"Reeves! I've found you!"

Arthur didn't pay much attention, he was dozing off.

"Hey! JERK FACE!"

"Go away, kid." Arthur sighed.

"Reeves! Don't fall asleep! I need your lighter!"

"SHH!" The beauty urged, smiling and winking at Tim.

"Playtime's over, lover boy!" Tim leapt into the pansy patch and started grabbing at Arthur's clothing. He knew the guy had a lighter on him somewhere.

"Hey! Kid! Screw off!" Arthur was very agitated.

"Snap out of it! I thought you were going to AVOID the characters here, not fall for them!"

"Let go of me!" Arthur snapped.

Tim felt the jackknife and pulled it out, opening the blade. "SORRY." And with that, he jabbed the councilman in a relatively harmless manner.

"OWW!" Arthur jumped up. "You little bastard!" He tried to grab Tim.

"Oh, the _language_... Classy..." Tim sprang away, mocking the man for his words earlier.

Reeves grimaced and touched the small bleeding hole in his dress shirt. It wasn't serious, it just hurt. "Ow."

"I had to!" Tim spat defensively. "You were all stupid and seduced."

"Seduced!" Arthur spat back and then looked to see the beautiful pansy nymph. "Oh… well…"

"Save it. We've got to rescue Ally. He's back over here."

They hurried back to the violet patch and found Knox was still there, fast asleep.

"Ok. Burn him." Tim instructed.

Arthur glared at the boy and then grabbed Knox's arm-

"AHH!" Ally sat up.

Arthur unexpectedly kicked him in the side. "Get your ass up." He was uncharacteristically angry.

"He's just grumpy coz I broke up his little love-"

"SHUT UP!" Arthur snapped with an unusual level of hostility. He was just vicious now. Jeez.

"You shouldn't have kicked him! It was totally unnecessary!"

"Relax! I'm cool!" Ally Knox said in a sing-song voice. But they weren't listening to him.

They were both seriously ticked off:

"You-"

"No, YOU-"

"WHAT THE HELL?" A voice came from above. All three boys looked up and saw Detective Bullock standing over them, looking down.

"Three little elves are bickering." Summer learned forward, fascinated.

"Elves are bigger." Bullock rolled his eyes as if she was clueless. "Don't you watch TV?"

"Sounds like you watch too much." Tim teased. He was very happy to see Bullock.

"LOOKS like he watches too much." Arthur muttered, still in a _very_ pissy mood. He was really sick of this crap.

"We found them!" Ally piped up. "We found them after all!"

Arthur blinked at him. "You understand what's happening?"

"You two are actually together." Tim called up. "That saves us a lot of trouble."

"They seem to know us." Summer whispered.

"We DO know you!" Tim shouted. He turned to Arthur, "You have to burn them."

"What the hell?" Bullock didn't like the sound of that.

Arthur sighed to try to ditch his temper. Then with as much patience as he could muster, he explained, "We all came here together. I'm Arthur Reeves. This is Tim Drake. This is Ally Knox. You're Harvey Bullock and she is Summer Gleeson. This is some sort of illusion we're all trapped in. Your memories will be messed up."

"You were right. My name IS Summer." Gleeson turned to Bullock.

"Burning would be much faster than explaining." Tim muttered.

"We're too small." Reeves hissed. "It wouldn't hurt enough."

Tim sighed. "Look, Bullock, just help us grow big again. We need to eat something. Like a mushroom."

"Well…" Bullock glanced around. Then he saw a very tiny mushroom nearby. It was all white. "Maybe this random one will work. Not gonna lie though… Looks kinda poisonous…"

"Let's NOT eat random things here." Arthur interjected very quickly.

"Hopefully it won't make us shrink MORE." Ally was thoughtful. "I'd hate to go out like a candle."

Arthur pictured that. It was a powerful image. He cleared his throat: "For once, I agree with Knox. It is way too risky!"

"He's a coward." Tim explained to Bullock simply.

Reeves scowled. "We shouldn't experiment with random mushrooms!"

"We can't stay small like this. We'll never get out of here!" Tim insisted.

"Well, are you eating it or not?" Bullock was impatient.

"The book said one side makes a person grow and the other side makes them shrink." Ally recalled.

"So… we don't want to accidentally eat the shrink side..." Tim frowned. Suddenly uneasy.

"Uh-huh…" Arthur had that smug tone of his. "Let's not and say we did…"

"50/50 chance." Bullock didn't like those odds.

"Well, you could each try a different section." Summer suggested.

"That's dumb. Then someone's doomed for sure." Bullock was rude.

"We could flip a coin!" Ally suggested. "I call heads! Heads wins more often."

"We haven't even decided what HEADS represents." Tim frowned. "Do you WANT to eat it?"

"It would make more sense to draw straws." Summer suggested. "One person takes the risk."

"I never thought I'd be standing in a garden of talking flowers with you random people fighting over a magic mushroom." Arthur sounded miserable. "How did it come to this?"

"Oh, screw it." Tim ripped a chunk off the mushroom and took a TINY bite.

"A tiny bit will just let us see which direction-" But before he could finish his sentence, he had returned to his normal height.

"OK, I'm taking from the same section." Arthur announced, taking a tiny bite. He grew to his normal size and was very relieved. "Thanks for being the guinea pig, kid."

"Well, you weren't gonna do it." Tim snorted, annoyed.

Ally took an enormous bite out of the mushroom and suddenly grew to be as tall as the tree tops.

"UH OH…" He looked back down at them.

"Great." Bullock slapped his forehead. "Just GREAT."

"Nice work, Knox…" Arthur called up caustically. "Truly inspired."

"Well, he needs to try the other side of the mushroom now." Summer insisted.

"There isn't much left." Bullock showed her the little that remained.

And that's when a bird started going nuts. "SERPENT! SERPENT!"

The bird was swooping at Ally and pecking at his head and it hurt. "OW!" he cried out. "OW!"

"SERPENT! SERPENT!"

"Oh, Ally - you always drop the ball!" Tim Drake hissed. This sucked.

The bird continued to flip out, squawking and swooping about. It was extremely _annoying_.

"I hate the world…" Arthur sighed, covering his face.

"You said it." Bullock muttered.

* * *

Bruce and Barbara were in the batmobile, zooming down the street at top speed.

Suddenly, a black and white truck blocked their path. Hitting the breaks, Bruce just avoided collision.

"Two Face." He said grimly.

"Hopefully he isn't infected." Barbara frowned.

"Well, the fact that he's openly confronted us like this suggests otherwise."

"Let's stay in the car and reverse." Barbara suggested, seeing Bruce wasn't reacting.

"No, this could be a chance to study the virus. I'm going to try for a blood sample. Cover any exposed skin! Knock him unconscious."

They opened the roof and sprang out, ready for action.

Clayface slide out of the passenger side of the truck. A man whose skin was completely covered, with dark shades over his eyes, climbed out of the driver's side.

"Are you infected?" A familiar voice barked. It really was Two Face.

Batman was taken aback by this. They seemed to know exactly what was going on!

"You know about this thing that's spreading!" Barbara vocalized this surprise.

"Poison Ivy started coming 'round… real suspicious like… trying to touch big shots… And anyone she did touch started randomly giving all their money and valuables away to someone. I dunno who. Transferring all their money out of their bank accounts. Gathering up all their assets and taking them somewhere. It's not really clear what's going on. All I know is that you can't get touched by anyone who has been touched. Or you aren't your own master anymore. Get what I mean? Someone controls you. It's pretty clear."

"Why are you coming to me?" Batman glared.

Two Face chuckled. "Coz somebody's gotta stop this thing. It's spreading out of control. And you're the guy that stops stuff like this."

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend." Clayface added gravely.

"You aren't able to contract the virus, are you?" Barbara asked the clay creature.

"Seems that way. Not having skin may mean I have to save the day." Clayface smirked.

"Well… We don't have any definitive answers." Batman wasn't sure how to proceed. He didn't like the idea of working with super villains. They could not be trusted on any level. They wanted him dead as much as they wanted the virus stopped. AND he had no way to know they weren't actually infected and just deceiving him to infect him. Tim was trying to deceive them, after all. "Just lay low and don't let anyone touch your skin."

"OH, real helpful, Batman." Two Face removed his shades. "We KNOW that. We've been DOING that. It isn't going to save us from this thing. We need a plan. We need to take action."

"For all we know, you're contaminated already. The virus is designed to deceive."

He hopped back into the Batmobile and Barbara followed suit.

He added, "If you actually want to help, try to determine where people are taking their assets. That will likely prove the key to this thing. Leave the information for me under that mailbox over there. But otherwise, lay low and trust absolutely NO ONE."

With that, the lid closed and the vehicle roared away loudly.

"Give me a break!" Clayface snarled.

"I really hate that guy." Two Face agreed.

* * *

"BEAUUUUUTIFUL SOOOOOOUP! Beautiful, beautiful, soup!" A mock turtle was singing.

"Why me?" Edward held his head in his hands.

"Beautiful soup of the E-e-eeeeevening! Beautiful, beautiful sooooooup!"

Edward sighed. "Ok, this is getting old. Good luck with your soup singing, pal." And with that he stood up and walked away from the turtle and the gryphon.

Then he stopped and turned around. "I designed you to be friendly." He spoke plainly to the gryphon. "Any chance you'd give me a ride?"

"Ummm…" The gryphon was completely surprised.

"Beautiful soup of the e-e-eeeevening!" The turtle sang tearfully.

"Oh, come on…" Edward smile charismatically. "It's better than sitting around listening to this for all eternity. Am I right?"

* * *

"SERPENT! SERPENT!" the bird was pecking at the reporter relentlessly.

"OW! It hurts." Ally was trying to reach for the mushroom bits. "It hurts!"

"Careful… careful…" Bullock didn't want to lose his hand.

"No, no, no!" Summer couldn't stand to watch. "Ally – hold out your hand and let him put it in your palm. Your going to squish him. I can't bare it."

"You can't bare anything. Your anxiety is unreal." Arthur sighed.

Summer gave him the glare of death.

"Aww, I'm touched by your concern, Gleeson." Bullock smirked, handing over the mushroom.

Ally ate what little there was. It wasn't enough, but because Ally believed it was enough it actually worked. He returned to his normal size.

"That was AWESOME!" He declared loudly.

"Getting pecked to death was awesome?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"You hated it." Tim snorted, reminding him.

"He doesn't seem himself." Summer frowned. She was just realizing that Ally was _off._

"Ya. For some reason we can't snap him out of the spell." Tim shared this frown.

"Yes, he's permanently this way now. Lucky us, eh?" Arthur sighed, sounding tired.

"Let's tackle one problem at a time." Bullock grumbled. "How do we get out of here?"

"Well, now that we're all together, we've got to STAY together and keep each other lucid until a solution presents itself. Hopefully someone in the real world will figure out what's going on and rescue us. Coz I doubt there is a way to escape from inside this thing." Arthur sounded very, very tired of this.

And he was tired. How many times did they have to lose each other and forget everything and find each other and remember everything and then come to the same hopeless conclusion… only to repeat the cycle all over again… and then again… It was maddening.

* * *

Ivy was sipping tea with a crown on her head. She was sitting between the red queen and the white queen.

Now, this was her idea of a DREAM… Queen Ivy!

She sipped her tea, a pretty smirk on her face. Then she turned to the red queen, "What beautiful weather-"

"Speak when spoken to!" The red queen snapped rudely.

Ivy laughed. "If everyone followed that rule no one would speak at all."

They sat in silence for a moment and then the red queen muttered about her: "A nasty, vicious temper."

Ivy was surprised. An awkward silence followed for several more minutes.

"I invite you to Ivy's dinner-party this afternoon. " The red queen spoke stiffly to the white queen.

"And invite you." The white queen responded.

"I didn't realize I was having a-"

"You don't realize much." The red queen snapped.

Ivy chose to ignore that remark. She decided to be gracious. This dream was supposed to be pleasant and she was allowing this chess piece to ruin it.

"Well, I suppose queens must always host dinner parties." She replied.

"Who said you were a queen?" The white queen was confused.

"Well… I…" Ivy was confused suddenly too. She was wearing a crown. She felt like a queen in this scene.

"You haven't passed the proper examination." The red queen scolded harshly.

* * *

Edward wandered along a cobblestone path, tired and hungry. He hadn't realized the gryphon was designed only for the parameters of that scene. They had flown around the area in circles for several moments, getting dizzy, until he convinced the stupid thing to let him down.

"Memo to self…" He spoke to no one in particular. "When designing this sort of nightmare program in the future, include a secret shut down password in case I get trapped inside."

DUH. He always forgot to do that! This wasn't the first time someone had turned his work against him. It was like he really actually DID want to be caught. GRRR… That stupid clown thought he knew everything! Damn it.

And then he heard voices coming down the path.

He recognized the detective and Wayne's boy right away. Their _delegates _selected to launch the virus. They were approaching quickly.

He darted into the bush and watched them pass.

"I have NO idea how this keeps happening." Tim sounded miserable. "Every time I turn around, the scene's changing and we're losing people…"

"Designed to keep us on our toes." Bullock muttered.

Once they were safely past, Ed removed his hat, mask and tie. He went over to a nearby stream and began mussing up his hair. He unbuttoned his green jacket to look less formal. He should probably ditch the jacket all together, but he just didn't want to. Some scenes were COLD.

There. Hopefully he wasn't so dreadfully recognizable now. The last thing he needed was the other trapped minds turning on him as well. He had enough to worry about with the program itself.

* * *

In trying to drum up information as to where all the loot was going… Batman had gotten just a tiny bit _sidetracked_…

SLASH! SLASH! SLASH! Holy crap she was fast! He just kept jumping and jumping for his life!

Calendar Girl was pretty deadly with a scythe and so the vigilante had to stay clear with every step. She wielded that thing with lightning speed and ferocity.

Batman saw an opening and he took it, kicking her in the face and disarming her, simultaneously. But she sprang like a cat and he was unable to immobilize her.

She was whirling like a top, blocking and striking, blocking and striking. She was trained in martial arts and she was now really ANGRY.

He managed to grab her ankle for a second, but she broke free.

Adrenaline pumping, she kept whirling and whirling as though in blind rage, only with deadly accuracy.

And then they heard a car screech onto the scene. Bullock and Montoya climbed out of a police cruiser, guns drawn. Someone must have reported this brawl. It was in the middle of an intersection, after all.

GREAT. That's the last thing Batman needed. Assistants he knew were contaminated with the virus.

"FREEZE, Monroe!" Bullock snapped.

Paige Monroe, guns pointed at her torso, immediately stopped. She stood staring at Bullock. Her white mask was so creepy, the eyes dark empty sockets. Her dark hair was long and striking. He suddenly felt his nerve waver a touch, feeling self-conscious under her gaze.

Batman hesitated in an uncharacteristic manner. He should have whipped out a cord, tying up the fugitive. And yet… He wasn't sure what to do with her. She didn't seem to have the virus. She was still very much fixated on her own plans pre-virus. Handing Monroe over to the authorities would contaminate her. He would be giving her the virus!

Bullock and Montoya weren't waiting for him to make up his mind. They were slowly advancing on her, guns never wavering.

He knew he had to hand her over to the police. There were more important things to worry about right now. Much more important things at stake. Everyone was getting the virus anyway. He needed to focus on finding an overall cure for everyone – not going against the police or babysitting Monroe. Choose your battles!

Besides, she MIGHT have the virus already. Bullock and Montoya were still functioning and doing their jobs. It was so difficult to deal with this virus. It was not easily recognized. Really, unless he saw someone carrying bags of money through the streets like a zombie… how could he tell?

His moment of distraction and hesitation was sensed by Monroe and she took a chance. Lunging straight up in the air, she sprang off the lamppost and flipped over a nearby roof top and was out of sight.

Montoya fired, but Bullock did not. She wasn't shooting to kill; she was trying to immobilize the girl.

"Why didn't you fire?" Montoya snarled. "She's too beautiful? ERR!" She wanted to smack him.

Batman had already sprung onto the roof in pursuit. Montoya started in one direction and Bullock in the other. It was an unspoken thing. They had all tailed villains together to many times not to just react.

Calendar Girl bounced from roof to roof, finding herself getting winded already. She didn't usually have to try so hard. Few people had Batman's skill in pursuing her. He could flip and leap with the best of them.

Satisfied she'd lost the caped crusader, she jumped down the side of a building.

Right into Bullock's arms. And he was ticked.

Not wanting to have to punch her, her twisted her arm backwards immediately into an unnatural angle that hurt like HELL. She cried out in pain and struggled, but every time she struggled the pain shot right to her brain. She had to surrender. She had to stop struggling. It just hurt too much.

"Thought you'd pull a fast one, huh?" He tightened his grip on her. It really hurt.

Removing her mask was totally unnecessary. He'd done it before and he knew how much it tortured her. She had screamed like someone was murdering her, literally stabbing her. It was an AWFUL scream.

_Exposed, she screamed like she was being burned alive. _

_He suddenly felt like he'd ripped off her clothes instead of her mask. What the hell?_

_She whipped her face away instantly, screaming –"NOOOOO! DON'T LOOK AT ME, PLEASE!" _

_She whirled around and down, falling to her knees and bawling loudly. He could still see her face, though. Though she was trying to hide it, sobbing and clutching at it, he could see a reflection of it in a large shard of glass._

_She was still beautiful. Despite what went on in her head, she was a still a gorgeous woman._

Under normal circumstances, he would not have ripped off her mask. It was unnecessary. And it was pretty much cruel and unusual torture!

And YET… He could help himself. Her skin was covered.

So, he ripped the mask off and she SCREECHED bloody murder. She thrashed like a wild animal. He had trouble keeping hold of her. Had he let go of her hands, she probably would have clawed up her face… clawed out her eyes… OR HIS… eesh…

"Hey, hey, hey!" He struggled. This lady was messed up!

But for some reason he needed to touch her face. And so he grabbed her by the chin and turned her face towards him.

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen up. YOU'RE – NOT – UGLY."

And then he tossed her face away roughly.

She started to cry and he felt like crap. Why had he done that? It was beyond his typical jerk behaviour. A guy could get in trouble for handling a female prisoner like that. Eesh. It had been totally unnecessary.

Why was he so touchy lately? JEEZ…

He'd always wanted to say that to her, but he didn't need to TOUCH her to do so. Oy…

Batman landed. "Bullock! Don't touch her!" But he could see it was already too late. Her face was exposed.

If she didn't have the virus, she had it now.

"Who do you think I am?" Bullock was naturally offended. He misunderstood the statement. He already felt guilty about messing with Paige, so hearing somebody accuse him of touching her inappropriately stung more than it usually would.

Batman approached.

"Nevermind, Bats. I got her. Take off. I'm sure you have other people to annoy tonight." He handcuffed Monroe and started walking with her.

"Actually, I need a sample of your blood."

"Wha-"

He knocked the detective unconscious. Monroe hit the ground as well. In a flash, a cord wrapped her ankles up and she couldn't stand on her own. She was too distraught about her face, however, to really be considering escape.

Batman took Bullock's arm and took two blood samples. Just to be safe.

He tucked the samples away and took off into the shadows. Montoya was nearby. She'd handle this.

However, the instant he was off site, Monroe began worming towards Bullock. She was upset, but she wasn't STUPID. Using her teeth, she pulled back Harvey's jacket and, sure enough, there were keys on his belt. She wouldn't be able to get them off, but she could at least… hmmm… This was REALLY tricky…

She put her wrists up to his belt and wormed around a minute.

She began to seriously doubt if she could do this before the other cop showed up. She already thought she could hear boots on the pavement. But she really didn't want to go back to Arkham.

And then there was a click. In a second, she had her ankles free. She snatched her mask from the damp ground and sprang into the air.

Montoya rounded the bend just in time to see her scale the side of a building and disappear.

She saw her partner lying on the ground out cold and rushed forward. Where was Batman? Monroe had obviously just defeated Harvey. Batman generally didn't allow this sort of thing.

* * *

Batgirl did cartwheel after cartwheel dodging icy bolts that meant sudden death.

She was clearly also sidetracked!

Mr. Freeze, cornered on his own, wasn't going down without some serious fight.

Mid-cartwheel, Barbara let a batarang fly and cut down a chandelier that was directly over his head. It came down on top of him as predicted. The deadly freeze gun slipped across the now icy floor.

A long, strong cord flew across the room and wrapped around the man, ripping him out from under the chandelier before he had a chance to move.

She immediately radioed: "Cancel that backup. I got him on my own."

Bruce's voice was in her ear: "Grill him. "

Batgirl stood and walked over to Freeze with great confidence. "I know I don't have to worry about YOU catching this virus." She rapped softly on his helmet.

"A virus, is it?" Freeze clearly wanted info as much as she did. "I wondered why my men deserted today. The world of organized crime is on the brink of collapse. I had yet to determine why."

"Any idea who is at the center of this? There's someone people are reporting to and bringing their loot to… transferring funds to… "

"No idea. I haven't been in the loop long enough to know anything."

"Fair enough." She said and started walking away. As she left the building, sirens were approaching. Police cars screeched in front of the main entrance and she smirked. She'd just taken down Mr. Freeze all by herself. Sweet.

* * *

Arthur and Summer were finding it very challenging to keep track of Ally. He was racing all over the place like an idiot. And they'd already lost Bullock and Tim. Damn it.

Coming up on their right, they noticed a large egg sitting on a wall.

"NO WAY." They said in unison, grabbing Ally.

"Oh, come on!" The happy-go-lucky guy insisted. "It'll be AWESOME!"

"Right now you consider staring at your hand awesome." Reeves rolled his eyes. "We're not accommodating your wacko BS."

"You're going to pass up a chance to meet HUMPTY DUMPTY?" Knox was shocked.

"Damn straight." Reeves continued to yank him away.

"Ally, please. It's just a distraction and a danger. We've got to keep moving." Summer pleaded, trying to help Reeves overpower the loon.

"You'll regret this later!" Ally insisted, still struggling.

"I'll learn to live with it." Arthur said sarcastically, pulling harder.

* * *

"Soo, for all our running around tonight, we're no closer to solving this thing." Batgirl frowned.

"Well, I got our blood sample. That's crucial." Bruce informed her. "We just need to get back to the house to test it."

"Right." Barbara patched into the camera at home to see what was happening.

Tim was nowhere in sight. She checked camera after camera and still nothing.

"He's either deliberately hiding out of camera sight… or he's taken off…" She frowned, clicking around some more.

"Alfred still seems alright." Bruce noted.

"What happens if the person in control asks all the infected people: WHO IS BATMAN? Tim will answer. Maybe he is out there answering now."

Bruce's mouth revealed he hadn't actually thought of that.

He slammed the steering wheel unexpectedly. "DAMN IT, why am I being so sloppy lately?"

"Relax. We've been working on so much at once lately and this case got really serious and complicated FAST. You're only human."

"There's no excuse." He snapped, stopping the car.

"Go take down Tim. Get him home. I can dodge Alfred and test the blood alone."

"OK…" She sounded uncertain about his sudden mood.

* * *

Robin bounced through Commissioner Gordon's window. He was going to inquire about the whereabouts of his partners, touching anyone who needed to be touched while he was at it. Sitting at home was not an effective way of carrying out his subconscious mission.

His primary instructions were: INFECT BRUCE WAYNE. Then Bruce would hold the biggest, craziest party of his life and that would spread the virus to all the elites...

He'd clearly picked a bad moment. Bullock and Gordon were having an argument.

"I'm telling you, he knocked me out and took my blood, allowing Calendar Girl to escape!"

"Harvey…" Gordon had a headache. "If Batman wanted your blood, there had to be a good reason for it. He obviously knows something we don't! I'm sure he'll explain when the time is right."

"Well, if he wants to go all freaking _vampire bat _on me, he can ASK first! But NO, he knocked me out and took my blood by force, letting my prisoner escape! Ask Montoya. Calendar Girl is still at large, running around with that freaking scythe! A SCYTHE, commish! She's probably going to MURDER somebody tonight! And I had her, damn it! I HAD HER."

Then they noticed Robin.

"I need to find him." Robin took this opportunity to speak.

Gordon frowned. "Well, good luck with that, kid. If you can't find him, no one can."

"He NEEDS to be found. And put in a freaking straight jacket!" Bullock snapped.

"Chill out. If he took your blood, he had a reason." Robin shrugged. And with that he disappeared out the window, knowing they would be of no help to him.

"Why does this guy get carte blanche to do whatever the hell he wants in this town?" Bullock was angrier than usual. He slammed the door behind him as he stormed out.

* * *

Bruce was silently testing the blood before his enormous computer. One of his many little monitors was showing Alfred cooking in the kitchen. The butler clearly was showing no sign of concern that everyone had vanished for an abnormally long period of time.

Hmm… The virus definitely was recognizable in the sample. But it was totally foreign and he had no idea what sort of vaccines to start attempting to formulate. Or how to make a test to recognize the virus quickly and efficiently in others.

He needed to go to someone he could trust that was better with this sort of thing. He didn't really have time to dick around trying a trillion things while more and more people succumbed to this thing. He needed to be out there catching the culprit. He needed to hand this over to someone else!

Who did he know that could be trusted AND wouldn't be infected? He would have to leave town.

Before leaving, he snagged some more emergency rations for the car. They would soon run low out there and he took the opportunity to replenish their food and water supplies.

* * *

"Do you hear crying?" Knox stopped abruptly as if his ears were perking up.

Arthur stopped and listened and heard it. He snatched for Ally's wrist, but it was too late.

Knox ran away around some large rocks. A beach scene was forming over there.

Arthur was just SO tired of this. This place was designed to make a person exhausted and he was at the end of his rope now. He just wanted to give up. Why couldn't they just stick together and behave?

"ALLY!" Summer was also dismayed.

"Can we leave him? PLEASE?" Arthur was dead serious. He sounded like was as on a brink of cracking.

"No, we can't." She frowned.

"I'm tired of saving him!" Arthur was exasperated. "I saved him from the dodo, the mouse, the caterpillar, the garden, Humpty Dumpty… and he STILL pulls this crap! I can't take it anymore! We can't keep chasing him around from death trap to death trap, OK? Eventually we have to cut him loose!"

Summer spoke firmly. "We can't leave him behind."

There was no fight left in Arthur and he followed her over to the rocks, looking exhausted. Dark bags were forming under his eyes. He was hungry and sleepy and miserable. And he HATED Knox.

On the other side of the rocks, sitting on the beach, they saw a sobbing mock turtle.

"WONDERFUL." Arthur muttered. "You thought that squawking bird was annoying? Brace yourself for this guy."

* * *

A claw shot out of the front of the Batmobile from a safe distance and pulled the mailbox away. Though they didn't sense anything, they couldn't trust super villains.

There was nothing under the metal box. No note with information. It was a wasted effort.

"This was the dumbest plan EVER." Barbara muttered. "Why did we do this? It's not like we can trust their info anyway..."

Bruce scowled, but before he could answer, Two Face startled them by springing onto the hood of the batmobile!

"FINALLY. I've been waiting here for hours. I was starting to think you wouldn't come back."

Silence.

"OPEN UP." He knocked.

Batman pressed a button and Two Face was shot backwards onto the asphalt.

The car opened and the two vigilantes hit the street.

"Find anything out?"

Two Face snarled. "NO. People are being real secretive about where the money is going. Real inconspicuous. I haven't been able to figure anything out. BUT I do have something helpful here."

"Where's Clayface?" Barbara asked suspiciously. This sounded like a trap.

"Lost him to the virus." Two Face shrugged. "He kept swallowing infected guys when we had to fight and I guess he must have absorbed it through their skin inside him. I dunno. He got all sick and collapsed and I took the hell off. Coz trust me, when that guy wakes up, he's gonna be DANGEROUS."

"What have you got for us?" Batman's eyes narrowed.

"Not what, WHO." Two Face sounded like he was smirking under all that black fabric.

He led them down the street and into an ally. They were extremely cautious. He truck was parked there and he opened the back doors.

Tied up and gagged lay the Scarecrow. Jonathan Crane.

"This guy isn't infected. He's been hiding in isolation for months. Had no idea what was going on when we grabbed him. I know he's got the brains and experience to come up with a cure for this thing. Or a vaccine to prevent it from spreading further."

Batman wasn't sure about this. Crane couldn't be trusted. Nor Two-Face.

Dent pulled the gag away from Crane's mouth. "Well, you going to cooperate or what?"

Crane looked extremely angry at first. Then he sighed, knowing it was in his best interest to find a cure. He didn't want to get infected any more than anyone else.

"You're going to have to fill me in on A LOT. I have no idea what's going on."

"Ya, ya, ya!" Dent was unkind.

"And I need a blood sample to study."

Batman had taken two samples. He could spare one. He could always get more if necessary. He weighed his options. He did need someone to work on this problem for him. Crane was capable. BUT Crane couldn't be trusted. Did he really want to help Crane crack the secret of the virus? What if these criminals kept the life saving solution to themselves? That could easily happen.

What if they used the information that blood provided for evil? He could never be certain.

And yet, instinct told him to just go with it. They had to do SOMETHING.

So he tossed a vial of blood to a surprised Two Face.

"Always a few steps ahead, eh, Bats?" Two Face was impressed. He then turned to Crane. "Can I trust you enough to untie you?"

"Of course. I have a vested interest in finding a cure."

_I'm counting on that. _Batman's eyes narrowed.

Dent untied Crane: "Alright, but if you DARE spray any of that scare shit in my face, so help me GOD-"

"Relax…" Crane felt his free wrists and gave Dent a serious glare. "I want to survive this thing."

* * *

"Well, she doesn't know her manners." The red queen frowned, making a stroke on her test paper.

"What about addition?" The white queen suggested.

"What's one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one plus one?" The red queen asked quickly.

Ivy blinked. "I dunno. I lost count."

"And she doesn't know addition." The red queen decided. Marking down ANOTHER failure.

"What about subtraction?" The white queen scratched her head.

"If you take that dog's bone away, what remains?"

"Ummm…" Ivy knew this would be a trick. "Well, the bone is gone. And… um… well, the dog would be gone coz it would come to bite me… and then I wouldn't remain. So… nothing. Nothing would remain!"

"WRONG. The dog's anger would remain." The red queen was blunt, marking another strike.

"This test isn't fair!" Ivy protested.

"What about language?" the white queen proposed.

"What's French for fiddle-dee-dee?"

"Well…" Ivy frowned. "I don't think fiddle-dee-dee is English."

"I never said it was!" The red queen was irritated.

"Oh. Right." Ivy realized. And she thought for a few seconds.

"Quick. Fan her head. All this thinking is too much for her." The red queen rolled her eyes.

Ivy suddenly had a brainstorm: "If you tell me what language fiddle-dee-dee is, I'll tell you the French for it." She smiled triumphantly, crossing her arms.

"Queens never bargain." The red queen snorted. "FAIL." She stroked down another failure.

"I wish Queens didn't ask questions." Ivy snorted. "This sucks."

"What is the cause of lightening?" The red queen asked stiffly.

Ivy moaned. She just wanted to wake up. This wasn't fun anymore.

A voice suddenly interrupted: "What English word is nine letters long, and can remain an English word at each step as you remove one letter at a time, right down to a single letter?"

The queens looked over and saw a smirking man in a green suit.

"It's rude to answer a question with a question." The red queen snapped. "Fail."

"That's not my test. I'm not trying to be a queen." The stranger was smug.

"Then why are you interrupting? Either take the test or leave." The red queen was irritated.

"What two things can never be had for breakfast?" he smirked in response.

The red queen wouldn't be beaten easily. She also answered a question with a question, saying: "A man is stuck in a metal room with a metal door that is locked. There are no windows. The following items are in the room with him: a piano, a table, a saw and a baseball bat. How does the man get out?"

Ivy, all the while was slowly, slipping out of her throne and slinking away. This guy was creating the perfect distraction!

Edward smiled. "There are three answers. One: He played the piano until he found the right KEY. Two: He sawed the table in half and put the two halves back together. Two halves make a whole. As in, a HOLE. Three: He swung the bat three times and was OUT. "

The red queen was frustrated. She stood up. "You weren't supposed to get ALL THREE answers." If he'd gotten one right, she would have said WRONG and cited one of the other answers. But no. He'd said them ALL just to cover himself. He'd known because he'd designed the game.

Meanwhile, Ivy was sprinting away at full speed, out of sight.

Edward, hands on his hips, was smirking confidently. "Got any more?"

* * *

"BEAUUUUUUUUUUUTFUL SOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPP!"

"Let go, let go, let go!" Ally was kicking and struggling, holding onto the rocks.

Arthur had one leg and Summer had the other. They were trying to pry him away from this extremely annoying scene.

"I wanna stay! I wanna stay! I wanna stay!" Ally kicked wildly.

"Beautiful soup of the e-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevening!" The turtle sang tearfully.

"Ally, PLEASE!" Summer struggled to maintain her hold on him. He was kicking like MAD.

"That's it." Arthur threw up his arms and stepped back. "I'm done. I am just DONE."

And with that he started to walk away.

"Reeves, wait!" Summer let go of Ally and chased after the councilman.

"No, I'm sick of this stupidity."

"Try burning him again." She pleaded.

"He's not even entranced. He's just an IDIOT." Arthur snarled.

Ally, pleased with his victory, curled up on the rock beside the turtle, listening with fondness in his face.

"Look at him, Gleeson! He's happier left behind. We can't twist his freaking arm every step of the way. He has been a thorn in my side from the first second and it just has to stop somewhere. Ok?"

Gleeson turned back and looked at Ally. He was looking up at the turtle fondly.

They really couldn't drag him every step of the way. He was constantly trying to get them caught.

Arthur saw she was weakening and took advantage of it. He took her hand and tried his best to sound kind and sympathetic towards others. He tried for a really open and honest expression on his face, one that women generally found convincing and attractive.

"Look, I know it's hard. But we can't keep this up. We can't handle him. This place is draining us enough WITHOUT his antics. We're wearing ourselves out. And really… we both know that once we free him from this trap, he's just going to drag us into another and another… At some point, we have to let him go. We can't cure him anyway. His mind is already lost."

He was rubbing her hand with his thumb the entire time. Surely he was going to win her over.

Summer was still watching Ally. He was falling asleep. He'd be easier to deal with then.

She turned back to Arthur, glaring. "And when I start to slow you down? When I start to hold you back? Are you going to leave me behind too?"

She ripped her hand away and marched over to Ally.

"He's asleep now. Help me move him!" she barked, obviously angry.

Arthur sighed. Nobody liked him.

"BEAUTIFUL SOUP of the E-e-eeeeeevening! Beautiful, beautiful sooooouuuup!"

"Did I mention I hate this song?" he sighed as he walked over and took Ally's ankles.

"I wanna move him far away from here before we wake him up." She explained. "Otherwise he'll just fall into this stupid spell over and over again. He LOVES this turtle."

"He loves everything." Arthur grumbled.

Summer looked angrier still. "How would you like it if the tables were turned and we left YOU behind, hm? How would THAT be?"

"I'm HELPING." Arthur snapped back. "Jeez. I just don't wanna carry this guy all day. I find it hard to believe I'm the only one annoyed by him."

* * *

"Tickets, please!"

Tim blinked. He looked around. What NOW?

"_Don't keep him waiting. His time is worth a thousand bucks a minute!"_ a little voice whispered.

Tim was startled. He swatted his ear, hard, as if a mosquito had just buzzed in it.

"Tickets, please!" a man in uniform prompted again.

"We don't have tickets." Bullock was as irritable as ever.

"There was nowhere to get any." Tim frowned. He didn't want to get kicked off the train.

"Don't make excuses!" The conductor scolded.

"But-" Tim started.

"_There's no use explaining. Language is worth a thousand bucks a word!" _

Tim slapped his ear again. "ACK." He hissed. "What the hell?"

"Problem?" Bullock raised an eyebrow.

And that's when they realized they weren't alone in their train car.

A goat was sitting across from them dressed in a suit, hat and spectacles.

"Good day." The goat said politely.

Bullock tipped his hat politely and looked out the window nonchalantly. As if this was normal.

Tim just STARED, wide eyed.

"It's very rude to stare." A large beetle suddenly appeared beside the goat.

Tim continued to stare more, eyes wider than ever.

Bullock looked at Tim, saw the freaky look on his face and elbowed him, clearing his throat.

Tim blinked and returned to normal. Only to be scared out of his wits again!

A strange man dressed in white PAPER rushed forward, grabbing his hands. "Be sure to buy a ticket every time the train stops, ya hear?" He smiled brightly.

"No way!" Tim pulled away. "We're not even supposed to be on this train!"

"A ticket per stop? That's steep." Bullock muttered to himself, pulling out his wallet and thumbing through it absentmindedly.

Tim looked frightened. Bullock was acting too comfortable with all this creepy crap. He was caught up in the scene and that usually spelled trouble.

"Um…" Tim started to speak.

"_Language is worth a thousand bucks a word!"_ a little voice tickled his ear.

He sprang to his feet, slapping his ear too hard. "ERRR." He was SOO frustrated. "I just want off this train. Stop the train!"

"Eh." Bullock snagged him and ripped him back into his seat. "Behave yourself, kid. You're making a freaking scene here."

Tim stood up again. "Snap out of it! Talking goats and beetles? People dressed in sheets of paper? Is that normal to you? COME ON!"

The goat cleared his throat. "Keep your voice down, please."

"Take your seat. Should the train stop suddenly you'll find yourself in a real fix." The beetle scolded.

"NO!" Tim snapped furiously. NO!"

"Take your seat, please." The conductor appeared, speaking seriously.

"Wake up!" Tim kicked Bullock in the leg. "Don't leave me alone with these people! Please!"

"I said take your seat, please." The conductor took a threatening step forward.

"Don't leave me along with these people…" Tim pleaded, looking into the detective's face.

"Kid. Sit down. NOW." Bullock ordered. "You're embarrassing yourself."

Tim looked around helplessly. He couldn't fall under the spell or they were doomed… and yet… he couldn't exactly escape either…

* * *

Eddie wandered through another green clearing.

Ivy suddenly ran past him. He didn't miss a beat, grabbing her by the wrist.

She whirled around and punched him in the face – VERY hard.

He cradled his jaw a moment, blood coming from his mouth. He blinked back the pain and then forced a handsome smile.

"What do you want?" she barked viciously. She was a dangerous young woman.

"You to pay for reconstructive surgery." He joked, wiping the blood away.

"Back off!" she shouted forcefully.

"Well, you're welcome." He smirked.

"For what?"

"Saving you from those the Queens, of course."

Ivy stopped short and then seemed to think. And she remembered he was right.

"Who are you?"

"A friend." He shrugged playfully. It was sort of true, he supposed.

"Well, I must have dreamed you up to help me. Coz this place is confusing." She frowned.

"Indeed, it is." He took her arm, smiling. "Now, come along. There's somewhere we must go directly."

* * *

Jervis sat alone in a dark, tiny cell. He sat on the floor, staring blankly into space.

The door opened and he didn't even acknowledge it.

Batman stepped into the cell and closed the door behind him.

He would grill Tetch and rough him up and all that jazz… but in the end, he would get nowhere.

He was wasting his time. But he didn't realize that. How could he possible realize it?

When he met Barbara at the batmobile she had a grave look on her face.

"I was looking at some of the paper work for the park again!" She held up a file folder. "The numbers all through here look kind of funny. What do you think? Is it a pattern?"

"Since the figures are all phony… It is worth considering…" He took the pages from her. "They might not have been picked at random."

He ran the numbers through the car's computer to see if there was in fact some kind of rhyme or reason to them… hmm…

The numbers all flashed across the screen over and over again and then… slowly… a message generated:

CAN YOU SEE ME?

Barbara gasped.

Batman glared at the screen. He knew exactly who had left this fun little tease.

CAN YOU SEE ME?

The words flashed over and over again.

Fittingly the computer font was green.

* * *

**Note: Thanks for the reviews! It motivates me to finish this. (Hm... I kinda want to write a Calendar Girl story, coz there isn't one...)**


	7. Chaos, Tea and an Appreciation of Birds

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 7: Chaos, Tea and an Appreciation of Birds**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from **_**Batman: The Animated Series**_**, **_**Batman: Mask of the Phantasm**_**, **_**Batman**_** (the original film) or the Wonderland books by Lewis Carol. Song lyrics are by **_**The Tragically Hip.**_

**Note: Thanks for the reviews and suggestions! Always appreciated. Keeps me motivated, lol. (Oh! And 'ERRRR' is used like 'Hmmm' or 'EWW or 'GRRR'... Only it communicates frustration.)**

**---**

Joker carelessly finished positioning a trigger in the hinges of a rusty old door.

There. Now when the door was opened next, it would start the five minute timer on an incredibly enormous bomb hidden within the room.

He knew it was inevitable that the Batman would sort things out and come poking around. He had a long history of doing that.

This little surprise would make it more fun. A little less predictable.

And if Batman survived, which he probably would, the hero would be SO frustrated and completely thwarted because all the evidence he had hoped to study would be lost in the blast. The crime scene would be destroyed and gone forever.

Smiling, the clown turned out all the lights and left the park for the last time.

He liked letting go and watching whatever mayhem happened to follow.

It was metaphorically on autopilot now and he was going to hole himself up somewhere and see how this catastrophic disaster played itself out. It was a little bit suspenseful, after all. Mega virus strikes Gotham City. Everyone emptying their bank accounts pointlessly and disowning all their possessions. The city was destroying itself.

Admittedly, he was taking a controller with him so that if he was suddenly inspired to intervene and give his drones an instruction, he still could.

If things got too boring he would just instruct: ATTACK BATMAN. And the entire city would turn on Batman. Wouldn't that be fun? Or was that too over the top? NAH…

Well, whatever wacko instructions he gave, he'd make sure Summer Gleeson and her crew covered it day and night for his enjoyment…

---

Batman had silently slipped into the bank after hours, hacking into their computer system to try to track where all these funds were being transferred…

He had hoped there was another way, but things were getting out of hand and time was of the essence. He needed the information and he needed it NOW. So here he was hacking at the bank… not ideal… but necessary…

And the same bank account number kept coming up. All the funds were being transferred to the same account. And it belonged to some random corporation. OK. He'd have to look into this.

It was probably a dummy corporation the Riddler was behind. This had to be the work of the Riddler. Who else would leave him that code to crack. CAN YOU SEE ME? Typical Eddie Nygma stunt.

Suddenly, flashlights were in the window and he was caught.

He vanished in a flash, but the damage was done.

---

"Councilman…" Commissioner Gordon had a headache.

"He broke into a bank after hours and hacked into peoples' bank accounts! Who knows what the hell he was doing! He can't have access to our freaking bank accounts! I should NOT have to tell you that!" a young, self-righteous voice was shouting.

Bullock was watching, silently agreeing.

Once again, Arthur Reeves was wound up: "How many times do I have to barge in here demanding that this lunatic be brought to justice!?"

"Councilman, the banks have been reporting extremely irregular activity. An usually high number of people are closing out their accounts. Batman is obviously investigating this mystery. Just as the department is."

"I cannot BELIEVE what I'm hearing." Arthur leaned over Gordon's desk. "If any other citizen broke into the bank and hacked into bank accounts, you'd throw the book at them! I couldn't get away this! YOU couldn't get away this."

"The department does not condone the Batman's actions. But we also can't catch him." The Commission towed the typical line.

"You aren't even trying to catch him!" Arthur snapped, furious.

"Councilman-"

"And then there's the fact that he assaulted a police officer and interfered with an arrest!" Arthur motioned to Bullock, his anger escalating.

Bullock lowered his gaze, hat over his eyes. The way he always did when Reeves betrayed his confidence. But he'd expected as much and he hoped it would pay off.

Reeves continued, "You're just going to let him start knocking out police officers during arrests to steal their blood? And what about Calendar Girl? She's armed and extremely dangerous and Batman allowed her to escape! I dunno about YOU, Commissioner, but I don't want to see a decapitation as front page news!!"

Gordon sighed. Someone needed to warn him when Reeves was coming.

"And don't even get me STARTED on the fact that he's mentally unstable!"

"Councilman…"

"Don't even BOTHER!" Arthur started for the door. "I've heard it all before! There's no reaching you on this!"

On his way out, he whirled around: "I hope you're watching the news tonight! Coz I'm on and I'm LIVID. Summer Gleeson is gonna have a field day with this crap. The public will want HIS blood by the time I'm finished ripping him to shreds!"

And with that he was gone.

Gordon sighed. Reeves was going to go on television and make his life miserable now. And Batman was going to have to deal with more adversity than ever.

Forgetting that he was talking to one of the angriest men he knew, Gordon sighed: "God, he's angry…"

"And rightly so. This is ridiculous." Bullock snapped.

"Now don't you start too. You're just as guilty of bending the rules to fight crime."

"I bend the rules, he BREAKS them."

Gordon shook his head. "You're a good cop, Harvey, but you break the rules. People in glass houses are in no position to throw stones."

Bullock scowled, leaving. "I don't need this! I've gotta hunt down that pin-up model all over again before she kills someone!"

---

Tim nervously played with this thumbs in his seat. He had to think of something.

He wanted to just run and jump off the train, but he couldn't leave Bullock behind. And the guy was totally under the spell. He was sleeping with his hat over his eyes!

He didn't have a lighter or a sharp object either. What was he supposed to do?

Suddenly, Bullock sat up abruptly. "ACK." He frowned, holding his head.

"What?" Tim was surprised.

"I think I sneezed somewhere."

Tim was totally baffled by this.

---

"I'm tellin' ya… Supermodel turns super-villain… I couldn't make this crap up!" Bullock grumbled to Montoya from the passenger seat.

And then he sneezed violently again. Spit prayed everywhere.

Montoya was extremely disgusted. "Cut it out! It's gross!" she barked.

"Sorry. Coming down with a bad cold."

"Ya, it's really going around suddenly. Everyone's getting it. I've got a sore throat now."

He sneezed again abruptly. And then turned up the radio.

_The phone rings and it brings Niagara Falls_

---

_At three o'clock in the morning_

_You'd better be dying and you were_

_So we talked about-_

"What the hell is that?" Tim was startled. Music was coming loudly from all around.

"Omg, I saw my radio!" Bullock's sat up straight, his hat falling on the floor. He was extremely startled. There was a look of alarm written all over his face.

"What?!" Tim was growing more and more perplexed.

He'd said: _I think I sneezed somewhere… I saw my radio… _What the hell!?

"Hey…" Bullock picked up his hat. "When did I get my hat back?"

He suddenly seemed to notice the talking goat for the first time. He slowly turned to Tim and said, "We've got to get off this train."

"NO KIDDING. For some reason you decided it was a good time for a NAP."

"Ya, ya." Bullock ushered him into the aisle.

But the conductor was waiting for them. "Take your seats, please."

"Actually, I need to go to the bathroom." Tim lied spontaneously.

"Take your seats, please." The conductor repeated darkly.

"Oh, screw this!" Bullock knocked him out of the way. "We're getting off!"

Tim raced after him to the door at the end of the car and they found themselves staring at the connector between cars with the tracks blazing by below them.

To their left and right, they could see a very, very deep ravine.

The train was going through the mountains and the view was breathtaking. But the fall was clearly fatal.

"UM." Bullock stepped back, obviously freaked. "I don't think so."

"Oh, come on!" Tim pushed past him. "It's not real! It's just meant to scare us!"

And with that, the boy jumped.

---

Batman pulled up the company on the car's computer screen. Digging a little deeper, he was surprised by what he discovered…

It was a dummy corporation. But not under the Riddler.

It belonged to Rupert Thorne.

Batgirl's voice was suddenly in his ear: "I've finally had some luck. People really are being sneaky about this…"

"Who are you tailing?"

"I'm following some people trying to secretly move an extremely valuable statue. And guess where they're headed?"

"Rupert Thorne's house?"

There was a long silence.

"You're always a few steps ahead of me." She muttered.

---

Batman and Batgirl entered Rupert Thorne's house together. Sure enough, a pile of loot was just sitting randomly in the large front hall before the main stair case.

Off to the left, some extremely nervous individuals, shakily propping up some machine guns, were seeking cover behind a long dining table they had turned on its side. Closer inspection revealed them to be the household staff.

"Batman!" The chef lowered his gun, wobbling it around with inexperience. It was obviously too heavy for him and he didn't know what he was doing.

"You've come to save us!" The gardener sounded so relieved.

"What's going on?" The Bat demanded bluntly.

"Wait!" A servant snapped. "We have no way to know he's not one of them!"

"What's going on?" Batman repeated with force.

"There's no way I'm turning into a zombie!" The servant stood, pointing his automatic weapon at them. He wasn't even holding it right, though.

"You don't know what you're doing!" Batgirl kicked it out of his hands.

The man shriveled back down onto his knees, clearly frightened.

The chef spoke up nervously, "All these mindless people keep bringing their stuff into the front hall and leaving it here. They are totally out of it. Like zombies!"

"And the boss has barricaded himself in upstairs. He hasn't come out in DAYS." A female staff member holding a frying pan interjected.

Batman immediately raced up the stairs and saw the door they were referring to. He kicked it in easily, pulverizing the barricade Thorne had made from furniture.

Throne was sitting at his desk smiling confidently.

Batman had expected him to be afraid of contracting the virus. Instead…

"Batman. Wonderful. I've been waiting for you." Thorne smiled.

Uh oh. This sounded too familiar.

"How do you like my virus?"

---

"Ally…" Arthur started to say something.

Ally was running around in circles like an obnoxious idiot.

And then Tim and Bullock came crashing downwards at them on an angle.

Bullock crashed right into Ally, smashing the daylights out of the man. They connected with a very loud SMACK. And they went FLYING.

It was so shocking.

Arthur threw back his head and abruptly laughed out loud. A loud, uncontrolled laugh. He couldn't help it!

Gleeson glared at him.

"What? It was too perfect. I couldn't have PLANNED that better."

"Ouch…" Tim rubbed his knees. That had been a very, very hard fall.

"Well, at least we're all back together again." Reeves muttered, extending a hand to Tim.

Tim accepted the help up and said truthfully, "I never thought I'd be happy to see you!"

Bullock stood up and tried to help Ally to his feet, but the other man was just too stunned. He couldn't really see or hear. OUCH.

Summer had just missed getting taken out by Tim. She realized this grimly. Wow, that would have hurt. They'd fallen with such force. And from the sky. This place was weird.

Bullock suddenly grabbed his head. "ACK! Another sneeze."

"Did you see anything?" Tim was anxious.

"Nah." Bullock sighed. "It just rattles my brain or something."

"What?" Arthur demanded to be brought up to speed.

"Sneezing is this kinda violent reflex that seems to patch us into the real world temporarily." Tim explained. "At least that's my theory right now."

Ally moaned, rubbing the back of his head.

"Is he ok?" Summer frowned.

Ally shook his head. "My ears are ringing." He sounded dazed. But his vision was starting to come back. It was blurry, but it was coming.

"Oh, he's fine." Reeves sighed impatiently.

"Sorry, Knox. Didn't mean to clock ya." Bullock helped him up now.

"It's ok." Ally tried to smile. "I can hear and see ok now."

"Remember anything, Ally?" Tim was hopeful.

"Actually…" Ally looked at him for a moment. "I think I do."

Everyone froze, looking hopeful.

"You guys made me miss Humpty Dumpty!" He looked ticked off.

Everyone let out a sigh of disappointment.

"If THAT didn't snap him out of it, nothing will." Reeves concluded.

"I'm not that heavy." Bullock was getting sick of this.

"Right." Reeves muttered.

SMACK!

Bullock punched Reeves hard in the face.

"AH, what the hell?" Reeves clutched his face.

"Bullock!" Gleeson gasped.

"Just checking. Thought we were losing him for a minute there." Bullock smirked.

"Ya, he seemed entranced." Tim agreed, trying to hold back laughter.

"Artie…" Ally grabbed his hands earnestly. "Do you remember anything?"

"I never forgot!" Arthur ripped his hands away, absolutely furious.

And then suddenly, a white rabbit burst across the scene, interrupting their dysfunction.

"WOW!" Ally watched him. He started moving that direction like a moth to a flame.

Bullock grabbed his collar with no hesitation.

Tim looked deep in thought. "Do you think we should follow that rabbit?"

"What did I say about avoiding the characters?" Arthur snapped, still touching his face.

"Well, it isn't working. I still think that if we find the Mad Hatter we can all work together to defeat him." The super hero in Tim wanted to be proactive.

"I dunno…" Gleeson sounded nervous.

"Let's vote!" Ally sprang to attention.

"Only if you don't get a vote." Reeves snapped. "You aren't rational."

"AWW." Ally slumped.

"All in favour of following the white rabbit, as is the Wonderland tradition..." Tim spoke with authority. He and Summer rose their hands.

"All in favour of NOT committing suicide…" Arthur rose his hand.

Bullock did neither.

"Well, you're the tie breaker." Tim told him. "What will it be?"

"I dunno…" Bullock scratched his head, his hat slipping back a bit.

"Come on, detective! Be proactive!" Tim urged him.

"Do you really want to chase a talking rabbit around until we fall asleep forever?" Arthur crossed his arms.

Bullock frowned.

"I rest my case." Reeves was smug.

Bullock still didn't vote. He clearly didn't want to decide their fate.

"Let's flip a coin!" Knox sprang forward again.

"That's stupid." Arthur glared.

"And it's happening." Bullock pulled out a coin bluntly. This took the pressure off.

"WHAT?" Arthur did a double take. "You're going to decide whether we live or die by coin toss? I thought you were Harvey Bullock, not Harvey DENT!"

"We Harveys believe in fate." He shrugged, tossing up the coin.

The coin flipped several times nicely. The sunlight caught it and flashed for a second.

And then it landed and he smacked it down hard.

"Well?" Ally was excited.

Tim, Summer and Ally stepped forward. Everyone was silent, waiting for the reveal.

Bullock lifted his hand.

"DAMN IT!" Reeves thumped away.

"YES!" Tim punched the air.

---

Batman frowned, "Tetch and Thorne are dead ends. Red herrings. They likely both have the virus and are meant as a diversion."

"You still think the Riddler is behind this?" Batgirl questioned.

"Who else would leave that message?"

"But it isn't like the Riddler to leave no clue for us. No trail to follow."

"Oh, there's a clue in all this. We just missed it somewhere along the way."

"So…"

"We're going back to the park."

"But you already-"

"We need to be more thorough. I missed something. I had to have."

"Well, Riddler IS tricky. It could be something really tough to spot."

"I know there's something there."

---

"We never should have allowed this precedent to be set! He starts dressing up to play super hero and others take it as a challenge! They start dressing up and acting out! We never had super villains until we had a super hero. We need to take back our city, damn it! Half these lunatics are dressing up and acting out BECAUSE of him! They want to kill him, they want to CHALLENGE him… And we've ALLOWED this, people! We've set this dynamic up! This war of masks that has us held hostage now!"

Arthur Reeves was really at it tonight. He was obviously enraged.

"Not only has batman assaulted police officers and botched arrests, he's constantly breaking and entering, trespassing on private property, hacking into protected information, helping himself to any confidential documents in this town that he feels like… And we allow it, because we tell ourselves he's trying to help. He's doing good out there. WELL, I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen – where do we draw the line?"

---

Batgirl frowned. They were watching Reeves on the monitor in the car as they drove to the park. "Man, this guy doesn't cut you a break. What's his problem? And he doesn't go any easier on Bruce Wayne. He hates you both relentlessly."

"Hate isn't the right word."

"What do you mean?"

"It's complicated." He said in a dark way that meant 'Drop it' …

She dropped it.

---

Edward and Ivy walked for a very long time, their direction never wavering for he knew exactly where he was going. The walk was actually enjoyable. Being a former video game designer, Nygma knew how to flesh out a space with all sorts of rich detail. Wonderland was full of all sorts of lovely plants and interesting birds, for example. Though he'd never really mentioned it to Ivy or Penguin, Edward really rather liked plants and birds. In another life, he would have a arranged a large, beautiful backyard for himself. But Mockridge stole his fortune and everything went straight to hell…

When they reached a pretty glade full of singing birds, he turned to Ivy: "Almost there now. Just a few more minutes."

Weeping willows hung beautifully with dozens of species of birds thick within them. He had designed this place with himself in mind.

And he realized, with each step, he was getting distracted by the beauty of it. He was noticing a cardinal here or a chickadee there… and oh, a purple martin! You didn't find those in Gotham City. And a tree swallow. They were a striking metallic blue with a bright white underbelly. Just awesome to look at.

Woah… He shook his head. No, no, no. This was designed to trap other people.

He glanced over at Ivy, who was staring up into the willows in awe. Her pace was slowing. And slowing all the more.

He took her hand and tugged a touch, "Come on, just a little further." He urged.

"Just a second…" Her voice sounded far away. She wasn't looking at him.

"We're almost there. I'm sure you're hungry and thirsty. Wouldn't you like cup of tea?"

She wasn't listening. She wasn't walking anymore either.

"I just saw an Eastern Kingbird." She suddenly smiled. "Look."

Edward didn't want to look. But his eyes instinctively followed where she was motioning too. Sure enough, he saw a grey bird with a white underbelly and a thick white band across the bottom of its tail. It was rather handsome.

He then shook his head, "Come on!" He said with some force, tugging her.

She kept staring at the kingbird, talking more to herself than Edward. "They're so friendly. They follow you as you walk in the country. Hopping from fencerow to fencerow along with you as you go."

"Yes, yes." Edward was growing impatient.

Really, he should just leave her. Her mind was weak and she was hindering him.

But instead, he surprised himself by picking her up and carrying her out of the glade. She didn't resist, she seemed very sleepy.

She was light and easy to carry. She also smelled nice and had beautiful, natural red hair. The sun was in it now. He couldn't help but notice.

And then he realized she was asleep.

He jostled her and she stirred for a second, but then drifted away again.

"Ivy…" He frowned. "Don't fall asleep here. You won't wake up."

She wasn't listening. She had stopped listening to his voice a long time ago.

---

Jonathan Crane typed furiously on his computer and then glanced into the microscope again. He really didn't have any answers. Like the common cold, this thing had to basically run its course. Only, unlike the cold virus, the human immune system wasn't strong enough to defeat it.

Two Face was fast asleep in a nearby chair.

Crane stopped and looked at him for a second and then sighed, rolling his eyes.

He doubted Hatter would do something this malicious. Hatter had a few friends in the villain community. He would have warned people to get out of dodge.

The telephone rang and he grabbed it: "Yes?"

It was Batgirl: "Just so you know… everyone who had the virus is coming down with all sorts of cold and flu symptoms…"

"Naturally. The human immune system was designed to fight. It won't submit without kicking and screaming first."

"So, its just the immune system reacting? Trying to flush out the virus?"

"Yes. The mind control virus itself appears to be harmless to one's physical health. But it is a foreign invader nonetheless and the body will attack it with great ferocity in self-defense. And a desperate immune system is a dangerous one. Some of the symptoms we see could prove fatal. For example, I'm expecting some very deadly fevers as bodies try to burn this thing out."

"What?" Batgirl was surprised.

"Silly girl, what did you expect? We won't just see some harmless runny noses here. We're going to see some seriously deadly fevers! The body will fight to the death."

"Could a fever burn this thing out?"

"No… the human immune system isn't strong enough. The virus digs in deep."

"Well-"

"Actually!" Crane seemed to just remember something. "When I was fooling around with adrenaline a few years ago, I made a strange discovery that I discarded at the time. One of my trials had a strange effect on not adrenaline, but the immune system. I put it aside because it struck me as a humanitarian effort and I don't want to help people."

Batgirl rolled her eyes on the other end of the line.

"But I didn't delete the information or dispose of the samples because I always intended to go back and explore the option of enhancing MY OWN immune system. To make myself somewhat invincible, I suppose. It was an interesting thought, at any rate. I just never had time to go back to it. Too many other fear experiments to work on."

"Yes, yes…" She prompted him along.

"Call back later and maybe I'll have something." He took the hint.

---

Bullock grabbed his head unexpectedly as those having a spasm.

_Sorry, Harv. I can't tonight. I'll see you in the morning._

Summer, Arthur and Tim looked around, feeling very startled. A female voice had just come from all around them.

Ally looked around curiously. "Someone just got shot down."

Arthur, who had been shot down many times, said absolutely nothing.

Bullock rubbed his head. "Oy, that kinda hurts."

"Was that the outside world?" Summer looked very hopeful.

"It was Montoya." Bullock muttered. "She didn't have time for coffee after our shift." He could just tell. He knew her and he knew the lives they lived closely together.

"Why are you sneezing so much?" Arthur wondered aloud.

"Do you have allergies?" Ally beamed brightly.

"Nah. Must be sick." This was all the detective could think to say.

"To be honest…" Summer frowned. "I'm feeling kinda sick myself."

---

Edward continued to carry Ivy, even though she was nearly gone…

He was trying to work out in his brilliant mind how she could be saved. But for once, he didn't have an answer. And then he remembered a note Jervis had made on the edge of one of his papers… Something about sudden, unexpected shock…

So he dropped her. She hit the ground with a loud thump.

"AH!" She was startled. Ouch. What…?

"Are you alright?" He helped her up.

"I saw an Eastern Kingbird." She said randomly. "I loved those as a girl. They remind me of happier times."

Well… she was dazed and upbeat, like Ally Knox, but at least she was awake.

She suddenly turned away. "Do you hear that?"

He didn't. But when he looked over to their far left, he saw that they were just arriving.

"A tea party!" Her voice rang of 'How quaint'…

"Come along." He looped his arm in hers. "We're finally here."

---

Batman and Batgirl combed the theme park very, very slowly.

"We need to check if Tetch and Thorne have colds. That will confirm my theory that their just pawns in this." Batman informed her.

Batgirl was barely listening. She was tired. This was taking HOURS.

Batman lifted another trash can and randomly was surprised to find a tiny square door.

"What?" Barbara blinked.

Batman opened it, finding it unlocked and well oiled. "This is used often."

A ladder went deep down into the dark.

---

Edward and Ivy approached a very long table with places set for many guests. So far only two had arrived. Jervis Tetch and a clothed rabbit. Sleeping on top of the table was a small, clothed mouse.

"Hello-" Ivy smiled politely.

But they interrupted her in a panic: "No room! No room! No room!"

"But there's plenty of room." Ivy was offended by their attitude.

Eddie shook his head. He wasn't about to let her play through the scene with them.

"Jervis…" He slithered into a chair charismatically, pouring himself a cup of tea. "We really need to talk…"

"Sorry!" Tetch, having been written into the Hatter role, poured himself some tea. "All business after tea time."

"Well, we can't have that." Edward smirked. "It's always tea time here."

"Let's have a story!" the March Hare interrupted. "I'm rather tired of all this chat."

"We haven't even BEGUN to chat." Ed tried to remain patient with them.

"How about riddles?" The Hatter suggested, smiling.

"Oh, I do love riddles!" The March Hare agreed immediately, hands clasp together.

Edward sighed. They weren't doing this because they knew he was the Riddler; this was actually part of the storyline. Wonderland was full of riddles.

It was clear Hatter didn't recognize them and was under the spell, caught up in his part. And naturally he would be. This was his fantasy come true, likely. He would be all too willing to accept this reality and lose himself in it. It was a lot better than his real life, after all.

Ed passed Ivy a steaming cup and tea, which she accepted with a grateful expression.

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Hatter asked.

"There is no answer." Eddie sighed impatiently.

"You'd think you'd have something better to do than ask riddles with no answers." Ivy muttered into her tea cup.

Edward found himself smiling at her fondly.

"Would you like some wine?" The hare asked her unexpectedly.

"Why, yes please." Ivy sounded eager.

"Well, there isn't any."

She frowned. "Then it wasn't very civil of you to ask."

"It wasn't very civil of you to sit down to tea without being invited!"

Ivy's mouth opened and then closed shut abruptly. This was true.

The hare smirked, sensing his victory.

Edward sighed, not wanting to get into this crap. They'd be here all eternity. Or at least until they fell into a sleep that was practically synonymous with death.

So he started: "Jervis, I know you and I aren't exactly buddies, but if we're going to escape this death trap we've got to work together. You worked out this plan and invented this virus. You understand this technology better than I do. I was just mimicking your brainchild. I'm not a neurotechnician. YOU ARE. How do we get out of here now that we're in?"

The Hatter wasn't paying any attention to him. He was looking into his dirty cup.

"Jervis…" Edward started again.

"Clean cup!" The Hatter shouted standing up. And then he and the hare shifted a seat. And the hare had the misfortune of ending up with Hatter's dirty cup. Hatter smiled, filing a fresh, clean cup with steaming tea.

Sudden shock. Right.

Edward stood up and punched Jervis in the face, very hard.

The Hatter blinked and then laughed.

Unexpectedly, the March Hare punched Edward in the face, even harder!

Edward crashed to the ground. He shook his head and stood up.

"The Doormouse is asleep again." The Mad Hatter poked the little mouse.

Edward walked around the table calmly and quietly. He didn't want to KILL Jervis; he just needed to smash the living daylights out of the man.

The March Hare was eyeing him darkly as he walked around.

With lightening speed, Ed took a chair and smashed in brutally over Hatter's back. The chair actually shattered, he'd struck so very hard.

The Mad Hatter laughed again and was not fazed.

Eddie's heart sank. For the first time in this place he felt a pang of fear. Jervis was NOT waking up. He couldn't hit him any harder without the risk of killing him.

And then the March Hare sprang up with a chair of his own.

Edward saw the blow coming and sprang backwards to save himself.

Ivy screamed.

---

At the bottom of the ladder they were surprised to find several rooms. They were like offices.

A large whiteboard had all sorts of things written all over it in a dry erase marker.

They went into all the rooms and realized that no one was present. There was nowhere for anyone to hide.

Batgirl looked at the whiteboard again. "Someone was explaining the plan to someone else." She whispered.

"That's definitely Nygma's handwriting." Batman confirmed his hunch.

"Look at these blue prints…" She pointed to the desk.

"Jervis Tetch made these." Batman realized immediately.

"So he must have been involved and Riddler double crossed him."

"Here are the chambers used to infect the-" Batman froze.

"What's wrong?" Barbara was nervous. She didn't like that look on his face.

Batman hurriedly began searching the room.

"I hear a ticking!" He snapped. He kept lifting things, checking under things…

Barbara pulled the chair out of the desk and gasped.

Under the desk was an enormous bomb. A green box with black question marks had a timer on it. And the timer read 4:02 at that instant.

The two raced to the ladder and back up into the park. They raced towards the exit, just as the bomb below them exploded. This seemed to trigger a chain reaction of explosions and burst after burst the park disappeared.

"There goes the park." Barbara frowned.

"There goes our evidence." Batman glared.

---

Edward stormed across the grass with Ivy in pursuit. Her hair bounced as she ran.

"Eddie!" she called, his name just coming out of her mouth naturally. "Eddie, wait!"

Edward kept storming forward, absolutely furious.

A dark, ugly bruise was already spreading along his jaw line and down this throat on the left side. It looked absolutely awful. It was clear he had just taken a blow from hell!

"Eddie!" She caught up and tried to grab his arm.

He ripped his arm away, shouting: "Just leave me alone!"

She froze, looking hurt, and watched him thunder away.

Forgetting her immediately, Edward continued to rage in his mind. His pride had been smashed along with his body. And though he was generally a charismatic, playful, smirking fellow… when he was pushed too far, when the trigger was struck, he had one HELL of a temper…

Whenever he suffered a defeat and was thrown back into a miserable cell… well, there had been nights where he'd screeched and screeched until blood came out of his mouth…

Eventually, he came to a rocky beach and he sat down, staring at the salty sea. It smelled great. He remembered designing this little scene. It had been a relaxing image.

So he tried to relax now. But he couldn't. He was just SO pissed. And SO defeated.

He tossed his jacket away angrily. After a moment, he decided to unbutton his shirt and look at the damage. It hurt like hell.

The bruise went along his jaw line, down his throat onto the upper, left quadrant of his torso. It was getting really dark now. It was black and purple and really nasty looking. It had really, really hurt. And it still hurt now.

He wondered if anything had been broken. He wasn't sure.

He had NO idea what to do now. He didn't want to just sit here and fall asleep. He needed to think of something. He needed to save himself somehow.

He stood up and started walking, forgetting his jacket.

After a while, he felt his teeth clenching again in anger.

He really didn't want to go out this way. This was just so infuriating.

Looking down at his hand, he noticed the little message he'd written to keep him lucid in this dreamland. It seemed so juvenile now. Had he really expected his plan to work? It hadn't even made sense, really… But he'd been willing to latch onto anything to avoid feel helpless and afraid and well…

"A SUPER GENIUS DOESN'T LOSE TO ANYBODY! ESPECIALLY A CLOWN!" He unexpectedly screamed at the sky, arms outstretched.

He kicked a large mushroom in rage, destroying it.

And then he kept walking.

---

"It's unlike Riddler to not leave a clue of some sort." Batman frowned, driving.

"He obviously just wanted to kill us."

"I dunno…"

"We probably missed the riddle."

"Maybe."

"Well, let's check out Thorne and Tetch. If they've got colds, we're locking the puzzle pieces into place."

"You go ahead. I've got to track down Riddler somehow. Keep your eyes peeled around the city! I'm going to patrol and watch every television channel at once and hope for the best."

"If he hasn't left a clue, he's going to." She reassured him. "He's all about the game."

---

"What about Calendar Girl?" Gleeson followed Bullock up the stairs with a mike. The camera was fixed on him and he wasn't sure what to say. He hated this.

He kept walking, "No comment."

"Oh, come on, Bullock…" Summer muttered.

"No freaking way, Gleeson. Answering your questions could hinder our investigation." This was a lie. The truth was he had nothing. They had NO idea where the girl was.

"Is it true she's hideous after botched plastic surgery?" Some young reporter asked.

"Nah, she's gorgeous. Do your homework." Bullock muttered, trying to get through the doors without these people harassing him. They needed to stay outside.

"Has she made any threats?" Ally Knox blocked the door like the ass he was.

"Knox-" Bullock started. GREAT. This jerk was impossible.

But Ally Knox smiled and couldn't resist: "You and the assailant have quite a history, detective. Not only did you personally name her 'Calendar Girl,' you were the man who de-masked her. You mock her constantly in public and private… Apparently you've made her cry more than once… All and all, you're kind of bastard about the whole thing… Any comments on this very personal dynamic?"

Bullock nearly chocked. "What's wrong with you?"

"What can I say?" Ally shrugged, smirking. "I've got moxy."

Bullock broke free and slammed the door in their faces.

"You'll never get the scoop that way." Gleeson frowned.

"We weren't getting the scoop either way, sweety. They've got no case right now. So when you're going down in flames anyway, why not try for provocative? He's got a TEMPER. It's easy to set him off and get crazy quotations. A Bullock meltdown always sells papers."

She couldn't argue with that. Suddenly she could picture Ally with a television show.

---

Crane was frustrated. Pouring over his old experiment, he just couldn't figure it out.

Two Face was still fast asleep.

Crane was so exhausted. But he really needed to figure this out.

He sat down in his chair and looked up at the ceiling…

He really needed a test subject. How could he possibly know if he was on the right track without testing? He'd always been one for testing! He tested everything on his patients back when he was practicing. Sure it was inhumane. But he didn't know any other way of determining if things worked.

Some idea had better come to him… How could he modify this reaction slightly to solve their problem? And then how could he reproduce it on a massive scale?

Think, think, think…

---

The exhausted little party of five was trudging through deep grass. Even Ally seemed to be slowing down. He was actually fairly quiet now. He was likely hungry and thirsty.

They were walking single file through the grass…

"You'll see. The rabbit with lead us to the next scene and there will be food and drink." Tim tried to sound confident, but he came across as uncertain. And he was. He wasn't sure how much longer he could trudge around like this. He hadn't slept, eaten and drank in a very long time. Too long.

They were all very sweaty. And dirty.

Ally's pant legs were still rolled up casually. He was wearing his hat loose and far back on his head. All and all, he looked very careless.

Summer looked like she was going to cry. She'd thrown her hair into a messy bun.

Arthur had his shades on and had ditched his jacket, his shirt undone a bit.

A judge would be hard pressed to determine who had the messiest, sweaty hair – Reeves or Bullock. They both looked like adventurers in a desert or something. Trudging along in a dirty, sweaty mess.

Tim, leading the way, had dark bags under his eyes. And hard lines. He looked sickly.

Suddenly, they came to a cool, green glade filled with birds.

"Hey, I think I see more fruit trees." Summer pointed.

She, Tim and Ally decided to go over and pick as many as they could carry back in their shirts. They really needed to eat and were looking forward to it.

Reeves and Bullock sat down on some rocks on the edge of the glade and stared out into the long grass, watching the birds dart about.

Wa-wa-eeeeeeeeee! Wa-eeeeeeeee!

Reeves smiled, looking down. He'd made that little sound people make when they repressed a small laugh. The remembering noise.

"What?"

"Oh, just a red wing blackbird." Arthur looked out into the field, still smiling a little.

For the first time Bullock thought he looked like a normal, nice guy. Wow.

"Oh ya?" Bullock raised his hat. "I dunno my birds so good."

Arthur kept that mildly happy, remembering expression on his face as he watched the birds. He'd grown up in the country and his knowledge of birds was pretty solid.

Bullock glanced over and saw Summer laughing. Tim was shaking the tree from above and she and Ally were running around trying to catch the fresh fruit in their shirts as it fell. He could hear the murmur of their voices, but not what they were actually saying.

And then he saw a slender red-brown bird with a very long tail.

"Hey." He pointed. "What's that one? I saw them all the time as a kid."

Arthur smiled. "My mom called them brown thrushes. But I don't think that's their right name." He took on a pensive look for a moment and then said, "Brown thrasher, I think."

"Well, I like that colour." Harvey muttered. It was a really cool red-brown.

And now Arthur was thinking of his mother. Something he rarely, rarely did. Coz the memory of her was so distant and far away that it didn't even seem real anymore. She had died when he was a young child.

But he still remembered random stuff. Like her knowing bird names. And bird calls. She'd passed that on to him very early. He frowned for a moment and wondered if that was ALL he had from her. It very likely was. No wonder seeing birds made him happy.

He noticed a little purple and orange bird take a very graceful dive, swooping down over the field, gliding beautifully across it, very low to the ground.

Its shiny purple tail was very deeply forked.

Another came from a different direction and they twirled around each other effortlessly at top speed. They were dancing!

"Holy crap!" Bullock was impressed.

"Barn swallows." Arthur smiled again.

During the warm months, the barn swallows had always danced around his house when he was little. They were really, really beautiful flyers. They had been able to dive and glide a great, great distance and still seamlessly slip through the crack under a barn door without breaking their speed at all. It had always amazed him!

Wa-wa-eeeeeeee! Wa-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Blackbirds are extremely vocal birds.

Bullock decided to be nice to Arthur. Or least to try for it.

He put his hands together in the way he had called Summer from a distance, and prepared to whistle. It was tricky, but the sound that came out was similar to the blackbird call.

The blackbird answered immediately.

And Arthur gave a small, very natural chuckle.

---

"What's that?" Tim stopped, looking back towards the glade.

"That's Bullock's whistle. He probably wants us to come back now." Summer answered.

"We have enough anyway." Tim looked down into his shirt.

"I love crab apples!" Ally spoke with his mouth full. They looked away. EWW.

"I don't." Tim frowned. "They're really sour."

"Well, it's all we've got." Summer sighed. "Better than starving, right?"

---

The crab apples were covered in black spots. It was hard to find one that wasn't. And they were too tiny to peel. You'd lose all the nourishment, really.

Tim had an awful look on his face as he munched. They were SO sour.

Bullock took a few apples out of Summer's pulled up shirt. He couldn't help but look at her. She was revealing a lot of soft, smooth skin. He looked away abruptly, not wanting to get caught. But he had to admit, she looked pretty sexy all dirty and unkempt. The messy bun was a particularly nice touch.

"YUCK." Tim finally voiced the look on his face. His features were all scrunched up.

"Well, it was certainly a beautiful TREE." Summer motioned to all the blossoms. "Too bad we can't say the same for the fruit."

"Beats starving." Bullock muttered in his typical grumpy way.

They sat in silence for a long while, listening to bird calls.

"We used to feed these to the horses." Arthur said absently.

"You grew up in the country?" Summer sounded surprised.

Arthur missed her question, though, noticing a little woodpecker on a nearby tree trunk. "Check out the downy." He motioned casually.

"Cool!" Tim didn't see many birds in Gotham City. This place was pretty nice.

Arthur tossed an apple core away nonchalantly and for the very first time, Gleeson realized he was actually attractive.

---

Crane sighed into the telephone. "Like a cold or flu - everyone's immune system will react somewhat differently. People will get a variety of symptoms. I highly doubt there's going to be a uniform reaction to this thing across the board. But I can't predict these sorts of things. This is a brand new virus. Either way, responses will vary!"

"Well, things are falling apart out here. Tell me you've got something!" Batgirl hissed.

"I'm close." He sighed. "I just need a test subject."

"Oh dear." Barbara didn't like the sound of that.

---

"Hm… Rupert Thorne has been arrested." The Joker frowned, tossing away a newspaper. "Batman is getting too close too quickly. I find myself craving more drama."

Harley Quinn, interpreting his whim, handed him the controller.

"Thank you, dear." He smirked. And then programmed: ANY WHO CAN, DISCOUNT ALL TELEPHONE SERVICES. AND 911.

"Will that actually work?" The pretty clown frowned.

"Sure. Those capable of following my instructions will. Those who can't will disregard them."

He smiled to himself. He just loved complicating things.

He then programmed: ALL POLICE OFFICERS ON DUTY, ABANDON YOUR POSTS AND BE OF NO ASSISTANCE TO ANYONE.

"So, no telephones, 911 or police during a crisis?" Harley blinked.

"Heartless of me, I know." Joker smirked. "A lot of people are just coming into some deadly flu symptoms right about now…"

He then added: ANYONE BORN IN THE 80s, START LOOTING AND RIOTING.

"Just for good measure." He explained simply.

And then abruptly: "Have fun with that, Batman!" He tossed the controller and laughed.

The city, already coming undone, was now going to spiral into chaos.

He turned on the television, ready to watch.

---

At that very instant, everything went to hell…

From his office, Arthur Reeves heard a bunch of cars screech. He heard horns blare. He heard massive amounts of glass shatter and lots of screaming.

He ran to a window and looked down into the street.

Absolute chaos.

What the hell was happening NOW?

Arthur pressed his forehead against the glass, closing his eyes in frustration. At times like this he wanted to pack a suitcase and just walk away from this horrible place. Nobody listened to him anyway.

When his term ended, he could sell his condo and move back to the country. He could practice law again. Or run for municipal government out there. Hell, with his credentials, he could be MAYOR of some peaceful little town… where the biggest problems were road repairs and garbage pick up… and organizing the volunteer fire fighters…

A filthy pigeon landed on the ledge beside him… It was totally unfazed by all the noisy violence below… The symbolism was not lost on him.

Arthur stared at it and thought about wide open green spaces and hay fields and the smell of horse hair… well… seeing foxes and barn swallows… seeing blackbirds on cattails…

Why did he put himself through this awful place?

Because that was someone else's life a long time ago. He didn't know how to be happy.

He went over to the phone to call 911. But he assumed they would be bogged down with calls about all this crap. It seemed to be happening everywhere all at once.

When he picked up the phone, he realized the line was dead.

---

Bullock entered his apartment and casually tossed his keys on the table and his trench coat on the rack.

He ditched his shoes and clicked on the television.

He was gonna put on some coffee, stand out on the balcony a bit…

But first, he made his way to the bedroom to see about Rusty. It wasn't like the puppy to not come rushing to the door all excited and jumping up at him… It was weird…

Rusty was the only one in this life who was actually happy to see him. How sad.

He whistled lightly for the dog and started to enter the bedroom, pushing the door.

And then he noticed it.

Right at eye level on the door.

A calendar page with his birthday circled.

Just as he processed what this meant, he was violently kicked in the head.

---

The little group of survivors hated to leave the happy little spot, but there wasn't much choice. They needed to press on in order to stay awake.

As they came over the crest of the next green hill… they heard some music…

_Twinkle, twinkle little bat_

_How I wonder what you're at_

_Up above the world so high_

_Light a tea tray in the sky_

As they got closer, they saw in the distance a long table…

"Oh my God…" Summer grabbed Bullock's arm.

Arthur looked very grave.

Tim turned to face them, "This could be it, guys."

"The Mad Tea Party!" Ally was excited. "I love this part."

---


	8. Ah Finally, The Tea Party

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 8: Ah Finally, The Tea Party**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything from **_**Batman: The Animated Series**_**, **_**Batman: Mask of the Phantasm**_**, **_**Batman**_** (the first film) or the Wonderland books by Lewis Carol. **

**

* * *

**

Two Face was absolutely livid. "What the hell were you thinking! Why didn't you just wake me? Why would you tell the Bats! They'll be against it and they'll interfere!"

"Well…" Jonathan Crane frowned, realizing he'd made a critical error.

Telling Batgirl he needed live test subjects to work out an antidote had been foolish. Good guys never went along with such things. In fact, they would likely fight to prevent such testing, despite the necessity of it.

"For a Professor, you really aren't too bright!"

Crane sighed. He had no rebuttal. He watched Harvey Dent prepare to leave. It was so strange to have to do things for themselves. All their goons were off somewhere doing their own thing under the influence of the virus.

Dent hissed, "If they call back, pacify them! Tell them you found another way!"

Crane was uneasy. "What are you going to do? Where are-"

Two Face scowled. "I'm obviously going to go grab some guinea pigs! Before the Bats come and shut us down. We need an antidote, damn it! If you'd woken me up hours ago… ERRR! You single-handedly may have doomed us, Crane!"

With that he slammed the door and went out into the night.

**

* * *

**

Now that they were out of the hypnotic bird glade, Arthur had returned to his normal self – angry and annoying. And Tim and Bullock were having none of it. Whereas Ally Knox was clueless and Summer was silently apprehensive.

Arthur was absolutely refusing to go to the tea party. Convinced that a showdown with the Mad Hatter spelled certain doom, he was being particularly difficult about the whole thing. And not to mention loud.

Ally, chasing a butterfly about like a child, began to cover his ears as he hopped about. And then finally he had to stop: "My, you're loud."

"I'm sorry if DYING makes me lose my temper!" Arthur snapped.

Tim rolled his eyes. "You are SUCH a coward."

"And you're cocky as hell." Arthur glared venomously.

"Listen, Reeves." Tim took a very adult tone. "When we face the Mad Hatter we have a 50/50 chance of defeating him. If we do NOT face the Hatter, we have NO chance of defeating him."

Reeves was silent, so Tim pressed on: "I get that you're freaked, I mean, nobody wants to fail and die… But really, come on… We can take a gamble and have a chance of escaping or we can continue to do nothing. Coz that's been SO successful so far."

Arthur looked away. He hated the fact that the kid was right. And that the kid had emerged as leader throughout this whole ridiculous fiasco. His pride was just RAGING under his cold, indifferent expression. He felt hot in the face and wanted to be verbally abusive.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." He muttered bitterly – but quietly, sensing defeat.

Tim pressed on. "Your way isn't working and you know it."

"Well, we haven't died yet." Arthur muttered, eyes downward.

"YET." Tim countered immediately. "We can't do this forever. We're dying of hunger, thirst and exhaustion. We can't wait for others to rescue us anymore. We won't last!"

Arthur said nothing, so Tim added: "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Arthur bit his tongue to silence his pride. His ego was bleeding like crazy. He was so pissed off. He had more university degrees than he knew what to do with. And yet, some young kid was showing him up in front of others. Some kid was rising to the occasion and proving him wrong, exposing his failings. This kid was braver than him and willing to do whatever it took to escape. It hurt and it sucked and he was angry.

Finally, he managed to say, "Ya, ya, I get it. Ya gotta play to win."

"Exactly!" Tim beamed.

But then they realized Bullock was already long gone.

The detective wasn't going to stand around listening to useless yammering when there was finally something to eat and drink. He was starving and he could smell freshly baked bread.

Summer was chasing after him. She was SO thirsty.

"No room! No room! No room!" The Hatter and the March Hare freaked out.

Bullock completely ignored them and grabbed a loaf of bread, gnawing away at it as though it were a giant bun or biscuit.

"Cupcakes!" Ally jumped over the picket fence without hesitation.

Bullock was now filling his pockets with cookies, still chewing bread.

"You cad! How rude!" The Hatter shot up his nose snootily.

"Got any coffee?" Bullock was looking into a tea pot.

"Excuse me." Summer approached politely. "Could we please-"

"No room!" The Hatter spoke sharply.

"But there's plenty of room." Summer frowned. There were many empty places.

"CAKE!" Ally interrupted loudly.

Summer tried again, "I'm sorry to intrude, but could we please have something to eat and drink… We've been without anything for such a long time. It's becoming critical."

The hosts were watching Bullock and Ally maul everything.

The Hatter sighed, "It's a little late to worry about intrusion now, dear."

"Do you have any water?" Summer ventured, too dehydrated for tea.

"Would you care for some wine?" The March Hare asked politely.

"Oh yes! Yes, PLEASE." Summer was very eager.

"Oh, that's too bad." The Hatter sighed. "We haven't got any."

"Oh." Summer wasn't sure what to say.

"No water?" Tim approached unhappily. He was so thirsty it physically hurt.

"Screw this." Bullock started drinking out of a vase of flowers.

"How VERY rude, indeed!" The Hatter huffed importantly.

"Forget etiquette, buddy. This is survival." Bullock was blunt.

"It does the trick." Tim muttered, pulling some freshly cut flowers out of another vase and starting to drink. He passed it to Summer who frowned, but drank anyway.

Arthur was on the other side of the fence, apprehensively watching. He was extremely hungry and thirsty… but the man at the table was definitely Jervis Tetch. No question. This was definitely the showdown.

Tim, seeing all the delectable treats, entered the fray. It wasn't long before he was standing on the table. At one point he was wrestling Ally for some scones. At another point, Ally tried to snatch a plate of finger sandwiches from Bullock. The two tugged back and forth on the plate angrily with Summer hollering at them futilely. Tim made a play for the plate, only to break it altogether.

This initial starvation and dehydration frenzy took some time to simmer down. But once it did, everyone felt a little foolish and settled down into chairs around the table. They began to pass what remained about civilly.

The Hatter was staring at Summer. Really staring. And she was uncomfortable.

"You need a shower." He spoke very frankly. The comment stabbed like a dagger.

Summer froze, staring at him. It was so rude and it actually hurt her feelings.

"And your hair wants cutting." The Hatter added in the same manner.

Summer's mouth hung open, feeling the remarks too personal. She was offended.

"Close you mouth. That's a particularly ugly expression." The March Hare smiled.

Summer's mouth instantly closed in shock. She was now livid. What the hell?

She finally said: "You shouldn't make such personal remarks. It's extremely rude."

The Hatter clicked his watch open, speaking with eloquent indifference, "You presume to tell me about manners, my dear? When you lot barged into my yard and tore apart our lovely party like wild animals? My, my. Your hypocrisy is astounding."

Summer didn't know what to say. Her tongue fumbled and she failed to speak. The Hatter's eyes left his watch and locked into hers. And then he smirked cunningly.

Summer stared at him, feeling a little entranced already. There was something in the way their gazes locked that… well… struck her as indirectly flirtatious… She suspected she was a few more knowing looks away from becoming his next Alice…

But then, shouting distracted her and broke the spell:

"Hey, don't eat all the squares!" Tim hissed at Bullock. "Pass those down!"

"Bullock!" Summer realized almost all the squares were gone.

Ally turned to Bullock thoughtfully. "If you don't have diabetes, you soon will."

"This from the guy who stuck his hands in the cake like a five year old." Bullock muttered irritably. Sure enough, Ally was covered with icing, especially his hands. It was so gross.

"Hmmm…" The Hatter looked at his watch again. "What day is it?"

Summer stopped and tried to remember. "Um, you know. I don't recall."

"Well, aren't you perfectly useless." The hare snorted rudely.

The Hatter smirked. "She may be useless, but there's nothing perfect about her."

Summer wanted to cry. Why were they picking on her? She had tried more than anyone else to be polite. The others had been absolute beasts. Why weren't they savaging them?

There was a silence and the Hatter shook his watch and sighed. "So no one knows the day? What a sorry state you lot are in."

_You don't know the day either. _Arthur thought, but was too afraid to say so aloud.

"If you've got something to say…" The Hatter turned to Arthur immediately.

"Watches don't generally show the DAY." Tim interrupted.

"Shows what you know." The Hatter sighed impatiently.

"It was the fourth when we first came here." Arthur answered quietly from the fence.

"Hmm…" The Hatter studied his watch. "Two days slow." He then turned to the March Hare. "I told you butter wouldn't suit the works!"

The March Hare's ears dropped sadly, "Well, it was the very best butter."

"Butter, indeed." The Hatter was clearly irritated. "Milk would have been better."

"Or sugar." The Doormouse answered sleepily without opening his eyes.

"Sugar?" The Hatter's back stiffened. "Sheer lunacy. Don't talk in your sleep."

"You put butter in your watch?" Tim frowned.

"Crumbs must have got in with it!" the hare spoke up defensively.

"Then you should have cleaned the knife." The Hatter rolled his eyed. "Obviously."

"You put butter in your watch?" Tim repeated, dumbfounded.

The hare took the watch and looked at it sadly. "Well… it really was the best butter."

"Don't repeat yourself." The Hatter was still peevish.

"Repeating yourself is a waste of time." Ally spoke up, taking a very formal tone.

"Oh, you know Time?" Hatter suddenly took an interest in Knox.

Ally blinked. "Well, sure. I can read it."

"IT? My, my. If you really knew Time you wouldn't speak of HIM like that."

"Him?" Tim frowned.

"Kid…" Arthur interrupted nervously from the fence. They were getting caught up.

"I don't know what you mean." Ally was confused. "I can play an instrument. You know, in 4/4 time or whatever. I can beat time like that."

The Hatter smirked, "Beat Time? Oh my, no. He won't stand beating."

Tim laughed out loud.

"TIM…" Arthur repeated. "You're getting wrapped up in the scene. I thought the idea was to defeat the Hatter, not-"

"It's very rude to hover." The Hatter turned to Arthur bluntly. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"No thanks." Arthur swallowed nervously. "I'm good."

"Nonsense!" The March Hare and the Mad Hatter spoke together, instantaneously rising and unexpectedly ripping Arthur over the fence, throwing him into the chair between the two of them.

The Hatter immediately poured Arthur a cup of tea. The councilman looked as pale as death and did not drink it. He just stared at Jervis Tetch nervously. He'd never seen the man in person before. Just on television. It was terrifying!

The Hatter sighed and resumed the conversation: "I had a falling out with Time, you see, and now it's ALWAYS tea time. He just won't do a thing for me." And with that he began banging his pocket watch on the table.

Arthur tried to relax and take a sip of his tea. Just as his lips reached the china-

"Clean cup!" The Hatter shouted, grabbing him and yanking him into the next chair.

"Clean cup, clean cup, clean cup!" The March Hare ushered everyone around the table.

Hot tea spilled all over everyone and it certainly hurt.

Tim frowned. He was now stuck with Bullock's messy plate and dirty cup.

Then again, Summer wasn't too happy with Tim's dirty dishes either.

Ally didn't seem to mind. He absently had a dirty bowl on his head at present.

Arthur was still holding his tea cup. Though some of it had spilt and burned him.

"Ah, ah, ah!" The Hatter took his drink and handed it to the March Hare.

Arthur looked down at the Hatter's old cup. The tea was a sickening colour.

"WELL..." The Hatter said impatiently. Finally, he handed Arthur the cup.

Arthur choked out: "But there's butter in here. And something's floating-"

"Why, I never!" The Hatter stuck his nose up snootily again.

"What an ungracious guest." The March Hare whispered scandalously, a hand over his mouth.

"You, sir-" The Hatter started, clearly offended.

"Ok, ok." Arthur submitted quickly, drinking the disgusting mystery mix.

Summer, Tim and Bullock all stared at him with their eyes wide and their mouths open.

Even Ally had stopped playing in the sugar to watch.

Arthur made a horrible face. And then had a loud gag reflex. But he forced it back and tried to smile.

He had little choice. The Hatter was still glaring at him dangerously.

"Clean cup!" The March Hare shouted unexpectedly.

And the disgusting mix was splashed into Arthur's lap as he was thrown into the next chair.

The March Hare haphazardly spilled the milk jug all over Arthur's new plate.

Summer now had Bullock's messy plate. She frowned, "Why can't you eat like a human, Harv?"

Tim was reaching for a cinnamon bun, when the Hatter slapped his hand with a wooden spoon unexpectedly. "It's very rude to reach!" He snapped.

"OH. I'm sorry." Tim recoiled sheepishly.

Arthur cleared his throat and tried to regain control of the situation. His voice came out wobbling though. He was so unnerved by the super villain. "Um, I don't think-"

"Then you shouldn't speak." The Hatter interrupted bluntly.

"Let's have a story!" The March Hare interrupted.

Arthur looked back and forth between the two characters. He was trapped between them and he felt the fantasy closing in on him. He was so nervous he wanted to vomit! His stomach sank to his shoes.

If this was a battle, they were getting slaughtered. Hatter for the win.

* * *

Joker and Harley were watching the news. Summer Gleeson was on screen telling citizens to remain indoors as the streets were not safe. Fires were starting everywhere. Cars and buildings were demolished everywhere.

The police force wasn't doing anything. The emergency services were down.

Outside assistance was being called in…

Joker sighed, programming his remote. He had to make sure that all outsiders were quickly infected and added to his army of lunatics. Who knew how long he could keep this up for… He liked the idea of the military coming in to shut down this situation and then getting infected as well… They would try to help people and get infected... No one knew what was really happening, after all.

That thought was really something. This plan was actually really scary and dangerous.

"For once, Harley girl, we might have a winner." He said, smirking.

And then he remembered something and quickly grabbed his remote to do some additional programming.

"What?" Harley turned to him, trying to see what he was typing.

He smacked her away irritably.

Then he finally spoke: "I forgot to have Eddie leave Batman an annoyingly long and useless trail of clues to follow. A wild goose chase to heat things up again. Having Eddie hide with no clues may keep Batman BUSY. But it's BORING."

He finished typing and smiled: "I'd like to see this thing start to fall apart on me EVENTUALLY."

* * *

Unexpectedly, the Bat signal began to flash in Morse code.

_Thank God. _Batman was relieved. Things were really starting to unravel in Gotham and the Riddler had still not shown himself or left a trail.

"That's the good thing about Eddie…" Barbara turned to him. "Deep down he WANTS to get caught. So all we have to do it follow the trail and we'll be able to STOP all this."

Bruce didn't respond. He was too busy reading the message.

It kept repeating. Again and again.

"What's the clue?" She asked hopefully.

"SHH…" He was writing things down now… and thinking… and really, really thinking…

She knew it was a good idea to shut up and let him solve the riddle.

* * *

"No you don't!" Penguin hissed, firing some acid out of his umbrella.

Poison Ivy dodged and then kept coming.

"If you think I'm going to succumb to your little spell…" He glared furiously.

Ivy smiled wickedly. "Silly boy. I infected you when I first arrived. This is just horseplay now."

Penguin paled and for once was left without anything witty to say.

* * *

Word on the street was that Arkham, the jails, correctional facilities, etc, were all empty. The criminals had been set lose to terrorize the city.

Two Face decided to pop in and see if that was the case. Sure enough, the only people still within the walls of Arkham were the ones who couldn't function by themselves. They were like little lambs sitting there helplessly.

They had been abandoned by the staff and now sat alone and vulnerable.

Just what he was counting on. Perfect test subjects. They wouldn't even resist.

And fittingly, the first helpless prisoner he laid eyes on was an old 'friend'…

Gil Mason. Former deputy commissioner of the GCPD. Second only to Gordon during his tenure years ago. He had been a rising star in Gotham City back then. A real looker too.

Yet Mason had been corrupt. With Two Face's help, he had risen in the ranks and been given the credit for the fall of many mob bosses – including Thorne at one point. Mason had betrayed Gordon in the hopes of taking over his position as Commissioner.

But the Bats had interfered and Mason had been seriously injured. Comatose for years.

He'd eventually woken up with some brain damage. Just enough to not really remember who he was or what was what in the world anymore. He would eventually be functional and able to take care of himself, but right now he was pretty out of sorts.

Two Face loved his luck. This would be just lovely.

He smiled cruelly. "Heya, pretty boy. Remember me?"

* * *

Bullock slowly regained consciousness. It took him a moment to realize where he was and to remember what had happened…

He was tied up, sitting on his apartment floor. His head was pounding from the blow.

And then he saw her. Standing in the middle of the room dressed in black, her expression unreadable behind a white, porcelain mask. She was holding a scythe in a chilling manner.

He expected her to loom over him menacingly like an evil, psycho witch. He expected her to chuckle cruelly. To be demented and to cackle smugly.

And yet she was totally still and silent. Looking at him. It was extremely creepy.

It was like something out of a chilling horror movie. The suspense was unreal.

Harvey realized she was trembling as though enraged. Or maybe sick.

And then she let out an angry screech and kicked him in the head again.

It hurt and he saw flashes, but he refused to make a sound. He was too proud.

"F-ck you! Just f-ck you!" She screeched, landing a few more brutal blows.

Pulling back she pointed the scythe at him and through invisibly gritted teeth managed to angrily get out: "You mock me? You humiliate me? You tear off my mask and JUDGE me? You of ALL people? How dare you! Look at you! Look at your life, at how you live! You're disgusting! And pathetic! And – and – How DARE you make ME feel WORTHLESS! You haven't the right. You useless slob! You haven't the right…"

Her words came out funny, though, and he realized she was actually CRYING behind her mask. She was getting shaky. He could hear the tears in her wet voice.

Uh oh. She was totally unstable. And he had NO idea what to do.

He was never going to be able to talk his way out of this. He couldn't pacify calm, sane criminals. He just didn't have that skill. And he was useless with women.

So how could he possibly reach this deranged, hurting girl?

He couldn't. He was doomed. He was really gonna lose his head. This was it.

"How dare you!" She kicked him brutally in the head again.

Harvey figured his nose was broken, but he was in no position to check.

He suspected his annoying voice would send her off the deep end… well, further off the deep end… But he had to TRY to save himself. Right? Somehow?

"Paige, listen…" He started cautiously, not sure what to say.

"SHUT UP!" She snapped viciously, her voice still wet. She was still crying.

"I wasn't judging you." He said softly.

That was a LIE. He judged all the freaks and wackos, as he so politely referred to them. Especially the ones in masks. And _especially_ the ex-super model types with no credibility. How could you take an Easter egg throwing ex-model seriously? OY.

Oh hell, who was he kidding? He'd mocked her on national television several times. And he had torn off her mask in a particularly unkind manner. Twice. And she hated that above all things. Her face being exposed. Eesh.

"_Have you read her her rights? GOOD. Then she knows they don't include THIS." _

_And he heartlessly ripped off her mask, despite her shrieking bloody murder._

Ya. He was dead.

"LIAR!" She shrieked.

"Look… Paige… I know you're upset…" Oh God. He sucked at this. "…But you really aren't ugly. Trust me."

She said nothing. She was all shaky.

"You're looking at a guy who KNOWS ugly, ok?" His eyes motioned to himself in a very serious way. He was trying to level with her here.

He wasn't sure what effect it had, coz she was still silent.

Something seemed wrong with her. She was kind of swaying as though sick!

"_One thing's for sure… This Calendar Girl's days are numbered." He told the cameras. _

Oy-yoy-yoy. The more he thought about it the more hopeless things seemed.

And yet, he tried anyway: "Look, I know I've been a real bastard, ok? But I'm always like that. It's not personal. It just ticks me off a gorgeous gal like you-"

"SHUT UP!" She startled him by suddenly snapping back into the conversation. Something was wrong with her. Her shaking didn't seem normal.

"You aren't ugly. You're gorgeous. I swear to God!"

"SHUT UP!" She slapped him across the face really hard.

And then she scowled dangerously, "You'll say anything now. Anything."

And then his voice was suddenly on the television set. It was still on.

They both looked over.

OH… NO…

It was the news and it was all those questions about Calendar Girl.

He prayed they wouldn't show the Ally Knox portion. The negative, bad stuff.

A young reporter asked: "Is it true she's hideous after botched plastic surgery?"

"Nah, she's gorgeous." Bullock had answered with an indifference that was sincere.

Paige was staring at the television silently. She had absolutely heard it.

He hoped this bought him some time. Or curried some favour. Or something that meant not dying.

And then her knees unexpectedly buckled and she fell to the ground.

They were sitting there together on the floor in silence.

She really was sick. There was no doubt anymore. He could hear her breathing. It sounded really ragged.

After a moment, she startled him by vomiting. It smelt awful, but he was grateful that she was sick. This meant he might not die after all.

And then she slowly drifted until she was lying down.

He could still hear her uneven breathing. She was in rough shape, clearly. What the heck?

The scythe was lying on the ground beside her…

Harvey watched her intently for a moment. He didn't want to try for it until he was absolutely certain he was going to succeed. There was no turning back after he committed.

And then he scooted over and lay on his back and worked at sawing away the cables with the extremely sharp, shining blade.

He sat for a moment, rubbing his sore wrists. And then he looked upwards and tipped his hat casually in a gesture of thanks to the Heavens. Paige Monroe collapsing just before she was going to decapitate him was the best fortune he'd had… well… EVER…

As Harvey stood, he was wobbly. He realized he felt pretty sick himself.

But he had to tie Paige up or something while he waited for help to arrive… then again… she was kinda dying or something… ummmm… What was he supposed to do?

Harvey decided to handcuff her to the radiator for a minute. Just to think of something else. He couldn't risk her waking up and murdering him, after all.

And then he picked up the scythe, broke the handle over his knee easily and walked out on the balcony.

Holy CRAP. The evening was illuminated by tons of fires everywhere. Help could be a long time in coming. Maybe he should take her to the station… or the hospital… or SOMETHING. She couldn't stay unconscious on his apartment floor like this…

He made sure no one was looking and then tossed the scythe into the dumpster below. Couldn't have her waking up and finding that still available somewhere in his apartment. It was bad enough is kitchen was full of deadly knives. He needed to be careful of her.

He remembered Rusty. His dog had disappeared. Likely killed by Calendar Girl.

Checking under his bed, he found the little dog curled up, trembling. There was a horrible smell under there and he realized the dog had been sick out both ends several times. It wasn't shaking with fear. It was really, really ill.

"Bitch drugged my dog." He muttered to himself, on his knees.

He pulled Rusty out from under the bed. Well, at least the little guy was alive. Sort of. Rusty was super, super sick. Yikes. Maybe the dog had been poisoned and would die.

Harvey walked back out into the common space, leaving Rusty on the bed.

He pulled his cell out of his pants pocket and… UM… What?

No signal. At all. That never happened anywhere in town.

He went over the landline and immediately found the phone was dead.

Ok. He was going to have to drive the girl somewhere. And Rusty somewhere. And… and then he remembered that the city was in TOTAL chaos… Driving in that nightmare would be extremely dangerous. Possibly suicidal.

He went back out on the balcony and his concern was confirmed. Every single car on the street was totally trashed. Including his own. There was no way anyone in the area was driving anywhere. That option was officially out.

And it was way too far to carry a dying girl on foot. Way too far.

Harvey removed Paige's mask and saw she was sweaty and red. Fever.

He went into the bathroom to look for a thermometer. He suspected he didn't have one. He wasn't all that organized or responsible or… OH. There was one.

The detective stuck the thermometer in her mouth and waited. Hopefully it would give a proper reading… and it did…CRAP! 107.

ACK! People died at way, way less than that. She really WAS dying!

Without hesitating, he started filling his bathtub with cold water. He didn't have much experience with caring for the sick, but he'd watched enough television to have some sense of how to proceed. There was an episode of _House _where they'd put a girl in a tub of ice to try to save her from a death fever. Or something like that. Maybe. Eesh.

He ran to the freezer as the tub filled and pulled out several trays and bags of ice cubes. Fortunately for Monroe, he liked his booze on the rocks… so he had a ridiculous amount of ice in there…

Harvey tossed it all in the tub and then ran back to grab any bags of frozen vegetables or water proof containers of frozen food or whatever. He needed a trillion super cold things and he needed them like yesterday!

And then he unlocked the hand cuffs and picked up Paige. He was a little nervous about putting her in the tub. He wondered if the extreme cold with such an extreme fever might shock her and kill her right away. He had NO clue what to expect.

He put her in the water gently and hoped for the best. He actually cringed at first.

After a moment, he decided to start putting ice on her face and neck, etc.

Harvey took her temperature again and it still read 107. He needed to be patient.

But he felt pretty crappy himself. Instinctively, he took his own temperature. 102.

Great. He, Paige and Rusty. They were all sick and dying together. Just freakin' fantastic.

Another typical chapter in his crappy life. If he wasn't being fed to Farmer Brown's gigantic mutants or being hung over a shark tank by a homicidal clown or being attacked by a werewolf or man-bat… or being framed by a crocodile man… or being replaced by a robot… or hanging over a tank of lava in a humiliating costume… or having his landlord try to murder him coz he was such an obnoxious slob or… ACK! The list was endless and just SO bad… Nothing seemed impossible anymore.

The point was lying on his bathroom floor dying alongside of killer supermodel and a dog from some horrendous plague during a time of total chaos fit right in. It was just another chapter of this pathetic soap opera. Eesh.

_Why did I never get outta this town? _It was a laughable question. He had nothing else.

He put some ice on the back of his neck and tried to think of what the hell to do.

And then he held some ice to Paige's neck and tried to think of what the hell to do.

Could anything be done? Was it just a matter of hoping they could weather the storm?

They needed to drink lots of water. So he took a big swig of cold water and then tried to help Paige, but it was no good. He couldn't get any in her mouth. He didn't know what the hell he was doing.

Eventually, his fever rose to 104. Paige's dropped to 105. Still deadly, though.

And things blurred after that. He started to fall asleep beside the tub.

His head resting on the cold, white porcelain, he drifted away…

* * *

The doormouse was telling a story.

Bullock was sleeping. Tim was playing with his food. Arthur and Summer were at least trying to pretend to politely listen.

Ally was quite restless and the Hatter repeatedly had to strike him with the wooden spoon to keep him from distracting everyone else. It would have been amusing, but Arthur was too nervous to pay attention.

"And what kind of well was it?" Summer asked politely.

"Oh, you know…" The mouse said absently. "A treacle well."

"Treacle?" Summer was confused. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Treacle!" The Hatter snapped. "Are you totally incompetent?"

Summer's eyes were on Arthur, silently asking him to intervene. Surely he would interject or explain or-

But Arthur had NO IDEA what treacle was. And he was afraid of the Hatter.

So Summer cleared her throat and asked another question: "And what did they live on?"

"Treacle, of course!" The mouse was astounded she'd ask such a stupid question.

The Hatter and the Hare began killing themselves LAUGHING at her. They smacked their knees and slapped each other's backs. It was just that funny.

"I don't understand…" Summer said helplessly, wanting to cry.

"You really ARE stupid, aren't you?" The March Hare wheezed out as he laughed.

"I don't know what it is either." Tim frowned.

"Ally probably knows." Arthur muttered bitterly. The sane Ally Knox was like an encyclopedia of useless information. And even the crazy Knox randomly piped up with all kinds of trivia.

"Ally…" Summer turned to the journalist. He was building a castle out of sugar cubes.

"ALLY." Tim snapped. "What's treacle?"

"Oh. It's like molasses." The reporter said simply.

"A well of molasses?" Summer said incredulously. "That's ridiculous."

"THAT part is ridiculous?" Arthur snorted. "Who lives at the bottom of ANY kind of well? The whole story is just-"

"Well then, you'd best finish it for yourselves then!" The mouse huffed, very offended.

"Why, I never!" The Hatter was also offended. "How extremely rude!"

"I'm sorry." Summer frowned. "I'm sure people live at the bottom of wells of molasses. Or at least one family did. This family."

"Indeed." The mouse sniffed.

"Have some more tea." The Hatter told Arthur.

"But I haven't had any yet." Arthur was anxious. "How can I have MORE if you haven't let me have any yet? You always shift around the places-"

"Ah, ah, ah. You can always take MORE. You just can't take less."

"What?" Arthur was thoroughly confused.

"That's idiotic." Summer snapped, her tone conveying her dislike for the Hatter.

"A-ha!" The Hatter stood up triumphantly. "Who is making personal remarks NOW?"

* * *

Batgirl was carefully lifting every single cobblestone tile in a large courtyard, expecting a clue to be underneath one.

Batman was trying to do a calculation to determine precisely what stone tile it was to save time. She hadn't wanted to wait. People were dying.

"This one." Bruce said unexpectedly and lifted the stone.

Sure enough, there was a little green and black note under the stone tile. There were little question marks all over it and there was absolutely no doubt what it was.

Upon reading the clue, Batman didn't even hesitate. He jumped into the car, ready to go.

"Where are we going?" Barbara demanded.

"To the Iceberg Lounge." Batman was blunt.

"Penguin's place? Why would he send us there?"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Batman and Batgirl were creeping silently around a darkened club. It was after hours and the place was closed and empty.

And then suddenly the lights snapped on.

Penguin and some hench-girls were standing there smugly waiting for them.

"AH! Batman. How do you like my virus?"

Batman glared dangerously. He was growing very tired of this.

Batgirl sighed loudly. "This game is getting old, Eddie."

* * *

Jonathan Crane was startled by Two Face bursting through the door.

Dent tossed a young man on the floor with unnecessary force.

"I've got a whole truck full of mental patients like this. None of 'em have lights on upstairs." Harvey Dent spoke unkindly. "Easy to catch, easy to experiment on."

Crane looked down at the frightened fellow on the floor and smiled wickedly. He loved frightening people and experimenting on them. "Thank you." He turned to Dent.

"Just do your part!" Two Face snapped harshly and then slammed the door. He was going back out to the truck…

* * *

The edge of the porcelain tub was nice and cold. Harvey partially woke for a second when his hand slipped into the ice water, but then he drifted away again.

Paige was half awake and very red and sweaty. She was in the grip of a death fever.

In her dream state, she was unable to really think or act. Her vision was strange. But it registered that she was in an ice tub and that her enemy was inches away from her.

He could kill her if he wanted to. And yet, he wasn't moving.

Her hand went up to his neck to see if he was alive. She couldn't tell.

And that used about all of her mental and physical energy. She didn't even pull her hand away. Instead her icy hand was absently on his neck and in his hair. Her thoughts were too disjointed to even consider it.

She was starting to see things, faces maybe, coming out of the walls. She kept drifting away and then slamming back hard, startling herself as if just jarred awake. Her heartbeat was erratic. She could feel it thumping irregularly. Racing at one moment and fading another. But she was too sick to really connect the dots.

A loud explosion outside caused Harvey to stir a little. And then another explosion.

He felt a cold, soft hand in his wet hair. He left it alone as it felt nice.

Paige's pulse was all over the place. The towel on the towel rack looked very strange. Her vision was all filled with shadows and flashes and she wasn't seeing properly.

Half asleep, Harvey felt cold feminine fingers on his neck. The greater part of his brain was enjoying it. An undercurrent of dread was creeping in, however, as this was not a normal state of affairs for him. Something was obviously amiss. Women didn't touch him like this. And on some level he recalled danger…

Yet, starved for affection, the overriding sense was to just drift and enjoy a pleasant dream.

Paige was suddenly startled by something coming out the wall – oranges? She grabbed Harvey's hair with a loud, frightened gasp. And then her sharp nails gashed his neck, trying to grip.

"ACK!" Harvey sat up, hand on his neck. He saw some blood and slowly began to return to himself. It took him a moment for things to click.

There was a murderer in his apartment. He had been vulnerable and asleep when-

And then he realized Paige was having convulsions! Full blown convulsions!

"Oh shit, oh shit…" He sprang to his feet, not sure what to do. What did one do?

First Aid, First Aid… um… make sure she didn't hit anything and just ride it out? Was that right? He couldn't remember, despite annual training. And maybe he'd gotten the seizure question wrong anyway. Tests weren't his strong suit, after all.

He helplessly watched the beautiful brunette in his bathtub shake like she was dying.

* * *

"There's no one to hand Penguin over to." Barbara sounded dismayed.

Batman motioned to the sky. The Bat signal was flashing rapidly again.

"What is it now?" She frowned, feeling tired and hungry. And above all, discouraged.

"He's trying to direct us to another distraction. Probably Killer Moth. Maybe Killer Croc. It doesn't matter. We're not going."

"Riddler is really messing with us this time." She agreed miserably.

"He'll send that message for quite some time to ensure we get it. Let's try to surprise him, or his messenger, at the police station."

* * *

Edward wandered along for a good hour before coming to a beautiful garden of rose bushes. This was clearly the domain of the Queen of Hearts. An audience with her meant certain death. THIS had been designed as the showdown, not the Hatter's little party.

He turned around abruptly and started walking the other way.

And then he grabbed his head and had a bad spasm.

OW! A sneeze? What?

He'd seen a flash of some large, open room. Maybe a warehouse?

* * *

Arthur watched Tim, the Hare and the Hatter laughing away the hours. This was NOT good. This had been Tim Drake's idea and now it was all going to hell. Just as he'd predicted. Gloating would have been so sweet, but he was too freaked out. There were in serious danger. He didn't want to die, damn it.

He decided to try to slip Tim a message. So he carefully, under the table, started writing on a napkin. He couldn't look at what he was writing. He hoped it was legible. And then he tried to slip it to Timothy as discreetly as possible.

It seemed to work for a moment. Tim looked at the napkin. He seemed to read it.

And then he set aside absently.

Arthur nearly choked.

Ally grabbed up the napkin and read loudly: "WE – HAVE – TO –ESCAPE. WE ARE ROMANCED. Errr, I mean, ENTRANCED…"

The journalist scratched his head. "Tough to read this handwriting. Hm."

The Hatter took the napkin from Ally and read it. He sighed, folding it. "It all makes sense now, I'm afraid. It couldn't be more clear."

Arthur's heart seemed to stop beating. His throat tightened.

The Hatter turned to him unkindly, "It's just as I feared, young man. You're no gentleman a'tall. You're not even literate."

The March Hare snatched the napkin and smiled a large, insincere smile. "Well, well, it seems someone needs to practice his penmanship."

And a deadly sharp pen emerged instantly from Hatter's wrist. The sort of quill Joker stabbed people through the throat with.

Arthur flinched and thought he might be physically ill. His pulse raced.

The March Hare folded the napkin. "Yes, yes. TERRIBLE cursive writing."

"Well, then…" The Hatter loomed over Arthur darkly. "We'll have to fix that, won't we?"

And then he abruptly forced the pen into Arthur's hands and started helping him write on the tablecloth carefully. Aa. Bb. Cc. Dd.

"There we go. See how easy that is?" The Hatter was smirking.

Reeves was shocked. He couldn't speak. He still expected the pen to go through his throat. They were waiting until his guard was down and then WHAM. Dead.

But nothing came of it. And the incident was soon forgotten and Hatter was singing a few little songs for them…

And Arthur felt sleepier and sleepier…

He looked to Summer. She seemed to still be lucid and afraid. The girl nodded to him cautiously to let him know she got what he meant and was still onboard.

Bullock was asleep across from him. As usual, his fedora was over his eyes.

Arthur decided to kick the detective hard in the leg and see what happened…

Harvey woke abruptly, startled. And then he said: "I think I'm dying somewhere."

And then he looked around and realized they were all sitting at the Mad Tea Party. His expression was priceless. He HAD to stop falling asleep and waking up surrounded by random talking animals. These train rides and tea parties were driving him crazy.

Arthur recognized the conscious look in the cop's eyes and was relieved. Bullock was obviously also going to be onboard for an escape.

So… three out of five wasn't bad… Maybe they could escape yet…

* * *

Paige had simmered down a bit, but her fever was still **deadly**. Varying between 105 and 106 at the moment. She was still very red and sweaty. But even in her feverish delirium, she was absolutely beautiful.

He had checked his freezer and the next ice cubes weren't nearly ready. And he didn't have anymore bags of frozen food to toss in the tub. The water wasn't going to stay cold enough for much longer. And it wasn't working anyway. He had to think of something or she would succumb to the fever!

He felt totally useless. And he felt rather hot and achy himself. He was still at 104.

Going back into the bathroom, he touched Paige's neck with the back of his hand. She let out a soft little sound that indicated she was still totally brain messed. Oy. He fully expected her to die.

Harvey sat down again and went back to putting cold water on her face and neck. But it was halfhearted. He really expected her to die. Who could handle such a high fever for that long?

He tried to get her to drink some cold water, but it didn't work out so well. She still hadn't taken in any water. His gut told him she was gonna slip away soon.

Even if she managed to survive this… she was going to have brain damage. He felt a sharp twinge of discomfort at the thought. But what could he do? He couldn't really get her to a hospital. Having her in this tub was likely better than carrying her out into the streets. He couldn't call for help. There was no one around to approach…

He had to stop feeling GUILTY. There was nothing he could do differently, damn it.

Her brown eyes opened and she actually looked him in the face for a moment. He felt extremely anxious suddenly. When he realized her eyes were actually SEEING him and her brain was registering something… well, he felt nervous… She was going to die.

"Why are you helping me?" She asked weakly. "I was murdering you."

He had no answer. 'Coz it's the right thing to do' sounded really cheesy and insincere coming from a sketchy jerk like him. Yikes. How awkward.

Finally, moving the ice to her neck, he answered: "What kinda cop would I be if I just watched you die on my floor?"

He tried to get her to drink while see seemed somewhat conscious. It worked.

Her eyes were growing unfocused again. The moment of clarity passed. She seemed to drift away into sleep again.

He found himself touching her face. She was still on fire. He suspected those would be her last words. She was fading and would soon be gone.

He needed to get more water down her throat-

"HELP!"

The detective froze. He turned around and looked into his apartment.

"HELP!"

It was coming from the street. He'd left the balcony door open and the sound was carrying. There had been a lot of explosions and commotion out there. Someone was obviously in the street just below. In trouble.

Hesitantly, he left Paige alone to investigate.

He suspected it wasn't a great idea to leave an unconscious person alone in a bathtub. She might not stay sitting up. She might go into bad convulsions again. But someone was clearly in danger. He had to do something if he could.

* * *

Edward found Pamela in the garden of talking flowers. No surprise there.

The second he decided he was calm and collected again and wanted to find her, he had just waltzed over to the exact location knowingly. It didn't take a super genius to know she'd be there. But it did take one to navigate through this stupid place. There were distractions everywhere. It was so annoying. And he was technically to blame.

Pamela was chatting with a beautiful pansy girl.

Edward recognized the other girl immediately as the singer from the Iceberg Lounge. He couldn't remember her name. Something sexy that was likely a phony stage name. She had dirty blonde hair. Even before this flower job, she'd had flowers in her hair at the lounge. The men liked it, probably. The girl was generally quite fashionable, with big beautiful eyes and flowing hair. She reminded him of one of those annoying Brats dolls.

Jack must have hired her for the park. Maybe she wanted to escape working at Penguin's club. Singing for criminals couldn't have been her ideal job. Few aspired for that. She'd likely wanted to escape the world of organized crime and had approached the park position as a chance for a better life. Poor thing had unwittingly walked into a death trap.

Ivy noticed Ed and turned to him, batting her eyelashes. "Do I know you?"

He hated to do it, but – SMACK!

The lounge singer screamed and leapt away in alarm.

Pamela held her head a moment and then glared up at Edward dangerously.

"Ah, good. I see you're back." He smiled handsomely.

* * *

Bullock cautiously went onto his balcony and immediately spotted a woman struggling down the street. She was limping, clearly having been in a car accident.

Two men were following her menacingly. She kept looking back, frightened, and then struggling onward, trying to get away despite her bad limp.

"Somebody help me, PLEASE!" She screamed, sounding as though she was starting to cry in desperation.

What the hell was wrong with this town? The streets were torn apart and all burning and messed up like they were in some apocalyptic movie. The people were going insane and attacking each other. It was chaos. All the vehicles were demolished. All the store windows were smashed. Lamp posts were ripped down. Fire hydrants were destroyed, water shooting everywhere.

Before he even processed what he was doing, the detective found himself flying down the stair well with a revolver. He kicked the door open with his foot aggressively and was on the street.

The crazed men didn't seem to have any weapons… and he really felt SICK… so he decided to just try to intimidate them instead of actually brawling. As much as he actually kinda enjoyed roughing people up, he just wasn't up for it now.

"Eh!" He shouted, firing several shots at the ground before their feet.

The young men took off instantly and the woman rushed towards him.

She threw herself at him unexpectedly. "Oh thank GOD!" She was tearful, clutching him. "I know you. You're a cop!"

He blinked, surprised by her embrace and trying to figure out where he knew her from.

Her face was familiar… the voice kinda too…

And then he realized she was **Veronica Vreeland**. Woah. She was an extremely rich and popular aristocrat who moved in the most elite circles of Gotham.

He hadn't recognized her at first because she looked like she'd been to hell and back. She was dirty and bloody and her clothing was torn. Her red hair was wild and filthy. One look at her leg told the story. She'd been in an accident and she needed medical attention.

When he didn't speak, she instantly became nervous. So many cops had gone insane and were destroying the city. Was he an ally or an enemy?

She pulled away and spoke nervously: "We've got to get off the streets! It isn't safe out here. People are killing each other at random! Even cops are killing and looting."

He frowned, looking down his devastated street. What the hell? This neighbourhood had been pretty bad and sketchy before, but this was downright ridiculous.

Whatever the hell was happening… some super villain was obviously winning…

He turned to Veronica, "Do you know how to treat sickness?"

She touched his forehead, surprising him again. "You do look pretty sick."

He spoke irritably: "Not me! I've got some girl dying in my apartment."

Awkward.

"Well, let's just get off the street." Veronica frowned. She started trying to walk towards the door he'd kicked open… but she was limping badly…

"Hold on." He scooped her up and carried her inside and up the stairs.

He was somewhat embarrassed at the prospect of having the richest woman in Gotham in his disgusting, bare bones apartment. But there was nothing for it.

Sure enough, the second she realized she was entering a private residence, Veronica gasped loudly: "THIS is where you LIVE?"

He then dropped her on the couch unceremoniously. It was started already. She wasn't in the place FIVE SECONDS and she was already at it.

Harvey saw her looking around at his crappy place, but she held her tongue and didn't say anything else for the moment. She was likely just grateful to be out of the dangerous streets during these scary times. The apartment was barebones with hardly any furniture at all. The walls, floors and ceilings were crap. Holes, etc. He obviously hadn't taken his garbage out recently. Blah.

But thankfully, she was silent. She looked around in shock, but she was silent.

It was an awkward silence. For sure.

She tried to smile. But it came out funny. Insincere. Finally, "My name's Ronnie."

And then Bullock remembered Paige Monroe left totally alone in a very full tub.

"Shoot!" He bolted for the bathroom.

Sure enough, an unconscious Paige had slipped under the water. She looked as though she was sleeping underwater and had been there for some time.

OH MY GOD.

* * *

In the shadows, someone was clicking the Bat signal off and on systemically.

Batman and Batgirl sprang onto the roof to take the individual by surprise.

Commissioner Gordon turned: "Ah! Batman! How do you like my virus?"

Batman wanted to scream, but swallowed his anger immediately.

Barbara whistled nervously. "Riddler's pulling out all the stops this time."

Riddler had the entire city under his control. And he actually didn't seem to WANT to be caught this time. Things were looking very bleak suddenly.

Only, the Bats didn't know the half of it.

As Joker continued to program random citizens and super villains to leave riddles and continue the red herrings… a virus Eddie was holed up somewhere, smiling into thin air, ready to say: _'Ah! Batman! How do you like my virus?'_ …


	9. Robin, Riddler and a Reunion of Villains

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 9: Robin, Riddler and a Reunion of Villains**

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.**

**A/N: Sorry for the typos! ... So ya, I'm totally trying to get as many characters in this story as possible... haha **

* * *

Where the hell was the Mayor? Where were the police and the emergency services?

City Hall was abandoned. With all the people who worked in the enormous building it was frightening to find the place silent and empty.

But that's what Arthur Reeves was discovering floor after floor. He was alone.

It wasn't safe to use the elevator, as the power kept coming and going, so he was using the stairwell. "Hello?" he kept calling. No one. The place was ghostly.

Something really terrible was happening… everyone was gone…

The lights would go off and he would nervously stay still waiting in the darkness. Then they would flicker back to life slowly and he would thank God. It was like the sinking Titanic... or the dying City of Ember...

Was nobody running this town during this crisis? Apparently not.

And then he came across a little group of individuals. Likely administrative staff. Receptionists, clerks, etc. They were huddled, whispering anxiously. One girl was crying.

"A councilor!" An older man broke from the circle. He sounded relieved.

"Where is everyone?" Arthur asked, trying to sound calm, cool and collected.

"That's what we were going to ask you." The man sounded disappointed. "The entire building is empty. The phones, internet, radio, television – everything is down. The power keeps going out. What the hell is going on?"

"I have no idea." Arthur answered honestly. "I can't find anyone either and I haven't felt suicidal enough to explore outside. Something is wrong out there."

"Where could the Mayor be?" A woman asked anxiously. "No one is DOING anything."

"The mayor's probably dead." A crotchety fellow muttered.

"Well…" Arthur sounded confident. "Surely outside intervention is going to come soon. This kind of horror can't go unobserved."

"Shouldn't someone try to calm the people? Give them some instructions?" The tearful young woman asked.

A young intern spoke up enthusiastically. "I'm a real techie. I was just telling these guys how I could probably patch into a television signal… I mean, I've never really done it before… but I know how to in theory… I think."

"You think?" Arthur was skeptical.

"Well, I know how the Joker keeps doing it." The youth frowned. "He's always coming on television randomly. It isn't THAT hard."

Arthur suddenly realized that as the only acting member of the city government, HE would be the one on television calling the shots. He would be the one in the lime light, taking on the heroic leadership role during this crisis.

His long-term goal had always been to run for Mayor. This kind of thing could really fast track him. This would be GREAT for his image.

"Ok, let's do this. We need to calm people down." He tried to sound as though he was actually thinking of others.

* * *

Ivy remembered everything now and was absolutely livid. She and Edward had been fighting for almost an hour now. It had started with actual blows… and he didn't have his Riddle Cane, so he'd been losing… But now it had simmered down into a verbal confrontation.

"Look, I'm SORRY, ok? I can't take it back. I can't change it now. We just have to move forward and try to work together to survive!" Eddie sounded exasperated.

"Why didn't you approach ME with this awesome plan? Why JACK? Of course that horrible clown would feed you to your own monster. What were you thinking!"

"How many times do I have to tell you – there's no justification for my actions! I make no excuses. All we can do now is move forward and focus on survival. I don't know about you, Ivy, but I don't fancy losing myself to this place."

Ivy scowled loudly and looked away. He knew she'd come around in a little while. He understood this place better than anyone and she didn't want to die.

He would just be quiet and let her stew a little longer until she was finally ready to swallow her pride and anger and get on with things.

But unexpectedly, a red knight trotted up to them.

"CHECK!" He shouted valiantly. He was speaking to Poison Ivy.

Ivy blinked, totally perplexed.

Edward, who'd designed the game, knew precisely what to do. He stepped forward towards the red knight and said: "CHECK."

The knight took a step back, as though trying to figure out what to do next.

Suddenly, a red bishop ran across the grass shouting, "CHECK!"

"Oh LORD…" Edward put his face in his hand. "This could take a while…"

* * *

Two Face pulled another patient from his truck. Forcing the confused and frightened man inside, he found Jonathan Crane dissecting the corpse of a young man.

Of the fourteen test subjects Two Face had brought Scarecrow, five out of five experimented on had died so far. Crane was trying to learn from these failures as quickly as possible.

"Hm… It's very, very tricky…" The former professor looked up. "A delicate balance. Hard to prevent them from going into cardiac arrest."

'Well, keep trying. I can always go out and get more." Two Face growled.

"Oh, two of these men don't appear to have the virus." Crane remembered.

"How was I supposed to know?" Dent became defensive.

"Relax. It's a very good thing. I'm going to GIVE them the virus and study how it takes hold. It could prove beneficial for finding-"

"Just don't dick around too long! The Bats could show."

"I know. I'm just-"

"Just make something happen!" Two Face barked and slammed the door again, going back out to his truck. There were still a few patients out there, including Gil Mason.

Crane sighed. "What a temper."

* * *

The young intern was hooking up a bunch of cords.

Reeves was writing a speech. He rarely needed to plan his words in advance, but this was important.

The others were sitting around on the floor, waiting aimlessly.

One man muttered, "It could be an act of war… or terrorism…"

The intern spoke up, "Or an alien invasion."

"Aliens?" The man smirked. "That's like proposing it's a ZOMBIE attack."

"Could be." The kid shrugged.

Arthur looked up from his pad of paper. "Aliens? Zombies? Are you serious?"

"Well, probably not zombies, but maybe aliens." The kid was defensive. "I doubt we're alone in the universe. Think of all those planets out there. How many are the same distance from a star as we are? Some must be…"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Just work on the TV signal, ok, kid?"

"It could be!" The crotchety older man snarled. "It's like the movies, isn't it? Something's REALLY, really wrong…"

"It's ALWAYS like the movies in this town!" Arthur snapped. "Something's ALWAYS really, really wrong. Nothing should faze you people anymore. I fully freaking expect a troll to crawl out of the sewers to mug me!"

"But this does remind me of all those alien movies…" A young woman frowned.

Arthur slammed his pad down: "Oh – My – God. Did you people just move here? This is GOTHAM. Until we take back our city from the lunatics, we're always going to live in fear. This is just another lunatic in a mask trying to kill us all! OK?"

"Well, whoever is doing this…" The intern frowned. "They're winning."

That silenced everyone.

* * *

Bullock's heart slammed up into his throat, thundering. Paige Monroe was lying underwater on the bottom of the bathtub. No air bubbles, nothing. She looked as though she was sleeping. Like a princess under glass.

Panicked, he instantly ripped her out of the water, falling with her on the wet floor.

He lay her down on her back and started trying to revive her.

Veronica had limped to the doorway and was freaking out unhelpfully. But he was completely tuning her out now. He had seconds to try to save this woman.

He breathed some air into the Paige's lungs…

She wasn't dead yet. And her colour was still good. Not blue or pale or anything.

Her odds of surviving near drowning were greatly diminished by the fact she had such a lethal fever. She'd been dying already. The odds of-

Veronica was screaming at him. Paige was dying under him.

He just kept trying to revive her. Adrenaline was seeing him through the alarm and stress.

His messy wet hair dripped over her pretty face. He was trembling. Her lips were still burning hot with fever.

Veronica was silent now, but he didn't notice one way or another. He was so locked in the moment…

Just as his lips were about to touch hers again –

She coughed a large splash of lung water directly into his face. It was warm and gross from having been inside her.

Paige instinctively turned onto her side and continued to hack, more water coming out.

As she tried to sit up, her hand unthinkingly went to Harvey's face. With this expressive touch, he realized she was going to be alright after all.

Very relieved, he actually smiled. And Paige saw this smile, despite her painful coughing fit. Her hand stayed on his face a moment.

She continued to hack violently. In the end, she couldn't stay sitting up. She was just too sick. She drifted back down to the wet floor, still feverish.

Harvey was watching her intently… and then he remembered Veronica.

Veronica Vreeland was just standing there staring at them.

His cheeks suddenly burned and he was extremely embarrassed.

He dipped his hand in the tub and realized that water wasn't cold enough anymore. And Paige had clearly had enough water for now. Jeez.

He carried her into the living room and set her on the couch.

"What do you know about fevers?" He turned to Veronica awkwardly.

"Not much." The red head answered truthfully. She took the thermometer off the coffee table and stuck it into Paige's mouth. After a moment, she was very alarmed: "106!"

"That's an improvement." Harvey said gravely. "She was 107 before."

"Oh my GOD, when we the last time she had a fever reducer?"

"Huh?"

Veronica's jaw dropped and her eyes were wide. "You haven't given her anything!"

"What can we give her?"

"You idiot!" Veronica limped into the bathroom and started rummaging through the medicine cabinet. After a frustrated moment she shouted, "Have you no MOTRIN?"

"Umm…" Harvey wasn't sure. He ran into the bedroom and opened the drawer of his bedside table. Sure enough, a bottle of Motrin shuffled about. He pulled it out and found it was nearly full.

"Is it expired?" Veronica snatched the bottle from him skeptically. He didn't know the answer. He didn't really worry about expiry dates. He was totally disorganized and clueless about a lot of these sorts of things.

And she could see that now. She'd taken one look at his life and realized he was hopeless. She glared at him now in a way that indicated she thought he was totally irresponsible and pathetic.

Clearly he hadn't scored any points for reviving a drowning woman. It seemed no matter how good he was at some things, people couldn't get past his failings…

And then Veronica noticed Rusty dying on the bed. "Oh my God! This dog-"

"I know, I know…" Harvey started. Great. Just great. He'd forgotten Rusty.

"Well, at least give it some water or something! What the hell is wrong with you!"

Harvey bit his tongue. Now wasn't the time to argue. He wanted to throttle Vreeland, but instead he moved Rusty's water bowl onto the bed beside the sick little guy.

Ronnie was limping slowly back to the couch with the bottle. It wasn't expired.

The detective petted his little dog and said very quietly, "Sorry, buddy. Too many people were dying at once." Between Paige and Veronica's troubles, he'd completely forgotten about the dog. And now he felt like crap over it. But seriously – Veronica had been being attacked and Paige was dying and ACK! He just couldn't WIN.

"Get some water!" Ronnie shouted from the living room.

She had reached Paige, who was still somewhat conscious. Her eyes were dull and she looked like she was going to throw up or something. She was getting all red and sweaty again already.

Veronica stopped, looking at the girl and then she looked at Harvey. She seemed uncomfortable suddenly. She slapped the bottle into his chest. "You coax her into taking one. You know her."

Harvey blinked. Did he look like a _people person_? What the hell?

This was going to be impossible. He had barely been able to get Paige to drink water once or twice. How was he going to get her to take pills?

Coaxing was another area he had no natural aptitude for. He disgusted any women he tried to win over… ugh… This was going to be bad…

Veronica realized he was struggling with the concept and also got down on her knees. "What's her name?" She asked.

"Paige."

"Paige, honey, we need you to swallow some medicine to bring down your fever."

* * *

"It's important that everyone stays calm and remains indoors…" Arthur Reeves was on television speaking solemnly.

"Not THIS guy…" Harley Quinn frowned. "He's SO annoying."

Joker turned and saw that the television was working again. What?

"Oh, Arturo, you devil." The clown smirked.

He then turned to Harley, "This guy is as hard to kill as Batman. How many injections will it take?"

"He's trying to instill hope in the people. Can I turn it off?" Harley sounded annoyed.

"Oh, no, no." The Joker grinned. "I've got a much better idea."

And with that he began programming into his controller.

"Telling him to jump off a bridge?" Harley was hopeful.

"No, no. I'd much rather ruin his life first." Joker smiled evilly.

* * *

"Do you think people got that?" Arthur turned away from the camera.

"I dunno. The power kept coming and going." The intern frowned.

"Can we try radio?" Arthur envisioned his voice filling homes.

"Um… that's not my area…" The boy continued to frown. Arthur was proving to be demanding and ungrateful and he didn't even bother to remember the kid's name.

Suddenly the door burst open and they all cried out in surprise and alarm.

Sure enough, a super villain waltzed in with hired goons and loaded guns.

"Well, well, well…" A very smug voice matched the strut.

Arthur wanted to run, but it was too late. They were trapped.

It was Clock King.

* * *

Batman and Batgirl were at a loss. They'd reached a dead end and could find no other leads anywhere as to where the Riddler could be found or how he could be stopped.

They were headed back to the hideout Crane was supposedly operating out of. Whenever Barbara called he sounded very confident and optimistic. Hopefully he wasn't screwing them over. But he probably was.

Since there were no Riddler leads, it was time to check in on this supposed antidote.

That's when Arthur Reeves came back on television. Only he wasn't alone this time.

"People of Gotham…" A familiar voice piped up arrogantly.

Temple Fugate had his face pressed closely to a struggling Arthur to fit them both on screen. The councilman's eyes were closed as his teeth were gritted tightly. He was obviously doing anything in his power to avoid appearing on television captured by a super villain.

"The Mayor is dead. I saw to his execution myself." Clock King announced. "Justice has finally been served."

Arthur stopped struggling, his eyes wide and his mouth open.

"And this pretty boy here will not be his replacement." Fugate tightened his grip on Arthur Reeves. "There will be no government. That is all."

And then the signal cut.

"That is all?" Batgirl frowned. What the hell? She turned to her partner, "Do you really think Mayor Hill is dead?"

"Did you see the pin on his jacket?" Batman asked immediately.

"What?"

"Clock King. His jacket." He immediately stopped the car and did a u-turn.

"A clue?" Batgirl was hopeful.

"If Riddler was behind the scenes there, then this is the clue we've been waiting for."

* * *

Veronica and Harvey had managed to get Paige to take the fever reducer. He'd had to use a nice, soft voice. Something he wasn't very good at. But hey, he'd tried his best and eventually they'd gotten some Motrin down her throat.

And then he'd taken some himself.

Unfortunately, it had yet to take effect. Hopefully it would make a difference.

After an hour, Veronica read the thermometer and looked nervous. "107 now."

Harvey checked his temperature. 104 still.

"So, it didn't work." He frowned.

"I really don't know."

There was a long, awkward silence between them.

Veronica started flipping through the television channels, hoping to figure out what the hell was going on in Gotham. All she found was static. Like a snow show. She'd missed Reeves and the Clock King.

"Do you have a radio?" She asked.

In answer, Harvey leaned back in his chair and clicked on a radio. He probably should have thought of that a long time ago. He'd pegged Veronica Vreeland for a socialite ditz, but surprisingly, she was doing better than him so far… Yeesh…

He went up and down the dial, both AM and FM and found nothing by static.

"This is REALLY bad." Veronica's voice broke with anxiety. "There's always RADIO in an emergency. ALWAYS."

"Relax." Harvey sighed irritably, clicking the radio back off.

They sat in silence and then he took his own temperature again. 104 still.

"Be patient." She scolded. "Checking every second won't help anything."

He noted that Veronica was looking rather flushed and sweaty herself. He surprised her by touching her neck with the back of his hand. "You're looking kinda feverish too." He said bluntly.

She took her own temperature and looked upset. 103.

Her voice trembled, "It's got to be some kind of outbreak. Everyone was getting sick before things fell apart. Everyone. And people were acting really strangely. And then, all in a single instant, a bunch of people SNAPPED and started lashing out irrationally. Even police officers and authority figures. Things just got worse and worse… and… now everything is like this…"

Paige unexpectedly started dry heaving. It was a scary sound. Ronnie instinctively reached out to her. She stroked the girl's dark hair and tried to be comforting… as best as she knew how…

After a moment, Veronica took Paige's temperature again and looked scared. "SHOOT. It's 108 now! We can draw another cold bath, but other than that… I'm sorry. I don't know what else we can do for her…"

She studied Harvey's face for a moment, trying to gauge his reaction for some reason.

And then she touched his hand. "I'm REALLY sorry, but I think your girlfriend is going to die."

He pulled his hand away, surprised. "Eh, she's not my girlfriend. I told you upfront, she's just some girl. I don't know her any better than I know you."

Veronica must have missed that part because she looked surprised. She awkwardly stumbled out, "Oh! I… Sorry. I'd just gotten that impression…"

Oh great! Reviving Paige had looked even worse than he'd realized.

And why wasn't he explaining that she was Calendar Girl and that she'd tried to MURDER him moments before succumbing to the virus? For some reason he was leaving all that crap out. Deliberately. He didn't want Veronica to know. Or ANYONE to know, frankly.

A cover story was already running around in the back of his mind…

He felt a nervous pang in the pit of his stomach. What the hell was he thinking?

Veronica desperately wanted to break the awkward silence. "Well… I can't keep calling you COP all the time, you know… What's your name?"

"Loser who didn't think of Motrin." He answered bitterly.

"You ARE a cop, right? I recognize you. You're always with Gordon. And on TV."

He sighed. "Ya, I'm a detective."

And then he stood up and went into the kitchen. "Can I mix you a drink?"

"Do you have a clean glass?" She frowned uneasily.

He bit his tongue. She was always making little comments like that. Then again, everyone patronized him in a similar manner. Especially women.

"Do ya want a drink or not?" He snapped angrily.

"Just water, thanks. We're sick."

"That's never stopped me before." He threw some rye in a glass sloppily. And then realized he didn't have ANY ice left. Great.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"Starve a fever." She answered simply.

Veronica watched him clatter carelessly about the kitchen. And then it dawned upon her. He wasn't useless, so much as careless. Slovenly! That was the word for this guy.

After a moment, he said: "Harvey."

"Huh?" She blinked.

"You asked my name."

"Oh. Right." She remembered asking now.

After a moment, she added: "You really shouldn't eat. We should sleep, if anything."

He blatantly ignored her. This ticked her off.

The lights flickered and Ronnie looked up at the overhead light nervously. The power continued to come and go… She really dreaded the idea of the lights staying off permanently. Things were really crazy out there.

And she seriously doubted this guy had any sort of preparations for a power outage. No flashlights. No candles. No bottled water. He was so half ass about everything. If the power went out permanently, they were in trouble.

* * *

The Bats approached an old, abandoned candy bar factory. Which was right beside an old abandoned soap factory. And several other abandoned factories.

Batgirl sighed, "I think the city should demolish all these old, abandoned buildings to make less hideouts!"

"Tell Reeves. He's always looking for big, new ideas to bring before council. He'll love the media attention." Batman spoke flatly.

"Speaking of Reeves… Should we split up? One of us could go to City Hall and-"

"A lot of people are in trouble right now. Let's just focus on the root of the problem." Batman said stiffly.

* * *

"Hmmm… raven… writing desk… raven writing desk…" Tim was deep in thought. His finger was tapping his chin and his eyes were narrow slits. "Hmmm…"

Bullock was leaning back in his chair and staring straight up to the Heavens in extreme exasperation. He wanted to scream. But instead, he pulled his hat down over his eyes and ears and clamped his mouth shut tightly.

"Raven… writing desk… raven… writing desk… HMMMMM…" Tim continued.

Arthur's head was in his arms on the table. He was going to snap.

"Raaaaaven… writing desk…. Raaaaaaaaaaven…" Tim was saying.

Summer, who had been nodding off for some time now, finally let her chin drop.

Bullock leaned back even further, on the back legs of his chair, and actually went behind Tim Drake to POKE her awake again.

"Oy!" Summer woke abruptly. And it didn't take long for her to realize what had happened and to meet Harvey's gaze. He was smirking that dark smirk of his. She wanted to glare in anger, but realized he'd probably saved her and refrained.

All the while, the Hatter and the March Hare were cheerfully listening to Tim and pouring tea for one another. This was precisely what they wanted.

"Raven versus writing desk." Tim spoke philosophically.

"They both start with R sounds?" Ally piped up cheerfully.

"Wrong." The Hatter answered with an immediate harshness.

"Oh." Ally looked thoughtful. "I dunno then."

"Let me see…" Tim continued. "Raven… writing desk… raven…"

"I just want to wake up…" Arthur Reeves muttered miserably from within his arms.

"For someone concerned about waking, you're sure posed to sleep!" Ally smiled.

Arthur didn't answer. His head was still on the table in defeat.

Bullock kicked him under the table and he snapped up abruptly.

"Raven… writing desk…" Tim was saying.

"What kinda showdown is this?" Arthur whined.

"It IS rather anticlimactic." Summer agreed.

"Definitely doesn't feel right." Bullock added. "Seems like only more of the same, just with a familiar face." He motioned to Jervis Tetch at this point.

"Usually villains will gloat about their masterful plan and explain what's going on…" Summer nodded. "This really is just more of the same…"

"It's very rude to have an internal conversation within a larger group." The Mad Hatter interrupted them sharply. "If you've something to say, please share. If not, be silent."

"Guys, stop distracting me." Tim hissed. "I was just making a break through… hmmm…"

"There's no answer to the stupid riddle!" Arthur snapped unkindly.

"There isn't?" Ally frowned. "How unfortunate."

Summer frowned, "Maybe there is no diabolical plan. Maybe he just wants to share Wonderland with us. He's in here too, I mean…"

"No, no." Arthur argued. "This place is meant to KILL."

"Or at least wipe our minds." Bullock muttered. "Coz we're obviously still wandering around outside this dream. I'm pretty sure I was on the job with my partner at one point. And in trouble at another. And… I dunno…"

"So… we're fighting in some small corner of our minds to not be erased?" Arthur frowned.

"Kinda looking that way." The detective answered.

"Well, it seems that this tea party is inconsequential then." Summer decided. "We can leave at anytime we like."

"Excuse me?" The Hatter stood up. "Dining and dashing is totally unacceptable."

"Well…" Summer smiled uneasily. "We really should get going."

"Nonsense." The Hatter said darkly. "It's tea time, my dear."

"Yes, but it's always tea time here, remember?" Summer started rising.

Hatter smacked the table loudly with a cane. "Precisely. No one leaves. Ever."

* * *

"Look, Fugate…" Arthur's voice made it clear how frightened he was. "Your beef was with Hill, not me. Just let me go."

Clock King's goons were dragging Reeves to their car.

The streets were full of people saying things like, "This is Arthur Reeves' fault!" or "Never vote for Reeves!" and whatnot. (Joker was clearly having fun.)

"Ok. Worse day ever." Arthur said bluntly as he was shoved in the car.

* * *

"Help!" A young woman screamed. Her husband was trying to shield her from attacking goons. Behind the goons stood a very majestic man dressed like a Pharaoh…

Robin did a back flip and landed on the pavement flawlessly. "Freeze, dirt bags!"

King Tut and his goons froze and turned to face the boy.

"Excuse me?" the pharaoh was unimpressed. "I won't be sassed by a little boy parading around pretending to be some common backyard bird."

"And I won't be patronized by a guy in an ancient Egyptian headdress!" Tim countered.

King Tut snapped his fingers and his goons left the young couple alone and charged at Robin. They weren't about to go easy on him, kid or no kid.

Robin leapt and flipped and dived and tossed batarangs… but in the end, he was outnumbered six to one. He was a stellar acrobat, but few could have mastered those odds. Especially at his age.

King Tut stood over him smirking evilly. "Well, young thrush… It seems you've weathered your last winter…"

* * *

Vreeland was driving Bullock absolutely insane. He wanted to throttle her.

Every few minutes she was making another comment:

- "You can't eat that! It should have been refrigerated!"

- "BORDERLINE? This milk is CHUNKY!"

- "How hard is it to walk down the hall to the garbage chute once and a while?"

- "OH MY GOD! I just saw a roach! I saw a roach!"

- "You shouldn't be drinking hard liquor with a death fever!"

At one point she desperately needed to use the bathroom, but refused to go because she was afraid there would be bugs.

Harvey snapped, "Vreeland! There's bugs everywhere! Just piss!"

Veronica wasn't trying to be unkind. She was a sheltered, rich woman who was genuinely shocked by the way Bullock lived and didn't realize how incredibly rude she was being.

Eventually, they sat in their respective chairs, drinking silently. Paige's condition had not improved. Their conditions had not worsened, but were not improving either.

They didn't bother to propose any courses of action, as it seemed fairly obviously their only option was to sit tight and try to survive. Hopefully outside intervention would come along.

Harvey periodically tried to make Paige drink. It wasn't easy. But he tried anyway.

But as time crawled on slowly… Veronica started up with the comments again…

And so Harvey restlessly asked how she wanted to proceed. And they began discussing their total lack of options. Veronica and Paige couldn't exactly walk anywhere.

Now that she wasn't being a nag, Harvey gradually recalled how pretty Vreeland was. And her dress was ripped, exposing some extra skin. So, he was being much friendlier to her and borderline flirting with her… checking her out… And at one point he called her "doll face" with that smile… and naturally, she just LOST it on him.

"Don't get fresh with me!" She slapped him across the face.

"What the hell?" He touched his cheek. "It's all in fun, doll. No harm meant."

"Oh my God! How greasy!" She snarled. "You are SO disgusting!"

Ouch. How embarrassing. And yet typical for him. He had a bad habit of getting into these situations. Once he'd even come on to Harley Quinn. OUCH. His life sucked.

Veronica wasn't finished ragging on him. "I hate the way you talk to women! You must LIVE at the strip club!"

Actually he stayed out of the clubs. The women there were as disgusted by him as anywhere else. Only it was much worse, because they had to try to PRETEND to tolerate him… which they weren't very good at doing… It was just too horrible.

He realized Ronnie was still yelling at him. She expected a response.

He wanted to point out what a total bitch she was being after he'd been trying to help her. And that she was a spoiled, rich brat. He knew how much the rocks on he ears alone cost. People killed in his neighbour for much less. And people were starving all over the world. How would she like to be judged? Coz he'd had quite enough of her preaching from on high… especially with her excessive luxury and ostentatious ways…

But he bit his tongue and looked down at his shoes. It was a bad idea to get on the wrong side of the Vreelands. They wielded so much power and influence in Gotham.

Ronnie realized she was going overboard and immediately felt bad. She wasn't actually a bad person. She was a touch too judgmental, but all and all, she had a good heart.

So, she let out a loud sigh and said: "Look… I'm sorry I'm being such a rude brat. I'm just freaked out. We're probably dying."

"Meh." He said dismissively with an equally dismissive gesture. It was his way of trying to diffuse an awkward moment.

But Veronica wasn't done. She was never done. She still felt bad. Harvey had saved her from thugs, saved Paige from drowning and was allowing them refuge in his apartment. So, after waiting a few moments she awkwardly continued to try to make amends…

"You know…" She started. "You're apartment isn't THAT bad. It isn't bad enough to be on one of those reality shows or anything. It's too empty and impersonal…"

He was silent.

She looked around. "Ya, you don't have much of a life, do you?"

There she went again. She couldn't help herself or something.

No wonder this woman had been divorced like four or five times!

They sat in silence for a long time. They were supposed to be trying to sleep. He'd offered Ronnie his bed to sleep in, but she'd refused. She was totally disgusted by the idea of sleeping in Harvey's personal bed. Moreover, she suspected he had bed bugs. He didn't have them, but she convinced herself he did.

Harvey lay back in his chair and put his hat over his face to try to sleep.

He was so sick of listening to this woman yammer on about roaches and bed bugs and now she was asking if he had some ROOM SPRAY or at least an air freshener coz the place smelled funny… And she was now complaining about Rusty again. How the dog hadn't had any water and how the dog was being left alone in the bedroom to die…

He'd have to tell Montoya he could now understand why people committed murder.

Of all the people he could have been stuck with during this crisis…why did he have to get stuck with Veronica Vreeland? Well, at least he wasn't alone with Paige Monroe anymore. Yikes.

Eventually, it was time to take another dose of Motrin to try to fight their fevers.

Harvey managed to get Paige to take her pill with some water… She was somewhat awake…

The girl muttered something unintelligible and grabbed his wrist. She was looking at him. He tried to say something reassuring, but he wasn't sure if she understood him. At the very least, he hoped she registered a comforting voice.

Veronica watched sadly from her chair. She was surprised Harvey knew how to speak so softly and kindly. It seemed totally at odds with his character.

Either way, it was clear that Paige was fading and would not be with them when they woke in the morning.

The girl let go of the detective eventually and fell asleep. He turned and gave Ronnie an uneasy expression.

"Let's try another ice soak." was Veronica's response.

Harvey started to run another cold bath for Paige. The ice cubes in the freezer were somewhat ready now…

He knelt down beside Paige and told her quietly, "I'm gonna put you back in the tub now, ok? Don't freak out on me."

He carefully set Paige in the tub and sat down on the cold floor. Veronica was falling asleep on the couch now. She'd moved over immediately, exhausted and feverish.

It would be awesome to go to bed… but he couldn't leave Monroe in the bathtub. That hadn't gone so well last time…

He took her temperature. 107. How was she not dead yet?

He was so very tired. That kinda tired that makes you wanna laugh and cry at once. And he really did feel feverish. He didn't need a thermometer to warn him.

The apartment was silent for a very long time.

At one point Harvey stuck his head in the ice water and gave it a shake. Ugh.

At another point, Paige started trembling like crazy. She muttered and shivered all over. He had no idea what to do. This was probably it. So he just took her hand and held it and waited to see if she was passing away.

But once again, she didn't die. The trembling subsided. But he kept a hold of her hand.

She muttered something, louder but still unintelligible, and squeezed his hand.

Another long, uneventful period passed. Veronica coughed a few times. But otherwise, the apartment was very silent.

Harvey's head started to nod. He tried to stay awake, but it was so difficult. His head kept nodding. His hat fell off. Try as he might, he eventually fell fast asleep with his head on the porcelain tub again…

And then there was a very loud crash with an explosion.

Veronica sat up abruptly, crying out in alarm.

"What was that?" Harvey demanded.

"I dunno!" She was pale. "But it's started a FIRE!"

Sure enough, without even leaving the bathroom floor, Harvey could see his whole apartment bathed in a red-orange glow suddenly.

He hurried out onto the balcony and realized his building had erupted into flames.

* * *

"We're leaving!" Summer stood up bravely. "This is either the showdown or it isn't. And this is a quick way to find out!"

The March Hare sprang at Summer, only to be punched back by Bullock.

Arthur recoiled as the Hare hit the ground. He was backing away from the action.

"Are you gonna help or what?" Harvey snapped.

The detective kicked over the table at the Hatter and the Hare, dishes flying.

The March Hare sprang up and savagely charged at Arthur, who panicked and grabbed a chair. Swinging the chair with all his strength, he struck at the hare. But the animal kept coming at him and Arthur was forced back.

"Oy-yoy-yoy…" Bullock hissed, kicking the Hare the way he'd kicked the table.

The Mad Hatter seemed very surprised. "This isn't right! This isn't right at all."

Summer slapped Tim across the face and said, "Help us, Tim! Now!"

Which was amusing as she was doing nothing at the moment.

For an instant, Tim looked stunned. Then memories of kicking ass as Robin flashed before his eyes and he entered the fray. But not too furiously. He didn't want Bullock to get suspicious if he proved to be the best fighter amongst them!

"Something's wrong." The Hatter stepped backwards, removing his hat uneasily.

As savage as the March Hare was designed to be, he couldn't handle both Tim and Harvey at once. He was forced to fall back and eventually to run away into the forest.

The Mad Hatter watched his friend run away… he looked sad and confused…

"Something's wrong!" The Hatter frowned and ran away himself, hat in hand.

Tim went to chase after him.

"Leave him!" Arthur called. "He seems as cracked out as us."

"You know something…" Bullock wiped blood from his mouth. "I don't think that guy is calling the shots."

"Ya THINK?" Arthur glared unkindly.

"Let's just get out of here…" Summer frowned.

"Nice right hook." Tim smiled at Bullock.

"Thanks, kid. At least you helped." The detective took a stab at Arthur to get even.

"So what do we do now?" Arthur rolled his eyes, sick of them banding against him.

No one had any idea. So they just started walking.

* * *

Robin, bound and gagged, with thrown onto cold concrete.

"Should we pop him now, boss?" The boy heard a voice. He sensed people standing all around him.

"No, no…" A confident voice explained. "There are rumors that the Batman is dead. Hence why he is not stopping the escalating disaster around us. Using his little bird boy as bait will be an excellent way to confirm whether the rumors are true or not…"

Batman dead? Robin felt a pang of terror. That would certainly explain why his mentor had been incommunicado for 24 hours… and why nobody had been able to find him… AND why he wasn't stopping the crisis…

The pieces began to fit together and Tim didn't like the picture he was looking at.

Suddenly, an aristocratic voice cut through the silence. "An excellent idea, my friend."

Robin immediately recognized the voice and looked up.

"Penguin!" King Tut was startled. "What are you doing here?"

"You haven't changed your main hideaway in three years. No wonder no one takes you seriously as a super villain… ANYWAY, that's neither here nor there, is it? We're here on urgent business…"

"We're?" King Tut was surprised.

"Yes, all of us." Poison Ivy stepped forward. "Word on the street is that Two Face and Scarecrow are working on an anecdote for the virus that's precipitated this disaster."

"And ya know they aren't gonna share." Killer Croc also stepped forward.

"At least not in any way that is remotely reasonable." Bane agreed. "They'll wield ultimate power and we will be at their mercy."

"So…" Ivy smiled seductively. "We're gathering together everyone we can to take them by surprise before it's too late."

"After all…" Penguin smirked. "The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"We'll put Scarecrow to work for US." Killer Croc grinned sinisterly.

"How do we know this to be true?" King Tut raised an eyebrow.

"Because I was working with them." Clayface stepped forward from the shadows. "Until I got infected with the virus. Then Two Face cut me out. He and Crane haven't been infected and they want to keep it that way."

"And since you've caught the Batman's boy…" Bane lifted Robin by his ankle. "We have ourselves a little leverage should the Batman finally show himself."

Bane held Robin so high he was looking into the boy's face. Robin, mouth gagged, stared Bane right in the eyes and refused to show how frightened he was becoming.

"I've seen the Batman recently." Penguin sighed. "I suspect the rumors of his demise are unfounded. Just because he hasn't saved Gotham yet, doesn't mean he won't soon."

"Well, we've got the brat here just in case." Ivy smirked darkly.

* * *

Batgirl and Batman silently crept through the abandoned warehouse…

Suddenly, the lights all flashed on and a voice came over the PA system…

"Ah, Batman… you've finally decided to show up… I can't believe how blatantly obvious I had to make it for you. Had to practically slap you across the face with my whereabouts. My, my. You seem to be slipping."

"Where are you?" Batgirl snarled. She and Batman were running around checking rooms.

"I wasn't talking to you." Edward's voice sounded tired. "I don't acknowledge you as an actual super hero."

Barbara's jaw dropped.

"Anywho, Batman… It's about time you came around. People are dying out there in droves."

"This isn't like you, Nygma. This crime doesn't fit." Batman scowled.

Room after room was empty. Where was he?

"Well, while you stand around trying to analyze my personal nature, I'll just continue to program the citizens of Gotham to kill each other… Take your time…"

"Where are you, Nygma?" Batman snarled. "Give me a hint. You love hints."

"Truthfully, Batman… I'm rather feverish. I'm not up for it tonight. I'm just going to kill you right away, ok?"

"Look out!" Barbara realized dozens of arrows were coming at them.

* * *

The tired little party just picked a direction and started walking… and walking…

Arthur really wanted to say, 'I told you so' or 'Any more bright ideas?" or something annoying like that. But he knew better. So he just shut his mouth and kept walking.

They trudged on for ages… they hadn't slept since this nightmare began…

Finally, Summer spoke: "Guys, can we please stop and rest a minute? We've been walking for days without any sleep."

"Good idea. Let's sit down and fall asleep." Arthur spoke icily.

"You can do it, Summer." Ally smiled kindly. "Just keeping putting one foot in front of the other and eventually someone will rescue us…"

Summer nodded unhappily and kept trooping onward.

Nobody was speaking. Everyone was exhausted. They really had been too long without sleep and endless hours of walking was not helping. They'd been at it since they arrived.

Ally would sing once and a while. He was tired now, but his spirits were still high.

Reeves finally broke the silence. "I don't think anyone is going to rescue us."

"That was your whole big thing!" Tim snapped. "Let's hang back and wait to be rescued. You said the police-"

"Ya, but I just realized the police will never come coz Bullock's back at work as if everything is perfectly normal. They won't notice us missing."

"You just realized this now?" Bullock was irritated.

"This coming from YOU? You're a walking disaster! Don't even start with me."

And so they'd walk for a while and then an argument would break out. And they'd go a little further and another argument would break out. And the bickering occurred in all combinations. Drake, Reeves and Bullock were the most argumentative of the lot, but Gleeson and Knox entered confrontations from time to time. These individuals didn't like each other on the best of days and now tempers were running especially high…

At one point Bullock turned around and sucker punched Reeves.

But eventually, as they grew more and more exhausted, the arguing petered out almost completely. The fight was leaving them. They were slowly shutting down.

In fact, Summer piped up miserably, "Guys. I can't do this much longer… I really can't."

Thirty minutes later, her ankles gave out under her and she hit her knees.

"Go on without me. I'm done." She said tearfully. "I can't stand."

Everyone stopped and looked at her.

And then Bullock knelt down. "Hop on."

Summer looked at him with uncertainty. Doubtful, maybe uncomfortable…

"I don't bite!" Harvey was irritated.

Summer climbed onto his back weakly. A piggy back ride. And off they went.

"Oh, the chivalric hero…" Arthur rolled his eyes. "Tim, shall I carry you next?"

"I'm holding up better than you are!" Tim snorted.

"I'm taking Timmy!" Knox scooped Tim up unexpectedly and began swinging him around recklessly.

"Ally! NO!" Tim sounded pissed and was visibly struggling like a caught animal.

"Why not, kid?" Arthur smirked. "He's clearly got enough energy for all of us. Let him carry you awhile…"

"Oh, go to hell…" Tim was upside down now, Ally whirling him around.

They trekked on for a while longer and then the landscape started to change.

Ally piped up, "I've always wanted to play croquet!"

"Croquet?" Tim frowned. "That was random."

"He's always random." Arthur muttered.

"Don't you recognize our surroundings?" Knox smiled. "This is the Queen of Heart's garden. Soon we'll play croquet."

Sure enough, the trees were all heart shaped with red roses. The scene was very different.

"Then we should probably get out of here." Arthur became nervous.

Before they could discuss their options, a woman's scream came over the hill…

"NO! What are you doing! NOOOO! ACK!"

"Ivy! Ivy, please…"

Tim and Arthur exchanged a look and then raced up over the hill.

A tired, sweaty Edward was trying to control a freaking Pamela.

Some playing cards with red paint seemed to be slopping it all over some rose bushes.

"Ivy, please…" Ed was saying. "We have to get out of here."

"It's Riddler and Poison Ivy!" Tim hissed to Arthur.

Eddie heard this and noticed their presence. Bullock, Gleeson and Knox had arrived too.

"Well, well, well…" Ed smiled attractively. "All together at last."


	10. Playing Croquet as the City Falls

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 10: Playing Croquet as the City Falls**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_A/N:_

_Thanks for the reviews! They motivate me to continue. Really appreciated!_

_Also, just a reminder that I envision the male characters (especially Bruce, Bullock and Riddler) in the original BTAS animation style, not 'The New Look'… In my humble opinion, they looked better and had more expression in the early stuff._

_I'm adding more and more characters… coz I love them all… ^^_

* * *

Jervis Tetch was running frantically and stumbling around a dark forest, looking up into the trees in frightened confusion…

This wasn't right. Nothing was right.

"Who's doing this to me?" He called out, half crazed.

* * *

"Ok, so far only one age group seems to be really dangerous. Young adults. Like people in their 20s, roughly, I guess…" Alexander Knox was speaking into his tape recorder, behind the wheel of his parked car. It was the wee hours now and he was tired, but he had to be on the frontlines getting this story. This was the ultimate crisis and he was all over it. If he was lucky, he'd be the only guy covering it.

Hey, if he survived this nightmare, he'd write more than an article. He'd write a book!

His photographer, a guy in his mid-twenties, had been snooping around with him initially, only to suddenly snap and start destroying stuff and attacking people. It had been alarming… but then again… This was Gotham City and Ally had seen a lot of crazy stuff in his years of reporting.

So now, Knox had a clunky camera around his neck, and was creeping around alone trying to figure things out. Without much luck.

"So ya, avoiding anyone who looks around 20-30…" He added. "OH, and some cops appear to be affected. Not really sure what the pattern is. But…"

He heard a loud smash and looked quickly across the street.

"Young woman, approximately 25, vandalizing store front… vomiting… um… EWW… ya… she's not long for this world… UM, other than that, not a lot going on…"

He decided it was time to try another area. Yet he was uneasy about it because when people saw a working vehicle they tended to pounce and beg for help and whatnot. It was bad. Sad, awkward, scary – just all around bad. He didn't want to get this virus, though. There was no way he was unlocking the doors for anyone.

He didn't realize he was already infected. That he'd been an original carrier.

Ally wanted to swing by his apartment again. Just to see if things were still ok. As he passed his building he saw that half of it had now collapsed somehow. Oh wait. An 18 wheeler had smashed right into it, crippling the structural integrity.

He stared blankly at the destruction for a moment and then made a motion as if to punch the steering wheel.

Then he changed his mind and quickly drummed the steering wheel with his fingers instead. He forced a look of indifference on his face.

At least he was alive, right? He could have been IN that building.

Instead of cursing brutally, he managed to say… "They've gotta change the traffic flow. Those big guys shouldn't be allowed in intensely urban areas."

He clicked on the recorder: "Questions about transports downtown. Can't brake fast enough in this congestion."

Not the typical reaction to losing everything, but an Ally reaction nonetheless.

Then he pulled closer to the building for a better look. Ugh. How awful.

Ya, his apartment was lost amongst the rubble, a gapping hole where it used to be.

He sighed, "Ya, probably should have gotten insurance at some point…"

* * *

Clock King did a fancy little spin and presented Arthur Reeves to the Joker.

"Artie! It's been AGES!"

Arthur's angry expression instantly turned to fright. "You!"

"Is that anyway to act? After all I've done for you…"

"You tried to kill me."

"I'm always trying to kill you, Artie. And here we are again."

"Listen-" Reeves started nervously.

"Oh relax. I didn't mean right this second. I meant later. Not too much later, mind you, but later enough. Take off your coat and stay a while. Unwind a bit. Let's catch up."

Reeves looked very pale and frightened.

Joker turned to Clock King. He'd almost forgotten to give him further instruction.

The distinguished older gentleman was examining his pocket watch with great dignity and poise.

"Get back out there. Keep reporting back to me." Joker ordered.

Clock King smiled and clicked his watch shut loudly. "My will is not my own." He said simply and motioned confidently for his men to follow him back out on the town.

Joker watched them go and then turned to Arthur gleefully, "I like his style."

* * *

Batman and Batgirl had dodged trap after trap after trap, and still more came. Riddler sounded irritated over the PA system, but they couldn't actually hear what he was saying as they were so fixated on surviving.

Finally, nothing followed. There was silence.

"Well." Riddler sighed. "I'll just have to blow the place up, I guess. Later! And by that, I mean: Never again."

The Bats immediately leapt through a large glass window and rolled across the parking lot as the building exploded.

"AH!" Barbara felt her hair burning. Everything else was under the protective suit – every inch of her skin, in fact, as they were trying to avoid contracting the virus.

Batman smothered her head briefly with his fireproof cape and frowned.

He looked around and there was no sign of the Riddler anywhere. He had probably never even been on site. It was typical of his cowardly ways.

Bruce turned to the girl, "I said right from day one you should cover your hair. Not only is it a clue as to your identity, it's just dangerous. Vanity isn't worth your life."

Barbara was in pain. She grimaced and managed, "But people kept mistaking me for Catwoman."

"Heaven forbid." Bruce glared. Sometimes he forgot how young his team was.

"Well, they fire at Catwoman!" Barbara hissed. She was at the end of her rope tonight!

And then she saw her reflection – her horribly burnt hair – and cried out in alarm.

* * *

"Well, well, well… All together at last." Edward smiled as Tim, Arthur, Knox, Bullock and Gleeson all stood on the crest of the hill staring at he and Poison Ivy in surprise.

"What are YOU doing here?" Tim Drake demanded immediately.

"A trapped victim such as yourselves, I'm afraid." Ed tried not to smile, but it was a force of habit. The Riddler persona smiled constantly.

"So you aren't behind this either?" Summer asked, still riding on Bullock's back. Her ankles had given out and so he was carrying her.

"Oh, isn't that sweet. A police officer til the end." Poison Ivy smiled at Harvey mockingly. Harvey glared at her and looked away. Gorgeous witch.

"The Joker is your man." Edward explained. "He imprisoned us, along with Tetch and all of you."

"ACTUALLY…" Ivy glared at Riddler. "Eddie was behind this too, he just got double crossed."

"Thanks for adding that, love." Edward muttered.

"Oh, you deserve it." She smirked.

"Either way…" Edward turned his attention back to the group. "We're all victims now."

"Well, if you think that means we're willing to team up, you're WRONG." Tim started angrily.

"Who says?" Arthur said pragmatically. "If he orchestrated this nightmare, we likely need his help to survive it."

"Reeves! You're willing to work with dangerous criminal scum?" Tim spat.

"Excuse me?" Riddler raised an eyebrow. "I'm many things, but SCUM – hardly."

Ivy also looked affronted. They weren't low life ruffians, after all.

"We're NOT working with villains!" Tim spat.

"This isn't exactly your everyday state of affairs, kid." Reeves was blunt.

"We can't trust them!" Tim spat again adamantly.

"We hardly trust each other!" Arthur insisted, the tension heightening.

"Speak for yourself, jerk!" Tim was shouting now. "You're the exception here!"

"Are we going to vote again?" Ally Knox asked cheerfully.

"You know…" Edward started, but was completely ignored.

"NO!" Tim and Arthur both told Ally unkindly together.

"Realistically, we won't be able to work together coz I wanna arrest them and they wanna kill me." Harvey muttered.

"We could cut a deal." Arthur insisted.

"No agreement could be trusted." Summer frowned.

"Survival is a powerful motivator." Arthur continued to insist.

"NO!" Tim snarled. "We're NOT-"

"I never asked to work together." Edward tried again to interject, but realized no one was listening. They were fighting for no reason. He'd NEVER asked to team up in the first place...

Reeves and Drake were going to go at each other either way.

And before long, all five 'good guys' were bickering like they hated each other. They were arguing over something that wasn't even actually on the table!

"My, my…" Edward smirked. "What a happy little group of friends."

"Tsk, tsk. Dysfunctional." Ivy also smirked.

"I'd prefer NOT to work together after seeing this. Gracious." Ed sighed.

"And these are the GOOD GUYS? How have you people survived EACH OTHER?" Ivy chuckled unkindly. "It's really rather pathetic."

The group stopped bickering immediately and stared at the super villains in silent anger.

Tim spoke, "And just imagine if we united all our dysfunctional rage directly at you."

"It would keep me awake." Edward shrugged. "None of this is real-"

Suddenly, one of the bustling playing cards tripped and a can of red paint went flying and landed all over Edward and Ivy. Some splashed on the others present, but not much.

"HEY!" Ivy roared furiously.

"They're just trying to engage us in the fantasy. To recapture our attention." Ed muttered, looking down unhappily at his ruined green suit.

A second card tripped over a step ladder and his can of paint landed in the middle of the group and splashed everyone somewhat. Bullock took the brunt of it, though.

Summer ran her hand through his hair and said, "ACK!" It was like bloody hair.

"Just ignore them. It's not like our clothes or bodies here are real." Ed sighed.

"So you designed all this?" Tim raised an eyebrow.

Before Edward could answer, Ivy was handed a can of red paint and a paint brush. "Please, Miss! Help us! The Queen will be here any moment! If she realizes we planted white roses by mistake she'll have us put to death!"

"What's wrong with white roses?" Ivy was indignant. "All flowers are equally-"

"PLEASE, miss!" He tugged her arm.

"I refuse to hurt healthy rose bushes with paint!" Ivy kicked him away violently. And then she began to attack the other two playing cards.

"Ivy, no!" Ed rushed forward. "Just ignore them! Engaging in the fantasy-"

Ivy dumped a can of paint all over one of the playing cards. "How do you like it?"

"Oh GOD…" Edward tried to grab her wrist, only to get smacked away harshly.

"Told you ignoring the scenes was the way to go." Arthur announced predictably.

Before Tim could say something rude, a loud trumpet flourish was sounded.

Everyone froze and stared in that direction, their expressions all terrified.

"We're covered in paint!" Summer panicked. "We look as guilty as them!"

* * *

Bullock raced with Paige to the front door.

Veronica followed with the dog in her arms, limping awkwardly. She was way too slow, though. WAY too slow. Once they entered the smoke, they had to get out very quickly. Smoke killed fast!

"Come on, Ronnie! Move it!" The detective snapped.

If they got boxed in by flame, they were doomed either way…

"My leg is trashed!" She screamed tearfully, panicking.

"Ok, ok…" He went to grab her. This was no time for her _theatrics_, damn it!

"You can't carry all of us!" She recoiled.

"Watch me." He bluntly took her in one arm and Paige in the other. She was still holding Rusty tightly. He then kicked the apartment door open and started down the hallway at top speed.

The hallway seemed clear. He kicked the stairwell door open.

Smoke poured out, but there was no flame between his floor and the ground floor.

When they got to the steps, things got dicey. It was way too awkward for him to carry both girls down the steep steps like that. He couldn't even guarantee his first step. The three of them together were too wide and unbalanced and were absolutely going to fall.

"Woah, woah!" Ronnie panicked, struggling. Struggling was the natural reflex, but it was NOT the thing to be doing on the stairs!

"ACK!" He lost his balance. Oh no! They were able to break their necks!

Ronnie screamed as though she was dying. And she continued to flail wildly.

Despite it all, Harvey managed to teeter until he recovered his footing.

But Veronica was still freaking.

"Ok, ok! Shut up!" He roared at her, managing to set her down. "You'll kill us!"

He felt lightheaded already. His lungs hurt. It seemed like they needed to turn a light on, but in reality, it wasn't dark at all. It was the smoke. The smoke was darkening the stairs. It just didn't look like actual smoke.

"I'll crawl down on my butt." She spoke through tears, her voice trembling.

"Don't talk stupid talk!" He snapped. And then he knelt down. "Get on my back! NOW! We're dying!"

He was right, of course. Veronica already felt her lungs burning. She wanted to sleep.

He hurried down the stairs with Ronnie on his back and Paige in his arms.

Kicking the door open to the outside, he got them a safe distance from the building and then collapsed, coughing. His lungs were just shaking inside his chest. It felt so weird.

Ronnie also coughed. Her lungs ached and her eyes burned.

Paige was wheezing, her lungs trembling. She gave a loud raspy cough and then curled up and rolled deeper into the detective's chest.

Ronnie lay down and just tried to get some clean air. She focused on clearing her lungs.

After several minutes of sitting on the pavement, just getting air, they started watching the building burn down.

And then they saw Firefly flying through the air just down the street. He threw another fiery bomb and another building exploded into flames.

Bullock coughed, "I am SO sick of all the weirdo freaks in this town."

Veronica smiled. "Sorry about your home."

"You said yourself, honey. Not much of a home."

"STILL…" She rubbed her arm uncomfortably. "I... well… sorry."

But then she had to add awkwardly: "I know it was just a rental and you didn't really have any possessions… but if you DID have anything sentimental in there… well, it's lost in flame now."

"Meh." The detective dismissively rose to his feet. He did have a secret sentimental streak… but the very, very few things he had in this life of that nature were in a metal box. They'd might survive the fire. And if not, well… whatever.

And then the detective and the socialite looked at one another.

What should they do now?

* * *

Arthur was sweaty and scared and his hair was all over the place. The Joker had punched him several times at random intervals in their dialogue, so there was blood on his bruised face. Nevertheless, he was trying to stay calm and look pretty. Typical Arthur.

"You see, Artie… I haven't really decided what I want to DO with you yet. I know you're going to die horribly… but that's just the thing – NOTHING seems grand enough for an old, old friend like you. You and I go way back, kiddo…"

Arthur was letting Joker talk and talk. Stalling. Joker loved his own voice, clearly.

"Harley doesn't know how far back we're talking here. I'm talking WAY back."

"Back in the Sally days?" Harley was interested. "The Bat-free days?"

"Yes, yes. Those happy, simpler times, right, Artie?" Joker sighed. "You were a lawyer. I wasn't a homicidal artist yet… I'm sure you recall…"

Arthur lowered his gaze. Of course he remembered the Beaumont days. Things had been really promising then. He hadn't been wrecked by this wicked town yet. Now he was jaded and hateful and… well…

Joker smirked, "Anyway, Arturo… I need to think of a really great way to end your life. Any suggestions?"

"Dying at a ripe old age is always an option." Arthur smiled weakly.

"FUNNY boy." Joker pinched his cheek too hard. And then backhanded him. Ow.

"It's gotta be something that hurts his ego bad, boss." Harley smiled. "Something that publically humiliates him somehow."

"HARLEY, I know Arthur WAY better than you do. That's a terrible idea. It has to be something that hurts his ego and publically humiliates him, of course."

Harley looked confused. She'd just said that.

Joker turned to Arthur, "I wanted to frame you for this whole crisis that now has national attention... and you know, have it look like you committed suicide or something so you're name never gets cleared… hmm… Or maybe something else. Is something worse? Probably not."

Arthur frowned, "How could you frame me for this?"

"Tons of ways. And you'll confess in front of this camera, of course."

"You can't make me. If I'm dying either way, I won't die like that."

Joker and Harley exchanged a look. Joker sighed and rolled his eyes, asking Arthur condescendingly: "You're not understanding how this works, are ya, kiddo?"

And with that the clown began typing into a controller…

Suddenly, Arthur stood up and spun in a big circle. He shouted cheerfully: "I'm going to say whatever I'm told without hesitation and with complete sincerity, because I'm infected with a deadly mind control virus!"

Arthur's arms dropped and a look of desperation slammed onto his face.

Joker loved it, so he typed more.

And then Arthur shouted merrily. "I'm going to hang myself. Or maybe put a pistol in my mouth!"

Arthur stopped and covered his mouth. He looked so alarmed and desperate.

Joker laughed loudly and began typing some more.

Arthur, anticipating something horrible, started breathing unevenly. His eyes grew wet.

Joker giggled… and kept typing…

Arthur looked as though he was about to die of absolute terror… his heart raced… This was torture!

And then Arthur felt himself moving beyond his control. He did three big, graceful cartwheels in a row across the room. He didn't even realize he was capable of such a feat!

"Bet you didn't think you could." Joker smirked. "The power of the mind is really something. Tell yourself it's true and it is, baby."

"Make him take of his clothes in front of the camera. He'll just DIE." Harley laughed.

"Hope you're wearing clean underwear, cutey!" Joker said darkly to Arthur.

The clown started typing something and then looked up from his controller to Arthur, "And don't get any ideas about trying to infect me. You can't. I've programmed everyone infected to NEVER infect us. End of."

Joker then unexpectedly handed Arthur a pistol. "Shoot us and escape."

Arthur just stood there, holding the gun. He couldn't do anything if he wanted to.

"Hmm…" Joker typed.

The gun slowly, slowly moved to Arthur's own temple. By his own hand.

Arthur wanted to close his eyes, but he couldn't. He legs trembled involuntarily.

"You are SO easy to get to." The Joker shrugged indifferently. (Why was that line familiar?)

"Program him some more! It's funny!" Harley bounced in her seat.

"Hmmm… Let's figure out if he can dance, shall we?"

"Can he walk on his hands? Let's turn on the CAMERA." Harley giggled.

"Yes, let's let EVERYONE see the once proud peacock fall." Jack laughed.

Arthur looked more pitiful than ever. They could do anything. ANYTHING.

Jack sighed. "Funny, Artie. I thought you'd get ANGRY. You're fragile, strangely, hm?"

* * *

The trumpets flourishing, silencing everyone.

The gardeners instantly hit the ground, terrified.

"Get down, if you value your life." Edward whispered to Ivy, hitting his knees.

"You said-" Arthur started irritably.

Edward spoke rapidly, "The Queen is the only character with the potential to kill. If you are decapitated by her in this dream, there's a chance your brain will believe it has really died. It could just shut down and let your body die."

"Coz in a normal dream, you'd wake up before the axe fell…" Tim was nervous.

Everyone hit their knees. They didn't need any further reason to be frightened.

"Why are you helping us?" Summer asked Edward.

"I'm telling Ivy. I can't help if you overhear." Eddie hissed. "Now SHHH!"

With that, everyone lay face down on the grass silently.

And just in time.

Over the horizon came an enormous entourage.

First came soldiers… all playing cards with weapons… clubs and spades…

Then came courtiers… still playing cards… all diamonds…

And then children… likely the offspring of the royal family and nobility…

Then came the nobility… all lesser royals…

It seemed the entire court was out with her majesty that afternoon. Many of these individuals were not playing cards at all. They looked like regular, human nobles.

Bullock didn't see the Duchess amongst the procession. Fortunately. That was the last thing he needed, negative attention drawn to him in front of the Queen. He could just see the Duchess lodging a complaint to the Queen. The Duchess had threatened to put him to death, after all…

And then came that white rabbit, calling: "Presenting the King and Queen of Hearts!"

And there she was… the intimidating, terrifying Queen of Hearts…

* * *

Jervis Tetch had calmed down significantly. He was walking now and peering all around him, up into the tree tops… hm…

Something was very wrong, indeed.

Nothing he saw was how he would have designed it. This wasn't his Wonderland.

"Someone's meddling…" He muttered to himself darkly. "Someone thinks they've bested me…"

He passed a pool and looked down into the water at his own reflection.

After a moment, he smiled at himself. The brim of his hat cast a shadow over his eyes.

"Well… we'll see…"

* * *

"I feel like we're in one of those apocalyptic movies…" Veronica was gawking.

Bullock was so very tired of her voice. Yet he kept trudging on, carrying Vreeland on his back and Monroe in his arms. They were headed for the nearest hospital. But perhaps something else would present itself along the way. Maybe a working car.

"…You know those movies. Where the city is all destroyed and burning like this… Only, you're not exactly Bruce Willis or Tom Cruise or whoever. You know, the typical Hollywood stud. I mean, cops in the movies tend to be… well… You're not…"

"You don't need to entertain me with conversation." Bullock interrupted irritably.

This silenced her for a little bit. But then she started up again. Something would trigger a comment on this street or that street…

A flipped over baby carriage would upset her. Or they'd see a corpse and she'd freak. Or they'd see merchandise all over the street and she'd say something annoyingly trivial.

"Survival can be a silent thing, ya know." He snapped at one point.

Paige continued to curl deeper and deeper into his chest. Like she was subconsciously trying to hide her face from sight. He risked a glance down at her. She was beautiful.

How could someone so beautiful have such warped, self-hating thoughts? What could this girl possibly see in the mirror? He'd always sorta bitterly wished he could show her what it was like to be ACTUALLY ugly. Jeez.

"Can she breathe like that?" Veronica peered down over Harvey's shoulder.

Harvey sighed loudly, rolling his eyes. Did this lady ever stop yammering?

Though admittedly, he was not oblivious of how deeply Paige was snuggling into him. As though he was going to protect her and hide her. He wasn't accustomed to such close, prolonged contact and found on some level he really liked it… He liked carrying her.

He was definitely holding her tighter than he needed to. They were both overkill with it.

Which was shocking. He was NOT cuddly. Screw that idea. Um… right?

This line of thought made him feel awkward and he felt the urge to act masculine.

He had to settle for spitting.

"EW!" Veronica hissed. "You're SO nasty! … No offence."

They eventually came across a shopping cart. He tried to physically force her into it.

She started freaking out… but he kept shoving her in anyway…

Fortunately for Veronica, Bullock realized the cart was missing a wheel.

* * *

"Killer Moth!" Poison Ivy shouted from the street below.

Orange wings fluttered awkwardly… purple and green limbs flailing…

Eventually, the awkward little fellow landed on the pavement.

"Killer Moth." Penguin took over. "We're gathering everyone we can-"

"Two Face and Scarecrow. I know. I know. I'm not interested." Killer Moth made sure his cocoon gun was out where everyone could see it. It was one of the few effective weapons he actually had.

Ivy blinked. "Not interested? In the cure to this killer virus? Are you STUPID?"

"You have to ask?" Penguin raised an eyebrow. "Look at him."

Killer Moth chose to ignore the barb. Instead, he said: "I don't have to explain myself."

"UM… yes, you do." Bane said bluntly.

"Let's just say…" The Moth said carefully. "_I-ay o-day ot-nay onsider-cay Ay-clay Ace-fay a-ay eliable-ray ource-say_."

"I speak pig latin, you jerk!" Clayface was angry.

"When I worked with you last year you proved yourself to be totally incompetent!" Killer Moth became very defensive, his voice coming out in a higher pitch.

"This coming from YOU?" Clayface snarled.

"Enough." Bane interrupted bluntly. "It is the Moth's right to refuse. Let us go."

And with that he turned to go, casually flashing a bright, bright light as he turned.

The Moth twitched and was captivated.

"You're sure now?" Bane smiled, turning on the light a little longer.

"Ok, ok." Killer Moth rushed forward and took the light from his hands. "I'm in."

"Did I ever tell you how sexy your voice is?" Ivy smiled her smile at Bane.

"Several times." Bane was indifferent. "I care not for your tricks."

* * *

As they trudged through the streets of Gotham… Veronica and Harvey continued to annoy the HELL out of each other…

On an upcoming street corner, a girl rushed out of the shadows panting…

She immediately caught Harvey's attention. She was fairly pretty.

But when she saw them approaching, the girl took off out of sight, frightened.

"Way to go!" Veronica sighed. "You scared her away."

"ME?"

"Ya! You're so CREEPY with women. You get this LOOK-"

"Ronnie, everyone is running from everyone." He snapped impatiently.

After a moment, he sighed tiredly, "Why aren't people banding together?"

"Haven't you read Stephen King?" Ronnie rolled his eyes. "People don't come together in times like these. We're descending into the Hobbesian nightmare." Then she paused. "I doubt you get that reference."

"Hobbes. Everybody for themselves. I got it." He said irritably. She, like most people, figured he didn't know anything about anything ever. Sigh.

After a while Ronnie lamented, "Why hasn't BATMAN stopped this?"

Harvey rolled his eyes. GREAT.

Ronnie sighed, "I mean, I can understand how, you know, police officers could be defeated by this evil… but BATMAN? Come on. He's BATMAN."

"Can you stop saying his name like that?" Harvey snapped, clearly angry.

And then walked on for a while… but unfortunately:

"I wish Batman were here… We really need a hero…"

Harvey stopped walking. His back stiffened.

"What?" Veronica was oblivious. "What's wrong?" She had felt his muscles shift.

Harvey looked down darkly and gritted his teeth. He wasn't gonna yell at her. He **wasn't** gonna yell at her...

He'd saved Paige and Veronica's lives TWICE now EACH. He was carrying the two women to safety slowly and surely step by step on foot…

He didn't exactly think of himself as a HERO or anything stupid like that… but JEEZ! They were doing ok without Batman! How insulting! She was always, always insulting him and now THIS.

"Nothing." He swallowed his rage. "I just think we're doing ok. I'm trying my best here."

Veronica spoke kindly, "Of course. I know. But you're hardly Batman, sweety."

Harvey's face twitched. And then he spoke slowly, trying to control his temper. "People in this town forget the good work NORMAL people do. People who don't dress up in Halloween costumes like LUNATICS to take the law into their own hands… Do you have ANY idea what it's like to be a COP in this crazy freaking town? We put our lives on the line every single day. We deal with the Joker and Firefly and Bane and all those dangerous idiots and their superhuman advantages over us just like Batman does… only without the million dollar fancy BS gadgets to even the playing field! I'm SORRY if we're not as flashy or all Hollywood. And that we're not as impressive or special or COOL, ok? We're doing our best! All we ask is a little respect and appreciation for all the bullets we take! I've faced just as many freakin' _freeze guns_, damn it!"

Veronica was dismissive and barely listening: "Harvey, RELAX. You're such an angry person."

They walked in silence for a moment…

And then Veronica added, "You can't blame people for not respecting police officers in this town. Most of them are crooked. The police force is corrupt."

"That makes it even HARDER to be one of the few good ones." Harvey hissed.

"Sure, sure… there are good cops…" Veronica was still dismissive. "I just don't understand why BATMAN isn't doing anything right now."

"He probably IS." Bullock scowled angrily. "Or maybe he's DEAD. I mean, if things have escalated this badly… maybe he failed or something… I dunno."

"Batman! Dead?" Veronica looked horrified. "What are we gonna do?"

"YOU KNOW…" Harvey's jaw tightened. "It's times like these that the average Joes need to rise to the occasion. We've become too dependent-"

"You're not answering my question." Ronnie interrupted impatiently.

"Yes, I was." Harvey sounded exasperated. "We're perfectly capable of-"

"Look, we clearly differ on the Batman issue. Let's just drop it." Ronnie sighed.

So, on they walked… until they came across a convenience store that was smashed open. Products were all over the place. Bullock took them cautiously into the store. As a cop, he knew they shouldn't loot a store… but they were dying and absolutely needed WATER… and it was all over the ground here…

So they snagged a few water bottles which Veronica carried in a plastic shopping bag around her wrist as she held Rusty.

"Keep an eye out for any cars that look halfway decent." Harvey told her sharply.

"I know, I know. You keep saying that." She hissed.

"Well, we're not walking like this forever, ok?" He hissed back. "We look like IDIOTS."

"That's your way of saying you're getting tired." Ronnie snorted.

"A guy carrying two chicks and a dog around like a pack mule? We look-"

And then he saw a car that was smashed into a lamp post, but was otherwise ok. Upon closer inspection he realized it still had keys in the ignition!

"Sweet…" He carelessly forced Ronnie off his back. She cried out unhappily.

* * *

The Batmobile sped along…

Batman was edgier than usual. "The whole thing with Nygma seemed forced. And this crime doesn't fit his profile."

Barbara was silently hacking what little remained of her hair off with some scissors.

Bruce continued, "And he said he was _feverish_. He felt too sick to play games. To drag it out as he usually would."

"Not right at all." She agreed. "For him, the game is the whole point."

"Between his unusual behaviour and his supposed fever… I'd say we're wasting our time with Nygma… He's likely just another decoy."

"Then who are we after?" Barbara was checking herself out in a built-in mirror.

Batman swatted the mirror away, angrily. Angry because he hadn't stopped the virus. Angry because Barbara was thinking about her hair at a time like this. Angry because once again she was compromising her alias. He snapped: "Barbara and Batgirl cutting their hair off at the same time will be just another tell sign!"

Barbara sighed, "Batgirl will just have get a totally new costume. And get shot at for a while until the police figure it out."

She sounded very disappointed though. In fact, she had tried to conceal the tears in her eyes when she'd initially realized she was going to lose all of her beautiful hair. She had tried to hide it, but Bruce wasn't an idiot. He'd noticed.

"Barbara will pretend her hair got burned in all this craziness. It won't be hard to believe." Batman told her bluntly. "Now, let's forget it and FOCUS…"

"Right. So… who are we after?" She repeated her initial question.

"Working on it."

"So… we're focusing on a whole lot of nothing right now…" she said irritably.

* * *

As the Queen of Hearts approached, the visitors mimicked the gardeners, and lay completely flat on the ground with their faces in the grass. They did not dare look at her…

And then the trumpets stopped and the procession halted.

The Queen had absolutely noticed them.

"Who are these people?" She asked regally.

No one answered.

"I said… WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?" She boomed, not so regally now.

Still no one answered.

"Idiots." The Queen snarled. "RISE." She approached the strangers.

Everyone instantly sprang to their feet

"What it your name, child?" She put her scepter under Tim's chin.

"Timothy, your majesty." Tim answered calmly.

And then the Queen noticed the three playing cards laying face down.

"Hmm…" She approached the cards. "Now which are these?"

Her cards were indistinguishable from the back – they could be soldiers, courtiers or even her own children. They all had the same pattern on their backsides from the same deck.

"Turn them over!" The Queen ordered. And the gardeners were flipped.

"Gardeners!" She somehow recognized them immediately once flipped. "RISE."

The cards stood nervously as she inspected the rose bush. She touched a blossom with her scepter and watched the paint drip.

Her face turned very red and she closed her eyes for a moment. Then she turned to the guards and said simply, "Kill them."

And with that, the three gardeners were quickly dragged away.

"NOW…" The Queen returned her attention to the strangers.

They held their breath, waiting anxiously for her to notice the paint on their clothes…

The Queen looked them over… and then unexpectedly asked:

"Do you play croquet?"

* * *

Harvey slammed the hood down. "Looks like it might run."

He half sat in the driver's seat with the door open and his legs out. "Let's try this…"

"UM…" Ronnie backed up fearfully. "Shouldn't we pull Paige away? In case it explodes or something? It's all smashed up!"

Harvey sighed irritably. "Would you relax, lady…"

And then he tried to start the car.

Ronnie backed away. "Are you sure about this? NO OFFENCE, but you're rather careless…"

And then the car started.

"You were saying?" Harvey challenged her.

* * *

Ally Knox was startled by a woman throwing herself onto his windshield.

"Ally! It's me!" She screamed, panicky.

Knox blinked and realized it was Summer Gleeson. Filthy, tattered and blood stained.

"Summer!" He managed.

"We've got to get out of town." She slid off the hood. "Everyone's dying!"

She tried his passenger door and it didn't open. She tried it again and realized it was locked. Looking at Knox, she realized he wasn't going to open the door for her.

"Ally, let me in! It's dangerous out here! We've got to escape!"

Knox's faltered and then managed to say, "Sorry, Summer. I can't. People aren't themselves right now. They're crazy and dangerous!"

"Ally, no-"

"For all I know, you've contracted the virus! You're contagious!"

Summer saw that he meant it and panicked, "I don't have it, I swear! I swear to God! Just please open the door! I'm gonna die out here!"

Ally hated himself. He really did. But the virus was deadly. It turned people in zombies.

"Ally, PLEASE…" Summer started to cry. "Please help me!"

"I'm so sorry. I know I'm probably going to Hell for this, but I just can't. You'd do the same if you were in my place. You really would."

"You've probably got it already!" Summer screeched at him through tears.

"Step away from the car!" He snapped, not wanting to run her over.

She started trying to climb back onto the hood. And so he roared around, risking running over her feet.

He looked back in the rearview mirror at her, standing there, left behind… and he felt like a total monster. A selfish, horrible excuse for a human being.

Especially since he'd always really liked Gleeson. She'd always been good to him. Unlike most people.

And so he hit the brakes. And opened the passenger door.

She immediately took the hint and sprinted down the street, eyes still teary…

"You changed your mind!" She hopped in, slamming the door.

"Lock it." He told her immediately. "People are really dangerous right now. They'll kill for a car. Trust me."

They sat in silence for a while as he drove.

He'd had to help her. How could he have lived with himself afterwards? Looking back on all the people he'd had to stomp selfishly to save himself… It would have been too horrible to live with.

Besides, his book would have to be full of LIES then, right? He couldn't include how he'd left a damsel in distress behind to die. He wouldn't be able to write or speak of the events at all.

Summer wiped her eyes and said, "Thanks for helping me."

"You'd have haunted me." He said seriously.

* * *

The Queen had ushered the little group into the procession and the entire entourage carried on regally towards her croquet grounds.

As they walked, the white rabbit managed to get up beside them.

"Beautiful day for croquet, isn't it?" He asked Tim politely.

Tim looked at the rabbit, but said nothing. He was miserable.

The rabbit turned to Arthur Reeves, "Fancy seeing you again."

"Look, I'm sorry about your house." Arthur frowned. "That was the dodo's doing. Not mine."

"All water under the bridge now, sir." The rabbit smiled nervously, glancing at the queen.

There was a silence and then Bullock unexpectedly whispered…

"So, why isn't the Duchess here?"

The rabbit's eyes widened suddenly. "SHHH!" He looked around nervously.

"What's wrong?" Bullock tipped his hat back. "Where is she?"

"The Duchess has been sentenced to death." The rabbit whispered quickly. "SHHH."

"No surprise there." Harvey snorted.

"What for?" Arthur asked.

"Did you say: _What a pity_?" The rabbit was shocked. "You obviously don't know her."

"NO, I said: _What for?_" Arthur answered.

"Oh…" The rabbit frowned. "Well, she's a venomous, evil thing… There's always something with her… "

"And she hasn't died yet?" Tim raised an eyebrow.

"She has a way of slipping out of executions." The rabbit said darkly. "And she'll likely do it again. Be on your guard for her. She's like a viper."

The procession suddenly stopped and all was silent.

"TAKE YOUR PLACES!" The Queen bellowed.

* * *

Harvey's eyes glanced up into the rearview mirror. Paige was asleep, stretched across the backseat. Veronica, holding Rusty, was dozing beside him in the passenger seat.

Finally… silence…

They were driving along slowly. The car worked, but not well. They had to go slow.

The idea was to make it to the hospital. He hoped the place was actually functioning.

But with the first major left turn, the car died. And it wouldn't restart. It was over.

Harvey cursed viciously and slammed the steering wheel so hard it startled Veronica awake again. She looked terrified of him.

Realizing he was about to lose it all over the place in a violent rage with a vicious string of profanity, the detective aggressively snatched a carton of cigarettes off the dashboard.

He lit one with shaky hands. And then as he smoked, he inhaled deeply and slowly and actually managed to calm himself down.

Veronica watched him nervously.

He continued to quietly inhale and exhale nicotine. He'd been wickedly addicted for years. And then he'd quit… only to flare up again in periods of extreme stress… He generally had a toothpick in his mouth now to suppress the craving.

Vreeland watched the smoke twirl and gradually became angry.

Once he seemed safe, she finally said: "You really shouldn't fill the car with smoke. We're dying, remember?"

He ignored her and continued to smoke.

"Hello?"

Vreeland was enough to drive any man back to smoking or drinking. LORD. He'd pretty much left smoking behind, replacing it with eating… but jeez… He was seriously considering starting up again. He was SO stressed out.

"HELLO?" Veronica hissed.

"Can you not talk right now?" He closed his eyes and fought the urge to freak out.

He was teetering at his breaking point and Vreeland's voice did not help.

Veronica was silent for a time and then she angrily snapped, "You selfish, selfish PRICK. Smoke all your want, just step out of the car!"

Harvey was about to SNAP. But then his eyes hit the mirror again and he saw Paige sleeping in the back. The beautiful brunette had some smoke swirling around her face. His anger vanished. He suddenly felt bad.

He immediately snuffed the cigarette out.

"Thank you." Veronica said stiffly, as if it was her doing. But it wasn't for her.

Harvey pulled a toothpick out, put in the corner of his mouth and started chewing. It was better than nothing.

They sat in silence for a while and then she just had to. She always had to.

"You're so difficult." Ronnie sighed loudly.

* * *

The royals, courtiers, aristocrats, guests, etc, all ran about frantically. They bumped into each other, tripped all over the place and snatched up whatever equipment they could.

After a few moments, everything settled and the game began.

The strange thing was… instead of mallets they used flamingos and instead of balls they used little hedgehogs…

Unfortunately, the flamingos and hedgehogs enjoyed being difficult.

Arthur tried to hold his bird by the legs to swing, but the silly thing curved its neck up towards him to look him right in the face. It gave him an evil grin.

"I thought you loved birds, Artie?" Bullock smirked.

Arthur sighed, a tired and sweaty mess. "I hate the world."

Tim tried to hold his by the middle, and then the neck, but the legs went wild. So he switched to the legs and then the head and neck went wild. And so, naturally, he used one hand to grab the legs and the other hand to grab the neck – and the freaking thing went ballistic and started flapping its wings all over the place…

It was literally dragging him all over the place, flapping its wings!

Summer was trying to use her body weight to hold her flamingo down. Unfortunately, it just stood up high and lifted her off the ground! She did everything in her power not to scream. She couldn't risk attracting negative attention.

Bullock, not doing any better, took out his boot laces and started tying his bird up into a straight, usable mallet.

But the bird freaked out and started biting the hell out of him. It actually drew blood!

Which resulted in an all out brawl… the detective and the bird were going to kill each other…The bird was flapping and scratching and freaking.

Edward looked left and right quickly. Then he kicked his hedgehog towards his loop. "OH!" He touched his cheek dramatically. "Look at that. An awesome shot."

Ivy smiled at him. And then continued to coo her flamingo. It smiled at her and was very cooperative.

Meanwhile, Ally was having no troubles at all. He was calmly working his way through the course. In his intoxicated state, using birds and hedgehogs made perfect sense and he was excelling at it.

"No one takes turns or anything. There's no rhyme or reason." Summer watched Ally. He was far ahead of them now. "I don't understand this."

"Just smack your hedgehog around." Eddie shrugged. "It's a nonsense game."

Unfortunately for Summer, Tim, Harvey and Arthur, flamingos and hedgehogs proved a problem. They were making quite the spectacle of themselves.

"What ARE you doing?" The Queen stopped and looked at the strangers.

Everyone froze. Even the birds and the hedgehogs.

"Um, nothing." Tim answered awkwardly.

"Carry on then." The queen passed by.

"That was too close." Arthur hissed at his flamingo. "Smarten up, damn it!"

"THERE." Bullock tied the last knot. His flamingo couldn't move anymore. It was tied tightly into a straight line. He prepared to swing it at the hedgehog… which was still being difficult…

Every time he swung, the hedgehog deliberately dodged to be difficult.

"What the hell?" Bullock was so frustrated. He had a mallet, but the ball dodged.

"ACK!" Tim threw back his head in frustration. "I… hate… this… game…"

"Worse. Game. Ever." Arthur agreed, very blunt.

In the background they could hear all sorts of people fighting over this and that rule… and fighting over who owned which hedgehog… they weren't exactly colour coded or anything.

And all the while, throughout the din, you could hear the Queen shouting: "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" or "OFF WITH HER HEAD!"

The Queen happened by and noticed Bullock's tied up bird.

"That's animal abuse!" She roared.

The detective froze.

"I like it!" The Queen boomed, walking away.

Arthur threw back his head and laughed. "That big, angry woman is your soul mate."

"Shut up." Bullock glared.

And so the game carried on… with many more death sentences being handed out…

Tim frowned, "They're awfully fond of executions here. How is anyone left alive?"

"It's a fantasy. It defies logic." Riddler shrugged.

* * *

"Well, the battery still works…" Harvey said quietly. He turned on the air conditioning to freeze their fevers.

They'd locked all four doors, taken their next dosage of fever reducer and decided to try to get some sleep before walking again. They needed rest very badly.

Paige was tossing and turning in the back.

Harvey went to lay his coat over her and Ronnie whispered, "No. No. We need her to be cold, right?"

The detective sat back down. He never got this chivalrous thing right. Yeesh.

Veronica leaned forward and clicked on the radio. Still nothing. Just fuzz.

She picked up a CD case. "Some music would really help now, hm?" She popped the CD in and it started playing:

_Maybe, baby, you're too pretty for me _

Harvey looked surprised.

_I'm not holding my breath_

_Coz you're too pretty for me _

_(You're too pretty for me)_

He immediately changed the track. Looking pissed.

Veronica burst out laughing at this. She found his reaction to the lyrics hilarious.

"Shut up." Harvey muttered, embarassed. "You remind me of Veronica from ARCHIE."

"I've always identified myself with her." Ronnie puffed up proudly.

Harvey looked shocked… then annoyed… and then exhausted. It wasn't worth it.

"Let's just go to sleep…" He settled into his seat and put his hat over his face.

_Don't give up…_

_Everyone needs to be loved…_

"Oh, hell no." He sat up to change the track again.

"Leave it!" Ronnie hissed. "I love this song."

And then she started laughing again. In a way that indicated she was just bothering him and that she found this all too hilarious.

"These songs hitting too close to home?" Ronnie added, giggling.

She clicked it to the next song:

_Can't read my, can't read my_

_No, he can't read my POKER FACE_

_(She's got me like nobody)_

"Next." The detective bluntly changed the track.

_Just dance, gonna be ok… _

_Da-doo-doo-da_

_Just dance! Spin the record, babe!_

"All this Gaga crap..." Harvey turned the CD off.

"Hey! That's an awesome song." Ronnie protested seriously now.

"I hate that 'Just Dance' mentality. Do you know how many annoyingly drunk party girls I've had to toss into my cruiser?" He did an amusing impression now: _"Where I am? Where's my keys? Where's my phone? Where's my other SHOE?"_ He shook his head. "Falls down the stairs… puts on MY freaking hat all laughing … asking ME where HER purse is…"

Ronnie laughed. She had laughed this whole time. He had unintentionally cheered her up.

"Seriously. When I joined the force I didn't realize there was gonna be so damn much of that crap… oy…" Bullock pulled his hat down again to sleep.

Ronnie smiled and turned the CD back on, skipping to another track…

_I like you a lot, lot_

_Think you're really hot, hot_

_Boys! Boys! Boys!_

"No music. Everything sucks." He bluntly turned the CD off again.

Ronnie laughed again. She realized, despite all his failings, she liked this guy.

"Just sleep." He snapped. And with that, he settled down again with his hat over his face.

"Are you always so likeable?" Veronica teased, trying to keep a straight face.

"SLEEP." He repeated, his face hidden under his hat.

* * *

"Ally…" Summer sounded nervous. "I doubt the gas in the trunk is going to be enough."

"Just ten more minutes." Knox insisted.

"To do what? Waste more gas when no gas stations are functioning?" Summer frowned. She desperately just wanted to escape Gotham City with their lives. She was a reporter too, but this scoop was NOT worth their lives. They needed to get out.

"There's enough gas in the trunk to make a getaway should we need to. Chill."

"We're not going to solve this thing. We just-"

"HEY!" Knox pointed excitedly down the road. "A green and purple car."

"Oh no, Ally." Summer frowned. "No way."

"Relax. It's abandoned. But still… I wanna check it out… Joker has been strangely silent during this crisis…"

"Ally, please." Summer grabbed his arm. "Don't. I don't want you to get hurt."

Knox loved the fact that she cared. And that she grabbed him desperately. A warm smile came to his face. He couldn't help it.

"Relax, sweety. I'm not made of glass, ok? I'm alright." He pulled away and climbed out of the car.

Hurrying over to the Joker car, he stopped short and realized it might have traps or something ready to spring… Hmm…

He tried to peer in the windows, but couldn't see much.

Knox glanced at Summer who was urging him to come back to her. He shook his head no and then went for it quickly before he could change his mind. He opened the door.

Nothing bad happened. So he started searching around the front seats quickly. He was hoping to find some scraps of paper… some clues… SOMETHING…

"What's this?" He smirked, pulling out a cell phone. Knox opened the phone and was surprised to find it had signal. What? IT WORKED.

"Who's your service provider, Chuckles? Not a phone in this city has worked all night."

He checked his own cell quickly and saw it was as useless as ever. HM…

The criminal's cell was like any other cell. So Ally quickly went into the address book. There were very few names in the address book. And one said BOSS.

Hmm… The phone had battery and signal, so he selected BOSS and dialed.

Sure enough. It actually worked! The call was going through.

* * *

"Please… Please don't…" Arthur's voice was shaking. He was going to cry soon.

"What's wrong? Never fired a gun before? Want me to show you how?" Joker smiled, pretending to be very helpful.

Arthur had a gun in his hands, while Joker was typing his instructions.

A young girl who had been done up in clown make-up with pigtails was tied up in front of them. She was crying, smearing the makeup. She couldn't be more than sixteen.

"Please… please don't…" She cried to Arthur, shaking.

Joker yawned and started typing.

"I'm sorry…" Arthur told her, his voice trembling. "I'm really, really sorry."

Joker was still typing… Arthur and the young girl were terrified and tearful…

With each keystroke, Reeves' heartbeat and breathing became more erratic. Tears formed. They were about to spill down his cheeks. His finger was on the trigger.

Suddenly, Joker's cell phone rang. He stopped typing and looked at the phone.

The caller ID read: Alfonso.

"Alfonso?" The clown made a confused, unimpressed expression. He turned to Harley Quinn, "I thought I shot him."

Harley shrugged.

"Hello, dear." Joker answered sweetly, batting his eyelashes.

* * *

Ally Knox nearly panicked. He recognized Jack's voice immediately.

He recovered, however, grunting: "Boss… I've got car trouble…"

He silently clicked on his tape recorder and held it close. Just in case.

* * *

Joker looked at a large monitor behind them. It showed where all his cars were.

The clown smiled. "Car trouble? That would make sense. Considering I deactivated it yesterday. You know, back when I shot you dead."

Silence on the other end.

"Who is this?" Joker smiled.

"Why didn't you deactivate the phone too?" A very rational, quipping voice asked.

"Hmm…" Joker mused. "Everyone's a critic."

He signaled Harley to go over to the computer. She did so immediately.

Knox, as always, decided to push his luck. "SO, are you behind this virus or what?"

Joker laughed. "Haven't you heard? Arthur Reeves is to blame. Never vote for him again."

And then Jack winked at Arthur, who had been watching intensely all this time.

"Uh-huh… Well, if you're NOT behind this super virus… Why do YOUR phones work and no one else's do? Hm?"

Joker's expression changed entirely. OH. Right.

"The phones are out? I didn't realize." The clown shrugged playfully.

"You've been strangely inactive during this crisis. Laying low to avoid contamination?"

"You know, you've got an interviewer's voice. Anyone ever tell you that?" Jack asked cheerfully.

Harley signaled Joker suddenly. She pointed to the screen.

Joker signaled his men to also look and then to leave immediately.

He then said: "Actually, love. As fun as this is, I've got to dash. But keep the phone. Call whenever you like. It isn't everyday I have a pleasant voice take interest in me."

"Wait-"

Joker clicked his phone shut.

"Hopefully the idiot keeps the phone on him." The clown sighed.

"Why didn't you keep him on the line longer?" Harley was confused.

"He's pushy. And clever. I hate that combination."

And then he remembered Arthur Reeves. "Ah, yes. Now where were we?"

Arthur looked like he was ready to jump off a bridge. Or before a speeding train.

* * *

Ally looked at the screen. The call had been disconnected.

Perhaps he'd try again later. Or hand it over to the police. Or something.

He turned it off, pocketed it and jogged briskly back to his car.

"WELL?" Summer asked anxiously as he closed the door behind him.

"Joker's people have phone service." Ally shrugged.

"Who did you call on his phone? 911?" She was confused. "Who could answer?"

"Joker." Ally tried to sound cool and indifferent about it.

Summer paled.

"He's obviously behind this. He's got phone service and he's keeping outta dodge."

"Ally…" Summer swallowed.

"Relax. He has no way of knowing it was me."

"What if he tracks the phone…" Summer insisted. "Throw it away."

Knox sighed, "I turned it off. It can't be tracked when turned off."

Yes it could.

* * *

Ronnie sighed, "If only Batman would show up…"

"Alright, Cleopatra. End of the line." Harvey stopped and forced Ronnie off his back.

"What?" She gasped.

"My back hurts and you're a bitch." He said simply.

"Look, I know I haven't exactly been nice to you-"

"SHH, shut up!" He put his fingers to her lips for a second. "You hear that?"

Ronnie swatted his hand away. "You boorish brute-"

"SHH!" He motioned towards a truck parked beside nearby. He set Paige down carefully on the ground and walked over to the vehicle cautiously.

"What is it?" Veronica asked uncertainly, looking around.

"I heard voices or something."

"In the back of this truck?" The socialite raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Come on, Harvey. Let's just go. We're near the hospital now."

He gave her an irritated look and then, going with his gut, he knocked on the truck.

People slammed back, freaking out. "HELP! We're trapped!" could he heard.

"OH!" Veronica paled. "They need help!"

Harvey rushed around to the back and opened the doors.

Sure enough, several men were trapped in the back of the truck. One, he recognized immediately as a former officer.

"GIL?" Harvey was shocked to see Gil Mason, his former boss.

"Do I know you?" The handsome young man asked pleasantly.

"We used to work together." Harvey answered, still very surprised.

"Oh... As a cop or a criminal? I don't remember much." Gil shrugged honestly.

"I'm a cop." Harvey answered. "What are you doing in this truck?"

"OH YA!" Gil's face filled with horror. "There's a man with two faces who kidnapped us and is trying to KILL US!"

Harvey paled and went for his gun immediately. He whirled around, but it was too late.

Two Face was standing behind him with a revolver pointed at his chest.

"You could have mentioned that sooner!" Harvey snarled harshly at Gil.

Two Face chuckled darkly. "Ah, Harv… I've missed your sense of humour…"

The cop didn't need instructions. He dropped his gun and lifted his hands.

"Look…" Bullock spoke carefully, calmly. "I know we're on opposite sides of this thing now. But we were friends once. At least give me a coin toss. A 50/50 chance."

Dent chuckled again. "For old time's sake?"

"Please don't kill us!" Veronica panicked. "Please! I'm rich and I'll pay anything!"

"Ronnie…" Bullock sounded tired.

"PLEASE!" She fell on her knees before Two Face, terrified.

Two Face ignored Ronnie completely and told Bullock: "Close the truck."

Bullock turned and closed the door on Gil and the others. Gil looked apologetic, while the others looked frightened. Either way, they'd missed their only chance.

"Now, don't move." Two Face ordered.

Bullock froze with his back to Dent. _Oh no. Please not in the back…_

"Harv, remember that night I took ya out for your birthday after work and we all got smashed? You told me that night that you expected to get shot dead. And that it didn't bother you. You just didn't wanna take it in the back… right? You said the thought scared you."

The detective stopped breathing.

They stood in silence as he waited for it. Hopefully he'd just die right away.

"Well, relax. Turn around."

"So you can shoot me front-wise? Forget it. If you're gonna pop me, just do it."

Silence. And then laughter.

Two Face then said, "Well now. You actually are tough. I thought it was an act. I thought you'd beg, you'd bargain… but no… Nicely done. Nice death."

BANG!

Veronica screamed and Bullock jumped.

His heart raced and his ears rang and… What the hell? How was he still alive?

"Not a peep out of you." Two Face spoke sadistically. "Nice."

And then he unexpectedly spun Bullock around and barked: "Now, march inside. We can use all the test subjects we can get."

Veronica tearfully rose to her feet and stumbled nervously into Bullock. She was shaking and couldn't take her eyes off the gun.

Then Dent noticed Paige on the ground nearby.

"Actually, pick up that girl. Dead or alive, we can use her too."

* * *

As the little group of outsiders stuck together and battled their flamingos…

A smiling cat appeared before them casually.

"Just ignore him." Ed frowned. "He's designed to make a person hate themselves."

"How's the game going?" The cat smiled an enormous smile.

"Terribly." Arthur Reeves muttered. "There are no rules, the equipment is impossible to use and everyone's being executed."

"He seems to be doing fine." The cat motioned to Knox who was long gone on the other side of the field.

"It takes a crazy to play crazy." Edward smiled.

"How do you like the Queen?" The cat smirked.

"Not at all-" Tim whispered.

And then he realized the Queen was nearby and finished:

"-likely that I'm going to win. Might as well give up now!"

The cat chuckled.

"Who are you talking to?" The King of Hearts approached suspiciously.

"The Cheshire Cat." Tim pointed to the strange cat.

"I don't see any cat." The king frowned.

"Right there." Tim pointed, becoming nervous.

Edward was trying to signal him to shut up.

The King whirled around and still saw no cat anywhere. The cat was being difficult on purpose and he continued to appear and reappear all over the place.

"Boy, I see no cat!" The king was losing his patience.

"What's going on?" The Queen approached irritably.

Tim paled. Oh no…

"This boy is imagining cats." The king sounded irritated.

Tim realized he was already committed and tried his best to explain, "I was speaking to a Cheshire Cat, your majesty. It can appear and reappear at will. I-"

And then he saw the cat on her head and cried out: "It's right on your head!"

The Queen whirled around and saw no cat.

Her face reddened dangerously. "Child… you try my patience…"


	11. Batman Finally Figures Things Out

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 11: Batman Finally Figures Things Out**

_Disclaimer: Batman and Wonderland clearly aren't mine. _

_A/N: I realize I'm writing a novel here. Thanks to any with the patience to stick it out and follow along. Reviews are really, really appreciated!_

* * *

Barbara and Bruce were scrambling to save as many people as they could from a burning apartment building in the west end of town. They'd been initially driving to Scarecrow's hideout to check on his antidote's progress, but they couldn't just drive by and let people perish in the flames.

"This virus is just phenomenally crippling…" Batgirl frowned. "The whole city is collapsing under its weight. I'm astounded..."

"Well, Gotham was decaying to begin with." Batman was grim. "None of this surprises me at all."

"And we're no closer to figuring out what to do to STOP it all."

"I'm confused by the lack of outside intervention." He admitted.

They turned to go back to the car… but then froze. There was chuckling behind them.

"I heard the Riddler burned your hair, sweety. Can I burn the rest of you?"

Barbara whirled around, "Firefly!"

Flames shot down at the pair as Firefly, all in silver, flew down at them aggressively.

But then he abruptly stopped, "Oh wait. Wait. I forgot. Just a sec." He paused to click a little button on his suit. Suddenly, Cassidy music started playing from his wings. He had been dangerously obsessed with the pop starlet at one point. He cleared his throat and prepared himself to strike. He spoke factually, "That's better. Sets the mood."

And then he realized how the Bats were staring at him. All wide eyed.

"Oh, don't worry. I'm totally over her. But you have to admit. It's a catchy song."

"You're insane." Barbara just stared at him in astonishment.

"UM… you're just realizing this NOW?" Firefly smirked behind his mask.

And then he came at them with flames again.

* * *

Edward whistled as he pushed a large shopping cart of puzzle books out of a department store window that was shattered. He had an extremely high fever and should have been in bed drinking fluids, but he couldn't resist raiding the store when it was SO easy.

He'd go and lie down now with these books. He felt terrible.

"Eddie!" A familiar female voice shouted.

He turned and saw Poison Ivy approaching with Penguin and Bane.

"Ah, grabbing the essentials in a time of crisis, I see…" Penguin eyed the cart sarcastically.

"Why not?" Eddie shrugged pleasantly.

"Eddie…" Ivy smiled sweetly. Not knowing he'd betrayed her with Joker pre-virus. "We're organizing an alliance of villains. Two Face and Scarecrow are coming up with an antidote to this virus as we speak."

"That's wonderful." Ed smiled. "I guess we won't die after all."

"That's yet to be seen." Penguin sounded cold.

"Two Face and Scarecrow aren't in the alliance." Ivy explained grimly.

"OH." Riddler saw what this was right away. "And so you're building a team to take the antidote by force. I see."

"Exactly. I knew you'd understand." Ivy smiled.

"Forgive me." Eddie smiled warmly. "I'm a question man. I must ask. 1) How do we know this? 2) Has anyone approached them to be in the alliance or are we just making assumptions and attacking regardless? And 3) Why don't the brains on your side try to create a cure of your own? Scarecrow isn't as brilliant… as I dunno… MYSELF, perhaps…"

"You're not a doctor, Ed. You're not a scientist. Last time I checked, you designed video games or something." Penguin glared unkindly.

"You've taken a tone with me from the get-go, Ozzie. What's your problem?" Ed was unimpressed.

Penguin glanced at Ivy. She gave him a warning glare.

But Penguin decided to disregard her and say his piece regardless: "I suspect YOU are behind this virus, frankly. The Bats were searching for you at my Longue earlier tonight. They suspected you. Apparently you redirected them to me as a red herring. This I did not appreciate. Either way, we're only here because of Poison Ivy. She INSISTS we can trust you. She's personally assured us you will join us and will be an asset to our effort."

"If it is Eddie's virus, he'll know how to stop it." Ivy hissed viciously. "Maybe if you played your cards properly we'd get somewhere. Instead, you're botching everything! You're doing exactly what I told you NOT-"

Ed interrupted impatiently. He was too ill for this nonsense. "Look, I'm not behind the virus. I'm a victim of it. Someone was controlling me earlier tonight. I kept leaving bizarre clues I didn't even understand. And then I may or may not have blown up the Bats at a warehouse. I have no idea. All I know is that I'm really sick and I need some sleep. So SOMEONE answer my damn questions!"

"Allow me to answer, Edward." Bane finally spoke. "Clayface was working with Two Face and Scarecrow. He contracted the virus, however, and was cut from their deal. They have isolated themselves and will not work with anyone now for fear of contamination. As for creating our own cure, we have Jervis Tetch and some other scientist allies working on some possibilities, but it looks bleak. Scarecrow may have a cure already and there are certainly enough of us to take him."

Ed sighed, "You're assuming he isn't expecting something like this. I certainly would if I was hogging an antidote to myself. He's probably got some massive fear bomb planted to protect himself. Johnny Crane is constantly underestimated. Always an error."

"We've got to TRY." Ivy insisted. "Come on, Eddie. We need you onboard."

"And your source is CLAYFACE." Ed frowned. "A skilled shape shifter, yes… but I'm not entirely certain how a brain exists within all that malleable clay. It's always kinda puzzled me."

Ivy looked at him in a way that was tough to read. Underneath her serious, wicked exterior he sensed she was somewhat sad and disappointed he wasn't just jumping on the bandwagon. She'd vouched for him and everything.

He sighed loudly and figured he'd hear out the whole deal for her sake.

"Well, who else is onboard?" He was skeptical. He was sick and wanted to sleep.

"Too many to name." Ivy assured him. "We're putting together a solid team."

"Sweety, I'm very grumpy when I'm sick. I'd appreciate specifics." He sighed again.

"We've got over a dozen high profile super villains already." Bane answered. "And more on the way… We've split up to gather as many allies as quickly as possible…"

"I see… Well, if you wanted me onboard Ozzie here is doing a GREAT job of winning me over." Edward glared at Penguin.

"Batman suspects you. So I suspect you." Penguin glared.

"Well, if it's my virus, why am I dying of it?" Ed hissed as he pulled out a thermometer. He put it in his ear. "Wait for it…" He said as he saw Penguin impatiently tapping his foot. When it beeped Edward showed it to the others: 104.

"He does look very feverish." Ivy frowned. "You're so _sweaty_, Ed."

"Why thank you." Ed said irritably. "I'm sure dying looks VERY sexy."

"You ARE uncharacteristically grumpy." Ivy made a very pretty frown.

Edward sighed, "Is Firefly onboard? He's singlehandedly burning this city down."

The three villains looked at each other. It hadn't come up.

Eddie rolled his eyes, "OK. So if I'm joining, that's our next objective. We need to rein him in and stop him. He's destructive and not on EITHER side so he's currently a threat. He's just mindlessly creating obstacles and danger for us right now."

"So you're with us?" Ivy looked hopeful.

"If there's any chance of an antidote, I'm onboard." Edward sighed. "It's better than just sitting around doing puzzles hoping that I can ride out this fever."

* * *

"Clock King!" Killer Croc boomed. "We need to talk."

Temple whirled around and saw three villains approaching him. Killer Croc, Clayface and Killer Moth. An unlikely trio. What was going on?

"Gentlemen!" He smiled confidently. He was a man of great poise.

"Clock King. We need to talk." Croc repeated when they were face to face.

"So you've said, my good man. What's the trouble?"

Clayface decided to take over, as Croc looked confused. "OK… listen… we're forming an alliance of villains to take the cure for the virus from Two Face and Scarecrow. They have it. We know they do. Are you in or out?"

Fugate smiled. "Aptly put, dear chap. I'm in."

"Then come with us." Killer Moth fluttered forward. "We're all supposed to regroup asap. There's going to be a lot of us. Our victory is assured."

Fugate followed them, strutting confidently.

Of course he was going to join. The Joker would WANT him to infiltrate this group!

His orders were to report back all that was happening in the outside world and this was of extreme significance. A potential antidote to Joker's virus! The clown would absolutely want to know.

Unfortunately for the coalition of villains, Clock King would be no ally, but rather a mole…

* * *

"Ally, please…" Summer glanced over at her friend nervously. "Let's just get out of town. PLEASE."

Knox sighed inwardly. He caught of glimpse of his eyes in the rearview mirror. He looked tired and sick. He was pretty much certain now that he'd contracted the virus, though he wasn't saying anything to Summer yet.

Moreover, they were getting absolutely nowhere trying to get the scoop. They really were going to run out of gasoline if they didn't give up soon.

He also felt guilty for frightening Summer so badly all night. She was in a perpetual state of anxiety. He'd never realized what an intense and anxious person she was. She'd always seemed so calm, collected and confident. A smart, tough cookie. He'd always been really impressed by her gumption and grit out chasing stories!

And YET… wow… the truth of the matter was that it was a total façade. She was super anxious and really tightly wound. She wasn't what she pretended to be at work.

But strangely, he liked her all the more for it. She seemed touchable now. Human. It was like he'd gotten past her mask. It was endearing!

"Ally…" She implored sadly, bringing him back to reality.

"Ok, ok." He smiled. "We'll go now."

Summer looked so happy suddenly. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"But I just want you to know…" He teased her as he turned the car around. "We're probably missing the scoop of the century."

"I appreciate you making the sacrifice." She said sympathetically.

He smirked, "Just teasing, chickadee. Now let's skip town. Old movie style."

* * *

Veronica was still crying and pleading as Two Face walked them into Scarecrow's hideout, a gun to their backs.

"PLEASE… I'll pay anything you want…" She kept saying variations of this. She did not want to be a test subject. Whatever that specifically meant. She was terrified.

"Harvey…" Two Face frowned. "Your girl is really annoying. Never shuts up."

"I'm not his girl." Ronnie spat in a way that unintentionally insulted Bullock.

"That's right. You're the babbling spinster type." Two Face snapped harshly. "You need to learn to shut your trap!"

Veronica started crying silently. She was so frightened. She couldn't die like this!

"If these are the women in your life, Harv, I pity you. One's comatose, the other is just plain obnoxious." Two Face added, irritated.

The detective knew it was best to say nothing. Unlike Veronica, he knew when it was safer to be silent. She was dooming herself by freaking out and annoying her captor.

He looked down at Paige in his arms. She was asleep, her face visible. Her hair was still wet and she was all flushed. She looked extremely vulnerable. He tightened his hold on her. When it came down to it, he wasn't going to be able to protect her. They'd just take her. It bothered him.

As they walked, he tried to tune out Veronica's crying... He just looked at Paige…

"Through those doors." Two Face barked unexpectedly.

Bullock walked into Scarecrow's make shift lab.

"Some new test subjects." Two Face explained from the rear. "Well, not this bimbo. I recognize her as Bruce's friend. Vreeland. She'll fetch a high ransom. Should we survive this thing, I mean…"

"Well, we've got enough test subjects. We can set her aside." Scarecrow said dismissively, barely looking up from his microscope.

Veronica visibly relaxed with the realization that she wasn't going to die.

And then Crane caught sight of Bullock and sat straight up.

"Well, well, well…" Crane smiled. "Harvey Bullock. How very thrilling. I've always wanted to slice you open for throwing me in a cell so many times."

Bullock again said nothing. He just stared coldly at Scarecrow.

And then Crane saw Paige and came over. He went to touch Paige's forehead and Harvey instinctively jerked the girl away. He didn't want them touching her.

But then he heard Two Face's gun click behind him. Damn it.

"Always with the hero stuff." Crane shook his head irritably. "Stop trying for the leading man. The role doesn't suit you at all. You're a secondary character at best. A bumbling secondary character likely intended for comic relief."

"And an expendable one. Not crucial to the plot. So cooperate, bud." Two Face growled.

Harvey silently allowed Crane to touch Paige. "Hmm…" The doctor said thoughtfully. "She's holding up VERY well. Better than any I've seen so far. She was obviously very healthy and physically fit. But, nevertheless, she can't last forever. Oh well, dead or alive, I'll use her. Take them away." He turned to Two Face. "I won't need any of them for quite a while."

And then Crane saw Rusty and froze, staring.

"That's it!" He shouted gleefully. "Tetch always used animals for his experiments. This virus was probably cultivated using animal..." He trailed off and shook his fists in extreme excited. "YES!" … Then he snapped passionately, "Leave the dog! I'll work on it immediately! It may very well hold the information I'm missing!"

Veronica looked so sad as Two Face snatched Rusty from her arms.

Bullock avoided her gaze. There was nothing they could do. In the end, it was just a dog. Sure, it was HIS dog. The only living creature who was EVER happy to see him in this life… but… well… He had to let it go. There was nothing he could do.

_Sorry buddy. _He looked back at the little terrier as they were ushered away by Two Face.

They were taken to a small back room. It was a metal room. Like a freezer or a safe. A vault of some sort. There were two men already in there.

There were no other doors, air vents… nothing… just six shiny, metal walls.

Two Face slammed the door behind them and locked it loudly on the other side.

"They aren't going to tie us up? Or guard us?" Veronica was shocked.

"They haven't the man power." One of the men on the floor muttered. "It's just the two of them. Or so we figure."

"Should'a tried to take 'em…" Harvey grumbled irritably. He was mad at himself.

"Don't be stupid." Ronnie hissed. "You'd have gotten yourself SHOT."

Harvey looked down sadly, his messy hair all she could see. He knew that.

"I'm Jake." The first man introduced himself without bothering to stand. "He's Kenny."

Ronnie smiled at them politely in greeting. She was much better now that her life was secured. Her money, once again, was going to pull her through one of these ugly situations. Unfortunately for men like Harvey, Jake and Kenny… not everyone was so lucky…

Harvey held Paige tightly to his chest. He had to think of something fast.

* * *

Two Face walked back into the lab. He was headed back outside.

"Watch out for him." He motioned to the back. "Harv's not as stupid as he seems. He didn't make detective for no reason."

* * *

"Baby Doll? The Ventriloquist?" Edward was unimpressed. "You said HIGH PROFILE. Oh my LORD. Maybe I should join Two Face's side."

Ivy laughed out loud.

Penguin was furious. "We've got lots of other people onboard."

"Like WHO?" Edward sighed. "Killer Croc? Killer Moth?"

"Yes. Both of them." Penguin smirked.

"OH GOD. I was being sarcastic. That's terrible!" Edward smacked his forehead.

Penguin looked pissed and they walked on in an angry silence.

"Who's next? Condiment King? JEEZ." Ed rolled his eyes. What a fiasco.

Finally, Eddie said, "That ex-super model… um, _Calendar Girl_, she was big in the media before this hit. She's quite the fighter. With some cutting edge technology too. Anyone approached her?"

"She's totally fallen off the radar." Ivy answered. "And none of us know her, either way."

"I don't know anyone professionally or personally acquainted with her." Bane admitted. "She seems to be doing her own independent thing. Small time and personal. She has no interest in organized crime."

"She's not like us. She's just some twisted girl." Penguin snorted. "Hardly worth our time."

"We're recruiting Clock King as we speak." Bane changed the subject.

"That wannabe poser? He's SO trying to be an older, British ME." Edward snorted.

"He's not British." Ivy was confused.

"SEE? He can't even succeed at THAT." Edward threw his arms up.

"You WISH you had that man's poise and dignity." Penguin glared.

"NO, you wish YOU did. You act in that gentlemanly vein." Edward replied, irritated.

"Some of us have some class." Penguin glared angrily.

"Boys, boys, boy." Ivy sighed.

"What about Joker?" Edward asked. "Who's spoken to him? How he weighs in on this situation is going to be of great significance."

Silence for the other three.

Eddie sighed. "OK. Give me a second."

He pulled out his cell phone. "I'll see what's up." He said pretentiously. He loved flaunting the fact that he had Joker on speed dial and could just casually call him at any time. It was like broadcasting – 'Jack and I are tight.'

"The phone's are dead, you ostentatious twit." Penguin snorted.

Edward's smile left his face. "OH. Well. I guess we'll have to let Jack make his move." JACK. He just had to get that in there. He always called him Jack. He knew it would bother Ozzie to flaunt that as well.

"That's generally how it rolls with the clown." Bane sounded indifferent. "We'll see."

"So… any idea if the League of Shadows could be behind the virus? They are perfectly capable of executing a crisis of this magnitude." Ed suggested.

Again, silence.

"Is this why you recruited me?" Edward was frustrated.

"Well, you are the question man, sweety." Ivy smiled cutely.

* * *

Joker watched a little green dot moving along the screen.

"He's leaving town." Harley Quinn frowned.

"Not to worry." Joker pointed to the purple dots that were quickly approaching the green one. "The boys are almost… ah…"

* * *

Ally froze. Up ahead, preparing to make a right turn onto their street was a purple and green joker car. The driver hadn't seen them yet.

"OH… MY…" Summer paled in terror.

"Come on! RUN!" Knox kicked his car door open and started running down an ally. Summer followed on his heels, terrified.

"I knew it." She panicked. "I knew they'd track that phone."

"It could just be a coincidence." Ally answered, panting.

They hit the next street and a truck was suddenly coming directly at them at high speed. The driver slammed on the horn, but refused to break or swerve. Not for anyone. No freaking way. The man driving was going to escape town no matter what. He couldn't slow down and risk loons jumping in the back.

So Knox pushed Summer out of the way and tossed the cell phone in the back as the truck passed. Unfortunately, the truck grazed his leg and it really, really hurt. OUCH.

He limped into the next narrow ally with Summer.

"Come on, Alex, we've got to keep moving." She tugged on him, terrified.

"My leg is wrecked." Ally realized gravely. "I can't run anymore."

"Maybe it's just smarting. Maybe it will be ok in a bit. Let's hide!"

Knox looked back and hoped that the Joker's men would follow the truck now.

* * *

"Child, you're trying my patience…" The Queen warned dangerously.

Tim looked into the cat's eyes fearfully, pleading with it to cooperate.

And so the cat slowly appeared before the King and Queen.

"UGH. What is it?" The King was displeased.

"A Cheshire Cat." Tim was so relieved.

"Well, I don't like the look of it at all." The King announced. "Dear…"

"Yes, yes, off with its head…" The Queen muttered with a dismissive wave of her arm. She had lost interest and was walking away now.

"You heard her majesty! Seize that cat at once." The king spoke proudly to the guards.

But the cat disappeared. And then reappeared and then disappeared. All over the place. The guards could not catch the creature. It was just impossible.

The cat laughed merrily. It was having a grand time.

The king became very upset and agitated and called for her wife… who didn't care anymore…

Finally, the king hissed at Tim Drake, "Do something with your cat or you shall be executed!"

Tim was naturally frightened. He had NO idea what to say. It wasn't his cat.

"Actually…" Bullock stepped forward. "It's the duchess' cat."

"The duchess!" The king gasped, as though the very name of Evil had been spoken.

Everyone around gasped, hands over their mouths, staring at Bullock in shock.

"You say, this is the duchess' cat?" The king repeated seriously.

"You bet." Bullock answered too nonchalantly for the circumstances.

The Queen stormed forward. "Then send for her at once!"

"But she's to be executed at noon." The king fretted. "It's two minutes to noon!"

"Then the guards had better RUN!" The queen boomed.

* * *

Ra's Al Ghul watched the devastation on CNN. Gotham City was finally falling.

His agents were providing him with much more accurate information than the television. Little outsider intervention was happening at this time, for fear of a full blown pandemic starting. They were trying to quarantine the virus and trap it in Gotham only.

He had considered any possible advantages of becoming involved in the crisis. But the virus was totally unknown and extremely contagious and lethal.

A mastermind of international proportions, he knew when to sit on the sidelines and just watch and wait. An opportunity might present itself eventually. But for now, there were no benefits to becoming involved. He wasn't touching this madness with a ten foot poll.

Let Gotham City burn. The League of Shadows would play no part.

He clicked off the television and decided it was time for bed.

* * *

"Is this a vault or something?" Veronica asked uneasily.

No one answered.

"How much air do you think is in here?" Veronica looked around. There was absolutely no way for air to get in.

Harvey looked around. It may have been a freezer at one point. He wasn't sure what kind of building they were in. He hadn't seen any indications.

And then he noticed there was a door knob on the inside. To prevent workers from getting locked in. It looked extremely old. It was the only vulnerable point in the whole room. Hmm…

"He'll come back with more people." Jake piped up.

"Fedora here looks tough enough to take him by surprise." Kenny said. "Just wait at the door for him to open it and pounce."

Harvey looked skeptical. "As if he doesn't expect that, pal. Good way to die before I have to."

"It's probably our only option." Veronica whispered.

"Not really." Harvey motioned to the door handle. "That might fall out."

He pulled a knife from his leg. He pressed his ear to the door to hear if there was any noise on the other side. He did NOT want to do this if someone was around to hear or see on the other side.

And then he took the risk. He started messing around with the old handle. Right away it became clear that if it was going to work it would take a very, very long time!

"That's your big plan?" Veronica was horrified. "Oh my GOD…"

She turned to the other men. "Pray for Batman."

Harvey ignored her as he worked away at the door knob. He hoped it would fall and leave a hole. There was a chance.

Veronica sat down. Harvey sat down, but continued to work away.

He switched to a smaller little sharp tool he had in his coat sleeve for picking locks and cutting through bonds. He'd realized he needed something of the sort to slip into his hands because he was tied up regularly by criminals. He was sick of being rescued by Batman all the time.

And then he realized that the knob was probably as loose as it was gonna get. DAMN.

He looked sad for a moment. And then frustrated, he slammed the door knob with his hand and WHAM!

It fell through and left a hole.

Harvey cringed as it clattered. He expected someone to come. He had no time!

He tried to put his hand through, but it was way too big.

"Let me!" Veronica got very close and immediately put her little, thin hand through.

"What's on the other side?" He whispered closely to her face.

She smiled at him. "I feel the dead bolt thingy…"

"Smart lady. Turn it."

"It's hard to reach up there… UM… Ok…. I… There!"

They heard it unlock.

"We really did it!" She grabbed his trench coat, smiling a huge smile.

He sprang up with his knife, "If the four of us-"

"I'm not going." Ronnie gasped.

Harvey turned to the two men. They weren't willing to go either.

This was ridiculous. But there was NO TIME to argue. He had to go now. With our without them.

"Fine." He muttered. "I've faced worse odds than this before."

"Be careful." Veronica whispered nervously.

Harvey sighed and slowly and silently opened the door… GREAT…

* * *

Robin hated chains. Chains inside a cage. Chains inside a cage with several guards.

His reputation as a little escape artist had obviously preceded him.

He shifted his wrists over and over again, but he just couldn't get it.

Tim looked through the bars at the villains they'd left behind. And the ten random goons who'd stayed loyal throughout the virus.

Baby Doll, the Ventriloquist, Red Claw and one of Riddler's girls were playing cards. He assumed poker. Baby Doll looked extremely pissed. They must have been playing for money.

The Mad Hatter was off by himself working at a desk on some science thing. Hmm…

One of the goons rattled the bars, startling him. "What are you looking at, twerp?"

"Who uses THAT word anymore?" Tim raised an eyebrow.

The villains looked over from their card game. Tim smiled. "Deal me in?"

* * *

Firefly continued to come at the Bats with everything he had. And he was packing a lot of firepower this night. It was overwhelming…

"You guys are usually more coordinated and effective." Firefly commented from behind a deadly wall of fire. "I'm surprised you aren't doing better tonight."

"Cut the chit chat!" Barbara snarled. "You belong in Arkham."

"Ya, why'd they send me to Stonegate last time?" Firefly asked randomly.

Batman kept throwing batarangs into the fire, but they weren't connecting. The pair couldn't SEE through the enormous, overwhelming wall of fire that was trapping them. He had to think of something tricky. Coz this wasn't working.

"HEY, weirdo!" A familiar voice shouted.

They heard a loud kicking sound and the wall of fire disappeared.

Firefly hit the ground. Nightwing stood over him.

"Weirdo?" Firefly frowned behind his silver mask. "WACKO is more appropriate."

And then unexpectedly, he blew fire into Nightwing's face, surprising him.

Firefly sprang into the air and started to fly away.

Batman and Batgirl both shot their grappling hooks at the same moment to snag his ankle. Their shots struck each other and cancelled each other out.

Firefly stopped flying. "That was AWESOME. Suck it, Bat-freaks!" And he laughed.

Batman scowled and shot another grappling hook. This one caught Firefly's ankle.

"OK. Shouldn't have stopped flying." The villain admitted, feeling the pull.

Batman and Batgirl grabbed the line and tried to stay on the ground.

"Tsk. Tsk. We've dance this dance before, children." Firefly pulled out a fire sword and cut the cable easily, flying away. "See ya next time! Always a pleasure!"

Batman scowled.

Nightwing, face slightly burned, was still partially blinded. Ouch.

"You ok?" Barbara asked, approaching him.

"Ya, ya." Dick turned away dismissively.

Barbara stepped back, unimpressed.

Grayson turned to Bruce, "What the hell's going on in this town?"

* * *

Joker answered his cell impatiently, "Yes?"

"Boss, I don't think this is the guy."

"What are you babbling about?" The clown was irritated.

"We've got some guy driving a big truck. The phone was in the back randomly. The real guy probably just tossed it in there to throw us off his scent."

"You're a genius." Joker rolled his eyes. "Nevermind. I have a better way to resolve this. I'll call you back."

He clicked the phone shut and began typing on his controller.

"Boss, why don't we just forget about that guy?" Harley frowned. "We've got a whole city under our control. Surely there's more important-"

Joker interrupted, "Nah. I'm bored with Artie and this stupid town just burning and burning. This is going to be fun."

"What'd you type?" Harley asked, confused.

Joker showed her: SMART ASS WHO CALLED AND MOCKED ME: GO TO THE CORNER OF METCALFE AND SLATER IMMEDIATELY. WAIT THERE TO BE APPREHENDED BY CLOWN MEN.

"Do you think that will actually work?" She asked uncertainly.

He shrugged. "If it doesn't, I'll just type something else."

* * *

"So… we've basically got NOTHING." Grayson said unkindly. "Except MAYBE we can trust the SCARECROW to provide us with an antidote. What the hell, guys?"

"LOOK. We haven't slept in days! And we're overwhelmed." Barbara snarled.

"No excuses. Let's just solve this." Bruce snapped. "Now does anyone have any ideas?"

"Where's Robin?" Dick demanded.

"We lost him to the virus." There was regret in Bruce's voice.

"He's DEAD?" Grayson's face widened with horror.

"No, no. He's just not onside anymore." Barbara clarified quickly. "He's an enemy."

"Oh my GOD. What the hell? _'We lost him to the virus.' _What's wrong with you? JEEZ. You scared me." Grayson snapped, furious.

"Robin's objective is to infect us." Bruce spoke gravely.

"We have no idea where he is." Barbara added. "Probably hunting us."

"ACTUALLY…" A feminine voice surprised them. "Your little guy has been captured by the Coalition."

The three heroes turned to see Catwoman standing behind them confidently.

"Coalition?" Batman was dark. "Explain."

"The super villains have forged a mega alliance to attack Two Face and Scarecrow. It's no secret those two are very close to formulating a cure for the virus."

"So the other villains have Robin?" Batgirl frowned.

"Yes. As leverage. They're expecting you to interfere." Catwoman sighed.

Grayson sighed irritably, "Great. More complications."

"See why we're floundering?" Barbara hissed. "This is insane!"

* * *

Veronica watched the door nervously. Harvey had been gone a while now.

They'd closed the door again to avoid suspicion, but the door knob WAS missing…

"I hope he isn't dead." She spoke suddenly. "I… I don't want him to be dead."

"Friend of yours?" Jake asked.

"Not really. He doesn't seem to make friends. Umm… I just… I dunno."

Veronica started thinking about her family. About her parents. Where were they? Were they still alive? And then she remembered her ailing grandfather in the hospital. Or at least he'd been in the hospital when this nightmare began. She doubted he could still be alive now. What were the odds? It hurt her heart to think about it.

Kenny interrupted her thoughts. "It's been too long. It must have gone badly. He's probably dead."

"That or he took off. Saved himself alone." Jake frowned. "It would be too easy to just make a break for it. Maybe WE should do that. Do ya think?"

Veronica nervously replied, "Harvey wouldn't do that. He's… well… a cop."

"That means nothing in this town." Jake smiled sadly.

"No, he's a GOOD cop. One of the few. He… he saves people. Like Batman."

* * *

There was a very serious and melodramatic drum roll. A crowd had gathered solemnly.

The duchess walked slowly and regally down the aisle that had been made. The Riddler had designed her as a beautiful woman, rather than the ghastly creature from the original tale. Yet her evil was somehow made plain to all. She looked cold and untouchable. Deadly and venomous. And every now and then a malicious flash would cross her face.

She walked towards the executioner's block with great pomp. She did not appear frightened of death at all. It was almost as though she expected what was coming… as though she'd planned it…

The duchess turned to face the crowd.

"What? No priest?" She smiled maliciously.

All was silent.

"No last words?" She continued, smirking.

She was forced down onto her knees by the executioner.

Two playing cards raced over the hill…

The duchess' head was placed on the chopping block. She was not afraid.

The axe was raised. And then dropped-

"STOP! STOP IN THE NAME OF THE QUEEN!"

The axe froze just above the woman's soft neck.

She sat up and smiled wickedly. She rose to her feet and smiled at the crowd knowingly.

Another execution narrowly evaded.

* * *

Clock King followed his new allies into their little hideaway, twirling his cane confidently. The man had style.

And then he stopped in his tracks and was very, very amused.

"Nah, I fold." Baby Doll threw her cards down. "This is just brutal."

"I'm in." The Boy Wonder said casually, tossing some chips in.

He was playing through the bars. They'd moved the table to his cage. They'd also freed his hands. But there were guards everywhere.

"OK." Killer Moth didn't like this. "Tie him back up. I'm not getting in trouble."

"Oh, nonsense." Baby Doll muttered. "We've got ten guards right here. And he's just a little boy. Besides, he always loses."

"The child won't try anything. He knows I'll break his legs." Red Claw spoke indifferently, looking at her cards. She was one scary lady.

"Deal me in." Killer Croc pulled up a chair.

"You people!" Killer Moth was horrified.

"We're surrounded by idiots." Clayface told Clock King grimly.

Meanwhile, off the in corner, the Mad Hatter was watching with disapproval. He was working hard to come up with an antidote and they were being rowdy and useless. It bothered him.

He sighed deeply and looked up at the lights above him, thinking. Thinking.

He and Johnny Crane were almost like friends. He certainly liked Scarecrow better than any of these individuals. Hmm… Jonathan might have a cure already. Or he might be very close to finding one. Maybe he needed help.

Yes… maybe John needed help…

The Mad Hatter silently and inconspicuously started packing up all his work into his briefcase. And then when no one was looking, he scurried away into the night.

It was time to start looking out for himself.

* * *

Bullock crept towards the lab and saw Crane leaning over his work, very preoccupied.

Two Face was no where to be seen. Fortunately.

And then Harvey saw Rusty's dissected body on a nearby table and froze.

Shock, then horror, then RAGE.

He kicked the lab door open and punched Scarecrow in the face, sending him flying.

Crane hit the ground and Bullock kicked him in the face. He didn't have any finesse as a fighter. He didn't throw round house kicks or anything like Paige Monroe stylishly did… but his crude street fighting techniques did the trick nonetheless.

Bullock snatched Crane up roughly.

Crane unexpectedly sprayed him in the face with fear gas. "You've underestimated me!"

Harvey recoiled, coughing.

Scarecrow immediately grabbed a chair and went to strike him. There were no weapons around. A chair seemed best.

Harvey kicked the chair from his hands and came at him with the knife.

"Stop!" Crane freaked. "I'm working on the antidote. You want to live, don't you?"

"Damn straight." Harvey grabbed him roughly. He put the blade to Crane's throat. "Thanks for sharing that. Now I know you're leverage with Dent. Where is he?"

CRACK!

Bullock hit his knees. The knife hit the ground. Some blood also hit the ground.

A small sound escaped his throat… probably shock and pain…

And then he blacked out altogether.

"Same mistake twice, Harv. You _deserve_ to die, buddy. Wow." Two Face set down the telephone on the desk again.

"Thanks." Scarecrow said shakily. "He's scrappy as hell."

"I told you to stay alert!" Two Face snapped. "I figured he'd be slippery."

"Well… he's no good to us now. I can't test on him."

"Why not?" Two Face frowned.

"I had to dose him to defend myself. The effects should wear off in an hour or so, but the chemicals will remain in his blood a long time."

Two Face stood over Bullock and looked pensive. He pointed the gun at the unconscious detective's head…

_Dent straightened Bullock's brand new brown tie. _

"_Relax, bud. If you're at a loss, just glance at me. I can jump in. I've got your back." _

_Bullock smiled, ruffling his hair in a way that indicated how awkward he felt. He was dressed well in a brown suit… but he was totally out of his element. He was not exactly eloquent or diplomatic. _

"_Thanks." He managed, his smile was uncomfortable. _

"_We Harveys gotta stick together, right?" Dent winked confidently._

_And then the doors opened and they were on._

Two Face shook his head. Hmph. Bullock needed to die, but not this way. He couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger here and now like this. It just wasn't fitting!

He realized Crane was looking at him expectantly.

So he spoke nonchalantly, putting the gun away, "Nah. I don't wanna do Harvey like this."

Crane nodded, "And a member of the GCPD makes a fine hostage."

"Batman will be here soon." Dent agreed.

"If we're finished before he arrives, we're taking off, right?"

"Of course. But if we're not, we need to have this place cleaned up and looking on the level. He can't see anything sketchy. No bodies. No organs. No blood. I've got to clean all this crap up and fast."

"And then we've got some hostages just in case he's not cooperative."

"YA…" Two Face sounded uncertain. "But let's hope it doesn't come to that. I really don't think we can take the Bats. Not just the two of us like this."

Then he dragged Mason to the broken freezer. He really missed henchmen.

After a moment, he came back to drag Bullock away. He said to Crane, "Dosed him, eh? I don't envy this guy's dreams…"

Scarecrow shrugged indifferently. "Mild dose. Could be much worse."

* * *

Firefly landed on the side of a building and looked down at a shop. He started to prepare one of his fire bombs.

"FIREFLY!" Someone startled him. He almost dropped his bomb.

Looking down, Firefly saw Riddler, Penguin, Poison Ivy and Bane.

"Heya guys!" The silver suited fellow called down. "What's up?"

"Get down here. We need to talk." Penguin snapped rudely.

"Actually, you don't talk, ok?" Riddler told Penguin. "Let _us_ win friends and influence people."

Firefly heard this and laughed out loud. "Love you, Eddie!" he called down.

"O…K…" Riddler sighed. He hated having to go to Firefly, but there was little choice. The guy had really gone off the deep end lately. It was obnoxious.

"So… what's the dealio, people?" Firefly practically hung upside down.

"You've changed." Ivy sighed. "You used to be more… normal…"

"Ya, well… jail made me mad. That's why I escaped… Wanna party?"

"NO." She frowned.

"Why is no one cooperating?" Edward glared at her. "We're trying to make a friend here. Remember?"

Firefly sighed, "Ok, ok. What do you want from me? Just get to it. It's a burning day for me."

Awkward silence. This guy was creepy.

Bane sighed, "Garfield is your name, is it not?"

"Gar." He corrected, upside down. "Do I look like a lasagna eating orange tabby?

"OK, then, Gar…" Bane started calmly.

"I don't answer to that name anymore." Firefly interrupted indifferently.

"This is going to take all night." Penguin hissed quietly.

"We NEED him." Edward said dangerously. He spoke in a very low, quiet voice so that Firefly could not hear his words. "The city is burning because of HIM. Get it? See all those flames along the skyline? The city burning down? We need him onside."

"We need to rein him in." Bane agreed very quietly.

"THANK YOU." Edward sighed. "Someone is listening to me. Now let's play nice."

"Whisper, whisper, whisper." Firefly called down. "Way to make a guy feel excluded. I mean, it's not like you're talking about ME or anything. Saying things you don't want me to know and all that jazz. No way. I mean, we're all real, true friends here, after all."

Ivy smiled. "Sorry, Firefly. We want to recruit you and you're making it difficult."

"Recruit me? Don't talk like I'm for hire. Or like it's some privilege to be with you. Jeez."

"Recruit is not the word." Riddler cut in quickly. "We're all equals here. We're forging an alliance of villains to acquire the cure for this virus. We know Two Face has the antidote. And we have the Boy Wonder in our possession as leverage should Batman interfere."

"Oh ya! I just saw the Bats like fifteen minutes ago. The big one and the girl."

Ivy stifled a giggle. This guy was messed.

"We have the tiny bird." Edward explained in Firefly language.

"I saw the BIG bird too." Firefly remembered. "The one ya never see."

"What the HELL are you people on about?" Penguin lost it.

"Sorry. You've lost me." Riddler admitted to Firefly.

"You KNOW…" Firefly was impatient. "The big rogue bird. Their black bird."

"Can you just use his name, please?" Ivy tried to be patient.

"Oh, COME ON, people. The guy with the bad hair!" Firefly hissed.

"OH!" They all suddenly knew who he meant.

"Nightwing is in town." Penguin stated. "I see."

"Good to know." Ivy admitted.

"I dunno. I saw three bat things. And you've got the other one." Firefly sighed.

"OK, ok." Ivy was impatient. "Do you want to join us or not? We're gathering everyone we can to attack Two Face and Scarecrow to steal their antidote."

Firefly didn't answer. He just fooled around on the side of building nonchalantly.

Penguin's blood boiled. "Are you in or out?"

Riddler sighed. "Now, I love games, bud. But we just haven't the time right now."

Firefly looked down at them, frowning behind his mask. The truth was, he didn't have the virus. His skin was covered from head to toe in silver. He had no reason to get involved in this foolishness. He didn't need the antidote.

And yet… He liked playing with these guys… kinda. They were a lot of laughs at least. It was really easy to irritate them and get them angry. And they didn't care if he burned stuff probably along the way… Hmm…

"Can I burn stuff when I want?" He asked abruptly.

"Not anything we need or care about." Penguin hissed.

"Restrictions, restrictions." Firefly muttered.

Edward sighed. They really needed this guy onboard. He was destroying everything.

"You can destroy Two Face's hideout." He offered, smiling.

"I can destroy whatever I want." Firefly grumbled. "I don't need-"

"I'll pal around with you. We'll have lots of laughs." Eddie promised, smiling.

Firefly froze and looked down at Edward.

"SOLD to the man in the green bowler!" He cheerfully jumped down.

* * *

Suddenly, all the televisions in the store window beside the Bats and Catwoman turned from static to a black and white image…

Arthur Reeves was dressed and painted up like a MIME… he was doing the box…

"What the hell?" Grayson raised an eyebrow.

"JOKER." Batman scowled.

"I thought Clock King had this guy." Barbara was confused.

"Joker's been strangely absent during this whole thing." Catwoman admitted. "It has everyone baffled. No one has any idea where he is or what he's doing."

Batman suddenly remembered the white board in Riddler's underground hideout in the amusement park. The board had been dumbing down the plan for someone else.

"We need to trace that television signal." Batman told his partners.

"This crime _does_ fit the Joker's crave for chaos." Barbara admitted.

"And if he's behind this, he'd have holed himself up to avoid contamination. He's probably calling the shots from somewhere safe." Grayson added quickly.

"AND maybe Clock King has submitted to him the way Riddler, Gordon, Robin, Hatter, Thorton and so many others have submitted to the master of this virus." Batman continued.

"AND Riddler and Joker are known allies. They've worked together so many times in the past. Joker is always piggybacking off of Riddler's brains." Batgirl added, excited.

"That would explain the whiteboard that had all the instructions dumbed down." Batman concluded. "Riddler was explaining things to Joker."

"And then Joker double crossed him. Like he always does!" Barbara continued.

"And they probably double crossed the Mad Hatter at some point. Which is how they got the blueprints for Hatter's plan originally." Batman finished.

"Hold on, you guys are making a lot of assumptions." Catwoman frowned. "A LOT of assumptions! We don't have proof for any of that."

"Always go with your gut." Grayson shrugged. "Better than nothing."

Batman hopped into the Batmobile and began tracing the televisions signal.

"But…" Catwoman blinked.

"This is how we generally solve things." Barbara whispered. "It's ok."

* * *

Bullock STILL wasn't back yet. Veronica had pretty much given up. She felt awful. But she hadn't heard a gun shot or anything. So… well…

And then she noticed Paige's eyes were open. They were a very dark brown.

Paige, very feverish, was looking around in a dazed, weak confusion.

"Sweety…" Veronica quietly crawled over. She didn't have water or anything. She really wished she did. Paige looked so parched.

Paige continued to weakly look around.

"Where's the cop?" The girl asked, sounding weak and dazed.

* * *

Joker held up two options. "Alright, Artie. What will it be? Lobster costume or really dorky PJs?"

"And they're REALLY dorky." Harley smiled. "Can you see the print on these?"

"Some kid show." Joker looked really, really closely. "Feminine anyway."

Arthur looked at the two options. He really didn't want the lobster. So he figured he'd pick it and then the Joker would give him the PJs thinking it was cruel to do so.

"The lobster." He muttered.

"REALLY?" Harley made a face, one eye bigger than the other.

"He's doing that coz he thinks I'll give him the PJs. He thinks I'm stupid." Jack sighed. "Well, sorry Artie. You're getting the lobster."

"But what if he thought you'd think that?" Harley frowned. "And this is his way of really actually getting the lobster. Which he wants."

"OR maybe THAT'S just what he wants me to think… so I flip back to the PJs…" Joker was pensive. "Hmmm…"

"You can follow this logic chain back and forth forever and ever." Harley frowned.

"It doesn't matter." Joker shrugged. "He'll wear both eventually."

"Let's try both together! Lobster in PJs!" Harley grabbed the really huge and gawdy costume.

"Know any really lame songs that would be appropriate for him to sing?" Jack asked. "And turn that camera back on! I want the message: NEVER VOTE FOR REEVES on the bottom of the screen the whole time." And then he laughed.

* * *

Ally Knox and Summer Gleeson were hiding in the back of a wedding dress store. Since they had no vehicle to escape the city in, it was best to do what most people were doing and just lay low and try to ride the nightmare out.

Almost an hour had passed and they were beginning to relax in their hiding place. It was probably safe now. Summer started admiring the beautiful white dresses, touching the fabric.

"I always wanted the really big, full blown wedding." She smiled softly, lifting some frill. "How about you?"

Ally was looking out a window. "I'll settle for ANY wedding. As long as I'm in it. I don't have much luck with women." He answered more honestly than he meant to.

Summer smiled. "Which surprises me. There's nothing wrong with you."

"You don't know me THAT well." Ally smirked.

"Everyone has flaws." Gleeson shrugged, still examining dresses. "You're fine."

"Look, Gleeson, I'm sorry we didn't leave town sooner like you wanted. And I'm sorry I messed with the Joker. All of this is my fault. You were right about everything from the start. I totally screwed us over. We could be safe outside the city limits by now. I really, really messed up."

Summer turned in surprise, "That's right!" She realized. "And I'm not even angry."

Ally laughed awkwardly. "Ya. I'm kinda confused by that, actually."

Summer blinked. So was she. Why wasn't she furious with Knox? For some reason, it had never even occurred to her to be angry with him at any point. She'd been frightened and then relieved, but never once angry.

She caught sight of her reflection in a full length mirror on the store wall. She looked really, really disheveled. Her clothes were all ripped. Yikes.

"Oh my… I look like a car backed over me." She frowned. "And everyone hates my new hair."

Knox shrugged, "No worries. You look fine. And dye your hair whatever colour you like. You'd look good with any colour. Even alien slime green."

Summer smiled, "Alien slime green?"

"Ya, sure. You could pull anything off. Even nuclear waste orange. Or sludge gray."

She smirked, "Thanks. I'll keep that in mind."

Summer started looking through some random bridesmaid dresses on a rack…

"You should try on some of those." He said unexpectedly. "They'd look GREAT."

"Oh, ya, that's REALLY focusing on survival." She muttered. And then she smiled at him in an irresistible way. "Maybe just one or two…"

And then she realized she really liked Ally.

She never got mad at him. The guy was full of surprises too. Always making her smile and laugh with his goofiness… or impressing her somehow randomly. He was silly and friendly and upbeat. He was also creative and fun. His love of life was contagious.

Sure, sometimes he was too pushy and cheeky… And kind of a workaholic… But he was super slick at his job. Always on top of things. Quick thinking. Knew how things worked. Always had an idea or a comeback or somewhere to be, someone to talk to. And he was SO knowledgeable. He knew all sorts of things about any given subject.

She came out of the dressing room in a very flattering burgundy dress.

Knox was going to whistle, but didn't. Instead he said, "Very nice."

Summer smiled and then frowned. "Listen. Sorry to be such a spazz all night. I know I get anxious. Um, like insanely anxious… It's rather embarrassing, honestly. I pride myself on having my act together… but… I've got an anxiety disorder that sometimes gets the best of me." She looked down at her feet. Totally embarrassed.

Knox shrugged. "No worries. 70 percent of North Americans have anxiety problems."

Summer looked up again, smiling. She appreciated that. It had been the right thing to say.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it to anyone though. It's really embarrassing for me." She started fixing her blonde hair in the mirror. Making it look nice again.

"No problem." Knox watched her. She could see him in the mirror.

She really felt like they were on the same page. Not just the same page, but the same paragraph. Same sentence. Same freaking word. She realized that his relaxed, mellow attitude really quelled her anxiety. They jived well.

But then she caught a strange look on his face in the glass.

"What's wrong?" She whirled around. Something was wrong REALLY with him.

_Metcalfe and Slater._

Ally shook his head. "Nothing. Just a sore throat. I've got a cold coming on."

Summer looked horrified.

Ally shrugged. "I was gonna get this virus either way, peach. No worries."

Summer unexpectedly started crying.

Knox stood up, shocked. What the hell?

One minute she was anxious as hell… the next happy as hell… then CRYING… ?

"I just can't take this anymore. I really can't." She cried. "People are dying in the streets of this thing. And now you've got it."

"Relax, dewdrop. It's all good. No need to freak."

She sniffled, smiling. "You call me the silliest names." _Chickadee. Peach. Dewdrop._

"Hey, puts a smile on your face." He smiled at her.

And then he added, "You know what? Let's get out of here. The Joker's men are probably outta this area now. Let's go somewhere with food and drink and beds…"

"But where?" Summer wiped her eyes. "There's nowhere to go."

"My apartment is actually close by." He lied. "Just a few blocks."

"I thought you lived in the east end?" Summer was confused.

He smiled, "Nah. I live near Metcalfe and Slater. Come on. It's super close."

* * *

Bullock, unconscious, was dropped into the broken freezer again with the others.

He was left sitting up against the wall. He had a nasty head wound.

Veronica instantly lunged at him. "Oh, thank GOD!" She hugged him. "I thought you were DEAD."

But he was limp and lifeless. She grabbed his face, confused.

Then she realized he wasn't responsive. And that her hand had a lot of dark blood on it.

Veronica cried out in alarm and recoiled.

Paige was jarred awake by this. She looked over weakly. The cop looked BAD.

Veronica nervously leaned forward again and with her hand, gently removed his sweaty hair from his eyes. He was breathing. He was just unconscious. She looked at the back of his head. It looked terrible.

Gil Mason said gravely, "He shouldn't be sleeping with a head wound like that."

"How do you know that?" Kenny asked.

"Well…" Gil realized he didn't know. "I… I think I used to be smart and successful and know things in my first life."

"You're thinking of a _concussion_." Veronica said uneasily. What should she do?

Gil sighed, "Well, they obviously didn't use a black jack. Look at that blood."

"What a wound." Jake spoke with awe.

"He's got to be DYING…" Kenny said gravely. "Wow."

"What do I do?" Veronica was frightened. "Should I try to stop the bleeding?"

"The head bleeds a lot. And really quickly. Compared to other parts of the body, I mean. It's a really showy place to get a wound, I think." Gil frowned.

"Is that true?" Kenny frowned.

"I'm not sure." Gil was honest. "Maybe. We should wrap it with something…"

"What's happened to him?" Paige asked, very sickly. But she was ignored.

"This is terrible. It looks SO bad…" Veronica looked at the blood nervously. "And I… I said some hurtful things… I… I really didn't give him any credit…"

She looked to the others. They didn't say anything to comfort her. They just stared.

Veronica looked back at Harvey and touched his face. "Oh… JEEZ…"

Ronnie was getting more and more anxious. She felt his warm breath on her hand. She wasn't sure what she'd do if Harvey died. He'd been her ROCK since the start of this. And she really didn't want him to die. Especially in front of her like this…

"OH, JEEZ…" She continued to fret. Her stomach felt watery. This looked SO bad. She felt sick.

Veronica brushed his sweaty hair from his eyes again…

"Harvey?" She tried softly. But it was no use.

* * *

Riddler, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Bane and Firefly walked into their hideaway.

Only to see an enormous card game in progress. The Boy Wonder was playing.

Edward looked up to the Heavens for patience. And then cleared his throat.

"SO… is everybody ready to do this thing?" He asked, striving to sound pleasant.

* * *

"Got it. Provided it isn't another decoy or trap. Which it probably is." Batman sighed.

"Well…" Grayson frowned. "Should we go after Joker or the antidote?"

"We should probably split up and try for both." Batgirl suggested.

"I dunno..." Grayson shook his head. "Protecting the antidote should be the priority. We need everyone we can get to face that Coalition."

"Well…" Catwoman frowned. "Stopping the mind control process itself is also very important. The problem could be solved from either direction really."

"I disagree." Grayson shook his head. "I've seen people dying in the streets from this virus. We need to save their lives, THEN worry about stopping the mind control."

"ACTUALLY…" Catwoman sighed. "It will take forever to immunize everyone. To manufacture the cure and get it out there. Whereas going directly to Joker and ending his mind control will get immediate results."

"And Joker could set the whole city population upon us." Batman muttered. "As long as he's controlling the minds of the infected, he's our biggest threat."

"BOTH are important." Batgirl insisted. "We need to do both simultaneously."

"We need help." Catwoman frowned. "People who've contracted the virus aren't all mindless and bad. As long as the master isn't giving them a direct command, they can do as they please pretty much. But if they've been given a command they have to immediately follow it. And they don't even realize they're doing it generally."

"So… we could go to Commission Gordon…" Dick suggested.

"Been to Gordon. He's got orders." Batman interrupted. "The police force is totally out."

"We don't have time to rally allies." Batgirl hissed. "We have to act quickly."

"Acting rashly and losing is just plain stupid. Taking extra time is worth it if it ensures victory." Catwoman frowned.

"WELL?" Grayson turned to Batman. "What's it gonna be?"


	12. Hatter’s Power Play, Harvey’s Nightmares

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 12: Hatter's Power Play, Harvey's Nightmares and Batman Acts**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**

* * *

**

"So, is everybody ready to do this thing?" Edward asked with a false pleasantness.

"We're still waiting for Maxie Zeus." Red Claw answered with indifference. She didn't even look up from her playing cards.

Edward sighed irritably, "Well, can't you text him or something? Come on, people!"

"There – are – no – PHONES." Penguin reminded him again in great frustration.

"I thought you were a genius." Killer Croc muttered with a smirk.

Ed did NOT like that. "I've got a fever, OK? And I'm sick of trying to organize without communication!" He hissed. "It's like groping around trying to find each other in the DARK! We walked here on foot! I didn't sign on for this crap!"

"Prima donna." Scarface snorted quietly.

"You're not the only one sick around here. It's an epidemic!" Killer Moth snorted.

Edward, who really was still quite ill, looked as though he was going to lose his temper.

"Relax, Eddie. We'll manage." Ivy tried to sound soothing. She handed him a water bottle. "Stay hydrated. You need to drink lots of water."

Ed let out a loud sigh and turned to the group. And then he started firing off questions, "What are our numbers? Can we transport everyone? And if so, how? What vehicles have we got? And more importantly, do we even know where we're going?"

Penguin frowned, "Who put you in charge of this expedition?"

Ed smirked, "Expedition? Who are you? Jacques Cartier?"

No one laughed. Probably didn't get the reference.

Riddler sighed. "Let's just hope Maxie finds us! We've gotta get rolling here..."

"Vertigo is onboard as well. We can expect him shortly." Red Claw added. She still hadn't actually looked at anyone. She was very, very sure of herself.

"I thought that guy was dead." Ivy frowned. "I guess he's back."

"We ALWAYS come back. We're never really gone." Firefly piped up. And then he sang: "_Thought he was a goner, but the cat came back!"_

Everyone just ignored him. It's pretty bad when lunatics consider you a lunatic.

"It seems you've been busy, Claw." Bane frowned. "Recruiting all sorts of people we forgot existed."

"Ya, and you never mentioned any of this before." Killer Moth sounded uneasy.

"It's like you're playing your own game." Clayface agreed.

"No double cross is afoot." She spoke indifferently. "Infiltrating your group would an illogically roundabout approach, would it not? I wouldn't need to resort to such lengths. I don't need any of you. I have my own men and materials."

"Yes…" Penguin spoke with great distrust. "You do have your own people…"

Claw tossed her cards away, irritated. "YOU people approached ME."

"UM, ya…" Eddie frowned. "Which idiot approached her? She's with some deadly terrorist group! She has a million ulterior motives for becoming involved in retrieving the only antidote for a deadly mind control virus!"

"She's providing most of the vehicles." Poison Ivy admitted sheepishly. "No one else was really prepared for such a disaster."

Claw stood. "You insult me. If I really cared about this situation I wouldn't need to infiltrate your group. It would be faster and more effective to take care of matters myself. I'm here to network and strategize for later, greater events. While you squabble about the short game, I'm out to win the LONG game."

Firefly whistled. "I'd love to know what you're alluding to. Very ominous."

"Ok, let's all just calm down." Clock King stepped forward. "We have no more reason to suspect Claw than anyone else here. ANY of us could betray the cause at any moment. It seems silly to target her specifically."

"You're so eloquent." Firefly turned to Clock King. "Have we met before?"

"We haven't had the pleasure, actually." Clock King smiled graciously.

Edward suddenly looked miffed. Ivy noticed this and smiled.

Clayface stood, "Ok, ok. Meet and greet is over. Let's get to work."

"Yes, let us organize ourselves." Penguin spoke up. "Everyone to the whiteboard. Bring the maps!"

"No powerpoint. No internet." Killer Moth was muttering. "This is crazy."

"NO. It's old school. We've become too dependent on technology." Ivy hissed. "Get used to traditional villainy."

"These maps are terrible." Penguin was looking through papers. "I want MapQuest."

Ivy rolled her eyes. "Remember the old days?"

"YA. We failed all the time!" Edward was impatient. "I need internet."

"I love dry erase markers." Firefly was the first to the board. "Can I write?"

"Can you actually behave yourself and write what you should?" Penguin frowned.

"Probably not." Firefly started drawing pictures of stick people burning.

"Give me that." Penguin snatched the marker. "Sit down!"

As everyone took their seats, Eddie turned to Red Claw. "Forgive us our distrust, my dear. You're an intimidating lady."

"Relax. I'm not reneging on the weapons or vehicles. But I'll expect payment in kind someday." She spoke without feeling. As angry as she'd pretended to be, she wasn't going anywhere. Of course she had a plan of her own. And a damn good one.

"Nice tattoo." Firefly whispered to her unexpectedly. "You remind me of Dr. Claw. You know, from Inspector Gadget."

Edward told her tiredly, "Ignore much of what these people say. Most of them are mentally ill."

"BOW TO ME, mere mortals!" A voice boomed from behind. Maxie Zeus had arrived.

"Point in case..." Eddie closed his eyes and suddenly had a headache. _Here we go._

* * *

Ally and Summer were slowly making their way down the street. His leg still hurt from getting clipped by a passing truck, but he could walk without assistance now. He was just taking it slow.

Every now and then he'd take her hand to help her through some debris. And Summer was reluctant to let him go. She remembered how he'd held her hand at the theme park earlier that week, playing the role of the gentleman leading her about.

She was tempted to take his hand now, but she didn't. She just walked with him.

"If there's hydro, I'll make you a pot of chai tea." He assured her.

"That sounds lovely." She looked very tired. She could use a hot cup of tea.

"And I'm sure we can come up with something to eat." He added.

"And you need cold medicine." She said kindly.

He smiled at her and instantly her face felt warm.

She realized that she was quite happy. Despite all the horrors around them and all the stress, she was actually happy. Under normal circumstances, she'd probably be having a full blown panic attack. She'd be really frightened and stressed out and upset and… well… She just wasn't! She was cheerful and smiling.

She was looking forward to chilling with Ally. It seemed ludicrous under the circumstances, but it was true! Something about this silly guy made her happy.

And then they stopped walking. Unexpectedly.

"What it is?" Summer was concerned

"Oh nothing." Ally said cheerfully.

"Then…" She was confused. "Why…?"

And then she saw the clown men coming. Her heart seemed to stop.

"Hm, there they are." Ally said without much feeling.

Summer panicked and tried to run, but Knox had a tight grip on her.

"ALLY, WHY?" She screamed, absolutely horrified.

She felt her heart smash. She was floored. Totally crushed by such an unexpected betrayal. She just couldn't understand it!

As they were taken away, Knox suddenly looked confused. "You know something… I have no idea… I just knew I had to go to this intersection right away no matter what."

"But WHY?" Summer was crying now. "WHY?"

"Coz he was programmed to, lady." One of the clowns snorted unkindly.

"Programmed?" A tear rolled down Gleeson's cheek.

"Mind control." The clown pushed her into the car.

"SHUT UP, you moron. What did the boss say about saying too much?" Another clown scolded from the driver's seat. "That's how plans get wrecked."

Summer looked at Ally. He now looked just as frightened as she was. He was SCARED.

"I'm really, really sorry, Summer. I have no idea how this happened." He blurted out.

She stared at him. It was clear he was sincerely confused and frightened.

And he was just as doomed as she was by this turn of events.

Summer forgave him. The words wouldn't come out. But she forgave him.

She just couldn't harden her heart to this guy.

* * *

Harvey wasn't sure if he was dreaming or dying. It was impossible to tell. He was very aware of the head wound. And he felt like he was slipping away… It was like an out of body experience. He was half dreaming, half watching himself bleed on the floor…

This was probably dying.

But he wasn't frightened. He felt sleepy and lazy… like all the blood flowing slowly out of his head was taking his mental energy with it… He just wanted to lazily drift and not worry about anything anymore. It would be nice to just sleep and not worry.

There were all kinds of partial thoughts and experiences. Stuff you don't remember in your waking life. Just your dream mind firing off neurons or something, maybe. Who knows. It could have been his life flashing before his eyes. He had no idea.

But they started as pleasant experiences.

Loon calls on a lake in the very early morning… the sound and smell of the water…

Hot coffee and a hearty breakfast when you're so tired and hung over that you can feel your skull beneath the skin…

Warm, early childhood memories… generally in Italian… The good, nostalgic stuff… And powerful affectionate moments, like your mom nibbling your ear when you're three or four…

Fireworks. The really good shows with lots of variety in style and colour all going off at once. The spiraling ones… And those ones that shimmer and sparkle suddenly as they're finishing… And the ones that shoot all over the place like a living school of fish…

There were lots of little things like that… little memories… a rainbow here, a hummingbird there… just little, tiny things. Stuff that make an empty life not so empty.

And things grew less pleasant… sort of neutral to negative…

_- A younger patrolman Harvey with dark shades and gelled hair leaned into the driver's window: "Any particular reason you're driving like a bat outta hell?"_

_- Bullying his landlord… being a difficult tenant… "Don't crowd me, dork!"_

_- Montoya frowned: "Are you ok? You don't look good. I mean, you NEVER look good, but you look really, really bad today. Worse than usual." _

And gradually, the fear toxin made its presence felt more and more.

Getting shouted at in Italian is just as unpleasant as in English.

Ripping your pretty kid sister outta some prick's car in college and having her punch you in the face.

Having a prostitute come up to you and then change her mind about asking once she gets a better look at ya. Nice, real nice.

The times Jonesy's wife had slapped his mouth for being ridiculously crass.

Life has all sorts of unpleasant little moments. The kind you try to leave behind. And in a life where you're alone and nobody really likes you… well…

He wasn't exactly a NICE guy, after all. He tended to be a jerk, even sometimes a bully… So there were a lot of ugly moments better left behind… and yet here they were.

Little flashes of anger, hate, disapproval, disgust, loneliness, isolation… His life wasn't exactly awesome and it was awful to have it intensely concentrated into a little ball and thrown overwhelmingly at him.

The toxin didn't focus on anything positive about his life. For example, all the people he's managed to SAVE over the years. Instead, it focused on all the people he'd FAILED to save. All the people who he hadn't been able to help or rescue. The mistakes he'd made. The times he'd been too sloppy, too slow… maybe too stupid…

And the many times he'd almost been fired… been suspended… been taken off cases…

All the times he'd been suspected of corruption… the times he'd gotten in trouble…

All the women who'd recoiled in disgust… all the slaps… the harsh judgments…

His sister screaming at him with tears of rage, her big brown ringlets all over the place.

His dad unexpectedly dying of a heart attack in front of him as a kid.

He saw an ugly flash of Rusty all dissected on a table.

He saw girl after girl after girl lying dead in dumpsters or pools of dark blood…

He held a dead little girl in his arms, her parents sobbing uncontrollably…

And that toddler he'd rescued, only to learn the little guy was dying either way.

And then there was this baby, screeching an inhuman screech in his arms as it slowly and painfully DIED… It was almost unbearable.

There was just no escape from the horrible, painful ugliness.

* * *

"First things first…" Penguin spoke with great authority. "What has been determined about our enemy's location?"

Everyone was completely silent.

"You played cards instead." Penguin tried to keep his temper. "OK."

"Relax." Edward was nonchalant. "Hatter can always find Crane."

And they all looked around. And nobody saw Hatter. So they kept looking around.

"UM…" Edward looked at Ozzie helplessly. This was NOT good.

"WHERE is Hatter?" Penguin shouted. "He's absolutely CRUCIAL."

"He's absolutely GONE." Red Claw motioned to the desk. The papers, the lab equipment, etc, was all gone. The desk was bare.

"WHAT!" Ivy roared, standing so abruptly her chair fell.

"Why didn't someone notice this before?" Eddie tried not to freak out.

"Uh oh…" Killer Moth shrunk in his chair.

"Where the HELL is the Mad Hatter?" Penguin was furious.

"And did he leave of his own volition?" Clock King was as debonair as ever.

There was absolute silence.

"DUM – DUM – DUM…" Firefly couldn't resist.

* * *

The Mad Hatter looked up at some street signs. It had started to rain and he was cold and wet. He really wished the telephones were working. But he doubted the number he had for Crane still worked. The Scarecrow had been in isolation for months now. No one had heard anything from him and he didn't want to be found.

And yet Two Face had obviously found him somehow. With Clayface. What did that indicate? Surely something… But what?

He should have ASKED Clayface some questions about how they'd caught Jonathan. But it was too late for that now. He'd made his decision and slipped away rather suddenly.

There were three places Jervis needed to try right away. He really had to HURRY.

But he was on foot. This was going to take ages. And he had so many places to check.

And then he saw a car randomly in the middle of an intersection. The doors were wide open and the keys were still in the ignition. It was still RUNNING.

He hopped in and started driving. There wasn't much gas left. How long had it been idling in the middle of the street? Someone had abandoned it in great haste!

As he drove, he saw a media pass clipped to the visor. ALEXANDER KNOX.

"Ah." Jervis smiled absently. "Love your work."

* * *

An executioner had arrived to behead the Cheshire Cat. Naturally, the cat loved being difficult. Initially, he'd been disappearing and reappearing… Now only a head remained smiling at them all in a rascally way…

Quite the crowd had gathered and a frustrated debate had ensued between the king, the queen and the executioner.

The executioner insisted he could not behead a cat that had no body. It was just a floating head. He had no idea how to comply with his instructions, but could make no one understand this for the life of him!

The king would have none of it. His argument was that if there was a HEAD, the cat could be beheaded. He was dismissive of anything said to the contrary.

The queen's argument was simple. If someone didn't behead the cat soon and be done with it EVERYONE would be beheaded. End of story.

In the end, all they could do was wait for the duchess to arrive. It was her cat.

But this took some time and the cat gradually disappeared. And the players gradually drifted back to their games.

So, in the end, the rascal cat was forgotten. And so was the impending arrival of the duchess.

When she arrived no one took much notice and she just worked her way casually into the crowded playing field.

* * *

Jervis hit the brakes abruptly. "AH!"

A street lamp crashed down before the car. He'd just, just stopped in time. Wow.

Everything in the trunk had slammed forward. He'd heard a great kafuffle. And now he smelled gasoline…

Gasoline? He immediately popped the trunk and hopped out of the car. Sure enough, a red canister of gasoline had tipped over. Fortunately, little had spilled – it was just a very strong smell.

"How fortuitous!" He grabbed the canister. The fuel light had been on since he'd commandeered the vehicle. He was running on fumes.

Where was the funnel?

And then he heard a loud clacking sound behind him.

A shotgun was pointed at him.

"I'll be taking your car." Said an intimidating older man who looked like he'd just stepped out of the Wild West. He was dressed in a dark brown duster and matching cowboy hat. His hair was long and grey and he reminded Hatter of Clint Eastwood.

Hatter set down the gas can slowly and raised his hand. "Easy, friend."

"I recognize you from television." The intimidating man had an authentic cowboy accent too. "You're the Mad Hatter."

Jervis wasted no words. "I know of an antidote to this virus. You seem an able fellow. Let's team up and get it. I'm sure you're as keen on surviving this crisis as I am."

The cowboy did not lower his gun. His hard expression did not change.

Hatter tried again carefully: "The virus is lethal. And it is contracted through the skin. If you've touched anyone at all who is infected, you're also infected. Even if you display no symptoms at present."

The cowboy slowly lowered his gun. "My daughter's dying."

"Then let's save her." Hatter said instantly.

The cowboy hesitated and then extended a hand, "Name's Brown."

"Tetch." The Mad Hatter shook his hand. It only seemed natural. This was an old cowboy and they were exchanging a rare moment of trust.

They quickly found the funnel, put gas in the car, climbed in and started driving down the street.

Hatter frowned, "I've already tried the first place I suspected the antidote would be. I have two more guesses before I have to start getting creative."

"Explain."

"My friend is making an antidote, but with communication down I cannot figure out where he is. I have to just SEARCH for him, unfortunately."

They drove for some time without speaking.

Tetch finally said, "I'm sure it must be awkward for you. Driving with a criminal."

Brown tipped his hat indifferently, "I was doing twenty years in Stonegate 'til today."

Hatter remembered the shot gun pointed darkly and dangerously at him. RIGHT. But he knew better than to ask any questions.

Brown pushed his hat back with the blade of a knife. "You may have seen me in the news too, actually. The press was calling me Farmer Brown."

* * *

Harvey vaguely remembered being cracked on the back of the head.

Waking up, he realized he was in a funeral home. He looked around. The smallest room possible was prepared… and yet it was still empty… Nobody was there.

The coffin was closed. No pictures were around or any signs.

Absently, he rubbed the back of his head and sleepily realized he wasn't in pain. Hadn't his skull been cracked open or something? Why wasn't he in a hospital? Hadn't there been some kind of massive crisis going down? What…

And then, being the television and movie junkie he was, he saw the scene for what it was. Ya, he'd seen this sorta thing play out in tons of movies. It was really cliché.

Oh, come on. As if his family wouldn't come. This was a tad overkill. He had a sister, a niece, a nephew and cousins and crap. This was just silly.

And where were his coworkers? AS IF. Somebody was just trying to make a statement. A complete overstatement. He got the point. Oy.

The Commissioner would come. Montoya would come. His first and favourite partner, Jonesy, would come. Random work people would come. They generally did. Even if they didn't like you. They still came. He'd been to enough funerals for coworkers he didn't care about! What the hell?

And yet the place was totally silent and empty. There were no pictures on display. Which didn't surprise him. He seriously doubted there WERE any pictures of him in existence from the last ten or fifteen years.

Maybe things hadn't started yet.

Or maybe this was just a dream. He was unconscious with his skull cracked, right?

Or a Scrooge moment. Any minute he'd see little suffering little kids reaching out of the ribcage of some messed up ghost-monster. He'd spent enough Christmases alone in front of a television to recognize this little performance for what it was. He was supposed to be getting a message, right?

He waited. And the longer he waited, the more convinced he became this was real. This was lasting way too long. Nothing was happening. Maybe this WAS really what happened when you died. Maybe ghosts WERE real.

Where was his sister's family? He didn't see them. He was starting to feel uneasy.

And then Julie entered with some funeral staff. She was flustered, embarrassed. Making excuses. He knew the look on her face well.

She got closer and he heard her explaining how no one could afford to fly. And they hadn't moved the body coz his life had been here and she'd expected people to show up. A few coworkers, a few friends... And hopefully they'd come later maybe…?

NO ONE could afford to fly? She could afford to fly HER immediate family. He knew that for a fact. Her bull shit excuses stung.

She looked at the empty room. She was clearly uncomfortable and embarrassed. She turned to a young man on staff and said she was VERY glad there was no funeral. The turn out for the wake was a sign she'd made the right decision!

This was too surreal. He almost wanted to LAUGH.

It was obviously just to get the message across. Right? This was like a Scrooge thing, right? He was supposed to learn something.

This couldn't be his REAL wake. His coworkers would show. Yet something nagged at the back of his mind that it absolutely was. This could happen to him.

And then he got angry. NO WAY. Jonesy would come. Jonesy would have flown across the freaking world to be there. His first partner when he'd just been starting out. An older guy who'd been like his mentor in a way. Or at least NICE to him and supportive. Like a friend and a dad and crap. Jonesy had always been so very good to him… had a soft spot for him… In a way nobody else ever, ever did.

Jonesy had been old when Harv first joined the force, now he'd be really old… Where was he? He would absolutely be there. Screw this stupidity. The guy would be there.

And then Jones was there. As commanded. He stood before the casket seriously.

"Aw, kid." He said gravely. He shook his head. And then stood in silence.

Harvey was relieved to see him. That helped. SOMEONE cared, at least.

And then Jones looked angry and said with frustration, "You IDIOT. You had such potential. I really expected things from you. You moved up so fast at first and when I retired I thought you had the magic. I was actually proud… My boy made detective. But then you became a useless slob who could barely hold his position. A JOKE. I heard horrible stories from my old work buddies about your negligence, your sloppiness, your gluttony, your stupid comments that pissed everyone off… your downright unprofessional stupidity! You embarrassed me! I had to pretend I didn't know you. That you meant nothing to me. That I'd always known you'd turn out like this… And here you are… dead… No family. No friends. No wife. No kids. Just NOTHING! No one even cares you're gone. I'm embarrassed to be here. You're an embarrassment! You failed at life, you fat dumb ass."

Bullock stared at him in horror. What the HELL?

_Laugh. Just laugh. _He willed himself. He had to laugh it off. Screw this.

But he couldn't. He watched Jonesy turn and walk out. Wow.

He sat down in a chair and just stared at the floor. OUCH.

And then he heard voices at the door. He saw the Commissioner and Montoya.

They were talking with Jones. And Julie. AWKWARD.

"My wife was right." He heard Jonesy hiss as he left for good.

Montoya and Gordon walked slowly forward to pay their respects…

Gordon whispered, "Wow. It's painful to see such a poor turnout."

"At least Jones flew in. But he had nothing good to say." Montoya looked really sad. "How awful."

"Bruce Wayne apparently showed up, but when he saw no one around at all he assumed he had the wrong funeral home and left."

Montoya hung her head, "Oh, Harv… This is just brutal…"

Gordon sighed, "I can see why there's no funeral. I never really realized… I mean, I knew he was alone, but this… This hurts."

Harvey stared at them from his chair in utter mortification. Oh… my… God… How utterly, utterly embarrassing… He could not believe this was happening.

The two people he actually liked in his daily life were seeing this. OUCH.

He couldn't stay and watch. He stormed to the back of the room where Julie was.

Aside from the same colouring, his sister looked nothing like him. She was tiny and cute with big, defined ringlets and big hoop earrings. She wore platforms to add to her height and even for a funeral, she was dressed all stylish and sexy. The skirt and top were black, but the cut and fit were very, very trendy. As usual, she wore too much makeup and perfume. He'd always hassled her about it. It annoyed him.

He looked her right in her face to see if she could see him. She didn't seem to notice.

She was talking to the funeral director. She still had a very strong Italian American accent. More pronounced than even Harvey's was. And she used tons of body language. She was assertive and had a very strong presence.

"EH…" He started, trying to grab her arm, but his hand went right through her.

This shouldn't have surprised him, but it did. He didn't like it at all.

And then Julie was talking to Barbara Gordon.

Barbara was tearing up. "I hope he's wearing his hat…" She was saying so sadly. "He would have wanted to go with his hat."

Julie seemed totally indifferent. She'd probably throw the hat in the garbage. With the rest of his junk. Like she freaking cared.

God, Barbara was sad, whereas his sister looked like an ice bitch. She clearly didn't love him at all. Just as he'd always kinda uncomfortably figured. He'd always suspected she downright hated him. He'd been really terrible to her over the years. More than anyone else in life, she'd seen him at his very WORST.

Seeing her now, cold and emotionless, was like his fear confirmed. She'd known him the longest and probably the best of anyone… and this is how she felt. It didn't bode well for the rest of the people in his life. No wonder no one was here!

And then he watched his coworkers leave with Barbara. They were going to remove his body now. Take it somewhere to be cremated probably. He had no idea. He couldn't even remember if he'd told Julie his preferences. He never talked to her anymore.

He watched Julie leaving. She wasn't crying. The only real emotion he'd gotten from her this whole horrible time was embarrassment.

As she walked out, he realized he was not going to see her again. This was it.

He felt he should say something to her. Even if she couldn't hear it. Say something really meaningful that really needed to be said. Something profound. It was his last chance, after all. There was so many things he'd never said to her that he should have.

He'd treated her like CRAP, frankly… Something needed to be said now!

UMM… Um… well… He wasn't really capable of this kind of thing. Not even a simple 'Good Bye' or 'I Love You' would come out. So he said nothing at all. He just let it be.

He watched her walk out and then he hung his head, his hand in his messy hair.

* * *

The Gothamites continued to struggle through croquet. Well, everyone but Ally Knox, of course. He was amazing. And actually attracting attention for it. Apparently he was setting new records.

Edward leaned on his mallet, watching Knox play. "He's clueless. The idea is to fly under the radar. Don't play too well or too poorly. His showboating is going to land him on the executioner's block."

Ivy sighed indifferently, "Well, the queen won't like to be shown up."

Summer and Bullock were aiming for the same hoop. Harvey stepped on his little hedgehog to hold it in place.

Gleeson didn't like this at all. "You're hurting it!" She snapped.

"Do I look concerned?" Harvey prepared to take his shot.

"They aren't real." Tim reminded Summer.

Ivy ended up engaged in a conversation with some women of nobility about flowers and gardening. She was extremely knowledgeable, obviously, and before long had attracted a fair bit of attention.

The King and Queen soon came over and began to speak with her about the garden. They were quite taken with her. She was charming, pretty and knew her plants.

Ivy decided to make a play. Artfully, she blew some of her perfume into the king's face. It swirled and smelled lovely. It was meant to entrance him.

"That smells lovely, my dear." He smiled, but was not at all entranced.

"Roses!" The queen was thrilled. "Spray me as well."

Ivy obliged… but then turned to catch Edward's eye. Sure enough, Riddler was watching and he winked at her knowingly. She scowled. Of course he'd designed this thing to be immune to her chemicals.

Meanwhile, Reeves was losing his patience. Bullock was always pushing by him and roughing him up casually as they went along. It had been like that from the beginning between them. The detective was always irritated with him and he expressed it in this manner.

Reeves took every verbal shot he could to try to level the playing field. Which naturally only made things worse.

It had been an unhealthy dynamic from the beginning and it only continued to escalate.

It worsened as they went longer and longer without sleep. They'd been on their feet for the equivalent of a few days now! And they were constantly on the verge of death.

Arthur was just about ready to snap. He had been exhausted and stressed for too long.

Finally, as they competed at the same hole, Bullock went to take his shot. As he stepped forward, he nonchalantly flicked the spit covered toothpick he'd been chewing at Reeves, hitting the councilman right on the cheek. EWW.

It was just SO obnoxious.

Reeves froze and stared at him for a moment. He was too angry for words.

And then he just **_lost it_**. He charged at Harvey, who simply stuck his large palm out and held Reeves at bay. He wasn't even really trying.

This just made things a thousand times worse. Arthur stopped struggling and just stared at him for a moment.

And then unexpectedly grabbed an empty mallet cart and went right at Harvey with it.

Totally surprised, the detective barely had time to react. He didn't grab the cart as he should have. He barely had time to think and just managed to dodge out of harm's way.

"Dirty fighter, eh?" Harvey circled, hesitant to get struck.

This spectacle attracted instant attention. People gathered around for this.

Edward chuckled. "Oh-ho-ho. It's FINALLY on."

"It was only a matter of time before these idiots killed each other." Ivy agreed.

Summer was horrified. She tried to shout some sense into them, to intervene, but it was useless. And she didn't want to physically come between them. She knew she'd get hurt.

Tim debated breaking up the fight, but once again didn't want to attract attention to his abilities. He was Tim Drake right now, not Robin. So he just watched.

"My money's on the cop." Ivy watched Harvey dodge the cart.

"If he gets that cart away from you, Reeves, you're dead." Ed called pleasantly.

Ally approached, "Come on, Artie! You can beat him!"

Tim blinked, "Reeves is HORRIBLE to you."

"I know. But I always root for the underdog." Ally shrugged simply.

That cart was made of solid metal. It was going to really hurt if it connected. So Harvey wanted to make sure when he went for it, he actually got it. He might only get one chance. He wasn't sure if he should grab for it or kick it away.

Finally, he grabbed it and they both had a hold of it and struggled… And then Harvey pried it away and tossed it aside.

"I ought'a beat the crap outta you." He glared, all flushed and sweaty.

Arthur just stared at him. Once again, he'd been publicly bested by an idiot jerk who reminded him of Fred Flintstone. This guy was more like a cop from the show Reno 911 than anyone to be taken seriously in life. And everyone actually liked this jerk BETTER than him! Reeves was more unpopular than the unpopular, mocked, loser cop. ERRRRR!

It was just so very FRUSTRATING to be continually bested by this moron.

Harvey waited until he believed Reeves was done. Then he picked up his bird mallet, tapped it off his shoe – eyes still on Arthur in an angry way – and then resumed his shot.

And Arthur watched him, his frustration building more and more.

And then, angrier than ever, Reeves dove at Harvey and grabbed him around the neck from behind.

"You've GOT to be kidding me!" Edward laughed out loud.

Tim and Summer looked absolutely shocked.

Harvey was able to swing Reeves around easily. But Arthur was just SO enraged he wouldn't let go. He was biting, scratching, pulling hair – anything he had to do to hold on! Reeves was _finally_ having a long overdue mental break down!

They were whirling around like a Tasmanian devil!

Edward was laughing so hard he was practically crying. This was AMAZING.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" The queen roared unexpectedly.

Arthur and Harvey froze and looked at her. They were completely disheveled and half crazed. They'd been about to kill each other. Under different circumstances it would have painted an amusing picture.

No one had any answer for the queen. It was absolutely silent.

"WELL?" The queen demanded.

"They're fighting to the death." Edward answered cheerfully.

"Oh. Very well then. Carry on." The queen walked away.

Arthur slowly let go of Harvey's neck and lowered himself to the ground.

"Ya done now?" Harvey glared.

Arthur SHOULD have been mortified, absolutely humiliated. But his temporary loss of sanity had drained him of all energy. His ego had been smashed to pieces. He felt like he'd hit the end of road. He had nothing left.

So he let his head drop with a loud sigh. "Ya. I'm done."

Harvey went to take his shot and then touched his now bleeding ear. "JEEZ, buddy. Biting? What the HELL?"

Arthur sighed again and didn't say anything. He was so defeated he just didn't care anymore. He really had nothing left in him.

Players drifted back to their games again. Tim and Summer exchanged stunned expressions. Tim was somewhat amused, whereas Summer was somewhat horrified.

Harvey took his shot. Then Arthur took his shot lifelessly. Then Harvey took his… And they went back and forth for quite. Gradually Arthur shifted from lifeless defeat to quiet indifference, which was a step in the right direction.

They didn't have to stay in the same area. People were doing whatever the heck they wanted. There were no rules. But they stuck around each other and played silently. And when enough time passed, they started to say the odd little word here or there related to the game.

"How anticlimactic." Ivy watched them.

Edward snorted, "All that did was finally clear the air between them."

And he was right. The tension had been building and building until it boiled over. And now it was apparently out of their systems.

Meanwhile, Tim wandered around the field moving people's hedgehogs inconspicuously. It was fun to confuse these people.

Ally blinked, "Where's my hedgehog?"

Tim ignored that question for obvious reasons. "You know, it took Reeves **way** longer to snap and go ballistic than I expected. Overall, considering his personality type, he's held up rather well."

* * *

"This is the guy." A clown thug tossed Knox brutally on the floor.

"Oh YOU…" Joker recognized him. "Right. Bad tie. I remember."

Summer hit the concrete with a sharp, feminine cry of pain.

"And the newsgirl. My, you look terrible as a blonde." Joker motioned to Summer.

He turned to Harley. "It's just a REUNION of people we sent to the park, isn't it?"

Summer was too frightened to speak. She moved as close to Ally as she could.

"Look…" Knox started. "I was the one shooting my mouth off. Let this girl go. She hasn't done anything to you. This is my fault."

Joker yawned. "Finished?"

"She shouldn't die for my poor judgment. Please let her go." Ally tried again.

"AWWW…" Joker pinched his cheek. "Relax, buddy. Everyone has to die eventually. She's never gonna get out of this life alive. Let's just get it over with!"

And then he grabbed Summer by the hair painfully. "BESIDES, you're such a _cute _couple. You should go together."

"Please stop!" Ally sprang forward to protect Summer. He did it reflexively without thinking. He actually grabbed for Joker's wrists.

Joker smacked him back. "Don't get fresh with me, buddy! You're not my type."

"Simmer down, newsman. Guys get shot for less around here." Harley cocked her gun.

The clown snapped his fingers and Arthur Reeves was thrown to the ground too.

The clown smirked, "Together again. How nice. Now, I trust you all remember each other. So I'll just program you to _shoot_ each other."

Summer looked like she was going to faint. The whites of his eyes increased with intensity. Her pupils looked strange.

Knox touched her hand unexpectedly. "I am so sorry, Summer."

"Knox-ious…" Joker was impatient. "No apology will ever cut it. So cut the melodrama. This isn't Hollywood!"

"Listen…" Arthur tried. "You don't need to kill us. You really don't. We can cut a deal."

Joker laughed. "OH-ho-ho! Ever the dealmaker, Artie."

"Seriously, Jack. All three of us have pull in this town. Surely you can think of some use for us. We'll do anything. Let's just cut a deal."

"You give me WAY too much credit, bud." Jack smirked. "Do I look like I can be reasoned with? That I use serious strategy? Or that I'd actually honour any agreements? I mean, seriously."

"Besides…" Harley smiled. "He controls this town now. He doesn't need you. He can program whoever he likes to do whatever he likes. So there."

"So you ARE behind the virus?" Knox stalled.

"Of course I am." Joker smirked. "Who else would pull off such a masterful catastrophe?"

"Well, that's just the thing…" Knox frowned. "In all the confusion out there, nobody has any idea you're the mastermind. You're not getting any credit."

Joker was dismissive, "All in good time."

"Everyone thinks the Riddler is behind this. That he's the only one clever enough to pull something like this off." Ally proceeded carefully. "In fact, CNN is broadcasting this outbreak all over the world right now and Riddler is getting all the credit."

Jack froze and turned around darkly. "What?"

* * *

"Well, I guess we're turning around." Hatter sighed. The street they'd taken was no longer navigable due to debris. He did a quick three point turn and they went back the way they'd come.

"What happens if your friend isn't at this last place?" Brown asked darkly.

"Well…" Tetch frowned.

And then he hit the brakes. "OH… MY…" His eyes were really wide.

Brown snatched up his shot gun and looked out the window.

Tetch jumped out of the car and twirled in a little circle. And then he blew a kiss to the heavens. "Thank you to whichever beautiful angel up there has fallen in love with me! My luck is just outstanding tonight!"

And it really had been. Between finding the car, the car having extra gas, Brown becoming his ally and now THIS… it was just unbelievable…

Brown stepped out of the car and was extremely confused.

And then he saw Two Face's van. Half black and half white.

The truck was sort of parked in the vicinity of a bread factory. Hatter ran inside and then back out again, "There's nobody here."

"That's because he didn't PARK." Brown hoped out of the deserted truck. "He ran outta gas."

Jervis' face fell. _Oh._

"So… what would this guy do next?" The cowboy tipped his hat back, thinking to himself and looking around. And then he answered his own question – "Prolly look for another truck…"

"Right." Jervis smiled, pointing to an empty parking space. There was a long line of bread trucks. The space closest to Two Face's van was empty. "Is it fair to assume we're now looking for an out of place bread truck?"

"Well, it's quite an assumption." Brown frowned and he looked around the ally. "Look here. Someone pulled outta this parking space in a damn hurry." He motioned to how the truck in the next space had been struck by a vehicle that would have been pulling out of the space too quickly. And then he pointed to the dumpster behind them – it also had a large dent in it. From someone coming from the precise angle required to back out of the first collision.

Tetch gave a low whistle, acknowledging the significance of this clue. But then added logically, "That still doesn't mean-"

"I know. But it doesn't hurt to keep our eyes peeled for that bread truck as we search." Brown interrupted. "Now come on. My daughter's dying."

* * *

Bullock was still falling through bad memories. The dead girls he never thought about.

Some of them worked the clubs. They sometimes didn't realize he was a cop and tried to hustle him for drinks. Or dances. He tended to be cold, even unkind.

Whenever he kicked down a door or burst into a room and flashed the badge, knocking their boss to the floor… well… The ladies tended to cling to the walls, wide eyed and frightened. He could be an intimidating tough guy when he wanted to be.

He generally wasn't nice to these girls. He didn't know how to treat them, frankly.

And some of them were so full of BS he couldn't stand it. It pissed him off.

_Heya, tough guy… I've got a fetish for angry, disheveled guys in fedoras… Love your accent… _

There was one girl he'd found over the side of a bridge… down on a ledge…

She was shaking and crying. She was a wreck. Possibly cracked out on drugs. She wanted to jump and kill herself. Apparently her boss was forcing her to get a boob job or something. Either way, she owed A LOT of money she didn't have to some bad, bad people. Probably for drugs. He didn't know. He always unfairly assumed drugs with these girls.

He'd heard all this crap before. Pretty girl gets in over her head. Right. Common tale.

So he tried to be nice. But he didn't do nice. Which sucked, coz he was by himself.

He managed to talk her into coming back onto the bridge. Convinced her that it was going to get set right somehow. He'd help her. He promised. He wasn't exactly NICE and SWEET about it… but he convinced her to take his hand. He'd help her.

She took his hand. Her nails were long and painted. Her hair, her makeup and all the glamorous sparkles… the sexy outfit… she smelled intoxicating…

But those stupid shoes. The six inch heels. She was walking on a beam of metal.

She took his hand and started walking towards him, having calmed down now.

He realized a second too late what was happening. She took a misstep.

He grabbed her, but he hadn't gotten a proper hold. He couldn't hold her!

She was slipping! And they both felt it and there was this moment of absolute TERROR.

She was terrified. She was begging him. Begging! He tried to hold on and…

She fell. And died horribly. He watched her hit the concrete below with a sickening sound. Then there was a really scary, enormous pool of dark blood forming around her. Her eyes were still wide open.

And that feeling of guilt… that moment of terror they'd shared… the image of her dead body… It just kept playing over and over again. The fear toxin was merciless.

He hated those stupid, stupid impractical shoes. If he ever got a girl in his life someday, holy hell, he'd throw any stupid shoes like that off the balcony. HELL NO. No freaking way. He HATED them. He absolutely hated them with a fiery rage!

But the fear toxin exposed this as the defense mechanism it was. It was easier to blame the shoes. Much easier than realizing he'd been thoughtless. As usual.

Why hadn't he thought of it? Asked her to take the shoes off? Grabbed her more securely right away? Told her to sit tight and then called for assistance?

There were a trillion things he could have done. And all of them were the difference between life and death.

But he'd been grumpy and impatient and… well…

He kept seeing her lying there on the concrete below. And his anxiety rose steadily.

The wording of that report had gotten a little… creative…

He hated himself. The fear in her eyes was unforgettable. She'd been so young.

He'd been mean to her. And then he'd dropped her.

Why didn't he hold on? She wasn't even heavy! Why didn't he hold on?

* * *

The croquet tournament was taking far too long. Harvey was thirsty. He watched Arthur Reeves slowly and carefully take his next shot. Silence was making for an ok game between them. The detective had always figured croquet would be a lame ass game, but it wasn't THAT bad really. He was just hot and tired and thirsty… But at least Reeves had shut his trap…

Suddenly, a beautiful woman slipped her arm in his with great affection and pulled him away casually. "Darling, it's so lovely to see you again." She also spoke with great affection. She was smiling.

Harvey stared at her in shock. She seemed so sincere and charming.

But he knew better. He knew she wasn't. She was a viper ready to spring.

"You're thinking of something, dear, and it makes you forget to speak…" She smiled.

The duchess snuggled closer to him, tightening the link between their arms.

Harvey realized that the queen was standing right behind them. He couldn't risk making another scene. That last time had been a ridiculously close call.

He just stared at the duchess, realizing the witch had him trapped.

* * *

Joker had turned on CNN. He was watching silently, his expression dark and unreadable.

He finally clicked it off and turned to Harley Quinn, "They think this is an act of war. An international situation. And the panel of local experts thinks the RIDDLER is the only local criminal smart enough to make this happen. Can you believe the nerve?"

_Well, Riddler **did** make this happen..._ Knox thought to himself privately.

Harley wasn't sure what to say. She felt that it was GOOD the world suspected someone else. They could continue to exercise their control over the city without interference. Maybe they could even pretend the whole thing was OVER when it wasn't – have everyone act back to normal – and then continue to secretly call the shots forever after. That was probably a brilliant idea!

But she knew that was long-term thinking… and too structured with an agenda. It would never fly with Jack. It was amazing he'd stuck with this plan so long.

She decided to just sit silently. He was in a strange mood right now. Unpredictable and irritated. She didn't want to get smacked.

Joker rolled his chair over to Ally Knox and grabbed him by his curls, shouting unexpectedly, "I always get such crappy press!"

And then he pulled Knox's ear right to his face and screamed louder: "What kind of a world do we live in where a guy who twirls a riddle cane steals all my freaking press!"

Tossing Knox away, the clown spun in his chair slowly – too slowly – several times with an extremely pensive look on his face. He was in very deep thought.

Harley Quinn watched him uneasily.

Finally, Joker stopped spinning and said, "Get the camera ready. And bring Artie, just in case. This has gone on long enough. It's time I made my grand entrance."

* * *

The streetlights were all out again. The power kept going off and on.

"We're going to run out of gasoline again." Tetch motioned to the gauge.

Brown looked out the window, biting back his anger. He needed that antidote.

And then suddenly, the cowboy's eyes widened. He turned to the Hatter and said, "You're not going to believe this… but LOOK…"

Sure enough, there was one of those bread trucks parked in the ally up ahead.

"Considering that warehouse hasn't operated in decades, I really think this must be it." Hatter stopped the car. "Let's go."

"Now, you said these guys aren't going to automatically trust us. That we needed to be on our guard." Brown climbed out with his shot gun. "What's your plan?"

"UM…" Hatter stopped walking. "We'll have absolutely NO luck with Two Face whatsoever. I need to appeal to Jon. Play it really personal. It's our only shot."

Jervis started walking again and suddenly felt nervous. _Play is really personal._

* * *

Bullock was dreaming about that poor college girl who'd been abducted. In the end, using his own methods and going with his gut, he'd ended up randomly finding her on his own.

Terribly beaten, sexually assaulted and left to die at the bottom of well.

She'd been down there for days and when he pulled the lid off and let some light in, she looked up at him like something out of a horror movie.

Ugh. The old 'down the well' motif. The monster who did this had watched too much television. Later he'd thought of Lassie, The Little Hobo, The Simpsons, The Ring and all sorts of 'down the well' moments. Especially Count Mystery, that horse who'd communicated an eerie message telling people a boy was down a well… And then Harvey realized HE watched too much television. Lord!

Back in the moment – This girl looked like death itself.

There was blood coming down the sides of her mouth coz she'd been screaming and screaming for DAYS now. Her vocal cords were shot to hell. It was so gross.

He'd called the ambulance right away, of course. And then he'd waited. He couldn't get her outta there by himself. And he probably shouldn't try. She was in critical condition.

So he waited… and waited… getting more anxious all the time…

She kept trying to talk or something. But her voice was dead and all that came out of her throat was this disgusting raspy sound. He remembered exactly what it sounded like. A horribly, freaky raspy sound like in a scary movie. Like in a nightmare.

And now he was living it over and over again. He could see her looking up at him like death. And that noise over and over again. The rasp.

He hadn't known what to say to her. So he hadn't said much. He was no good at comforting dying people. He was no good at comforting anyone ever.

So, he'd paced anxiously… waiting for the ambulance…

But she died before the paramedics arrived.

He hated himself for not going with his gut right from the get-go. For not getting there faster. For just standing around and watching her die.

And then Bullock saw Misty. Or at least that was the name she'd first given him. She worked so many clubs under so many different names… He had no idea what her REAL name was. He'd never bothered to learn it. Anyway, she was a go go dancer.

He'd first known her back as a patrolman, dragging her ass to the drunk tank all the time. They'd been so young. She'd laughed, she'd cried – she'd appreciated him not trying to fondle her. It was a crooked town and the other cops generally did. So she didn't hassle him quite like she did the other guys. She liked him. In fact, when she ran into him during the day she lifted his dark shades to look him in the eyes and tease him.

One night, missing a shoe and confused all to hell, she'd fallen down some steps into his arms. And she'd finally been silent, looking him in the face very seriously for a moment.

The years rolled by and another night he came across her getting beat on. So he knocked the guy's lights out. And she'd been grateful. She always liked his tough, scrappy attitude.

After that she'd flirted with him like mad whenever they ran into each other when he was working Crack Town. She'd put on his fedora and tell him how sexy his accent was. Blah, blah, blah.

He was always cold, dismissive and sometimes downright unkind. He didn't buy it. He fought to keep his distance. He always pulled away.

He didn't trust beautiful girls who played men for a living. Beautiful girls who did drugs and got into trouble. Beautiful girls who weren't disgusted by him.

And then another night she'd unexpectedly chased after him down the street. She was crying, her makeup all smeared. She was in trouble. She apparently trusted him. She needed help.

She grabbed at his trench coat. He pulled away. She grabbed at his arm. He pulled away. He was – as usual – cold and dismissive. He didn't really buy it. Not really.

She kept begging to go home with him. She was scared. She was in trouble.

So he said he'd take her down to the station. But she didn't like that. She kept making it PERSONAL. She wasn't approaching him as a cop. She was approaching him as a guy she trusted. Someone who'd been decent to her. Someone who'd helped her before. She kept asking to go home with him. She needed to HIDE. She needed to lay low a while.

For once, even though he didn't have to, he played it by the book. He refused to take her home no matter what she said. Instead, he tried to get her to go downtown with him.

He was uncomfortable. He didn't trust her at all. She couldn't possibly mean what she was saying. She was an actress by trade. And way too pretty for him. He couldn't let her get too close. She had to stop touching him, damn it!

She ended up taking off. He drove away totally confused and uncertain. And wondering what would have happened if he'd actually taken her home with him. There were a thousand ways it could have played out. And some of them weren't so bad.

He could suddenly see himself handing her a coffee. She looked over the steaming mug with tired appreciation. She'd calmed down. Her face was still wet and red, but she was calm and she felt safe.

And she was actually a person.

Suddenly the discomfort started to fade.

And then he realized he wanted to see her again. He wanted to look for her.

But, of course, as we already suspect, it wasn't to be.

Her body turned up in a dumpster the next day.

And he pretended he had no idea who she was. He had to. He'd messed up. He shouldn't have let her run off. He should have helped her. And he shouldn't have gotten so caught up in the PERSONAL, thinking about the wrong kinda things…

He should have taken her more seriously. He should been softer, nicer.

The cameras were flashing and the flies were buzzing.

He looked at her, his expression totally unreadable. She'd had pale grey eyes that contrasted strikingly with her wild black hair. He didn't even know her real name.

His heart sank with guilt… and then regrets. And he drank himself into such a state that he couldn't see a damn thing. He was trying to forget all the times he'd pulled away.

Everywhere he looked he saw blood. Whether it was a little boy in his arms. Or a girl on the concrete. Or a girl in a dumpster.

He just couldn't save ANYBODY.

And then he heard that horrible, inhuman crying and screeching. Little baby hands were pawing at his face, slowly transforming into hard hooves. The baby desperately needed help. It was obviously dying. He could feel its spine changing in his arms.

And he couldn't take anymore. So he let go. He dropped the baby. He let it fall. Like the girl on the bridge. And there was an explosion of blood all over the ground. And he couldn't see anything but red.

Painful images and feelings… It was overwhelming…

He tried to cover his ears and close his eyes. But opened or closed, covered or not, the images and sounds just kept bombarding him constantly. He could not escape them.

* * *

Robin listened intently as the Coalition tried to organize itself. Penguin had clearly taken the reins as leader, but Riddler proceeded to undercut him at every possible opportunity. It was a VERY unproductive dynamic. Frankly, the entire group was very dysfunctional and as a result it was totally inefficient…

It took forever for them to come and grab him. It was time to leave.

He was excited at the prospect of them loading him into a vehicle. He might be able to escape. He was a brilliant escape artist, frankly.

Clock King approached the bars.

"Let me guess…" Tim smirked. "It's TIME to leave."

Fugate shrugged nonchalantly. "Something like that."

And then Tim was dealt an ugly blow to the head from behind.

He fell down unconscious. Fugate looked sad. Hitting kids sucked.

Clock King's men lifted little Robin up and took him out to the cars.

"Sorry, lad, but we can't have you escaping." Fugate sighed.

Firefly's voice could suddenly be heard in the background, "So how do we decide who rides with who? I have preferences! For example, not King Tut. No offence, buddy."

Fugate sighed inwardly and then forced a smile back on his face, whirling around.

* * *

The duchess was being incredibly pleasant. She and the detective were walking leisurely around the outskirts of the croquet game.

She kept making agreeable little comments about the weather or the game.

But Harvey knew she was as venomous and malevolent underneath as ever.

She kept clutching him tighter and tighter, snuggling in deeper. She practically had her head on his shoulder now. He felt very, very trapped.

He wasn't listening to her words, so when she laughed, he was surprised.

She'd laughed a very pretty, musical laugh suddenly. "Coz you know what they say, love makes the world go round."

"That's funny, I thought you said it's done by everyone minding their own business."

_He'd been demanding answers about her crying, battered little boy. And she'd spoken so darkly and dangerously: "The world would go around a great deal faster if everyone minded their own business." Like deadly ice. _

She laughed that pretty, musical laugh again. "It's all the same." She was pleasantly dismissive. "There's a moral in everything if you simply look."

And then she leaned in very close, putting her chin on his shoulder. "I'd slip my arm around your waist, my love, but I think your flamingo will bite me."

"Oh, he'll bite alright." Harvey said in a dark, threatening manner.

"Shall we experiment?" She said flirtatiously, digging her chin into his shoulder.

"You keep touching me and-" He sounded deadly.

The duchess' eyes drifted over to the queen who was aiming her mallet right beside them. She was daring him, just _daring_ him, to make a scene.

And ever so slowly, she slipped her arm around his waist. She smirked wickedly, digging her chin deeper and deeper into his shoulder in a painful way.

He literally clamped his teeth down on his tongue to silence his rage. He tasted blood.

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He closed his eyes and swallowed his fury.

Trapped and enraged, the detective looked around for any excuse to get away from her.

"Actually…" He tried to sound civil. "I should finish my game. My-"

"Nonsense." She tightened her hold around his waist. She wasn't going to let go.

He looked around the field. Where were the others? Intervention was needed.

Across the field, Arthur looked confused, "Who's that woman with Bullock?"

"Should we save him?" Tim scratched his head. "She's taking him off."

"She's beautiful." Summer noticed the pair walking along affectionately. The woman suddenly kissed him on the cheek. "Oh wow."

"Nevermind." Tim said seriously. "Let's let him enjoy this for now. He never gets these kinda moments in real life."

Summer suddenly looked sympathetic, "Ya, his life's pretty crappy."

Bullock looked helplessly at Tim, Arthur and Summer. Couldn't they read his eyes? He was absolutely horrified here. He needed help. What the hell?

Tim winked. Summer waved cheerfully. Arthur looked away indifferently.

Reeves took his shot, muttering irritably, "I'm against fraternizing with the mind erasing fantasy characters, but nobody listens to _me.._."

Harvey realized they weren't going to help him. His stomach sank as he walked further and further away…

* * *

Two Face and Brown had guns pointed at one another threateningly.

"We're here to warn you, Dent…" Tetch spoke very carefully. "Everyone KNOWS about the cure you're working on. The Penguin is organizing all the major players in this city against you as we speak. They are going to come for the antidote and you won't be able to stop them."

Brown was aiming down the barrel of his shot gun warningly.

Dent glared, "And you're not amongst them because…?"

"Because we actually want to live. Preventing the disruption of your work and joining you seems the only way. There won't be enough antidote to go around!"

Two Face raised an eyebrow. "I have no way of verifying anything you're saying. And you're probably infected with the virus."

"I invented this virus, Dent. Jon and I are allies. Let me work with him. We need to finish this quickly right now. Your skin is covered, what have you to fear?"

Two Face just stared at him darkly, trying to read him. And then he said, "If this is your virus and you're the expert, why don't you just make your OWN antidote?"

"I haven't the proper equipment. And Jon has a day's jump on me." Hatter insisted.

Two Face was still glaring at him.

"Just let me talk to Jonathan, please." Hatter pleaded. "Time is running out!"

* * *

Nightwing, Batgirl and Catwoman looked to Batman for a final decision.

Batman frowned, "Taking on two dozen super villains for an antidote we can't actually TRUST either way seems ludicrous when there's another option."

"So we're going after Joker?" Grayson disapproved. "But-"

And then the television crackled to life again and they all turned.

"ATTENTION, world… Are you getting this CNN? BBC? CBC? All the other letters?" Joker stood before the camera. "Ok… I think we're good…"

And then he posed pleasantly, "JOKER here. Clown Prince of Crime. Taking credit for MY virus finally. Who else would be so outrageously clever? So very cunning and capable?"

The Bats glared at the television.

Catwoman slowly, inconspicuously removed her glove and wiggled her bare fingers.

"Anyway, this whole thing has gone in a direction I don't like. So it's time to get back to basics, hm?"

And then he said: "BATMAN. You have one hour to find me or everyone in the city commits suicide."

Batman frowned angrily.

"He's probably wearing that frown of his right now." Joker chuckled. "I love it!"

And then he added, "OH, and by the way, Batsy… Has Kitty found you yet? I know she'd just LOVE to kiss your skin!"

And with that he pressed a button on his remote.

"See you in one hour!" The television went blank again.

Catwoman sprang at Nightwing's exposed face, hissing like an animal. She clawed him with her bare fingers, until Batman kicked her away with great force. She struck the wall hard and fell unconscious.

Barbara knelt down beside Grayson, "You're infected now!" She could not conceal her panic. "And we've only got an hour!"

"Then let's stop wasting time." Batman snarled, prepared to follow the television signal.


	13. The Art of Dooming Girls

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 13: The Art of Dooming Girls **

* * *

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own anything from Batman or the Alice books. **

Notes:

**ACK! I reread the early chapters I wrote in 2002 and **_**cringed.**_** I hadn't seen a fraction of the episodes I've seen now. Please forgive.**

**Also, I forgot to mention that I got Jonesy from **_**Mask of the Phantasm**_**. He was with Bullock in a flashback. (A lot of these random little characters and references are actually from BTAS…) **

**Thank you for reviews! They motivate me to finish this huge work… **

* * *

Clock King had managed to slip away from the group for a brief moment as they mobilized to head out. He cautiously dialed his working cell phone, making sure no one saw him doing so. It would throw up red flags like nothing else.

**

* * *

**

CLOCK KING.

The Joker read the words on his screen and turned to Harley Quinn. "He calls in exact intervals. He is SUCH a freak."

He answered impatiently, "Yes?"

And then there was some mumbling as Temple Fugate spoke stiffly on the other end.

"Right. That Coalition thing. Whatever. Keep on doing whatever you're doing. I've got a bat to prepare for." And with that, the clown dismissively hung up.

Harley frowned. "Didn't you have instructions for him? He's going to need time to pick up-"

"Yes, yes, yes." Joker said dismissively. "I'll give him time enough. He's an efficiency expert obsessed with time. I think he'll manage. We've got work to do!"

* * *

Temple Fugate looked at his cell phone screen. He'd been hung up on again.

He was getting very tired of this. He was programmed to obey the Joker and this perpetual lack of solid instructions was making things stressful. He hated wasting time and operating in an inefficient fashion. Right now his slave driver was leaving him to flounder.

Fugate tucked the phone away and returned to the group inconspicuously. Considering he'd brought his own hired thugs, he'd been trying to arrange a car for himself. But his thugs had vanished and supposedly he was riding with Scarface, the Ventriloquist and Rhino. And then he was being told to hop in with the Sewer King, Baby Doll and King Tut. SIGH.

Things were very disorganized and delayed. He hated that.

Most of these individuals had never met before. Sure, they'd all heard of each other, but they didn't understand how they related to each other. What the hierarchy was. Fugate wasn't really sure where he fit into the pecking order around here… It was awkward. There were too many egos clashing about and too little productivity!

He felt like calling out precisely how much time they'd wasted bickering. Firefly in particular needed to be told off. That fellow was a waster if ever there was one!

Temple watched the "A Crowd" – that being Penguin, Riddler and Poison Ivy – climbing into a car together. Hey - with some of HIS goons! That was just so annoying. This was too much like school. Damn it.

And why was Riddler so unpleasant to him all the time? It was like they had some personal grievance he was totally unaware of. They were rather opposites, though. Edward was young, full of self love and he wasted an obscene amount of time with his counterproductive games. Always giving himself away after some elaborate construction of puzzles…

That had to be it. Young Edward couldn't understand his structured, orderly, practical ways.

Meanwhile, Edward was staring at Clock King peevishly through tinted windows. "Just look at him… The wannabe. He thinks he's just like me! Well, he's trying WAY too hard… Ugh, he's trying to be an older, dorkier ME with clock glasses!"

Penguin sighed loudly. "This was a terrible idea, Ivy. Organizing this Coalition."

"Yes, yes, it was." She agreed sadly. "But these numbers ensure victory. We just need to make sure WE keep control. That we end up with the antidote."

Penguin watched Firefly and Baby Doll arguing through the glass, their lips moving angrily. She'd had enough of his silly antics and was letting him have it! She used her real voice and her real intellect these days. And she could be one angry bitch when times called for it.

Finally, Firefly pulled out a blow torch and started chasing her around. It would only be a second before shots started to be fired.

Ozzie had a miserable headache. "This was a terrible, TERRIBLE idea…"

"Yes, I just want to thank you both for including me in this." Edward muttered sarcastically. "Heaven forbid you should go down in humiliating flames without me. It's not like I'm _deathly ill_ or anything…"

Penguin sighed again and pulled his hat down over his eyes.

* * *

Ally Knox and the Queen of Hearts were having a showdown to determine the winner of the croquet tournament. They were both at the final pole.

Everyone was gathered around, holding their breath.

Riddler was predicting Knox – win or lose – would get his stupid self executed.

Poison Ivy yawned, rather bored and indifferent at this point. This tournament had lasted ten times longer than it rightfully should have.

Tim was signaling Knox to deliberately lose. He was signaling like mad. Ally Knox misunderstood this as enthusiastic waves of encouragement and waved back. OY.

As Ally leaned in for his shot the suspense was great and Summer was alternating between covering her eyes and her mouth. She was just so freaked. It was comical.

Arthur Reeves was fighting the urge to curl up and fall asleep under a nice leafy tree. It had been DAYS since he'd slept. But he knew if he went to sleep he would never wake up.

Unfortunately, Bullock was being led out of the croquet grounds altogether. The duchess had a hold of him and he knew that now was an especially bad time to make a scene and interrupt the queen's big moment. He could see himself breaking her concentration at the crucial second when she was taking her final shot. GREAT. Just freaking beautiful.

And yet he had to get away!

"You know, darling, you really are no great conversationalist." The duchess sighed, her pleasantness fading more and more as they exited the grounds.

"You aren't worth my words, lady." He tried to pull away.

She tightened her supernatural, iron grip on him. "Now, now, my dear… Is that any way to talk? Especially since I've forgiven you for killing my little one." She added the last part with a very dark smirk… Her hands slipped under his trench coat.

He knew she was trying to provoke him, but he was angry by nature. So he took the bait and spat back, "He turned into a PIG, ok? NOT my fault!"

"I rather thought he would. I had hoped for bacon. Oh well." She said unkindly.

The detective stopped walking. The implication was clear. They'd have beaten him until it was time to eat him.

She chuckled unkindly, her hands travelling under his trench coat to make him uncomfortable… "Clearly you need a moment to process what I said. It seems you're as stupid as you are ugly…"

That was it. He grabbed her and snarled through his teeth, "Listen here, you psycho bitch. If you weren't a woman-"

And then her hands under his coat turned to claws with a loud CHING sound. They instantly dug deeply into his sides. Blood soaked through his trench coat.

"Don't f-ck with me." She said dangerously, digging in deeper and deeper.

And then with another CHING her soft fingers were on his sides again. She was affectionate and sweet again as though nothing had happened.

She kissed his cheek. And then she playfully pulled a bloody hand out from under his coat and tapped him affectionately on the nose.

* * *

"Please! Just let me speak to Jonathan." Jervis Tetch insisted.

Crane stepped outside as though on cue. He had overheard some of the conversation from inside and had realized his former ally was out there… desperate from the sounds of it… Hm…

"Master Tetch, whatever's the matter?" Scarecrow raised an eyebrow sardonically.

Hatter sighed tiredly, "Aside from someone stealing my virus, causing mass hysteria and framing me for it all when I'd just, JUST gotten a second chance at life… hm… not much. You?"

"Working on an antidote to your monster. It's proving quite challenging. I'm clearly out of my depth."

"Well, I've come to help." Jervis assured him. "But there isn't a moment to lose. Penguin is mobilizing men and munitions against you as we speak. He knows you're working on an antidote and he's coming to take it by force."

Crane rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't he wait til I've finished?" He asked irritably.

"The whole plan is ridiculously stupid." Jervis agreed. "Penguin let Poison Ivy and Riddler make too many decisions! The group has gotten too large and is disorganized and dysfunctional. Like a dragon with too many dangerous heads."

"Well, we'd best get to work." Crane motioned for Hatter and Brown to come inside.

"So we're just trusting these guys?" Two Face felt like he was losing control. Scarecrow had started out as his hostage and somehow this had morphed into someone else's plan.

"We haven't much choice." Crane told him. "I haven't cracked this virus on my own yet. And Jervis invented it. It only makes sense to work with him with what little time remains."

"We should be prepared to leave with our work in an instant." Tetch cautioned. "They could arrive at any time. Mind you, I don't know how they intend to find you. It wasn't easy."

"I'll prepare the Crane's bi-plane." Two Face muttered. "You keep guard, cow boy."

Brown tipped his hat in agreement as the other three rogues went inside.

* * *

The first thing Bullock did when he woke up was roll onto his side and throw up.

"Told you he'd puke." Gil Mason said knowledgeably. "Blows to the head are like that."

Unfortunately, the fear toxin was still in full swing. And so Harvey was still hallucinating. Shaking, he put his head in his arms and tried to drown out the horrible things he was hearing and seeing.

He couldn't tell if he was speaking aloud or not. Was sound leaving his mouth or was that just in his head? He sensed that other people were talking to him or touching him, but he didn't know if it was real. He was bombarded by so many things at once, he had no idea what was actually REAL anymore.

In reality, he was having a total meltdown. And Veronica was trying to talk to him, to touch him, to calm him down. He was shaking and sweating and having spasms… He kept flinching and crying out in alarm. He kept trying to shield his face and cover his ears.

He starting pulling his hair and scratching at his skin. Tears started to roll down his cheeks!

Veronica, terrified by this alarmingly uncharacteristic behavior, began to panic. She grabbed at him and begged to know what was happening, what was wrong…

"That freak drugged me!" Harvey exclaimed at one point.

At another point, he noticed the blood on his hands from his head wound and became alarmed. He realized he was bleeding and panicked. The second he realized he was wounded, he imagined a river of blood pouring out of him. Delusional, he thought he was bleeding to death.

And then he dreamed there was no air in the freezer. He was suffocating.

His saw his partner, Montoya, getting shockingly shot. She fell backwards into his arms, dying. She tried to say something to him, but she couldn't. It was horrible. And the moment replayed over and over again, torturing him. He couldn't make it stop.

"TOYA!" He panicked.

Veronica was crying now. She was trying to grab him, to force him to look at her and to listen to her. But he wouldn't. He kept thrashing about.

Finally, Ronnie forced his face to look at hers and their gazes locked for an instant. And for the first time she actually noticed his eye colour – a mix of gold and brown that was extremely striking when wet and frightened.

But seeing Veronica only caused Harvey to start seeing HER dead now instead.

He saw Ronnie sobbing hysterically as she bled to death. She was so scared.

And then he saw Paige Monroe drowning on the other side of a glass wall. Terrified, she was banging on the glass. Just slamming for all she was worth. As she screamed underwater he saw the air bubbles escaping her. She was DYING and he was just watching. He just watched helplessly. There was nothing he could do for her.

Flashes of Paige dead on his apartment floor and dead in his bathtub started coming at him intensely. Whether his eyes were opened or shut, he kept seeing her dead.

And then he saw her walking briskly down a city street, her back to him.

He recognized her shiny dark hair and was instantly relieved. He was thankful she was alive and well. So much so, that he sprang forward instinctively after her.

He whipped her around with a heartfelt smile on his face. He started to speak-

But she shot him in the chest! … And he remembered too late that she was Calendar Girl. The Paige he'd been so happy to see didn't actually exist.

He hit his knees, thunderstruck. Stunned and dying.

Paige walked slowly and sexily towards him, laughing cruelly. She was laughing at him.

And she grabbed the dying cop by his unruly hair and looked him in the face with a truly wicked smirk. He didn't realize it, but she was reminiscent of the Duchess right now. This was no coincidence.

She laughed cruelly and said, "How stupid are you? Saving my life?"

He couldn't speak. He was so stunned he just made little uttering sounds. Blood was spilling all over the sidewalk.

"You fat, stupid, ugly slob. I can't BELIEVE I touched you. I actually TOUCHED you. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, I guess…"

Meanwhile, in reality, Veronica was trying to get through to him. "Harvey! Harvey, PLEASE! You're scaring me! You're SCARING ME!"

"Don't touch me!" He smacked her away violently, not understanding anything. It was impossible to really see or hear anything definite. Or to know what was real anymore.

Ronnie was crying. "I don't like to see you like this! You're scaring me!"

He covered his head in his arms and muttered, "I need to sleep it off. I'm having a really bad drug trip and I need to sleep it off."

"I don't think he should sleep with that head wound." Gil Mason mumbled uneasily.

Harvey looked up at the others and saw them all STARING at him. Of course it was exaggerated in his fear crazed mind. Their eyes were huge and horrible.

"Don't look at me!" He snapped viciously. Everyone always _judged him_, damn it.

Gradually, wrapping his arms around his knees, he slowly rocked himself into a calmer silence. He was still trembling, though, and silent tears rolled down his cheeks.

But even in madness he never actually _sobbed_. He was no blubberer.

His voice sounding wet, he muttered, "She's dead. She's ALWAYS dead... GOD, I need to sleep this off..." "

He wasn't referring to any girl in particular. There were too many. And he was frightened there would be more. It bothered him more than the other horrors he'd experienced over the years… Nothing made him feel weaker and more useless than failing them… Except failing children, maybe…

Veronica assumed he meant Monroe. He'd been flipping out about her dying in his bathtub at one point earlier. Ronnie had no way of knowing it was a deeper, overarching concept.

So she tried to be comforting. "Shhh… You saved her. She's ok. Everyone's ok. You're just FINE. I promise."

After a pause she added, "Just please don't be like this. I can't bare it."

And then – as usual – she had to keep going. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you."

Harvey covered his eyes for a moment and let out a loud, shaky sigh. Like someone who was finishing a really hardcore cry.

He then looked at Veronica and said, "You're really not a bad gal, Ronnie. No worries."

Ronnie shifted uncomfortably. Seeing this guy all emotional was just too awful. Not because she cared about him, but because it made her feel extremely AWKWARD. It was so uncharacteristic and unnatural that she found it painful. So, in the end, Veronica was thinking about HERSELF when she comforted him!

Eventually the toxin started to wear off. It had been a mild does so it lasted less than an hour. Some people died of fright the experience were so long and/or intense. It could have been much, much worse.

Harvey lay quietly on the floor of the freezer and started to drift in and out of sleep.

And then he grumbled groggily, "I lost my hat. That freak probably has it."

Finally, he was completely back: "My head is KILLING me. How bad is it?"

Ronnie smiled. His voice sounded normal now. A little groggy, but normal. Thank God.

She came over and touched his head. The blood was drying and the bleeding had stopped. That was a really good thing. He wasn't going to bleed to death, at least.

He looked up at her, tired and drained. But normal. His eyes were hard and disgruntled. As they should be. She found it reassuring.

"Somebody's recovered from their little meltdown." Ronnie smirked.

"We are NEVER speaking of this again." He sat up slowly, sounding sore. "I have no idea what kind of crazy crap came outta my mouth and I don't wanna know. It doesn't leave this freaking freezer. I was drugged. I was not myself. End of story."

And then he clutched his aching head in his hand again, "Holy Dying Moses…"

Ronnie giggled. She couldn't help herself. He was always unintentionally amusing.

He leaned against the wall in agony and managed to look over at her. "I mean it, gossip girl. It doesn't leave this freezer. I didn't mean a thing I said. I was drugged outta my mind."

Ronnie teased, "But you said I was a nice girl."

"I said you weren't bad." Harvey corrected bluntly.

Her jaw dropped. "And I was worried sick about you!"

He smirked and ruffled her red hair. "Just joshing ya, doll face."

Veronica actually smiled at this. Through her messed up hair.

"Not gonna slap me?" He smirked. She'd slapped him the last time he called her 'doll face'…

"Nah." She smiled. "We're cool now."

They both sat against the wall in silence. Tired and thinking.

And then she squeezed his foot and said, "Glad you aren't dead."

"Me too, kid." He sighed tiredly. "Me too."

* * *

The duchess hummed pleasantly to herself as they walked.

The detective kept reminding himself he wasn't really losing all the blood he saw soaking up through the sides of his trench coat… But it looked pretty bad. If he thought about it too much he got light headed.

The duchess, unchallenged, was all lovey dovey again. Her hands were soft and her smile was warm and pretty. She had a musical laugh. Her diamond earrings sparkled.

Harvey realized he was staring at her blankly more and more all the time. He knew he was gradually becoming entranced. He would stare at the beautiful, bare curve of her neck. Or her diamond earrings dangling. Or the sheen of her dark hair, pulled up glamorously with a diamond tiara.

He would lose his memory if he kept walking with her. He would get sleepy and slip away…

And so, there was little choice. He had to make a scene. Sure, he was jumping from frying pan to fire, but hey – at least there was a _chance _something could happen to save him from the flames. There was time and maneuverability at least. As it stood now, he was a goner for sure. There was no choice but to resist.

He didn't hit women and he didn't want to start now. But he wasn't sure how he could get away from her without a physical confrontation. She'd restrain him. She'd attack. He just had to remind himself she wasn't REAL. She wasn't a real woman.

He felt her lips on his neck and she whispered in his ear, "You're thinking about something, love, and it makes you forget to talk…"

Admittedly, she was a scary bitch. His sides were still bleeding from her violence.

He felt her lips tickle his skin and he got angrier and angrier and-

"Knock it off." He tried to pull away sharply.

"You like it." She smiled cruelly. "No real woman will touch you."

With a loud snarl, he unexpectedly slapped her face away with great force. She flew back, crying out in pain and shock. Unfortunately, she recovered quickly and went absolutely _ballistic_. It was scary.

He kept trying to hold her off, but she was like a wild animal and she just kept coming. She managed to slash at the side of his neck and face. Blood was immediately visible.

She was trying to cover his mouth to silence their scuffle. They were attracting attention.

He managed to pull away enough to actually spit in her face insolently!

The queen, who had been trying to take her final shot, finally slammed down her mallet on the ground in frustration. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT RUCKUS?"

Everyone had their backs to her watching the fight… It was getting ugly…

Playing card guards ripped the two combatants apart.

They found the duchess a challenge to restrain. She was shrieking accusations at Harvey – who was angry and bloodied, but still and silent. Her clothes were torn and her hair was partially falling down. As her dress and her hair were somewhat slipping down, she had more sex appeal than ever.

She was thrown to the ground before the queen harshly.

"YOU." The queen recognized her instantly. The duchess had just escaped execution.

The duchess, on her hands in knees, looked up. She was a sweaty, disheveled mess. Her half fallen hair was in her dark eyes. She knew her number was up. But she wasn't going down alone.

"He killed my baby!" She accused desperately, pointing at Harvey. She was practically screaming. "He KILLED my baby!"

"Kill her." The queen motioned coldly.

The duchess sprang at the queen furiously only to be restrained at the final second. Face to face, the two women glared at each other darkly. And the queen said coldly, "Off with her head."

The duchess was ripped away forcefully, screaming and struggling.

With her dark hair and her shrieking, she reminded Harvey briefly of Calendar Girl unmasked. He'd seen the beautiful Paige Monroe go absolutely ballistic too.

As the duchess was dragged past Bullock she gave him the most dark and hateful glare of death. But he didn't care. He didn't feel guilty about dooming her. He was still angry. And he had no qualms about hacking the head off a deadly viper poised to strike. Screw her. It wasn't like she was REAL anyway.

On his knees, he watched his enemy being taken away. He expected a similar fate.

Sure enough, the queen turned to him, "And you…"

"I was apprehending a wanted criminal, your grace." He tried to speak politely. He was capable of it when it really, really counted. For example, to escape beheading.

The queen scrutinized him, clearly making up her mind. And then she raised an eyebrow in a way that frightened him. She was obviously skeptical and going to kill him.

"We're late, dear." The king was standing with the White Rabbit. "The trial is starting."

The queen, who hadn't had a chance to make up her mind, looked irritated. And then she sighed loudly and waved Bullock off, "Very well. You're dismissed."

And she turned and began to leave the croquet grounds. The crowd drifted with her, everyone going to the trial.

Bullock let out a very loud sigh of relief and wiped some sweat from his brow.

"Wow. That was insane!" Tim Drake ran up to the detective. "What were you thinking?"

"ME?" Bullock spat at him angrily. "Why the hell didn't you guys help me out? You're scared to death of getting brainwashed by a caterpillar or a stupid dodo bird, but you go and leave me off alone with that monster? What the HELL? Thanks for having my back!"

"Like you've ever been a team player!" Tim hissed and then realized he wasn't ROBIN. He was TIM. Oops. Robin had been speaking there.

"It's like I said from the beginning…" Arthur sighed. "Whoever designed this team, designed it to FAIL. We're the most dysfunctional-"

"What happened? Are you ok?" Summer ran up to Bullock, horrified. She touched his scratched neck and instantly had blood on her hand. His cheek was also scratched. She also touched this scratch with a look of great sympathy.

"That was that evil, child abusing witch I warned ya about!" Bullock pulled away from her touch crossly. He had a knack for pushing people away. He couldn't help it. He was angry and aloof and always had been.

"She looked like the girl I had a drink with before this whole thing started." Arthur admitted. "You know, when we first got off the bus."

"Should we go to this trial or what?" Ally asked them. "I kinda wanna go!"

"Isn't it like the last scene of the book?" Tim asked. "It's worth a shot."

"Maybe we can escape like Alice did." Summer tried to sound hopeful.

"Ya, coz that queen didn't already almost kill us all several times today." Arthur muttered bitterly. "But whatever. Let's just continue to play with the fantasy death traps. It's not like Bullock didn't almost bite it five seconds ago."

"What happened to Riddler and Poison Ivy?" Tim realized, frowning.

They all looked around and realized the villains had vanished.

Knox scratched his head, "This is the first chance they've gotten to take off, I guess. They were only with us because the queen came along and forced us into the tournament. In fact, they were rooting for us to get executed."

"Well, if we're going to the trial scene, we need to go now." Summer informed them.

And then they heard a familiar chuckle behind them. The little group turned and saw the Cheshire cat smiling at them menacingly.

"Great." Arthur massaged his temples. "Did I mention I absolutely LOVE this cat?" The tired sarcasm was unmistakable.

The cat laughed aloud and then said merrily, "My, my, detective. Aren't you the big, tough man? Beating on pansies and young women. Wow. Feel good about yourself?"

Arthur resented being called a pansy, but said nothing.

Harvey, still on his knees, looked deadly angry. Too angry to speak.

"My poor mistress. Doomed." The cat tried to look sorry, but still seemed to smile.

"He did us all a favour." Arthur snorted. "She was obviously very dangerous."

"Well, yes." The cat smiled. "But I do rather pity the girl portraying the character. Fat boy here has killed her. And beheading is such a grisly thing too…"

"Huh?" Harvey's expression changed entirely.

Arthur suddenly looked uncomfortable. "I told you she looked like the actress I met before this started. The staff girl playing the Duchess…"

The cat laughed merrily and rolled over in the air. "The detective here has mastered the art of dooming girls, didn't you know?"

And then he faded away.

* * *

Dick's voice was in their ears, "Remember that Christmas years ago? What if this is just a trap or a red herring. Following the signal didn't work-"

"Joker wants to be found." Batman interrupted. "One way or another, he's going to let us know where he is."

"I'm not looking forward to all the traps he'll have waiting." Barbara muttered. "He's got a whole city of drones at his disposal. He could come up with ANYTHING."

"Let's just concentrate on finding him." Dick was following on his motorcycle. "I really don't want to randomly kill myself just because time runs out."

Barbara thought of her father. And Tim. And Alfred. And all the other people she knew who were infected. Just about everyone had contracted the virus by now. They had 50 minutes to somehow stop the Joker before all those people were gone forever.

"The stakes are really high this time." Her voice broke and she shifted in her seat.

"When the pressure is on, it's more important than ever to stay focused and make things happen." Bruce spoke without feeling. "Failure is not an option."

Barbara wrapped herself up in her arms, feeling overwhelmed.

* * *

"The cat is probably just messing with us." Arthur hissed, sick of being pressured.

"Think, Reeves, THINK." Summer was insisting. "Was it the same girl or not?"

"I have no idea! I didn't get a good enough look at this other girl. She was going ballistic. I just dunno!" Arthur was frustrated.

"I wish Nygma was here to ask." Summer muttered unhappily. "Not that we could trust his answer…"

Tim was holding Bullock's hat and looking at the detective with sad uncertainty.

Harvey was on the ground, hanging his head with his hands clutching his hair. They couldn't see his face. No one was talking to him right now. They knew better.

"Well, all the flower girls in that magical garden were staff members." Knox reminded them. "And Jervis Tetch was playing the Mad Hatter. So it's totally possible."

"It doesn't matter either way." Arthur scowled. "We can't do anything for her now. We have no idea where they've taken her or how to get there… and even if we did get to her, we couldn't save her without dooming ourselves. It's just OVER, ok? What's done is done."

Summer sighed, "So… we're just going to leave her to her fate then?"

"It could be a Wonderland trap." Arthur insisted. "You just wanna walk off in the direction they took her and hope for the best?"

"How is that different from wandering in the opposite direction after the queen and hoping for the best?" Knox scratched his head. "EVERYTHING is a trap."

Arthur froze and looked at Knox. And then he said, "Are you back to normal or what? Coz you've been making sense lately."

Ally laughed, "You don't need an identity to use logic."

"Reeves is actually right." Summer sounded sad. "We can't rescue her without dying ourselves. And even if we do somehow miraculously save her, she's a huge danger to us. Just LOOK what's she's done to Bullock. We can't risk our lives to save someone who wants to destroy us. It's crazy."

"THANK YOU." Arthur unexpectedly blew her a kiss with two hands.

"SO…" Ally was excited. "Let's go to the trial!"

Tim shook his head, thinking about how Batman would totally risk his life to try to save the Duchess. These people just didn't get the hero concept.

Arthur sighed, "I don't want to do either. But the trial is the lesser of two evils. So I'm willing to go to the trial if it means not going after the Duchess."

"You can do as you please. Don't pretend to have sway over this group. We're going to the trial with or without you." Summer told him.

Reeves smirked, "And I was just starting to like you again."

Tim sadly offered Harvey his fedora. The detective looked at the boy for a moment, looking totally defeated… and then slowly took his hat back and stood up.

The little group started off after the queen and her entourage. Towards the trial.

Summer muttered, "It seems strange they'd have a trial. The queen just tends to execute people."

Harvey trailed behind. He walked slowly and sadly. Tim watched him uneasily.

And then – SMACK! The detective lashed out, punching a wooden arbor unexpectedly. The garden arch was pulverized and hit the ground in shambles.

"She was killing you. You didn't know." Tim said sadly, trying to be kind.

Bullock shoved past the kid unkindly. Without even looking at him.

Tim watched the detective storm away. The boy lowered his head sadly, looking at his feet.

He missed Alfred. Sure, he missed Bruce and Barbara and other people. But right now he really, really missed Alfred.

* * *

Killer Moth and several more nameless goons had somehow ended up in the flagship vehicle with Penguin, Riddler and Poison Ivy. It was extremely crowded. The fact that they were short on vehicles became clear as they tried to leave and everyone in each car had to get cozy to accommodate everyone.

"Hopefully Red Claw's intelligence is accurate." Edward sighed, leaning back.

"We can't trust her." Penguin muttered. "And how the heck did her organization figure out where Scarecrow's holed up? I'll never understand espionage."

Killer Moth reached slowly towards the overhead light, like a moth to a flame.

Poison Ivy smacked him. "Idiot." She muttered.

Killer Moth blinked. And then he said, "I don't trust Claw at all. Since she knows where we're going, she should be riding up here with you guys. Not taking up the rear with her own people in a private vehicle. Who KNOWS what she has in that car! But because she's provided everything for this excursion, she's unofficially calling the shots. Even though you guys pretend you are."

Penguin cleared his throat irritably, "This is a power meeting for power players only. The Big Leagues. If we want the opinion of amateurs, especially eccentric insect brained ones, we'll let you know."

Riddler frowned, "Tsk, tsk, Ozzie. Sure, his costume's God awful… but the guy's actually got a brain. Give him some credit. He knows the score."

Killer Moth turned to Riddler gratefully, but was silent.

"She's going to call some major favours later." Ivy frowned. "She expects serious reimbursement for this. And I suspect we'll be in no position to refuse whatever she requests…"

"We're definitely playing into her hands in some way." Edward agreed. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow… but she said point blank – she's out to win the long game."

"Well, we're all infected with a deadly virus." Penguin hissed. "And our options are few. If we see another sunrise, we'll worry about Red Claw then. Right now, we've got to get that antidote!"

The other two couldn't argue with this. The conversation died.

But Killer Moth couldn't resist, "Perhaps I missed something, but the Mad Hatter may have snuck off to warn Scarecrow. They may be expecting us and-"

"Way ahead of you." Penguin interrupted.

"Yep, you missed it." Ivy spoke with quick indifference.

Edward lay back as though trying to sleep, his hat over his eyes. "We're not going to take Scarecrow by surprise with this large fleet of cars either way. Claw has provided gas masks and all the necessary antitoxins, etc, to avoid falling prey to that weirdo's fear toxins."

"Oh." Killer Moth shrunk in his seat.

"But thanks for playing." Riddler peeked out from under his cap, smirking.

* * *

Ronnie had stopped praying for Batman to rescue them. Bullock had crossly pointed out that the odds of Batman showing up to this random warehouse when the entire city was in chaos, full of tens of thousands of people in worse predicaments, was ludicrous to even consider. If Batman was still alive, he had his hands full somewhere else. What was so special about them, after all?

So now, Gil and Ronnie were speaking together quietly. Smiling.

Gil was gently checking her foot, her ankle, her lower leg. Trying to determine the extent of her injury. She still couldn't really walk on it, after all.

"AH." Ronnie cringed in pain.

"There's definitely a brake." Gil frowned. "I just can't tell exactly where. I'm no expert."

She smiled at him. "AW, you're a sweety."

Gil's fingers gently glided over his skin flirtatiously.

Bullock rolled his eyes and looked away, leaning against the wall. These two made him wanna hurl. Just_ hurl._ How awkward.

He involuntarily replayed the powerfully sexy moment and was bitter. He could _never_ get away with touching a woman's leg like Mason was. He'd love to, but no chance.

How awkward and annoying. Even with his mind half wiped, Gil Mason was more likeable than Harvey was. Mason was good looking and charismatic. The stereotypical 'winner' in life… He'd been deputy commissioner at one point.

Harvey just needed to remind himself that the guy had been crooked, _dirty as hell_. But it didn't make him feel any better. He would NEVER be a deputy commissioner, whereas a criminal creep like Mason got the job quickly with no questions asked coz he was a freaking eloquent, charming, pretty boy. It sucked royally.

Why was he thinking about this right now? And why were those two flirting right now? Two Face was probably going to come in and kill them soon. And yet… he could hear Veronica giggling and Gil's warm voice was saying something…

A particularly sour look was frozen on Harvey's face. Veronica treated him entirely different from Gil. And Harvey had saved her life, whereas Gil was a criminal. BUT NO, Gil Mason got the giggles and the flirtation… Harvey Bullock got… well… a friendly foot squeeze? Not even HAND, we're talking FOOT… Oy.

And then he realized Paige was stirring. He glanced over at her cautiously.

Fortunately, he didn't really remember his nightmares about her.

She awoke and looked around in a disoriented fashion.

And then she spotted him and said, "Hey, you pulled through…" Her voice was weak, but she sounded pleasantly surprised.

"Been through worse." He played it tough, not looking at her. He refused to acknowledge what he'd just heard in her voice. She wasn't getting under his skin. Dying or not.

Ronnie and Gil were lost in their own little conversation. Ronnie's giggling was growing progressively louder. She was smiling like crazy now. Eventually she said: "You're just adorable!"

Bullock rolled his eyes and sighed so loudly his sweaty bangs blew upwards.

Paige made an amused little sound. As weak as she was, she'd found his reaction funny.

Harvey didn't look at her. His expression was hard. He was very aware that they hadn't had a lucid conversation since she'd tried to kill him. And through the night, with all the craziness of trying to keep her alive, he'd softened towards her. In a way that was foolish.

He was understandably uncomfortable. She was acting very differently now and he wasn't sure where things stood. Regardless, he didn't want to look at her or talk to her.

He could still hear Veronica and Gil talking. It was baffling that they could disassociate themselves from their situation so much. Then again, Gil was all brain damaged. He probably didn't appreciate what was actually happening. And Veronica was just… Veronica…

And then he remembered she wasn't actually dying like the rest of them. She was going to be ransomed off. That irked him suddenly. She could afford to relax and smile. Ronnie wasn't actually DYING…

Either way, he was very close to barking at them. They sucked.

In his irritation, he accidentally looked at Paige. And sure enough, she was looking at him. Their eyes connected and he very quickly looked away.

Right at Ronnie kissing Gil on the forehead! ACK!

"EESH!" Bullock looked away abruptly again. But there was no where to look.

Paige laughed at this obvious body language. He was so transparent.

"She's a piece of work, eh?" Paige smiled weakly. "The rest of us are about to die."

"If they start making out, I'm busting heads." Harvey agreed irritably.

Paige laughed weakly. And Harvey realized she was smiling at him beautifully. Even in sickness, she was _stunningly_ beautiful. He froze. Transfixed, he couldn't take his eyes off her. His face softened involuntarily.

And then he caught himself and slammed his angry, tough guy expression back on and looked away. He refused to humiliate himself.

Time seemed to pass so slowly. Harvey glanced at his watch and realized that five minutes felt like twenty or thirty minutes in this scenario. He'd kill for a cigar right now. Instead, he slipped a toothpick in the side of his mouth and just let it rest there. He tried to think. He really needed to come up with another plan. He didn't actually want to die this night. But what could he try now?

And then he realized Paige was trembling. She'd broken into a fresh, reddish sweat.

The toothpick fell and he sprang forward reflexively.

He put the back of his hand on her forehead, then her neck. She was really burning up. His hand lingered on the curve of her neck. And then he pulled away, trying to seem casual. Like it was when he touched Montoya or even Veronica. He tried to ignore the fact his heart beat had sped up.

"You're still burning up. How you feeling?" He sounded tough, casual.

"Really, really thirsty. Everything aches." She said weakly.

People with fevers needed tons and tons of water. She hadn't had any in a while now. Their water bottles had disappeared when they'd been captured by Two Face outside.

And then she unexpectedly asked, "Why have you done this?"

He knew precisely what she meant. But he said nothing.

She frowned weakly, "I was absolutely certain you were going to shoot me in the head as I lay there dazed on your floor…"

He hesitated before answering. Then he said, "I've seen enough dead girls."

"I assumed you were corrupt and hateful. I misunderstood you."

"Meh. Everybody does." He said dismissively.

He had all these extreme characteristics that didn't mesh well. It was complicated. And easily misread. And on the surface – very unappealing. He was an awkward, difficult train wreck.

Paige's trembling worsened. Well… if she died right now, at least she wouldn't be tortured by that freakish Scarecrow. She'd just drift away. But he didn't want her to have to die at all.

Her teeth were chattering. _Ok. Here we go._ Harvey took her hand like the times before.

He knew from experience that he sucked at comforting the dying, but he was going to try.

Paige continued to shiver, her teeth chattering noisily, as though she was freezing to death. When really she was burning to death.

"Do you really think I'm gorgeous?" She asked intensely.

"Sure. Drop dead gorgeous." He answered casually.

"No. Really." She said with a vulnerable look of pain. She was so intense.

He had to soften. He had to really try here. She was dying and this was of the utmost importance to her. He had to get this right.

Softening considerably, he said, "Paige, you're absolutely stunning."

His face felt burn, saying it that way, but she needed real heart right now.

Paige tried to smile, but she was shaking so badly now. Harvey braced himself.

And then the door slammed open and startled everyone. Veronica cried out loudly. Two Face had two guns and he pointed them all around at everyone… Crane had a gun in one hand and his fear toxin dispenser on his other wrist.

Bullock reflexively moved to protect Paige. It happened without thought.

"The girl." Crane motioned to Paige with his gun. Bullock's back stiffened at this.

"Carry her." Two Face told the detective. "Sorry, fella, but your number's finally up."

"We can't have a fisticuffs cop kicking around here when all hell breaks loose." Crane added.

Bullock slowly picked up Paige and held her close. He had very, very little time to think of something. Anything. The walk to the lab wasn't far at all. And once they reached the lab it was all over. Surgical tools and syringes would start coming out… He felt panicky…

But he kept his angry, tough expression on. He had seconds to do something. But what?

* * *

The fleet of cars had stopped, half of its cars jammed together in an intersection. Penguin was standing in the open door of his dark car, shouting at another car over the roof. A wrong turn had been taken and the leading cars had tried to turn around, only to cause a large kafuffle.

Clock King rolled down his window and called pleasantly, "I'd like to point out what a spectacle this little caravan of ours is. Let me know when Batman arrives."

"Oh shut up." Edward muttered to himself from inside his car, pulling his hat down over his eyes. _Let me know when Batman arrives._ GRRR.

As the cars all shouted instructions to each other and bickered and whatnot, things became more and more confused. And frustrating.

Finally, Penguin snapped loudly: "GOODNESS! We're not even ten minutes down the road and we're already coming apart at the seams. People, people!" He clapped his hands for attention. "Let's just get turned around, ok?"

"Poor planning." King Tut sighed, standing by his car. "Very poor planning."

Edward had finally had enough. He rolled down his window and snapped, "We've got the numbers, the skill and the equipment to pull this off. If everyone would just SHUT UP and let one person conduct traffic, we'd be back in business. OK?"

"Love you, Eddie!" Firefly called from a distant car. In the same obnoxious manner as always.

Edward scowled and rolled up his window.

Meanwhile, Clock King felt a vibration in his pocket and casually slipped out of his car and away from the bickering, distracted cars.

Pulling the phone from his pocket, it read: JOKER.

"Salutations." Temple answered politely.

"Ditch that situation. I need you here. Well, more precisely, I need you to bring some people here… I need some more cannon fodder to throw at Batman. And he'll get through you in seconds."

"In hand to hand combat against the Batman I have lasted an average of seven minutes and thirty-four seconds." Temple responded coldly, his expression revealing that he was darkly affronted. _Cannon fodder… He'll get through you in seconds… _GRRR!

"Well, if you're so concerned with TIME, you'll understand how pressing these instructions are. Batman will be arriving in the next ten minutes!"

"It could take that long to hijack transportation." Fugate was unimpressed. "Your expectations are totally unrealistic and I cannot be expected-"

"Get here in ten minutes!" Joker snapped, hanging up.

And Fugate felt the pull of the mind control and had no choice. He was going to throw himself in front of Batman to buy that stupid clown a few extra minutes. While he appreciated the value of minutes, this whole situation with Joker was getting to be… irritating…

The phone rang again. JOKER.

"Yes, master?" Fugate tried to keep the ice out of his voice.

"I forgot to tell you who you need to pick up. And where."

"Yes, frightfully inefficient. You've wasted 7 seconds of my mere 10 minutes-"

"Shut up and listen." Joker interrupted harshly.

* * *

The Wonderland crew inexplicably found themselves entering a court room. How had this happened? Well, it wasn't worth thinking about. Nothing made sense in this fantasy. Scenes just came and went and backgrounds shifted. Whatever.

The court was very, very full. Just _packed_ with all the creatures they'd seen or hadn't gotten around to seeing. At the front, the King of Hearts was acting as judge. His wife sat on his left hand side looking very pompous and regal with her eyes closed.

To the right, the jury box was full of little animals. Arthur recognized Little Bill immediately. The lizard who had brought the ladder past the White Rabbit's cottage. Bill and the other jurors had little chalk board slates to take notes on.

"Why are they writing already?" Tim asked unexpectedly. "The trial hasn't started."

"Don't ask me. I don't remember this scene." Arthur muttered. (He was a lawyer, yes, but he didn't understand this bizarre Wonderland trial.)

The Gothamites squeezed into a row on the left hand side of the room, squishing all sorts of random creatures to get some seating. There was all sorts of pushing, shouting and complaining as they made space for themselves. Behind them, Tweedledum and Tweedledee were now complaining loudly that they couldn't see anymore.

"OK, nobody fall asleep…" Arthur warned down the row. "Don't get entranced."

And then Summer spotted Riddler and Poison Ivy in nearby seats. She motioned to the others. "Look." She hissed. "They're here."

Edward noticed being noticed and turned to Ivy smugly, "Don't look now, but the circus is back in town."

And then he called back to them pleasantly, "Well, well, well… It seems they'll let just about ANYBODY in here."

They ignored Nygma, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a lame response.

More creatures were arriving and pushing into rows. Tim realized the Doormouse was suddenly squeezing in between them. And the caterpillar was amongst them. Things were getting really, really crowded. Their row was overflowing and it hurt.

Naturally, everyone blamed Bullock for squishing them. And he took offense noisily.

"ORDER!" The King slammed his mallet and looked around to see who was shouting above all the rest.

Things grew very quiet. Everyone realized they just had to suck it up and be crushed.

And then the Knave of Hearts – The Jack – was brought out in chains. And some delectable tarts were brought out on a platter and displayed at the front. They were either cherry or strawberry, either way, they were fittingly red.

The crime was presented in the form of the famous rhyme. And it became clear to the Gothamites that the question was: Did the Knave of Hearts steal the Queen's tarts?

The King called for the first witness. Who would it be?

* * *

Batman silently cut a circle of glass and allowed Batgirl and Nightwing to jump down from ceiling to floor first. They still had 40 minutes. The signal had led them to the city's art gallery. Hopefully this was not a red herring. There wasn't time for games. But they knew there would be games. There always, always were.

The Bats moved stealthy through the darkness, expecting a trap to spring.

Sure enough, the lights all turned on and the large monitor on the lobby wall before them suddenly had the Joker's smiling face on it.

He called out cheerfully: "Batman! And some college kids I don't care about. I'm glad you could make it!"

Batman scowled, but before he could speak, Joker cried out excitedly:

"I bet you forgot about THIS GUY!"

And then Mr. Freeze jumped down and started firing his freeze gun at them.

Bruce and Dick managed to dodge, but Barbara took a hit and was knocked to the ground. Ice starting crawling up her legs.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for reading! If you've stuck with this long, long monster of a story, please review and let me know. I need the motivation. We're coming to the conclusion soon! ^^_


	14. A Dissection, The Witch Boy & Witnesses

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 14: A Dissection, The Witch Boy and Witnesses**

* * *

**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me!**

**Note: Thank you SOOOOO much for the kind reviews and messages! I really, truly appreciate it. It is always nice to know people are reading! **

**(I'm glad I'm not the only Bullock fan out there. I really liked "On Leather Wings." The guy's life makes me CRINGE, though. "A Bullet for Bullock" was painful.)**

* * *

Jason Blood's study was silent and empty. He was in Central America.

On the table in the darkened room was a cloudy crystal ball…

Suddenly, the colours within the ball began to change. All on their own. The cloudiness began to move within the sphere in a foreboding manner. There was a pulse to it. Something was happening… or about to happen… And it was not good.

The study window quietly slid open and a cool breeze blew into the room. Pages of ancient spell books and manuscripts ruffled.

A shadow cast into the room.

"Show me the boy." A woman's voice spoke clearly.

Simultaneously, a bright light blasted throughout the room powerfully. And slowly, very slowly… a glass orb on a nearby top shelf began to glow. The orb – another crystal ball – levitated and gradually made its way down to the woman.

Its glow illuminated her face. Her eyes widened as she looked into the sphere of power.

Talia, daughter of Ra's Al Ghul, held up the powerful magical item she was using. She spoke in a very clear, confident voice: _"Imprisoned, child, no longer be."_

The crystal ball began to glow brighter than ever. It started to grow. And transform. Little by little, the form of a child appeared. A boy.

Talia held her breath and waited. She hoped she was not making a mistake.

Her father had absolutely refused to intervene in the Gotham crisis. He was adamant that the League of Shadows would play no part. In fact, he relished the idea of the city finally being destroyed. It was a rotten, diseased pit that had long needed to be eradicated.

But she still had feelings for Batman – who she knew to be Bruce Wayne – and her father's attitude about the situation enraged her. His disrespect for her was growing intolerable. She would prove to him once and for all she was just as capable as any son would have been!

When the light all subsided, the boy stood silently, staring at her darkly.

Talia, no stranger to the supernatural arts, had been aware of this child's captivity for some time now. He was known to possess powerful magic. With the ancient magical item she had stolen from her father, she was relatively sure she could harness his powers to her own advantage.

The boy had a soulless, frightening look to him. Very dark and cold. Totally unfeeling. And there was no mistaking him for a regular child! He was either possessed or… or… a demon or something… Something was very, very wrong with the boy.

"Klarion." She held up her magical item. "I have freed you and you are bound to me. You will obey my commands."

The boy's expression was totally unchanged. He didn't move. He didn't blink. He just stared at her as soullessly as ever.

"Klarion." She repeated, unnerved and trying not to show it. "You will obey my commands."

Slowly, an evil smirk crossed the boy's face…

He flicked his wrist lightly, speaking calmly, _"Prosterno." _His eyes were glowing red as he spoke.

Talia's magical item slammed against the wall and shattered dustily.

"Child's play." Klarion said coldly.

And then he flicked his wrist again: _"Sopor."_ Talia's body went totally limp and she collapsed to the floor in a deep sleep.

The boy stood over her, looking down at her with a dark indifference.

"Amateur." He said apathetically and moved away.

The boy twirled his hands casually around each other and an orange and black tabby appeared in his arms.

He walked over to the window silently and looked out at the chaos that was Gotham City. Everywhere buildings were demolished or on fire. Cars were totaled. Lamp posts and fire hydrants were destroyed. The electricity was out. Powerful streams of water were shooting up from the ground. There was screaming and there was violence and disease.

"How beautiful." He said quietly, stroking his cat.

* * *

Temple Fugate looked at his golden pocket watch and realized he had 5 minutes and 41 seconds left. _Uh huh._

"Not happening." He clicked his watch shut bluntly.

Being late was acceptable when the time allotted was inappropriate. The Joker's expectations were completely unreasonable. He would do the best he could, naturally, but he wasn't a magician.

* * *

The King of Hearts called his first witness. The back door of the court room slammed open melodramatically and a very pompous and stern looking mouse proceeded down the aisle. He had a hard, serious stare that conveyed an almost militant command…

He took the stand, but was not sworn in. Nor did any lawyer rise to question him. Instead, the Mouse just started speaking in a very proud and formal manner…

"My tale is very long…" He said haughtily. And on and on he went…

Tim Drake groaned loudly and slipped down in his seat as though he were melting away in agony. His hands stretched his face and he was clearly about to have a bad case of brain rot.

The mouse launched into a long, serious discussion of totally irrelevant nonsense. Treating it with the greatest severity, of course.

"What's _with_ this guy?" Bullock muttered, having never encountered the notorious mouse before.

"…Save me…" Tim managed weakly. He was pulling his eye sockets open in a disgusting, melting manner.

"This is all very interesting…" The King tried to hurry the mouse along. "But what does it have to do with the stolen tarts?"

"Ah yes, the tarts." The mouse spoke hard and formally. His stare never wavered. He wasn't looking at anyone or anything. "I remember it well. It was the summer of 1444…"

"Nobody fall asleep." Arthur warned seriously. The mouse entrancement was hardcore.

And then he noticed that Bullock was already lying back with his hat over his eyes.

"Smack him… Smack him…" Arthur whispered heatedly down the line.

Tim didn't move. He scarcely seemed alive. "…hate… this… mouse…" He managed.

Summer finally smacked Bullock across the back of the head. His hat fell off.

"What the hell?" Harvey snapped irritably.

The mouse's expression never wavered. He sounded like a nineteenth century British colonel recounting a military campaign. "…And I said to myself, 'Mouse, these people need a leader…'"

"I've heard this one before." Ally Knox scratched his head innocently.

"I've heard them ALL before." Tim groaned, sliding lower still in his seat.

As the mouse continued to ramble, more characters started popping up in their already outrageously crowded row. It was becoming downright unbearable they were so squished. And they became increasingly irritable with each other over what little space there was…

Only Knox refrained from getting snarky about people pushing and crushing him. Everyone else was getting really ticked off. This _sucked._

"Is the air conditioning on or what?" The detective grumbled.

The mouse continued to ramble… and the King actually seemed to be asleep…

It was really, really difficult to fight the urge to just fall asleep and be done with all of this stupidity…

"I'm SO sleepy." Summer frowned.

"The king gets to sleep…" Tim groaned, staring up at the ceiling in frustration.

"Ya, I'm lovin' the judicial system they got here…" Bullock muttered irritably.

"What do you expect? It was designed by a madcap criminal." Arthur sighed loudly.

"SHH! We're coming to the best part!" Ally Knox whispered enthusiastically.

Everyone silenced. And Ally leaned in as close as he could to listen intensely. And then he started flapping his hands in excitement: "Here it comes… here it comes!"

But the mouse was as boring a drone as ever.

"Oh my GOD." Arthur was rubbing his face with his hands to stay awake.

The mouse continued on and on and ON… His hard stare never wavering… And nothing he said made any sense so it was very difficult to follow his stories and remain engaged. The listener found themselves constantly losing the thread of the tale.

And then Bullock unexpectedly slapped himself to wake up. And everyone jumped.

"Guys… I'm going." He said. "Seriously." And then he smacked his face again.

Arthur, looking tired, pulled out his lighter and without warning burned Harvey's neck.

Only to get smacked in the face for it! Arthur tried to smack back, crushing Summer and Tim in the process. This resulted in a brief and amusing scuffle in the row that affected everyone. Including some fantasy characters. Everyone was smacking at each other in great annoyance.

"Hey, hey, hey…" Ally Knox whispered feverishly.

Fortunately the king was asleep and things simmered down naturally.

"Well… at least we're awake now…" Tim muttered. "Sort of."

And the mouse plowed on and on… and the clock on the courtroom wall just continued to spin uselessly giving no proper indication of how much time was passing…

"This guy…What the _hell_?" Bullock rubbed his face and ran his hands through his hair.

Arthur looked like he was at the end of his rope. "I told you people this was a death trap."

It went on and on and the listener felt as though their brain was _rotting_ in their skull.

Tim Drake randomly started laughing to himself. That lazy, tired laugh of someone who's been pushed too far and is finally just letting go.

"You gonna make it, kid?" Bullock looked over mockingly.

Summer looked upset, "This Wonderland thing… It's just been too many days of madness… It just never ends!"

Tim was still chuckling tiredly. And then he sighed, "You know when something's just gone so far that you don't know whether to laugh or cry?"

No one answered. But they knew what he meant. This was unending and so surreal.

And then Ally started laughing. Just because Tim was.

So Arthur Reeves sighed very loudly and buried his head in his arms. "If I ever get out of this alive, I'll be bonkers. Just _bananas_." He muttered to no one in particular.

Tim smiled lazily, "This reminds me of the time I was trapped in an elevator with like thirty people for over an hour. The elevator jammed coz we'd filled it SO far over capacity in our impatience. It was so crowded some guy got buried. And some other guy decided to try to go on top like a crowd surfer to create more room. It was just like this experience… only SHORTER… And man, did it ever SMELL after a while…"

Arthur, face still hidden in his arms, muttered, "Thanks for that, kid."

"Wake up." Summer smacked Arthur. "You're forgetting names."

"Oh no. He remembers. It's just a blatant disrespect thing." Tim sighed. And then he turned to Bullock – who also called him _kid_ discourteously – "Right, detective?"

Harvey snorted rudely, "Think I remember your name?"

And then Tim really laughed out loud.

Edward glanced back... He turned to Ivy, "Hmm… I think we're losing the boy."

"We're losing ME." Ivy rubbed her eyes. "This mouse is the worst…"

The mouse continued to ramble and the audience grew more and more restless and uncomfortable. The Gotham crew continued to shift around in their seats, desperately trying to find a position that worked long term. They kept cramping up.

"I can't breathe…" Ally rasped out at one point trying to push Arthur from him.

"Get off me." Arthur whispered fiercely, shoving back.

And at one point Gleeson lost her temper with Bullock being pressed so tightly against her. His elbow was actually digging into her in a painful way. And so they started to struggle for a different arrangement. And unfortunately, his hand ended up accidentally somewhere it shouldn't have been and-

SMACK! Another hit in the head. "You creep!" Gleeson hissed.

Harvey lost it: "That is just f-cking it! Enough with the hitting!"

"ORDER!" The King woke up and automatically smacked his mallet. He looked around to see where the disruption was coming from, but he'd missed it.

Harvey settled back into his seat, flushed with anger. Gleeson had hit him one too many times this afternoon. He muttered furiously, "That's why you'll never marry, Gleeson. You're one of those hitting, nagging bitches."

"This from YOU? Don't get me started on the very long, long, LONG list as to why you'll always be alone." Summer snarled angrily.

"Hey! I carried your weak ass halfway cross the countryside, lady!" Bullock started to raise his voice again.

"Aww… ever the white knight." Tim smirked lazily, low in his seat.

"Easy, easy, easy!" Ally Knox tried to quiet them down. "Big, deep breaths, people! I know we're all getting really fed up, but-"

"Tell her to simmer the f-ck down!" Bullock was livid.

Arthur snorted. "And Bullock's about to have his FOURTH brawl of the afternoon…"

"Go the hell, Reeves." Harvey muttered irritably. He was just so pissed.

"Already there." Reeves didn't miss a beat.

"If you do go, write back about the weather..." Ally yawned. "I'm curious."

"Any man I married wouldn't NEED to be smacked. He'd be a decent human being." Summer muttered to herself bitterly. It was clearly directed at Bullock.

Knox piped up cheerfully, "Exactly. She's never hit me once!"

Gleeson rolled her eyes. "Keep dreaming, Knox."

Tim started chuckling again tiredly.

And so Arthur decided enough was enough and pulled out his lighter.

"OW!" Tim Drake jumped up in his seat, snapping out of it.

Suddenly, the Mouse on the stand stood up. "I cannot continue with so much whispering! I find this inattentiveness offensive!"

"SILENCE in my court!" The king slammed his mallet. "Please continue, Mouse. What you're saying is very important to this investigation."

If it was, the jurors weren't writing it down. They were all asleep.

The King noticed this and cleared his throat, "Actually… Thank you, Mouse. We've heard more than enough. I'm going to call the second witness."

Everyone waited to hear who the second witness was…

**"Commissioner Gordon."** The king called formally.

"HUH?" This was the loud chorus heard from the Gothamites. Even Riddler was shocked. Every head turned abruptly.

"Just getting you all to pay attention again." The King said flippantly.

"OY." Bullock shook his head and looked at Reeves.

Reeves gave him a look that said: _Ya really. _

The King cleared his throat. "NOW… my _real_ second witness is none other than…"

* * *

Batgirl hit the ground, ice crawling quickly up her legs.

Instantly, Batman pulled a spray from his belt and misted this spreading danger. The ice stopped spreading and then dissipated quickly. Barbara's life and legs were saved.

Mr. Freeze had not paused for this rescue, however. He was battling Nightwing.

Grayson spun, dodging a deadly gun blast of ice. "Is the clock still ticking or what?" He called out.

"36 minutes. Yes." The clown smiled on the screen overhead. "The countdown stops only if I've been stopped. Get it?"

All three Bats were now attacking Freeze. Victor fought as best he could, but he was outnumbered. He fired and fired his gun, but he was losing ground to them.

They were excellent at dodging! And when he actually hit, they had that damn _spray_! He needed a head shot to have a hope in hell… Just one HEAD shot…

He found himself backing up more and more. He would soon be up against the wall.

"You're dropping the ball, Freeze." The clown sighed, sounding bored and unimpressed.

Victor kept trying for head shots.

But Batman eventually knocked the ice blaster from his hands. And then Nightwing kicked him to the ground and Batgirl threw out a cord that wrapped around him with lightening speed.

"Team work!" Batgirl felt pumped. She pulled to tighten her hold on Freeze.

"Damn it." Freeze accepted his lot. He knew when he was beat.

"Oh, screw you people." Joker scowled. "Do you have ANY idea how hard it was to infect this guy? We're talking really, _really_ hard."

"Give it up, Joker!" Batman snarled impatiently.

"I knew you'd say something cheesy like that. You always do." Joker rolled his eyes.

And then unexpectedly, he said: "Round two!"

And a Man Bat unexpectedly burst through the window beside them and slammed all three heroes across the room painfully.

The dark, ugly bruises would be horrendous! If they survived, of course…

"I just love Dr. Langstrom's formula. Don't you?" Joker laughed. "And I'll let you GUESS who is transformed for our entertainment tonight. I just love guessing games, after all! Hmm… You might not wanna hurt him too badly… Good luck with that…"

* * *

Bullock had walked to the lab as slowly as he dared. He still had absolutely nothing. No idea what to do. He'd had some really close brushes with death, but the idea of the surgical tools was really freaking him out.

But you'd never know it. Coz he'd learned the first rule very, very well – _Never let them see you scared._

He looked down at Paige, but was unable to read her sickly expression. She was clinging to him tightly as though frightened. Once again, she was curling up into him as though trying to hide her face. It worked because he was a big guy and naturally cuddly.

He could feel how tense her back muscles were. This made him feel even worse. She _knew _he had nothing. That they were doomed.

As she clung tightly, Harvey moved his fingers on her back in a way he hoped was comforting. He gave her a good squeeze, trying to communicate something – anything. They were going to take her away soon and he wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

Sure enough, he was instructed to set her down on a long, silver counter.

As he let her go, he gave her the most apologetic look he could muster. He needed her to understand that he was sorry he was letting this happen. That he didn't know what to do.

She did nothing to reassure him. She just looked sick and frightened. Which was odd – she'd always been so cold, hard and tough. Kinda like him. But nobody wanted to die a Scarecrow death. _Nobody_. They were the absolute worst deaths. The kind cops prayed not to get.

The detective was forced to sit down with his back to a beam. Two Face pulled his arms back around it and tied them very tightly. Then he went to tie his legs.

"Not the legs." Crane instructed bluntly. "I want to see him thrash in terror."

Two Face was irritated. "I'm not your bitch, Crane."

"You're just cross that you lost the coin toss." Scarecrow was dismissive.

Hatter – looking at poor Monroe – interrupted unexpectedly, "These symptoms… my goodness. This virus has manifested itself in a way I never expected. I didn't realize people would react adversely and DIE. That wasn't part of the plan at all…"

"Well, perhaps you should have planned better." Two Face snarled darkly.

Hatter frowned, "I didn't do this, Dent. Haven't I made that perfectly clear? Someone STOLE my unpolished plans! It was all fairly hypothetical still. I hadn't done enough testing. It was long ago and I lost interest in the project… There were a lot of unknown variables and I moved onto other things…"

"Whoever used your blueprints had no idea what they were doing. YOU didn't fully understand what you were doing. And now we're all paying the price." Crane sighed.

Jervis tried not to let the barb sting as he continued to work on his laptop beside Monroe. This was almost, almost ready... "Well, hopefully we've got something here. This should be it." He said quietly.

And then Scarecrow held up a little vial to the light. It was a beautiful violet colour. Crane examined it and said, "Ah... revenge is so beautiful..."And then he loaded it into a small gun.

Two Face, irritated beyond his limit, unexpectedly smacked the gun out of his hand.

"I was supposed to grease him." Dent snarled. "We've got history."

Scarecrow was angry. "We've all got history with this boorish brute. Do you have any idea how many times he's roughed me up just for the fun of it? How he judges and demeans those he arrests? He should have been dismissed for police brutality YEARS ago. He lives to abuse geeky freaks like me!"

Dent growled dangerously, "We don't have time for your stupid torture crap. Just let me shoot him!"

"No-" Crane started.

But Two Face cocked his gun and pointed it at Bullock defiantly.

Crane glared, "I won the coin toss, damn it. He's mine."

Two Face kept the gun fixed on Bullock. He really seemed to be taking the shot. There was a moment of great intensity where the detective held his breath.

But then Dent slammed down his arm in great frustration and said, "Screw this! I'll be outside."

He stormed out of the room, unable to defy the coin toss. He had lost.

Crane watched Two Face leave with a triumphant smirk. And then he bent down and retrieved the little gun from the floor.

Bullock stared at the gun coldly. He refused to look frightened. He didn't want to give Crane the satisfaction. The guy was a sadistic freak.

Though the detective hadn't wanted to be shot dead right then and there by Dent, part of him knew it was a much better fate than the torture that was coming. He would like to pretend that on some level his old friend Harvey Dent was still in there and had wanted to spare him the terror and agony. But that was way too idealistic.

Truth be told, Dent wanted to kill him personally and it probably bugged the guy that a freak like Scarecrow was going to get his jollies from… ugh… He didn't even wanna finish the thought. This was just too horrible.

Hatter interrupted: "Jon, I'm ready here. I need you to give the injection. You went to medical school."

Crane set down the gun and walked over to Monroe and Tetch. He quickly prepared a syringe.

The detective turned his head against the beam to watch. He saw liquid entering the syringe. Just watching it made his flesh crawl.

He really didn't want this to happen. He couldn't believe he was letting it happen.

Crane gave the injection. Bullock cringed inside. His heart sank as he watched the syringe slowly drain into Paige's body. It was so slow it drove him _crazy_. He wanted to shout aggressively, but he knew better.

Finally, he had to look away. Paige was done. He didn't even want to think about it going through her blood stream… What it would do to her… But either way, what was done was done. There was no turning back for her now.

"We'll know soon enough." Tetch frowned. "Hopefully this is finally it."

"I doubt it." Crane muttered. Now that Two Face was gone, he could speak frankly. "I've been at this all night. I don't know why Dent thought I could do this. But I had little choice but to cooperate and try my best. I need a cure as much as anyone, after all."

"Well, hypothetically, this should work..." Hatter frowned. "Though I've been wrong before…"

Crane sighed and went over to the other counter, picking up his gun.

"Alright, Detective..." He tried to get into the right frame of mind after that interruption. "I hope you enjoyed watching your friend take an experimental injection. I know you've seen how all my other guinea pigs turned out. But who knows, she may only go blind or something..."

Crane finished with a wicked smirk. Bullock wanted to knock his teeth out.

But he didn't speak. He knew his voice would betray all the emotions flooding him.

"Nothing to say? Hm... Oh well." Crane shrugged. "Goodbye."

WACK.

He fired a dart into the detective's neck unexpectedly. OUCH!

Bullock didn't need to ask what he'd just been dosed with. It was pretty clear. And it wouldn't matter in the next few minutes anyway… he was about to die regardless…

* * *

The King announced, "My _real_ second witness is none other than… Timothy Drake!"

"What?" Tim blinked in surprise.

And then the boy realized he was sitting on the stand before the audience. He suddenly felt like an insect in a jar. He looked up at the monarchs nervously. This wasn't good.

"Now, Timothy… Please tell us what you know about the theft of the tarts." The king spoke very gravely.

Tim frowned, "But I don't know anything about it."

"TIMOTHY…" The king warned. "You MUST tell us all you know."

"All I know? Well, that could take some time. Should I start with letters or numbers?" Tim tried to joke. No one laughed. He made a gesture to indicate it had been a joke. But the king looked as frosty as ever.

Tim's face fell. He looked to his comrades in the crowd for guidance. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. Why had they called him?

"It isn't looking good for the brat." Ivy said quietly to Edward.

"Nope. He's just about done." Riddler agreed.

"Tell us your information or you'll be executed!" The Queen boomed angrily.

"What am I supposed to do?" Tim was exasperated. "Make a bunch of crap up like that stupid mouse!"

"HOW – DARE – YOU!" The mouse stood in the front row and pointed at him with the greatest severity.

"ORDER!" The king slammed his mallet. "Timothy-"

"ENOUGH." The queen stood and pointed to Tim. "Off with his head!"

The guards moved to seize Tim Drake.

"Objection!" Arthur Reeves stood up. He had no idea what he was doing and he knew he was going to regret it shortly, but he just had to do something. Tim was about to be taken to the executioner's block!

Everyone froze.

"Objection, your majesty." Arthur struggled and stumbled out of his crowded row.

"Who are you?" The queen demanded crossly.

"I'm a lawyer." Arthur answered simply.

"A lawyer?" The king frowned. "Oh no, I can't abide lawyers in my courtroom."

"My client has the right to representation-"

"Alright, alright." The king said hurriedly. "No lawyer talk. I won't stand for lawyer talk. I will not question this witness. You are dismissed."

And with that Arthur and Tim were suddenly back in the audience.

"I shall now call my third witness…" The king said formerly. "The dodo."

"See, Reeves?" Tim smirked. "You _are_ capable of courage. Doesn't it feel good?"

"A simple THANK YOU would do." Reeves muttered. And then he realized his knees were a little shaky. He'd been collected and confident in the moment, but now that it was over, his body was reacting involuntarily.

Summer placed a hand on his knee to still it. "Nice save." She told him.

A cheerful white bird in a blue Hawaiian shirt and dark sunglasses strutted nonchalantly down the aisle. He motioned greetings to this person and that. He even clicked his hand like a gun at someone. And then, remembering Reeves, he lifted his shades and winked at the councilman.

When the dodo took the stand he was a total smart ass. For every question the king asked, he had a smarty pants answer. And a smirk on his face. But at least it kept them awake. It wasn't boring and droning and painful like the mouse. It was kinda funny at times.

Bullock was getting very restless. Something felt wrong. _Really _wrong. He wasn't prone to anxiety like Gleeson. And yet… he felt more and more uneasy with every passing second…

He didn't realize that he was dying. How could he know? But the death anxiety was building in him. It was leaking through into the fantasy.

He realized he was grinding his teeth like mad. He needed to put something in his mouth. He just kept grinding. The craving for a cigar was really strong. But food, drink, gum, etc, would do. But there was nothing to be had.

He found himself staring at the tarts at the front. Too bad that wasn't an option. That would do the trick. But he looked away. He didn't want to get caught staring longingly at the food. OY! People made fun of him enough about that kinda crap already… eesh…

_Where is this stress coming from? Woah…_

He'd been brutally addicted to nicotine for years. Turned out the stuff was just as addictive as heroin, cocaine – any of that crap. Most cigars had like ten, twenty or even _forty_ times as much nicotine as cigarettes, so he'd always preferred them. But he'd managed to quit.

But now he felt exceptionally edgy. He desperately craved a good, solid shot of nicotine to soothe away this funk he was in. Nicotine reached the brain within SECONDS.

But he'd quit and started stuffing other stuff into his mouth constantly… food, toothpicks... Sometimes he wondered if he shouldn't just switch back. He'd lose weight and he'd lose a lot of the crappy comments people made day in and out about his gluttony. He wasn't sure which was unhealthier – being overweight or smoking.

He stuck a toothpick in his mouth, hoping he'd get his oral fix. But it was no good. He was just too edgy for some reason. What the hell?

Harvey found himself getting progressively grouchier. And Gleeson and Reeves were squished and irritable, so they weren't tolerant of it. It wasn't long before they were all snarky with each other all over again.

The king continued to interrogate the dodo.

"Hmm…" The bird lifted his shades, his eyes thinking. "Let me see… I guess it was pepsi… or… hmm… It might have been coke. I really couldn't tell ya, mate. I always failed the pepsi challenge."

"Write that down!" The queen barked at the jurors. "It's very important!"

And the jurors wrote down PEPSI and whatnot randomly on their chalkboards with their other nonsensical gibberish that had nothing to do with the trial at hand.

Suddenly, Arthur's voice was heard, accidentally too loud: "Well, SORRY! We don't all use addiction to cope with how much we hate out lives!"

Edward Nygma burst out laughing at this. It was great.

The King sighed, "Alright, dodo. Thank you. I'll now call my… what number are we on?"

No one answered.

"Oh whatever." The king slammed his mallet. "Next witness."

* * *

The Man Bat, whomever it was this time, was coming at them furiously. The sound it was making was horrible – it was a monstrous shrieking, like the raptors in Jurassic Park. The claws and fangs were deadly sharp too.

Nightwing took a bad slash across the back as he tried to dodge.

Batgirl pulled out some tranquilizer darts… but she couldn't get a clear shot that didn't risk her teammates!

Batman lunged on the creature's back and the two raged around the room smashing into everything in their path.

Batgirl decided to fire off her hook instead and caught the creature around the ankles… Only to be lifted right off the ground.

Nightwing lunged to grab her, had her for a second and pulled back – only to lose her. He hit the ground as she was taken through the air.

The weight of two Bats at least slowed the enraged, psychotic creature down somewhat. But that horrible shrieking and roaring was just awful. Batgirl closed her eyes for a second and prayed that everything was going to be ok.

And then she swung around on the cord right at the creature and kicked it in the face so hard that they all went backwards into another wall.

The Man Bat was only stunned for a second, however. It slashed at her savagely. She recoiled and ended up tripping backwards.

Batman kicked the creature away from her just in time. It had been about to slit her throat open with its talon-like claws.

"Got a cure in that belt of yours?" Nightwing rushed over. "You're always prepared."

"Hopefully it's the exact same formula." Bruce loaded his dart gun.

The Man Bat knocked the gun away and pounced on Batman murderously.

Nightwing didn't waste a second. He sprang onto the gun and just FIRED blindly. He didn't calculate the risk as Batgirl had!

Thankfully, it hit the bat right in the back. It cried out in surprise… and then… almost immediately something started to happen…

"I just LOVE how you're prepared for a random Man Bat attack." Grayson shook his head in disbelief. He handed Batman back the gun.

Barbara bit her tongue and held back a comment about how he'd fired blindly with no regard for the consequences… She was just grateful it was ok!

The creature collapsed and began to slowly, slowly change…

"Who is it?" Batgirl whispered, coming over cautiously.

The three Bats stood over the creature and waited to find out who it was…

But it was just Dr. Langstrom.

The Joker laughed loudly… "I thought it would be better if you thought it was a loved one on the line. Someone you couldn't bare to hurt."

And then he added, "OK, Bolton. Make me proud!"

Lock-Up sprang at Batman with a bazooka. He fired immediately and they all dodged.

* * *

"Shouldn't have left him for last. He's not that great." Joker turned to Harley Quinn.

She was unhappy Lyle Bolton was around at all. So she didn't speak.

Joker snarled, "Where the HELL is Clock King? He was supposed to be here like 20 minutes ago! We're almost out of cannon fodder!"

_Almost._ Harley didn't like the sound of that. She assumed he meant _her_. And the girl.

Harley frowned and returned her attention to the little girl she was watching over. A little blonde who looked very frightened. She was only six.

Quinn really hoped it wouldn't come to actually hurting the little girl… jeez…

She kept hoping Clock King would barge in. If Fugate arrived in time, it was going to get really, really ugly out there for the Bat crew.

* * *

Bullock cringed as the dart struck. It hurt.

Nothing happened immediately. He looked at Scarecrow, who was smiling wickedly.

"Now..." Crane went over to the counter. "Let's see..."

He began setting out all sorts of frightening surgical tools for Bullock to see. He took his time, knowing the fear toxin needed several minutes to works its way through the blood stream...

The detective kept his hard, angry expression on his face. But eventually he had to stop looking at the tools. It was just too awful.

He picked a spot on the wall and tried to collect himself. He tried to drown out the sound of metal tools. He needed to slow his pulse down. He wanted to die well. He liked to consider himself from the old school of tough guys – it was very important to die well.

But then he thought of Paige. Was she still alive?

So he turned his head again against the beam… And sure enough, he saw that she was still conscious. Monroe's face was actually turned towards him, watching him weakly.

She was probably going to witness whatever horrific things happened to him in the next few minutes. He really hoped he kept his dignity. But he doubted he'd be able to. He'd almost been certainly dosed with more fear toxin.

Well… hopefully he wouldn't beg… or piss himself. He really didn't want to die badly. So many guys did in this town. Coz in the end, you're only human. The truth was – death was rarely a dignified thing. He'd seen a lot of people die over the years, including his old man. Death was _ugly_.

He could really hear tools now. So he focused on Paige. Her eyes were an extremely dark brown. Like her hair. She was clearly sad. She didn't want to die anymore than he did.

He smiled at her reassuringly, trying to play it slick like the movies. To show that despite what followed, he wasn't actually a coward.

But she didn't smile back. And he was disheartened.

Gradually, he began to hallucinate. Only he didn't realize it at all. The transition was invisible.

He heard the metal tray approaching and his pulse raced out of control. So far out of control that he couldn't get it back. It was like a horse running for its life in a freaking panic. He would never get the reins again…

_Crane knelt down before him and said quietly, "Now, I'm going to very carefully remove a few of your organs and show them to you. But don't worry... I won't remove anything TOO vital... And then I'll leave you here when we make our escape. You'd be surprised how long one can live without their innards. You'll probably last the night..."_

_Bullock involuntarily thought of the zebra from __**Life of Pie**__. The one that a hyena had slowly eaten alive. It had survived without its stomach and intestines overnight. It had suffered unspeakably, though. The life had drained from it very slowly. Initially it had been thrashing like mad to resist... but as the hours rolled by... It had less and less energy and it eventually stopped fighting the hyena's advances. It twitched for a time the next morning, but by noon it was gone. Eyes blank._

_What a horrible, horrible way to die. He couldn't have imagined worse for himself._

"_Naturally, I'm not using any anesthetic. So this is going to be __**excruciatingly**__ painful." Crane smiled evilly."You can't even begin to imagine the pain…"_

_Bullock heard the tray by his side. Then he felt Crane untucking his shirt. _

_He panicked. He absolutely panicked. _

_His feet were not tied, so he went utterly ballistic. He kicked like a cornered, crazed wild animal. He'd die fighting. Maybe strangle Crane with his legs! Regardless, there was no way he was just going to sit still for this. No freaking way. Crane would be kicked black and blue. He'd bust the guy's ribs…. Break his freaking face! _

_He flipped out so badly his panic was like a bird flapping in his ears. He couldn't see. _

Crane, standing on the other side of the room with Tetch, watched the detective's meltdown with a smile on his face. Bullock was thrashing and kicking madly, absolutely flipping out like he was being murdered. Dissected alive.

Hatter, eyes glued to his computer screen, was refusing to watch. This was not his style at all. He didn't like it.

Scarecrow smirked, "I've mastered several formulas for executing enemies. This particular dosage generally kills within five to ten minutes. The body can only take so much before it dies of fright."

* * *

The next witness was the duchess' cook. Bullock recognized the man immediately. He was carrying a large pot under one arm and holding a rolling pin up in the other.

"There ya go, Harv. Dinner's served." Arthur smirked.

Bullock would normally have been angered by the shot, but his stomach was hollow and watery and his pulse was racing. He felt so nervous that he just wanted everything to stop. What was wrong with him?

"You ok?" Reeves asked him suddenly. There was actually concern on the councilman's face. Harvey usually snapped something horrible back at him. Instead, the guy looked… well…

"I'm fine." Bullock lied dismissively. He looked away trying to seem cross. He was very good at masking his feelings. No matter how scared he was, he did his damndest not to show it on the outside. But he knew for a _fact_ something was wrong with him.

The cook took the stand. The detective tried to focus his attention on the witness. It was the same scum bag who'd thrown pots, pans and china at the little tiny guy. He'd thrown a rolling pin directly at the baby's head. Guys like that belonged behind bars. This should be_ his_ freaking trial. Bastard.

Harvey remembered the little one's cries of suffering… the glass striking its skin… the horrible look on its red, wet face… And he wanted to kick the crap outta this guy…

He also remembered those tiny little hands on his face and neck… grabbing his ear… They'd been so freaking tiny and soft. Nothing had even been _that_ adorable. Not ever. Wow. Sweet stuff like that didn't really happen to him.

And for a second, he was actually distracted from his anxiety. It was a really great memory. Too bad it got trashed to hell when he remembered the nightmarish transformation that followed.

"You must give your evidence." The king said very grandly to the cook.

The cook raised an eyebrow skeptically. He did not speak.

"You must give your evidence." The king repeated impatiently.

"I won't." The cook was blunt.

The King sighed loudly. "Dear…"

"You'll give your evidence or you'll be executed." The Queen warned.

"This witness needs to be _cross examined_…" The White Rabbit whispered nervously.

"OH." The King realized his mistake. "Right. Of course. I knew that."

And then, in the exact same way as before, he said: "You must give your evidence."

"What are tarts made of?" The Queen asked the cook.

"She made them. Doesn't she know?" Tim snorted from his seat. He glanced at the others to see if they found it amusing. No one reacted. Bullock actually looked nervous. Almost sickly.

"Hey… big guy…" Tim nudged Bullock's foot with his own. "You ok?"

"Not feeling so hot." The detective admitted. It was getting bad enough that he'd admit it.

"What are tarts made of?" The queen was repeating at the front.

"Pepper." The cook answered plainly. And Bullock remembered the clouds of pepper.

"Treacle." The dormouse called sleepily from their row.

And the Queen unexpectedly flew into a rage, "Collar that Dormouse! Behead that Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off with his whiskers!"

And then there was absolute chaos while the dormouse was snatched up and removed.

"What's treacle again?" Tim asked Ally. Totally unfazed by the drama.

"Order! Order!" The King called out. "NOW…" He turned back to the cook.

But the cook had somehow vanished. He was gone from the courtroom.

"I wish I could do that." Tim snorted quietly.

"What on earth?" The king frowned, scratching his head under his crown with his mallet.

"This won't do at all. We need that evidence!" The queen was furious.

And then Bullock had an idea. It was a crazy idea. But hey, Reeves' little stunt earlier had actually worked. Crazy crap worked in this fantasy. Why not try? It was a real gamble… and he wasn't feeling well at all… _but_…

The others would probably never forgive him, but his gut told him to just do it. It was a chance to set things right.

"Permission to speak, your grace." He stood up, surprising everyone.

"Speak or be executed!" The queen barked impatiently.

"The Duchess can likely answer any questions her cook can." He said simply.

This was probably not true, but whatever. That wasn't the point.

Reeves bolted upright in his seat, his back suddenly poker straight.

Summer and Tim turned and looked at Bullock as though he'd lost his mind.

They all knew _exactly _what he was trying to do and they couldn't believe it. What was he thinking?

It was a crazy, nonsense gamble. But this place was like that.

"Very well." The Queen decided.

And then the King cleared his throat, as if it was HIS decision, and said: "Very well."

The back door slammed open dramatically.

Down the aisle came the Duchess. Once again saved from execution.

And she looked as evil and deadly as ever.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks again so much for the reviews! I really, really appreciate any feedback! ^^_


	15. Death in Disarray A Charming Strikeout

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 15: Escaping Death in Disarray and a Charming Strikeout**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: I apologize for any typos! ... Hopefully people haven't given up on this HUGE story.**

* * *

"OK, OK, quick! Get this!" Jack Ryder hissed at his cameraman.

The camera pointed to a seedy looking escaped convict still in his prison uniform. He was darting down the street with his arms full of loot.

"Carl Fowler. Remember him? Nostromos, he called himself." The newsman was excited. "We're actually capturing him mid-escape. This is GREAT footage. Stay with him! STAY WITH HIM!"

"Like Nostradamus?" His cameraman blinked. He continued to follow Carl Fowler with his lens.

"Basically. He was a fake prophet... QUICK, quick – ZOOM IN." Jack pointed intensely. "This will be perfect for the part of my narration where I talk about how all the jails emptied and all the dangerous criminals escaped!"

_You keep assuming things will return to normal. _His cameraman thought gravely.

"OK, zoom out again! ZOOM OUT!" Jack freaked, pointing.

"You need to stop talking over the shots. I know what I'm do-"

"Quick, quick! We're losing him!" Jack never, ever listened to his camera guy.

Fowler disappeared into an ally.

"OH, QUICK!" Jack jumped excitedly. "Get that building... it's starting to cave in!"

"I hope no one's inside..." The other man looked uncertain. "Should we-"

"You're missing it! COME ON!" Jack insisted animatedly.

The cameraman sighed unhappily and turned to do as he was told.

Jack smirked, "Watch out, Summer Gleeson. Jack's taking the lead!"

* * *

Klarion was sitting on his knees casually in a chair in Jason Blood's study. He was flipping emotionlessly through an enormous ancient manuscript. The book was so large and heavy it was placed on a stand on the table before him.

His orange and black tabby, Teekl, was curled up in a ball fast asleep beside it.

On the other side, a crystal ball was displaying random images of the devastation occurring around Gotham City. There were horrific images and terrible screams and sobs. Just a little _white noise_ to relax and entertain the boy as he looked nonchalantly for new spells of interest...

The witch boy sighed and slammed the book closed.

"Jason is SUCH a bore." He said in a spoiled tone. He had always been a hateful child. Long before the magic. Long before turning his fake parents into mice... and feeding them to Teekl...

Klarion sighed loudly as though it was all just _too much. _He lay back, the back of his head against the chair and stared up at the shadows that danced in the firelight on the ceiling.

He had started the fire absently with a mere thought. He hadn't lifted a finger. He hadn't used a single ounce of effort. His power was great. But he wasted it like the boy he was. On ice cream... and movies... and punishing people who tried to scold him...

Klarion glanced over at Talia. Still on the ground, her hair over her face. His eyes registered her existence for an instant, but he felt nothing.

He didn't care. No action was required. She'd die of thirst eventually.

He sat in the chair for a few moments... thinking dark thoughts... And then unexpectedly – SLAM!

Klarion knocked the book to the ground. "No decent reading material a'tall." He snapped pettily.

He turned to the book shelf and as if by telekinesis, the books starting flying off the shelves... opening... He went through them effortlessly... The pages fluttered, they floated... It was all very, very fast...

"Nothing, nothing, nothing!" Klarion was petulant. He was prone to these huffy little outbursts.

He let them all drop simultaneous and scowled, curling deeper into the chair. "Nothing really dark or evil in the whole bloody room!" (At least nothing _new_, anyway...)

And then he saw Batman fighting Lock-Up in the crystal ball.

"AH YES..." The witch boy remembered Batman very well. "Yes, yes, yes..."

A dark, evil smile came across his young face. His boredom immediately faded.

* * *

Bullock was suffering horribly.

_Because he was struggling, Crane was doing a hack job of the dissection. It was horrendous. Just unspeakable. And the pain was __**phenomenally**__ wicked. He thought he'd literally die from the pain soon. He'd been wounded several times, but this was a whole different level – freakin' outrageously painful. Surely a person could die of pain. _

"_You'll only die faster struggling. I'm wrecking things." Crane told him calmly. _

_The detective didn't care. He was beyond reason at this point. There were no coherent thoughts anymore. He was going ballistic. Few would have guessed he could kick so quickly and wildly for so long._

_But no matter how hard he kicked, even when he struck Crane directly, the dissecting just did not stop. Nothing halted this hideous procedure. _

_And he knew there was no turning back. He was dead no matter what now. He'd seen some absolutely terrifying indicators that it was over. _

_It was only a matter of time now... This was really, really it this time. There's no turning back from... _

_Well, at least he wasn't begging. Or crying... _

_Coz it wasn't like the guy was gonna stop. No amount of babbling, tearful empty promises would change anything. And there was no working hospital anymore anyway. Over was over. Begging and crying would only entertain his murderer. _

_No matter how hard he tried he couldn't strangle Crane to death with his legs. _

_He hadn't known such a level of pain and terror existed. This was a terrible way to go... And he didn't want to go. In a lot of ways he'd squandered his life. In that sense, he really did feel like crying. But hell no. HELL no. _

His heart couldn't take much more. It really couldn't.

Jonathan Crane was watching him thrash around. Smirking to Jervis Tetch, he said, "I think he's going to bite his tongue off!"

After a few more minutes, the detective was still struggling... He was frightened and angry... But he wasn't begging or crying or babbling – the really satisfying stuff... HMM...

Crane glanced at his watch and muttered, "Hm. He's healthier than he appears."

Finally, six minutes had passed and Harvey was still alive. Surprising.

Most didn't last _five_ minutes. Ten was the absolute max that the healthiest of victims lasted.

It wasn't about will power or spirit or anything melodramatic like that. It was a simple fact of biology. The human body can only physically handle so much before it physically gives out. The will to live could only take someone so far... or so Crane felt, anyway.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang outside. It didn't sound good.

Hatter and Scarecrow instantly exchanged nervous glances. Perhaps the attack had commenced.

Little needed to be said:

"Gather everything. I'll check." Scarecrow hurried out of the room, putting on his mask.

Tetch started gathering up his work... And then he stopped and looked at the suffering detective.

Hatter hesitated only a moment before he started packing his briefcase again...

And then he cursed himself and unexpectedly hurried over to Crane's rack of vials. He quickly checked to make sure Crane was still gone and then began rummaging as fast as he possibly could. He knew the colour of the little vial he was after. He and Crane had worked together many, many times before.

_A-ha! There. _He snatched a little viridian coloured vial so quickly he fumbled it and it hit the counter.

He hastily loaded the little gun as he walked over to the dying detective.

And then he fired the dart into Bullock's arm.

"As much as I dislike you, I just can't stand Jon's cruelty." Jervis muttered.

Bullock, the side of his face against the beam, was panting. He was extremely dishevelled and flushed. He stared at the Mad Hatter with wet eyes... He had no idea what was happening...

"Now, be still and silent. Pretend you've had a heart attack and be unresponsive. That's the best I can do for you. Do you understand? DON'T make me regret this act of charity you don't deserve."

The detective heard Hatter's words and nodded, but he wouldn't understand what was happening for several more minutes. His heart was still thundering...

On some level, he thought Hatter was killing him to put him out of his misery. But for the most part, he was out of it. All he knew was that his organs had been removed and Crane was there and not there simultaneously... and Tetch was talking... So ya, he was in a blur...

Jervis was quickly gathering up all of his work again. He and Crane probably had to flee now. If Scarecrow even came back. The doctor had been gone a while now. Something was happening.

But then Hatter glanced at Bullock and said, "I really did mean to reform, you know. My successes in rehabilitation were sincere. .." And then he sighed tiredly. "Unfortunately, that's all out the window now."

Or was it? Saving one of the top cops in Gotham never hurt. Hatter was many things, but a fool wasn't one of them. Once again he was making an abrupt, gutsy play to look out for himself. No one expects the mild mannered brainy guy – so when he strikes, watch out...

He needed to get to the bi-plane. Immediately.

Again the detective had heard Hatter's words, but was a flushed, wet eyed mess... He was exhausted from the struggle from hell... He just slumped against the pole...

Footsteps were approaching. Jervis froze.

Scarecrow entered, "False alarm. Turns out Brown has prepared a little surprise for our enemies. It seems I underestimated the cowboy. He's quite the scientist."

Tetch suddenly understood what the sound had been. Penguin and his allies were in for a shock.

And then Crane noticed Bullock slumped and silent.

"He had a heart attack." Jervis said indifferently. Unpacking his work again. Hopefully he could get away with playing both sides.

"And I missed it. Drats." Scarecrow sighed gloomily.

Crane turned his attention back to Monroe. "How's the girl?" He asked Jervis.

* * *

Lyle Bolton wasn't exactly Mr. Freeze or Man-Bat. The battle wasn't epic or anything... It was mere moments until he was put out of commission. Clock King needed to arrive NOW.

Joker sighed tiredly and turned to Harley Quinn. "Get the kid ready. You're on."

"Sure thing, Mistah J!" She sounded enthused, but she had mixed feelings tonight. She scurried into a back room where little Kimberley Ventrix was crying, curled up and frightened out of her mind. She wanted to go home. She wanted her mom.

"Come on, sweety..." Harley extended a hand gently. "It's show time."

"Please let me go. I'm scared." Kimmy sniffled tearfully. "Please."

Again, Harley felt the pang of bad feelings. She really didn't want anything bad to happen to this little girl. She was like six or seven years old and totally innocent. But Jack always said... You couldn't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, right? Right?

Kim was crying, covering her face. She was literally shaking.

Harley knelt down and took her tiny hands. "Nothing bad's gonna happen to you. I promise."

She only hoped that was actually true...

_You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. _

Harley didn't like the idea of breaking this little egg, though...

"Harley! Move it!" Joker barked from the other room. "Bolton's down."

* * *

The duchess had not had a chance to freshen up. She was still unkempt from her scuffle in the croquet gardens. Her splendid dress was still slipping down too far off her shoulders, clearly ripped. And her dark hair was still partially falling down. But she still had her diamond tiara and her dangling diamond earrings. And she still held her head held high as she stepped forward regally.

She was far too proud and cutthroat a woman to worry about escaping death in disarray.

Initially, her face was frozen in cold beauty. But then that wicked smirk returned to her lips and she was all arrogance again. She slowly made her way down the aisle with great pomp. Even in her disarray, she loved being a _spectacle._ And her slipping dress and casual hair only added to her sex appeal.

Edward Nygma shot Harvey Bullock a death glare. Bullock had brought her back. Eddie whirled around huffily in his seat. "I realize the guy is STUPID, but my GOD..."

Poison Ivy smirked, "It seems the angry jerk isn't immune to feminine wiles after all..." She had tried several times over the years to seduce the detective, only to find him as cold and hard as ICE. It was amusing for her to finally see him fall for a temptress, only to be soon squashed like a bug.

Riddler put his head in his hands and groaned. And then he muttered, "Maybe HE thinks a few kisses at a croquet match are worth DYING over, but does he have to take all of us with him?"

Meanwhile, the duchess was working her way to the front.

As she passed Bullock, who was still standing and staring at her, she gave him a very knowing smile. It was as sinister as ever... but it was also very familiar and meaningful...

Tim Drake caught the woman's expression and his heart leapt up into his throat. She was terrifying. This wasn't a woman. Underneath was some kind of blood thirsty demon. Tim reflexively grabbed Summer Gleeson's arm in fright. Summer looked down at him and smiled kindly. She gave him a little squeeze.

Tim instantly felt self conscious. He wasn't supposed to be weak and cowardly. But hey, courage wasn't about an absence of fear. It was about facing what fears arose. Fear was an unavoidable, natural sensation that kept a super hero on his toes! It kept you springing and flipping faster and faster. And there was nothing wrong with that.

The boy squeezed Summer back and decided it was ok to need somebody once at a while. Even Robin needed an Alfred hug now and then... But remembering Alfred made him sad. This was the second time he'd recently missed the old guy. Hopefully he'd get to see him again somehow...

Arthur took a good look at the beautiful woman's face. It was definitely the same woman he'd had a drink with in that little cafe in the real park, when they'd broken away from their tour...

Only she seemed different. She had a different spirit to her. A different presence. It was like she was _possessed_ or something. It was chilling.

As the duchess passed, Bullock noticed her whole back was pretty much exposed now. The dress was really torn and sliding. Her skin was soft and smooth. Her back was beautiful. He couldn't help but stare... And then he realized he was totally, totally ogling her like a jack ass!

And then his gaze met Poison Ivy's. She was smirking at him perceptively.

ACK! He felt his face redden and he sat down. Trying not to be too quick and awkward about it. But he was totally embarrassed. Why, why, WHY did he always have to make an ass of himself? No matter what, he always came out looking like a smuck. A greasy loser. ACK.

Summer gave him a funny look. She was confused by the flush in his cheeks.

"WHAT?" He snapped at her rudely, taking his frustration out on her.

And then he noticed Poison Ivy was now laughing. He couldn't hear her laugh, but he could see it. And he got more pissed off than ever.

Riddler turned around and glared at him. And then whispered heatedly, "You've doomed us over a fictitious booty call! You PIG!"

Bullock was angry and mortified simultaneously. Thus, no words came out. He just kinda choked in surprise.

"What exactly _is_ a booty call?" Tim asked casually. "I know what it _sounds_ like-"

"Nevermind." Summer shushed him. "The Riddler has a dirty mind."

Edward blinked. He did? Um...

And then he recovered nonchalantly. "Disregard all the glorified talk you've heard about police officers, kiddo. This sleazy donut dunker is the epitome of what's wrong in law enforcement."

And then Arthur Reeves whispered back unexpectedly: "Actually, YOU'RE the epitome of what's wrong in law enforcement. And moreover, he has no interest in or illusions about that deadly monster. You know very well that this girl worked in the park. You programmed her to be like this. As pissed off as I am that Jersey here is risking all of our lives to assuage his own guilt – he IS just trying to save her life."

Riddler rolled his eyes, "The sleazy politician defends the sleazy cop. How typically Gotham. All buddy-buddy with your anti-Batman campaign. Whatever." And then he turned to face the front, abruptly ending the conversation.

No one said anything after this. They all sat in silence.

But Bullock glanced at Reeves. And gave him a tough sort of a thank you nod. Kinda. They weren't exactly chummy.

Reeves got it, though. There was sort of an understanding there.

And then Tim turned to the knowledgeable Ally Knox. Ally loved answering questions, after all. The kid smirked, "So Ally, I'm assuming a booty call is when-"

"How old are you?" Summer covered his mouth immediately.

"Old enough to be a smart ass." Reeves snorted.

* * *

Arthur Reeves had inched across the floor for over 30 minutes... and then he'd put his back against the table and worked the ropes on his wrists on the hard, metal edge of it. It was quasi-sharp, he supposed. It was the only thing to try in the room! Unfortunately, another 30 minutes had passed and he was STILL working at it... His wrists were getting very sore and tired now.

The friction was crazy. It should be sparking a freaking FIRE by now. Why wasn't this working?

Summer watched sadly. They were all gagged in a small backroom. Batman had been on his way, so they'd been tossed aside for now. Perhaps to be used as hostages later. Who knew?

She had a sinking feeling that if Reeves got free, he'd just quickly make a break for it and leave them behind. It fit his cowardly, selfish personality. He looked out for himself above all else.

Ally was tied more tightly. He had tried to crawl around and had only ended up rolling around in a ball. He couldn't seem to flex anything in any direction. He was just bound too tightly into a bundle.

Nobody could stand. But at least Reeves could sorta scoot. Very, very slowly, though. Inch by inch.

Arthur had worked up a real sweat. He took a breather and looked at Summer. He wanted to smack her. She wasn't doing anything at all! Once again, she was just watching uselessly. He had a vague recollection of a tea party in which she'd stood back screaming at everyone else to fight. Even HE had taken up a chair, for goodness sakes, and he wasn't a fighter at all! He SUCKED... ERRR... She really burned him up sometimes... Did she have no will to live or what?

Now where the hell had THAT memory come from? A private little tea party in a garden? HUH?

Arthur scolded himself and started working his wrists again. He shouldn't waste time thinking aimlessly about random crap. They were in very real danger here. The Joker could come back to deal with them at any moment. The clown was totally unpredictable.

Whatever Joker had planned, their survival was unlikely if they didn't escape somehow...

Ally was on his back now. He looked miserable. He tried to scoot again and rolled onto his side. OY.

SNAP.

Arthur was so extremely shocked. He couldn't believe it! OH MY...

He pulled his hands out and immediately started to untie his feet... his knees ached...

And then he stretched slowly. It felt SO weird to be able to flex and move his muscles again. They'd been cramped up tight for ages in that position. They ached so badly.

He jumped to his feet. But too quickly. He was still too cramped up and sore and weak...

So he ended up falling right back down. His joints and the surrounding muscles were SO cramped...

Summer expected him to bail. She really wished Ally had gotten free instead somehow.

But surprisingly, Reeves crawled over to Ally and started untying the journalist.

But Knox pulled away and motioned aggressively to Summer Gleeson.

Arthur gave Ally an irritated look and then crawled over to Gleeson and began untying her instead.

Time was very short. The Joker could return at any moment!

Arthur left Summer to do her own feet as he hurried to finish untying Ally Knox.

And then the three of them stood. They were WOBBLY... and nervous...

The only way out was the door.

Knox flipped over the table and started unscrewing the metal legs. He took two and he gave one to Reeves and Gleeson. It was all they could possibly muster from this room.

Arthur hesitated, not wanting to open the door... scared of what was on the other side... This could spell death...

Annoyed, Knox stepped forward to take the risk. He opened the door quickly.

Joker spun around from his chair and looked surprised.

And then he punched Knox back into the room and instantly pulled out a hand gun.

Reeves and Gleeson immediately put down their chair legs. Gun. Right.

"Where did you think you were going?" Jack motioned to how their room only led to his. "And with CHAIR LEGS? I mean, REALLY, guys... COME ON..."

The clown punched Reeves just for the sake of it. Arthur hit his knees with a bloody nose. Knox was still down.

"You're lucky I don't waste the three of you right now. Boom, boom, boom. But I've got a bat infestation and I'm going to need all the hostages I can get. So just sit tight and play nice."

And he slammed the door on them and locked it. And then pulled some heavy crates in front of it, just in case. But really, if they broke out again, he'd shoot them. He was not dealing with this crap anymore!

He loved games, but now wasn't the time. Clock King was late, he was losing and he was in a PISSY mood...

* * *

Bullock slowly realized that Hatter hadn't killed him. He was still alive. And the dissection had stopped.

He could hear Crane and Tetch speaking quietly nearby.

So, it was just a matter of waiting to bleed to death... Coz nothing too vital had been removed...

Sleeping was better than thinking at this point. Then again, he had all eternity to sleep after this. Maybe he should use his last hours to think. But self-reflection wasn't something he'd ever cared for. It just made him feel like crap.

He found himself hoping that Harvey Two Face came back when all was said and done to shoot him. Put him out of his misery. That would be fitting. Dent would like that. An ending they'd both like, frankly.

But slowly, as the minutes passed, he didn't see the blood anymore. He didn't see the gaping opening. He began to question things. He wished he could touch his abdomen to be sure, but his hands were bound behind him...

And then Hatter's words actually began to make sense. And the pieces clicked together. _OH._

At some point he was flooded with gratitude. To God, to the Hatter, to whomever, whatever... But it was important to keep any such expressions off his face. He had to remain limp and lifeless...

"We've done it!" Jervis Tetch was suddenly overjoyed.

He excitedly hugged Crane, who looked unimpressed with the personal contact.

"Hmm..." Crane was checking all the monitors attached to Paige Monroe. "The fever is gone. Everything is gradually returning to normal. The immune system seems to be fighting off the virus now."

"So we give it to some of the other test subjects then?" Tetch looked optimistic.

"Very quickly. We haven't much time."

But as they turned to go, Paige had a violent spasm.

"Oh NOOO..." Jervis moaned, disappointed. "This isn't it after all."

Crane looked sceptically at Paige and then at the monitors. His expression emotionless, he began to prod her slowly and strategically...

She tried to move her arm and had a sharp leg spasm. As he tested her, her limbs continued to spasm unpredictably. If she tried to move her leg, an arm moved instead.

Bullock risked a peek. He really wanted to see what was wrong with Paige.

"Close your fist." Crane instructed the girl clearly.

Paige could not do this. She clearly tried and could not.

And then her whole body had a spasm. And then she had a desperate look of utter misery on her face.

"What's happened?" Hatter sounded so dismayed. "I was so very certain!"

"Relax. It's worked." Crane snorted. "She's just got brain damage from the fever."

The statement struck Bullock like a bolt of lightning.

Crane continued, "Her brain is getting signals crossed. Her motor skills are scrambled."

Tetch looked uncertain. "I thought that was just a myth. Fever brain damage, I mean."

Crane sighed, "A regular fever won't generally damage the brain. But a fever over 107.6 automatically starts damaging it. This girl had the maximum possible natural fever – 108. I saw it myself."

Hatter still looked uncertain. Watching Paige spasm made him extremely reluctant to try the shot himself.

"Come on." Crane hissed impatiently. "If we try a few more, you'll soon see!"

Harvey felt a pang of sadness at this. She'd probably never move normally again. There would be no more beautiful butterfly twists or corkscrews or anything like that out of Paige Monroe. The lightening roundhouses were finished now. She'd probably never walk again! He'd actually seen her do a 1080 degree aerial spin...

He didn't know the names of all the amazing moves she'd whip out... but MAN, she'd had the fire.

There was something tragic about it going this way.

He didn't even pause to wonder why he was so personally affected by the news.

Scarecrow and the Mad Hatter left the room quickly to fetch Gil Mason and some other test subjects.

The second they were gone, Bullock's fingers struggled with his sleeve. He still had his little piece of sharp metal. If he could just get it out of the lining of his sleeve without dropping it on the freaking ground... ya, if he dropped it – game over...

He was fumbling. He'd always been kinda clumsy, after all. He had big fingers!

Harvey knew he probably wouldn't get another chance. He had to HURRY. But if he dropped it...

There was a skilled balance necessary here that he really didn't actually possess... Oy!

_Come on, please... _

This was his third chance to escape. Was third time the charm? Or was it the strikeout?

He'd always hated tests. And this was a really big one.

* * *

Robin woke up with a splitting headache. The back of his skull was screaming in agony.

He groaned and rolled onto his back. He opened his eyes and saw bright stars for a second.

And then he realized he was in total darkness._ What the...?_

He was in a trunk. It took only an instant to understand this. He'd been in many, many, MANY trunks this year as Robin. Grayson had likely had a similar track record. Robins got tossed in trunks.

_Take 'em down to the Gotham City Bridge and see how well he flies... _

Hmm... the last thing Drake remembered was Clock King shrugging nonchalantly and then – CRACK!

Ugh. An ugly crack, for sure. He wished he could touch it. Feel for blood. It hurt.

Tim suddenly felt very alone. He hadn't seen his teammates – his family, he supposed – for a long time. He had NO IDEA what had happened to any of them. And he had zero guidance! He'd been searching for them unsuccessfully... and then that idiot pharaoh had captured him... and then the Coalition... and now he was in Clock King's trunk or something.

He wished he knew where Batman was. He felt disheartened and alone.

Then Tim felt the car breaking. He wondered where they were going. Who he was with.

One way or another... this was the big battle and he was at the mercy of his enemies right in the middle of it. _Super. Absolutely fantastic._

He quietly began to work his wrists out of the bonds. Ankles would be next. He was a known escape artist... The binds would be gone in seconds...

When they opened that trunk they were in for a surprise. He wouldn't go down without a fight.

* * *

Klarion walked down the fiery, chaotic streets as though in a blur... He couldn't hear anything anymore. He was in his own head, lost in thought. Sound and sight were a blur.

He was slowly building power with each and every step...

Unexpectedly, someone ran up right behind him. "Get this kid! Get this kid!"

The witch boy seemed to hear nothing. He kept walking. He was oblivious to the camera.

"Just LOOK at him! He's in total shock... a dark cloud over him... absolutely overwhelmed and in a total FOG..." Jack Ryder said melodramatically. "It will be absolutely PERFECT to show during the _shattered lives_ bit... Get him from the front! You've got to see how aimlessly he's walking. How shell shocked he is!"

The cameraman gave him a hard look of distaste, but Jack missed it completely.

"Get around in front of him!" Jack hissed, pointing. "Ya... the shattered lives segment..."

And then Jack said abruptly: "Should I interview him?"

"We should HELP him." The cameraman snorted.

Jack pulled out his microphone and rushed in front of Klarion. "Little boy... Hey! KID! ... Look at me..."

He started waving his hand obnoxiously in front of Klarion's face.

"KID..." He continued insensitively.

Klarion stopped walking. He still didn't blink. He just stared at the anchorman without emotion. It was absolutely chilling.

Jack cleared his throat and turned to the camera. "Are we rolling? OK. Good."

He turned back to the boy, "What's your name, son?"

No answer.

"The boy is too shocked and devastated to even SPEAK." Jack looked into the camera melodramatically.

And then back to the boy, "Please, lad, what's happened to you?"

Klarion turned to look directly at Jack Ryder. And for the first time, the newsman realized how creepy the boy was. He looked like a soulless possessed kid from a horror movie. What the hell?

The witch boy, without blinking, said indifferently: "You are a vain, self-absorbed fool who exploits human suffering."

The cameraman smiled behind the lens. _Good for you, kid._

Jack, however, was unnerved by the boy. He began to back away in fright...

But it was too late.

The witch boy touched his handsome face and said quietly: _"Turpis." _

Instantly, Ryder's skin – especially his face – began to transform. It began to swell and discolour. His nose became enormous and bumpy. His hair began to come out in patches like he had mange. Pox marks, blisters and warts began to form all over his flesh. One of his eyes became swollen shut.

The cameraman screamed and dropped the camera. It broke on the pavement with a crash.

Ryder took off down the street screaming in terror.

The cameraman stood frozen to the spot, petrified. And then adrenaline sent him sprinting for his life down the street. He was running for his life.

_"Subsisto."_ The witch boy held up his hand.

Involuntarily, the man was frozen in place. He turned around very, very slowly. Frightened.

"What is your name?" Klarion asked with a dark coldness.

"Jace." The man swallowed nervously. "Jace Dryden."

Klarion's expression remained unchanged. He commanded: "You will take me to your car and drive me to get some ice cream. Then we shall go downtown. Do you understand?"

Jace nodded and then turned slowly and started leading the way to his old beater. They'd been driving around getting shots of horror and destruction instead of fleeing. He really wished they'd fled now.

With each step, he got a little braver. He was terrified of this demon kid. But he knew the kid had to be broken the news at some point, better sooner than later...

"Actually, the power's been out for a long time now. I don't know-"

"I will have ice cream or I'll turn you into a caterpillar and stomp you." Klarion said simply. VERY simply.

"You're the boss, kiddo." Jace tried to smile. But he was more nervous than ever now.

"Don't EVER call me KIDDO." Klarion's voice changed into a deep, demonic growl. His eyes glowed.

"Anything you say." Jace's voice came out funny. He couldn't mask his fright anymore.

Klarion reverted to his normal state and smiled darkly. "Once you learn your place I won't have to be so nasty. We may even have some fun together, you and I."

Jace seriously, seriously doubted it.

* * *

Harley sprang out unexpectedly, all sorts of blasters going off. She did several cartwheels and landed, sporting his enormous mallet. "Let's dance, Bat clan!"

But she found HERSELF doing all the dodging. There were three of them, after all. She only had so many gadgets and parlour tricks to spring at them.

"Three against one. Hardly seems fair." She pretended to pout.

And then her mallet burst open. A big boxing glove on a long spring punched Nightwing brutally in the face. His knees buckled and he hit the ground, blood pouring out of his nose.

Quinn dodged and dodged. And trying hard not to sound out of breath she said cheerfully: "Thanks for beating on Bolton for me. Prick deserves every punch, I'm telling ya."

Suddenly a spotlight turned on...

A little chair was turned away from them. It had explosives all around the base.

"I've arranged a little surprise, actually." Joker smiled from the screen above. "I know how very, very fond Batman is of little Kimmy Ventrix. How much history they have. I figured he'd love to see her again. Especially during these dark times. I'm sure it's just the pick-me-up he needs, am I right?"

Batman looked horrified.

He had saved little Kimberly from her crazy father, who'd tried the invisible man bit before winding up back in Stonegate for another long stretch.

Kimmy's life had not been at all easy thus far and the Dark Knight had developed a soft spot for her. Many nights he'd come to check on her at bedtime... actually talked to her quietly at the window... Ya, he definitely had a HUGE soft spot for Kimmy...

His heart ached as the chair slowly turned around on a revolving stage.

There were explosives all around the base of the chair...

And then everyone, especially Joker, was absolutely SHOCKED.

The chair was empty. Kimmy was not there as planned.

Batman looked at the screen above and caught the look of SHOCK on Joker's face. This was not part of the plan. Something had gone wrong. Kimmy was missing.

And then Jack glared dangerously at Harley Quinn. She tried to look just as shocked as he was. To pretend she had no idea how this had happened. But she knew it was useless. He was going to blame her either way. She was in deep, deep trouble now.

Fortunately, for Joker and Harley... The door burst open.

In strutted a fashionable Clock King as confident as you please.

He twirled his cane showily and announced, "Looks like I'm right on time!"

"You're 40 minutes late!" Joker barked furiously.

Clock King's smile faltered for a moment. And his eye seemed to twitch.

And then he recovered and smiled his very debonair smile. "One is only late if the request was actually reasonable. Thank you very much. Without communication or transportation-"

"ATTACK BATMAN!" Joker ordered, exasperated.

Feeling the pull of the mind control, Clock King sprang forward. He was twirling explosive pocket watches on strings – a trademark of his. He started whipping them quickly at his enemies. The three Bats started dodging every which way to avoid being killed by all the explosions.

Harley was impressed and hoped he had an unlimited number of THOSE babies!

"Tag team!" She flipped gleefully towards Temple.

She held up her fist in a friendly manner, giving him props.

And then they started towards the Bats together.

Joker smirked from the screen above. If these two failed, he always had Clock King's little surprise. And that was fool proof. There was nothing the Bat clan could do against THAT!

* * *

Jack Ryder stopped running. He was panting.

After his initial panic had worn off... his bruised ego came alive and he was PISSED OFF...

He pulled off his jacket and his shirt crossly.

"NO – DAMN – WAY." He snarled.

If he had to choose between two freaks, he knew which one was superior. The one with lightening speed and super human strength and senses... Neither was pretty... But one was clearly better!

And so he pulled off the patch on his bicep.

Slowly, he began to transform. His skin turned yellow and his hair turned green. He grew in size.

He became The Creeper.

* * *

Klarion was licking an ice cream cone and looking around a novelty shop. The ice cream was really soft, but it tasted great. He loved ice cream. Jace had scooped it for him.

The boy stopped at a hat rack and a mirror and began trying on various silly hats... He smirked with each hat... And sometimes he even chuckled. Jace was slowly realizing that despite seeming extremely mature in a few ways, the kid was really just a freaking kid. He wanted to eat ice cream and try on silly hats!

One particularly amusing hat made the boy laugh out loud. He had a very disturbing laugh. Too loud and unnatural. Something was WRONG with this kid.

Jace watched the boy nervously. Praying the kid couldn't hear his thoughts. The cameraman was barely breathing. He was holding his own ice cream cone. The boy had asked for a second cone, only to surprisingly offer it to his chaperone. He'd held it out silently in offering. Jace had declined, but then the boy had crossly ordered him to take it or be turned into a tree. _Lovely child. Really. OY._

Jace let the cone melt. He had no appetite. Too nervous. This kid was hella psycho.

And yet, the boy actively tried to SHARE sometimes. It was weird...

The boy put on a police officer's cap. And he turned and looked in the mirror. And then suddenly, unexpectedly, his smile faded away. For a moment, he looked uncertain, even a little sad.

Jace was very surprised by this strange flash of feeling. The hat had clearly sparked it. What...?

The boy took off the hat and looked at it. And then his dark, arrogant smirk returned and he flopped it back on his head. He smiled proudly, "This one is PERFECT. It's mine now."

"You will wear this." The boy demanded, handing Jace a bucket hat. "It's very summery. Like vacation. I always wanted to go on vacation!"

Jace put it on without hesitation. Klarion smirked at him.

And then they left the store casually. The boy was walking comfortably like they were father and son on a sunny afternoon. Like it wasn't the cold, dark wee hours during a deadly crisis!

"I want a different car." The boy announced.

The cameraman said nothing. He had no idea how to comply with those instructions.

"That one's good." Klarion motioned to a red Ferrari.

And then he said _"Prolabor"... _The car rolled over to them. The boy's powers continued to impress Jace. "Drive this." The witch boy commanded.

Jace climbed into the driver's seat. There were no keys. The engine was not on.

_"Agito..."_ And it rolled on its own by magic. (It was likely broken down. The front was kinda banged up.)

_This kid doesn't need me._ Jace realized. _He just wants the company. Some kind of adult around._

"You're not eating your ice cream." Klarion frowned negatively from the passenger seat.

"It's delicious." Jace tried to smile. But it had melted all over his hand. He hadn't had any, clearly.

"You're rather boring, Jace." The boy snorted, looking out the window. "Perhaps I'll trade you in for one of the costumed freaks..." And then Klarion looked thoughtful, "I do need to practice my stone spell. With that hat, you'd make an amusing statue."

Jace felt panicky. The muscles in his hand went limp and he dropped the ice cream cone all over.

Klarion muttered darkly, "That's why I was never allowed ice cream in the car."

They drove along in silence for a while. Jace realized his hands were very hot and sweaty on the steering wheel. He wasn't sure how long he could take this. The kid could kill him at any moment on a WHIM.

The boy twirled his hands around each other and his kitty appeared in his arms.

"That's a lovely cat." Jace tried to be nice. He managed to keep the nerves from his voice.

Klarion didn't answer. He just continued to look out the window.

And then he abruptly said, "Next right."

Jace turned right and then thought of something... He wasn't sure if it was a good idea... But he needed to win this kid over. Become buddies or something. Stockholm syndrome.

"Do you wanna drive?" He smiled at the witch boy. "It's fun."

The kid could clearly control the car, after all. And he knew where he was going. It would be ok.

Klarion turned and looked at him emotionlessly for a moment.

And then he said indifferently, "No. I want you to drive."

Jace risked a glance at the kid. He was stroking his cat and staring at the window. He was still wearing that police officer's cap.

The boy was perfectly capable. He just wanted the semblance of normality or something. The presence of an adult. A caretaker. The kid didn't need one physically, but he seemed to need one emotionally. Which was odd, because the kid was emotionless most of the time. And the rest of the time he tended to be cruel and heartless and... well, EVIL...

Jace realized he couldn't explain this kid. Probably no one could. He was just really messed up.

_Maybe he lost his family in this crisis... _Jace continued to analyze. He had NO IDEA... The tabby cat licked her lips.

* * *

Bullock still didn't have the little tool. He started to wriggle more aggressively. He had to risk dropping the damn thing. You had to play to win, right? He was running out of time.

The tool fell from his sleeve. He felt it slip and he snagged for it...and then he fumbled it... and then snagged it again as hard as he could...but then fumbled it again...

He heard it jingle on the ground.

_DAMN IT. _

He sucked. He really, really sucked. His clumsy ass, big hands. ERRR... Now he was cooked...

And then he heard footsteps coming. They were back already? The detective slumped, closed his eyes and had to just hope for the best now. But he had a feeling his crazy luck wouldn't continue. Nobody could escape death THAT many times in one night.

"This is ridiculous!" Scarecrow was snarling. "Where the hell did he leave the forklift?"

Oh right. They'd had to put huge, heavy skids in front of the freezer door to contain the prisoners. The first time Bullock had escaped, he'd broken the door. So they'd needed to barricade it with very heavy items. Things four or five adults couldn't move from inside. Things that required a forklift.

Only now Two Face had left the forklift somewhere. Not that Tetch and Crane really knew how to drive a forklift. But they'd figure it out, right? They were geniuses, after all.

"I'll go ask Dent. I can't believe we can't find it." Crane muttered.

"We're as disorganized as the Coalition." Tetch sighed uneasily.

"We don't have time for all these little oversights." The Scarecrow was frustrated. And he left the room.

Bullock knew he was alone with Tetch again. But he wasn't stupid enough to look at the guy. Tetch might start to get nervous and pop him, after all. Leaving an enemy alive was a stupid move. The Hatter had to see that.

But Tetch wasn't paying attention to Harvey. He was watching Monroe very sadly.

Paige Monroe was still having spasms on the counter. She had a constant tremble.

Tears were rolling down her cheeks silently. She couldn't really do anything. Every time she tried to move, the wrong thing moved. Or there was a bad spasm.

She was realizing her predicament and breaking down. Her spirit seemed broken.

Harvey silently tried to get his fingers to the ground... It hurt like HELL... Could he reach?

His fingers just lightly brushed the surface of the metal tool. Ok... he needed to reach farther. No matter how much it hurt, he needed more...

And then he heard Crane coming back. The Scarecrow muttered, "I finally got an answer out of him. I suspect he was deliberately hiding it. He doesn't trust us at all."

"We don't trust him." Tetch said absently, watching Paige sadly.

Crane grumbled under his breath and then noticed Hatter looking so forlorn.

"What's wrong NOW?" Scarecrow rolled his eyes impatiently.

Tetch risked a glance at him, looking submissive and sad. "This girl. She's suffering horribly. Can't we just end it?"

Crane sighed, hanging his head. "Oh, Jervis... You wear your heart on your sleeve, my friend... Sometimes I think you're not cut out of this work..."

"It's my fault, Jon. I invented this virus."

Crane stepped towards the vials and looked at what remained there. He sighed loudly and then started silently filling another syringe.

"I'm just doing this for you." Crane glanced at him, unimpressed.

"What is it?" Tetch sounded uncertain.

"It will quickly stop her heart." Crane answered indifferently.

Every muscle in Bullock's body rearranged in surprise. It was like another bolt of lightning!

He felt that bird flapping in his ears again. That panic.

* * *

The dark haired viper took the stand with a very confident smirk. She got seductively _comfortable_ in her seat and then turned to the king expectantly. The queen glared at her aggressively from his other side. The pretty young rendition of the duchess was unfazed. She just smiled at the queen cockily, always testing the limit in their relationship.

The king cleared his throat and spoke formerly, "Your cook escaped during questioning. Do _you _know anything about the stolen tarts?"

"Actually…" The duchess looked at the Gothamites. "I witnessed the theft."

"Uh oh." Ally Knox said what they were all thinking.

"REALLY?" The king looked impressed. "And what did you see?"

_No way. _Edward had finally had enough. _I designed you to kill other people, not __**me**__. _

And then he stood up and said, "I have something to say."

The Queen responded, "That's a striking green suit, but HOW DARE YOU interrupt!"

Edward smiled self-confidently. It was all about pretending you were in the right in this fantasy. As the others had discovered inadvertently, the tenor of any given situation could be shifted if you were assertive enough. There was room for manipulation.

He boldly said, "Need I remind everyone of the opening statement?"

And then he posed theatrically and changed his tone of voice to present the famous rhyme with some style: "The Queen of Hearts she baked some tarts all on a summer's day. The Knave of Hearts he stole those tarts and took them clean away."

The courtroom exploded into thunderous applause. The dodo whistled loudly.

Edward bowed exaggeratedly. Beside him, Ivy couldn't hide that she was impressed.

"Excellent presentation. Just glorious." The Mouse stood and spoke very seriously.

The Gothamites, further back, blinked in absolute shock.

The clapping finally died down and Edward sat back in his seat smugly.

"Well, you can't argue with that." The queen announced.

"Actually, I haven't given my testimony." The duchess was irritated.

"That's alright. We don't care for you much anyway." The queen barely looked at her.

The duchess looked deadly angry. But she managed to swallow her rage and calmly say, "But it wasn't the Knave. It was-"

"Nonsense." Edward interrupted again self-assuredly. "The knave is guilty by definition. Knave – noun, singular. An unprincipled, untrustworthy or dishonest person."

"You can't argue with that either." The queen said firmly.

"Another very sound argument." The king nodded decidedly. "Most logical."

_Ummm…_ Arthur Reeves raised an eyebrow at the Riddler's obvious fallacies. Nothing Ed had said so far actually proved anything. It was all BS!

"But-" The duchess started to protest again. She also saw the BS for what it was.

"Silence!" The queen barked at her.

"What happened to her accent?" Arthur realized suddenly. "The park girl had a thick foreign accent."

Knox was still hung up on definitions. "It's also just another word for JACK in cards." He scratched his head. "I feel sorry for the Jack of Hearts. He's up the creek without a-"

"Would you like to take his place?" Tim Drake shushed him impatiently.

"Shut up, Ally." Summer agreed quietly. "I don't want to die, ok? He's not even REAL."

"But, your majesty-" The duchess tried again futilely.

"You're dismissed." The king informed her with a carelessness that was offensive.

The duchess' mouth hung open and then she turned and looked at the Riddler. He was smiling that handsome, arrogant smile of his. His look said a very dark: _I win._

But he was actually thinking: _Nobody outwits the Riddler._

The duchess gave Eddie that dark, hateful, venomous death glare she'd given Bullock when he'd defeated her at the croquet match. The woman did not lose well.

She was on the verge of exploding into one of her raging meltdowns. The look on her face indicated she was an instant from going absolutely ballistic.

She looked back further into the crowd. If she saw that stupid cop smirking at her, that would be just IT. She would just SNAP-

But the duchess was surprised. The detective was giving her an anxious look. His eyes were actually beseeching. The expression said: _Don't do anything stupid, lady. You'll die._

She stared at him… hanging on the verge of a tantrum…

For a second she was balancing on the edge of a blade. It could go either way.

The detective knew she was on the brink, teetering between death and salvation. But he wasn't going to say a word. He should probably leap up and play the hero… but he wasn't going to… It was up to her now. This wasn't his fault anymore. It no longer involved him. He'd tried to save her already, damn it.

And yet, he was anxious… As they stared at each other, he really tried to reach her.

"Take your seat!" The queen boomed at her angrily. Ready to sentence her to death again.

It took all of the duchess' self control to not to fly into a rage. Instead, she smiled a very fake smile and said, "Of course, your majesty."

And then she stood up gracefully and left the stand. Slowly she made her way down the aisle… Her eyes flashed menacingly…

And then Arthur Reeves realized what was happening and donned a look of terror. "Push to the end! Push to the end!" He whispered heatedly.

And the Gothamites all pushed hard towards the aisle, to the point where Bullock was practically _in_ the aisle. There was no way she could sit with them.

Despite there clearly being no room in the row, the duchess naturally gravitated towards them and tried to sit with them anyway.

"Try another row!" Summer strained, pushing with all her might and getting squashed.

The duchess was as strong as she was scary, though. She was climbing onto the detective and forcing her way in. They struggled with all their strength to keep her out. And she tore at Bullock like an angry cat.

"Push her, damn it!" Arthur hissed. "JERSEY, don't let her in!"

Riddler laughed out loud from his safe seat. This was too perfect.

"ORDER!" The king slammed his mallet in irritation.

They weren't listening. The struggle continued regardless. Desperately.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?" The queen roared impatiently.

Everyone froze and looked at her, once again all dishevelled and mid-action.

The duchess – an instant before a deadly ball of fury yanking Harvey by the coat – now answered very calmly, "I'm trying to take a seat."

"Let her sit down!" The queen barked.

Arthur piped up, "Actually, there's no-"

"LET HER SIT DOWN!" The queen bellowed.

And that ended that. The Gotham crew relaxed their death grip on the row and sat up normally. The duchess squished onto the end of the row with Harvey. Things were now more crowded then ever. She was pretty much on top of him.

The detective desperately stretched back to get away from her, squishing Summer Gleeson in the process. Summer did not appreciate – nor could she handle – being crushed by the big guy. "STOP IT." She whispered fiercely.

He decidedly ignored her and continued to push away from the dangerous duchess.

But it didn't matter. The duchess just continued to move along with him. It didn't matter how much space he gave her, she deliberately continued to curl up into him _mockingly_. It was insulting and awkward.

That sinking feeling returned. Like being trapped with a rattlesnake ready to spring.

He glanced down the row, but the others weren't looking. What? They were going to leave him to this fate?

And then he felt…

"UM – guys!" Harvey sprang up in his seat as the duchess stuck her hands under his trench coat again. "GUYS."

Those soft fingers could sprout claws all too easily. She was a freaking monster!

"Don't make a scene." Arthur whispered. And then he passed Summer his lighter, instructing: "Don't let him get entranced."

"Can I do the burning?" Tim asked hopefully.

"GUYS!" Bullock snapped, grabbing the duchess' hands from under his clothes.

"Sorry, buddy." Arthur shrugged helplessly. "Someone's gotta be sacrificed to the beast."

"And I was JUST starting to like you…" the detective muttered, eyes narrowing.

At the front of the courtroom, the king and queen were deciding how to proceed…

The Knave of Hearts looked terribly frightened now.

The queen felt that the case was closed. The Riddler's arguments had been very good, after all. Very logical.

The king, however, had one more witness he wished to call. He did so love to play court.

And so the queen sighed, "Very well. ONE more witness."

The king beamed and then said formerly: "I shall call the final witness…"

And then he gestured for the audience to respond appropriately.

They took the hint and gasped melodramatically.

After a deliberate pause, the king said: "The Mad Hatter."

Once more, the back door slammed open loudly.

A confused and somewhat nervous Jervis Tetch was _carried_ into the courtroom by guards in an abrupt manner. He was still sipping his tea and holding a slice of buttered bread.

"Now we're ALL here." Tim whispered.

Ally Knox gave a dropping whistle. "This should be good."

* * *

_**A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are greatly appreciated. ^^ (BTW, the spells are Latin...) **_


	16. Surprises Revealed, The Trial Ends

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 16: Surprises Revealed, The Trial Ends **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any Batman or Wonderland stuff. **

**A/N: Sorry these chapters take forever. I apologize for any typos. I hope this is ok. I need to just post it. ACK! Let me know what you think... Reviews are always really appreciated!**

* * *

Harley Quinn was an excellent gymnast. She kept flipping and tumbling and kicking and punching... And every once and while she'd throw in a deadly gag item that they'd be caught off guard by...

Clock King continued to twirl and flick explosive pocket watches...

"Can't you freeze time or something?" Harley landed beside him, panting audibly.

"Tried that once. Didn't go so well." Temple hurled another round of watches.

"Well, don't you have ANY super powers!" Harley was horrified.

"Who do you think I am? A comic book character?" Temple was irritated.

A well aimed batarang struck Temple's hand and send his twirling watches off course – JUST missing Harley and blowing a huge hole in the wall behind her!

"Watch it, bud!" Harley barked angrily.

Temple clutched his wrist, grimacing in pain.

And then he realized Batman was coming towards him slowly and confidently.

"Oh, screw this." He said, unexpectedly pulling out a revolver and firing rapidly.

The Bats all took cover immediately, dodging the flying bullets.

"Um..." Harley blinked. "That's surprisingly graceless of you."

"One can't always be the debonair gentleman." Temple reloaded his gun.

And then a batarang knocked the gun out of his hand. Hurting the same wrist all over again. Ouch!

"You just HAD to distract me." Temple turned to her, sighing tiredly.

Harley Quinn looked apologetic.

Joker came on the screen, "Who calls himself KING and then SUCKS?"

Temple looked irritated. But the Bats were coming again, so he didn't really have a chance to respond...

Harley, who'd been waiting for them to come forward, whipped out several exploding balls. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

But when the smoke cleared, the Bats were still coming...

"UH..." Harley started to back up. She was apparently out of tricks.

"Use your CANE or something!" Joker shouted at Clock King.

"That's RIDDLER." Fugate snapped, backing up as well.

"Tsk, tsk." Joker sighed. "Time for my little surprise, I guess..."

And then the main doors behind Quinn and Fugate were kicked open.

Three aggressive figures entered quickly.

Batgirl reacted first – "NO!"

Batman and Nightwing's eyes widened.

Commission Gordon, Officer Montoya and Mayor Hill rushed forward.

Joker cackled, "I've ordered them to fight you to the DEATH. So good luck not hurting your innocent little friends!"

* * *

The Mad Hatter was carried to the front of the court, clearly confused. He had a tea cup in one hand and a piece of buttered bread in the other.

He was set on the stand... He looked so flustered and nervous...

"Apologies, your grace, for bringing these in." He managed. "I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was called for."

"Clearly." The king snorted sceptically.

"Tea? At this hour? When did you begin?" The queen was incredulous.

"Oh..." The Hatter looked up, thinking. "I'd say the fifteenth of March."

"No, the fourteenth." The March Hare called out unexpectedly from the crowd.

"The sixteenth!" The Riddler shouted just to be troublesome.

"Write down all three dates." The king ordered the jury. "Just in case."

"At any rate, tea was MONTHS ago." The queen boomed.

"There's always time for tea." The March Hare declared and was ignored.

"Remove your hat!" The king ordered Jervis crossly.

"It isn't mine." The Hatter said nervously.

"STOLEN!" The king accused startlingly.

"No, no." The Hatter fretted. "I'm a Hatter. It's for sale!"

"I'll buy it!" Ally Knox piped up unexpectedly.

"Order, order!" The king slammed his mallet. "No business is to be conducted in court."

"We'll talk later." Knox whispered loudly and gestured back and forth between he and Hatter.

Arthur rolled his eyes and then tiredly rubbed his face...

And then he noticed the duchess' dress slipping off her smooth, shapely leg – which she was prominently displaying for Harvey Bullock, who was trying his damndest to count the ceiling tiles.

Using the tip of her pretty bare foot, the duchess turned Harvey's face towards her and smirked at him darkly. She was on top of him, her hands under his clothes.

"Do you mind?" Arthur snapped at her irritably. This was getting ridiculous!

And then she unexpectedly slashed him across the face. Blood flashed.

"He needed that." The Riddler turned around casually. "He blathers entirely too much."

Arthur touched his slashed cheek gingerly. He wanted to ask Summer for a mirror, but he knew she didn't have one. He was worried he'd have a face scar now. Deep down he knew he wasn't as pretty as he played it.

Meanwhile, the duchess had Harvey by the tie and was pulling him in closer and closer. He was leaning back, trying to resist... turning his face away...

"AWW!" Poison Ivy smirked unkindly. "They're such a cute couple."

At the front, the queen was going through a list of singers from her last concert. The Hatter watched her nervously, realizing she probably recognized him from a previous time when he'd upset her. It was making him exceedingly anxious!

"Present your evidence." The king ordered formally.

The Hatter was too nervous to really speak, though. He ended up biting his tea cup instead of his buttered bread!

Riddler laughed at this and turned to Ivy. "Nothing like a Wonderland interrogation to make the billionaire brats and crazy Hatters in my life come unwound."

Tim Drake heard this and was ticked. "I wasn't THAT nervous!" He lied.

"Did you hear something?" Ed smiled at Ivy. "Something REALLY annoying? Like a loud, squawking bird flying into a window over and over?"

Meanwhile – "Present your evidence." The king repeated severely.

"I'm sorry, your grace. I'm nervous." The Hatter tried to clear his throat.

"Speak or you'll be executed! Whether you're nervous or not." The King snapped.

This death threat only made the Mad Hatter all the more nervous, though.

"Please, sire, I'm just a poor man..." The Hatter managed anxiously. "It all began a few weeks back when we were having tea..."

"That narrows it down." Tim muttered. "They're ALWAYS having tea."

Jervis continued, "We were running low on butter and the tea was twinkling."

The king was confused. "The tea was WHAT?"

"Twinkling." The Hatter repeated. "It began with the tea-"

"Of course, twinkling begins with T! I can spell, damn it." The king snapped impatiently. "Get to the point!"

"Just have him killed." The queen sighed tiredly without looking up from her reading.

Hatter gulped nervously. "...Well... then the March Hare said-"

"Oh no I didn't!" The Hare denied quickly. Not wanting to be implicated.

"He denies it. Strike it from the record." The king ordered the jury.

"Coz that's justice." Arthur Reeves grumbled.

"Well... um..." The Hatter fumbled. "In that case, the Dormouse said..."

He paused to make sure the dormouse was really gone and couldn't defend itself. And then he continued, "So then I cut some more bread-"

"What'd the dormouse say?" The Riddler insisted, smirking troublesomely.

"Oh... well..." The Hatter stumbled. "That I don't remember."

All the while, the Mad Hatter was nervously watching the Queen go through the list of singers from that horrible concert. His name was on that list. He was expecting her to suddenly place him as a former annoyance and have him put to death.

He couldn't concentrate. He just wanted out of here!

Tim turned to Summer, "I actually feel sorry for Hatter. I've been there!"

"You MUST remember." The king barked. "Or you'll be executed."

"Please, your majesty, I'm just a poor man!" The Hatter said anxiously.

"You're a poor SPEAKER." The king said angrily. "I've had enough!"

* * *

"A toddler couldn't fit through that vent." Summer was very sceptical.

Arthur glared at her. "I just want up there to check it out, ok?"

"Here." Knox quickly started sliding crates over, positioning them under the vent. "These will hold your weight... But... hm... As slim as Miss. Gleeson is, I doubt her hips or shoulders can clear through there."

"He wouldn't overlook a vent we could escape from." Summer hissed.

"UM..." Knox's eyes widened in shock.

He'd moved a box only to discover a huge grate at ground level hidden behind all the crates.

"You were saying." Reeves smiled, clearly relieved.

"Don't count your chickens, Artie." Knox said simply, kneeling down before the large grate. "We don't have any tools to remove this... AND we have no idea what we're going to find on the other side... I seriously doubt-"

Arthur handed him the tiny jackknife he used as a letter opener.

"Fingers crossed." Knox started quietly working at the grate.

"Hurry. He could check on us at any time. He knows we're loose in here." Summer said anxiously. "If he catches us-"

"SHHH..." Arthur knelt beside Ally, trying to peer through the grate.

"Easy now, rose petal." Knox said seriously, intensely focused on removing the first screw.

It popped out and Arthur caught it to stop it from making any noise.

Knox immediately started the next screw...

"Please work out..." Reeves grabbed his messy dark hair.

* * *

They drove in silence. The emotionless little witch boy was still staring out the passenger window, absently stroking his little tabby cat. He didn't bat an eye at all the horrific devastation they saw street after street. Blood and fire and destruction were around every turn – many roads were blocked or impassable... And yet this child was totally unfazed by all of it...

Any normal child would be crying right now. Would be expecting to DIE...

Hell, many adults were reacting that way, it seemed. This was a nightmare.

Nevertheless, Jace Dryden's pulse gradually slowed and his hands stopped sweating. He was adapting.

Did he expect this evil kid to turn him into a triceratops? Absolutely. But that didn't mean he wasn't adjusting to said dynamic.

Jace continued to try to get them downtown. And Klarion continued to stare out the window lifelessly...

The radio unexpectedly turned on all by itself. Klarion's doing.

STATIC.

"Where's the music?" The boy demanded rudely. "I want music."

"There's no radio or tv or anything anymore. The crisis-"

"SILENCE!" The boy snapped with an unexpected ferocity.

Jace realized his lips were _sealed shut_. He couldn't open his mouth! He instinctively grabbed at his face. _Oh my GOD!_

_"Carmen."_ Klarion commanded the radio coldly without looking at it.

And sure enough, the radio began to play some popular dance music:

_She got it, pop it, lock it, drop it, that birthday cake  
Got a candle, need to blow that crazy flame away  
Take my red, black card and my jewellery..._

Jace was still grabbing at his mouth, his eyes getting wet and desperate. He was primarily a mouth breather so this was disastrous!

He was trying not to fly into a full blown panic... which would suffocate him...

_Somebody call 911  
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor  
Whoa! _

Klarion sighed. "I don't really know any music or I'd pick something else..."

Jace willed himself to relax. Panicking would only suffocate him.

_Fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor..._

Enough time passed for Jace to realize the boy wasn't going to undo the spell.

* * *

The mock turtle had unexpectedly started up... much to Ally Knox's delight. The journalist sat up brightly in his seat, soaking in his favourite song.

"BEAUUUUUUTIFUL soup of the E-e-evening! Beautiful, beautiful soup!"

"Ed, WHY?" Poison Ivy demanded, covering her ears.

The Riddler's ears were also covered. "When I designed this I didn't expect to be in here suffering along with you all." He snapped irritably.

Arthur Reeves was burying his head between his knees. He hated the Mock Turtle the way Tim Drake hated the Mouse. This was bad news. If it didn't stop soon, he was going to go _crazy._

"Silence that turtle!" The queen shouted crossly, looking up from her list.

Meanwhile, Bullock was fighting his own battle – of sorts. The duchess' fingers were running through his hair. He kept a hard look on his face and refused to acknowledge how good it felt... but scalp massages were downright awesome...

"Stay awake." Summer nudged him nervously.

Harvey realized he was dozing off and needed to snap out of it.

He felt lips tickling his ear lobe and snapped up in his seat, realizing what was happening to him. Ack!

He looked down the row to Arthur and Ally. "Care to switch for a bit? My resistance is really wearing down here..."

There were clearly no takers. The whole thing was so awkward.

She loosened his collar and starting running her finger along the smooth curve that connected his neck and his shoulder.

He shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "UM, Summer... let's switch... I doubt she'll play it gay."

Summer looked frightened. "No way! I don't even wanna imagine what tactic she'll try with me. You're doing just fine, Harv. Just picture yourself in an ice cold shower."

Harvey raised an eyebrow. "Ya. Remind me never to ask you for advice again."

Summer looked affronted.

And then he realized for the first time how ticklish he was! He sprang in his seat and his voice caught in his throat. He finally managed to tell Summer, "I'm actually really uncomfortable! We-"

"Hmm..." The duchess traced that curve at the base of his neck. "You've got a scar here..."

"I've got lots of scars, lady." He pulled away crossly. "Surviving fifteen years in the GCPD is no stroll through the pumpkin patch."

This resonated with Tim. He knew how truthful that statement was. Most Gotham cops didn't survive nearly as long as Bullock had without playing both sides of the fence. The good died very young in the GCPD. It was an ugly town.

"Pumpkin patch?" Edward turned to Ivy, looking confused. "That's not relaxing or picturesque. That's the best his imagination can muster? I would have said _cherry orchard_ or something..."

"... no glide through the water lilies...?" Ivy suggested, smirking.

"Precisely. Some people just lack... well...They LACK." Eddie looked annoyed.

The duchess touched Harvey's face. "Your shadow's showing." She whispered in his ear, kissing his stubbly cheek. Enough time had passed that he had a little stubble growing.

OK. Enough. Harvey stood up and tried to exit the row. Surely people were allowed to use the restroom around here, right? Right?

But the duchess wasn't letting him out. And Summer wasn't letting him out. There was an awkward moment of struggle. And they were all trying to be SILENT about it.

Arthur looked frightened. Like he was watching a suicide in progress. And he kinda was!

The queen looked up and noticed a standing Harvey being yanked around: "What are you doing?" She barked angrily.

"Bathroom break, your grace." He said simply, still struggling his way out.

"There will be no breaking of bathrooms." The king ordered firmly.

"But, your honour-" Harvey started, as though he was angry with the Mayor.

"Sit down and shut up or you'll be killed!" The queen boomed at him.

Harvey looked SO angry. There was clearly a volcanic, crazy rage bottled just below the surface. He stood there frozen in shock and humiliation. Few people talked to him that way without a broken JAW...

Poison Ivy was laughing. The look on the detective's face was PRICELESS.

This only enraged Harvey more. He was only able to stand so much public humiliation. This was really pushing his angry, old fashioned tough guy pride to the limit... He wanted to smash something...

But he had enough sense to steady himself and sit down. Dying wouldn't help.

He realized he was forming a fist so hard his palm was bleeding from his finger nails. Ouch. Why did he always have to play the fool? Comic relief for bitches like Poison Ivy?

_Ivy laughed, "Well, well, well... If it isn't Detective Bullock... Always several steps behind everyone else in this town..."_

Arthur Reeves was holding his breath, waiting for the inevitable Bullock meltdown. He didn't want to watch this.

The duchess put Harvey's fedora and smiled uinkindly, "Bad ass? Try _fat ass_."

Harvey, using every ounce of will power he had, turned away to face the front.

But the caterpillar unexpectedly turned around in front of him. "Keep your temper." He said in that annoying voice of his.

And that very nearly pushed Harvey over the edge all over again. He was an instant from flying into a violent rage.

They were trying to provoke him to _kill him_... He had to remind himself of this!

Summer saw him hanging in the balance, ready to snap, and tried to distract him. To reassure him. "We're almost out of here." She spoke quickly. "This is the last witness."

"Go to your happy place." Ally Knox added, chipper.

Harvey had to close his eyes to avoid exploding at the happy twit. (He found himself resorting to all that anger management the department had forced him to take.)

"You aren't helping." Reeves hissed at Knox. "You enrage people."

"Just crabby, hateful, loner, jerk types." Ally shrugged innocently. "You know, like you and Bull-"

"Shut him up." Summer said quickly, placing a hand on Bullock.

"Laugh this whole thing off, buddy." Tim assured the detective. "It's nothing, right? Just stay cool. If you have one of your meltdowns you're as good as dead..."

"We'll all be in trouble." Summer agreed. "Just a few more minutes..."

"It's deliberately pushing all the right pushing buttons. It knows exactly how." Arthur told him firmly. "Hang in there."

Bullock needed nicotine and booze... Between the cat and the bitch and the talking animals... He needed to drink himself blind and deaf...

The duchess, still wearing his fedora mockingly, smirked: "You know... if you lose your job it won't be because of your recklessness, laziness or incompetence... It'll be that nasty temper."

* * *

"Well?" Ally Knox stuck his head into the chute and called up.

"I'll let ya know, ok?" Arthur hissed furiously. He was struggling his way up.

Reeves was shimmying slowly up the ventilation shaft they'd opened. It was exhausting and tricky and he didn't want to slip down and have to start all over! Or fall and hurt himself, actually.

The walls were sharp. Ouch! ERR... He was cutting himself and RUINING a $1000 suit. He literally went hungry at home – empty cupboard and fridge – to cover the wardrobe necessary for his career. Damn it.

Needless to say, all the above considered, he was getting PISSED OFF. Knox and Gleeson needed to just **shut up **for a minute.

Ally sighed, "You're like the Grinch shimmying up the chimney, Artie. And you've got the grouchy, killjoy, shrivelled little heart thing down to an art."

"SHH!" Arthur gritted his teeth. He was starting to slip back down!

Ally climbed into the opening and tried to get a better look up. He could see Arthur nearly at the top now. The chute made a 90 degree turn deeper into the building. It looked wide enough, but...?

"Not to rush you guys..." Summer started nervously.

"SHUT – UP." Arthur said through gritted teeth, really fighting for those last few feet. He was starting to slip and he was running out of strength. He wasn't an athlete here, jeez...

"Please hurry!" Summer whispered, watching the door. She was terrified that the Joker would spring into the room at any moment to kill them.

Finally, Arthur could see up over the bend. Looked good! It went quite a ways.

"We're good! It stays this wide!" Arthur whispered back down.

Ally helped Summer into the opening in the wall.

Suddenly, some blood dropped down on her.

She opened her mouth to scream, but Knox clamped a hand over her mouth immediately. Stopping the scream just in time.

Arthur turned around. Now over the ledge. "Careful. It's sharp."

"Relax." Knox whispered to Gleeson kindly. "I'm right behind you."

Summer started up and Knox helped her. With assistance, she made quick work of the chute.

Knox entered and turned around. He hurriedly returned all the crates and the grate to the opening to cover their trail behind him. It would hopefully buy them some escape time...

Then the three worked their way down the tunnel. It was pitch black now.

In the darkness, Arthur realized they were coming to an intersection of some kind. He wasn't sure how many options there were. At least two. Which way should they take? He couldn't SEE which was the better option. Uh...

"There's a fork." Arthur hesitated.

"Well, don't go LEFT. That's towards Joker." Knox told him bluntly.

"Are you sure?" Summer fretted.

"Umm..." Arthur couldn't tell which was left. There could be more than two options, after all.

He tried to feel as far right as he could. And then he tried that opening... but...?

* * *

Joker heard a strange noise over his head. Like an animal scratching inside the walls, only HUGE...

He looked up and saw the roof tiles shaking. He could see a progression along.

This wasn't mice or squirrels... or raccoons... It was pretty clear what it was!

He smirked and scratched his head with his gun. "Seems we've got a pest control problem..."

And with he fired a few shots into the roof.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

* * *

Three bullets shot up into the chute.

Summer screamed. Everyone jumped.

One missed all together, creating a visible hole.

Another grazed Arthur's leg. The other grazed Knox's arm.

"Back, back, back!" Arthur hissed, terrified.

_"I... hear... you..." _Joker's voice came from below in a sing-song voice.

* * *

Joker heard them scrambling back. So he kicked the door down and went into the back room again.

He couldn't see how they'd found a vent. How...?

But their noisy scrambling gave a pretty good indication as to where the pipe would lead... and...

He kicked the crates out of the way. And the grate flopped over, revealing the opening.

"Oh, I do NOT have time for this BS, people." The clown growled.

He pulled the remote control from his pocket and typed some orders calmly.

* * *

"Oh crap." Arthur stopped crawling.

"What?" Summer couldn't see. "What's wrong?"

"It gets really narrow suddenly. We can't continue." Arthur sounded frightened.

"We're trapped!" Summer grabbed Ally. "Oh God! We're trapped!"

"Back!" Arthur pushed her. "Come on!"

"We're trapped!" Summer fumbled in the dark. She was about to have a panic attack. Knox could just tell from the break in her voice.

_Oh no... Not in here... _He thought to himself. They were SO closed in and they were in total darkness. Oh man...

"BACK." Arthur kept them moving, frightened.

"Relax, relax, relax..." Ally was trying to calm Summer.

"Yes, RELAX." **The Joker** called from below. "I'm a slow typer."

The clown laughed loudly. "I would just ORDER you back via mind control. But THIS will be much, much more entertaining..."

* * *

Nightwing randomly stopped fighting and turned and walked away. Leaving Batman and Batgirl down a teammate unexpectedly.

Batgirl dodged Montoya's kick. "Where are you doing?"

Nightwing didn't answer. He just walked out the room without a word.

Well, at least he hadn't turned on them... YET...

* * *

"ALRIGHT, alright. My GOD. You're like a little girl." The witch boy rolled his eyes irritably from the passenger seat.

And then Jace's mouth opened with a loud gasp. Flooded with feelings of relief, he touched his lips... they were sore...

"I want a happy meal." Klarion announced loudly.

Jace still hadn't recovered from the last impossible request. _Oh no..._

How should he respond? He decided to just silently drive to the nearest Golden Arches and let the kid figure things out. It was too dangerous to protest.

Before long they pulled into a MacDonalds parking lot. And they walked into the restaurant together in silence...

The place seemed to be empty and abandoned.

Klarion went up to the counter. "Is this where I place my order?" He asked Jace.

Jace nodded. He didn't bother to explain that no one was present to fill the order.

The boy waited on the spot for some time. And then he began to shift his weight impatiently and finally – "What happens now?"

"Um..." Jace wasn't sure what answer equalled survival.

And then they noticed a girl was hiding back in the kitchen, crouched down. She looked around fourteen or fifteen. Just a frightened girl in a uniform left alone during a massive emergency. Jace would have pitied her if he wasn't so caught up in his own predicament.

"You there." Klarion said rudely. "I want a happy meal."

She stood up nervously. "We're not open. Something's happening out there."

"Something will happen IN HERE if you don't obey me! I want a happy meal!" Klarion raised his voice.

She looked flustered. "There's no power. I can't-"

"I need HAPPINESS, damn it! I want a HAPPY meal!"

She blinked. And then she looked at Jace. Was this for real?

Jace said absolutely nothing. He didn't fancy dying. It was tragic he couldn't warn her... but...

"You advertise happiness. Give it to me or die!" Klarion shouted at her.

And then the girl surprised Jace. She put a cold burger and some cold fries in a bag with a cheap toy and handed it to Klarion. Intuition told her that this kid was bad news and she just needed to appease him however she could to diffuse his temper.

"Free of charge." She told Jace. And then she glanced out at their car. "Any chance you could drive me-"

"NO!" Klarion barked. "You aren't pretty enough to escort me."

She blinked again, constantly surprised by the audacity of this child.

Jace's eyes were apologetic. He clearly wasn't calling the shots here. Something was wrong with this child. What the hell?

"Actually..." Klarion seemed to reconsider his decision. "Females supposedly have a different skill set. We could probably use one."

Jace felt his tummy sink. _He's constructing a little family... _

The demon boy turned to the young girl: "You will come with us. Now."

As he said this... every single object in the restaurant that was not bolted down began to FLOAT simultaneously...

It was a powerful and very evocative threat.

Eyes wide, the girl looked at Jace Dryden and joined his nightmare.

* * *

The Mad Hatter was still nervously fumbling through questions on the stand.

Meanwhile, the duchess was temporarily at a loss. She'd tried to seduce Bullock, to enrage him... Nothing was working... Hmmm...

She would have tried someone else, but she hated the Jersey cop specifically. With a passion. She wanted to see him suffer like dying bait on a rusty hook!

The detective was playing hangman with Summer Gleeson on his hand.

Summer had taken it upon herself to save the day. She had seen right from the get-go that it was up to her to rein Bullock in. Not just because he was sitting beside her, but because she suspected she was the only one capable of doing it.

She was holding his rough hand and writing on it with his fountain pen. It tickled!

He picked E, coz you always picked E first. And if you don't – you should.

So now the message read: _EE_ _ _ _ / _ _ _ _ E _

"Hmm..." He looked thoughtful.

She started doodling on his hand as she waited. Her hands were so tiny and soft compared to his. It felt nice.

Absently, he said, "You should read palms. You're gentle."

She rolled her eyes, but refrained from saying anything unkind. The idea here was to be NICE to him for a change and to distract him from this horrible place so they could escape this scene.

And then he decided to pick L randomly. Call it detective intuition, maybe?

And she filled in two very helpful blanks.

He smiled and took the pen from her.

PEELING APPLES. He filled in the rest of the message.

Summer grinned.

And his mind returned to them peeling apples together earlier in their adventure. She'd enjoyed that. She'd SUCKED at it royally, but she'd enjoyed it.

In fact, it was the only happy memory they had together.

And suddenly he felt very awkward and needed to kill the moment.

"If I die with this crap on my hand, I'm gonna be unimpressed." He told her gruffly, sitting back and taking his hand away.

She frowned. "You have a real knack for ruining moments, you know that?"

He was still looking at his hand. "I mean, what the hell is THIS? A flower? How sissy is that?"

"It's a butterfly." She said defensively.

"Oh. You don't draw so good." Bullock tried looking at his hand from a few different angles.

Summer looked really ticked off now.

But then the detective smelled something _heavenly_...

He turned and realized the duchess was casually smoking a cigarette.

She smiled at him and blew some smoke in his face nonchalantly.

Summer realized what was about to happen and nudged Harvey. "Your turn." She held out her hand.

Distracted for an instant, he shook his head and looked at her. He clearly hadn't been listening.

"Your turn." She repeated.

"I'll take a turn." Tim piped up.

"NO, it's Harvey's turn." Summer glared at the kid. This wasn't really about idle games!

Harvey smirked and took her hand. And then he put a few blanks-

"If it's '**YOU SUCK'** pick something else." She told him crossly.

He stopped writing. And she rolled her eyes.

Then Harvey picked a new message and started over.

"There's only so much space. Why is your writing so big?" She grumbled.

"I've got big hands, ok?" He replied peevishly.

Tim shook his head. "Listening to you two bicker is funny, man..."

And then another big gust of cigarette smoke blew in the detective's face and he froze. Clearly distracted.

"OK. I'll start with E." Summer nudged him.

And then another big mouthful of smelly smoke. Summer hated that smell, but evidentially, Harvey loved it...

"Uh oh..." Tim swallowed. Even a child could see it for the trap it was.

The detective turned to face the duchess, closing his eyes as another large stream of smoke hit his face.

Summer watched nervously. "Um... Harvey?" She ventured with unease.

* * *

Batman and Batgirl were in a very unfortunate situation now.

It was two against five and three of their attackers could not be seriously harmed.

And Montoya and Gordon had guns!

Batgirl flung a cord at her father quickly, hoping to tie him up and take him out of the fight. She was terrified at the prospect of him being hurt or killed.

But he was an excellent marksman and he fired a direct shot at the cord, which ricocheted away. Woah!

Batman fired a batarang, knocking the gun from Gordon's hand. And then quickly, he launched a cord to tie the older man up.

But Gordon dodged and drew another gun instantly. He started firing at them again. (Montoya was also firing. Closing in!)

Meanwhile, Clock King had retrieved his revolver and Harley Quinn was bouncing around like a ninja...

Even Mayor Hill was swinging around a lead pipe like a maniac!

"They're going to shoot each other!" Batgirl called over the din. "All they care about is getting us!"

"Knock out the Mayor before he gets shot!" Batman barked, kicking Harley away and dodging bullets from three separate gunmen.

"We need to take cover!" Batgirl barked back. A bullet grazed her side.

She was right. This was totally out of control.

Batman hated to retreat, but holy HELL... there wasn't much choice here...

SOMEONE was going to end up dead in the next few seconds if this continued!

* * *

Arthur, Ally and Summer had backtracked as quickly as possible and had tried another path through the ventilation system.

Repeatedly they would hit a narrow section and need to backtrack to the last fork and try another path. It was time consuming and stressful... and they knew they could die at any moment...

Bullets could shoot up from below. Or someone could be chasing them through the tunnels. It was really intense, to say the least.

They'd started moving more slowly and quietly... and they'd stopped talking all together... It was all exacerbated by being in the DARK.

Arthur realized there was an enormous drop before him. The tunnel turned into a wide, open mouth and it was too dark to see what was happening!

"UMM..." He froze, feeling doomed.

* * *

Nightwing entered the backroom... he passed the Joker without pause, ready to crawl up into the ventilation chute as instructed.

But Joker unpredictably raised his gun and –

BOOM! BOOM!

Nightwing hit the ground.

The clown had wounded one arm and one leg.

Slowly, in great pain, Grayson rose to his feet and continued into the ventilation chute regardless.

"Can't say I didn't give them a sporting chance..." The clown watched Grayson work his way up the chute, slowed by his wounds.

"I'd ask your secret identity, but I just don't care." Joker added aimlessly.

And then he wondered idly if Nightwing would bleed to death during the hunt.

* * *

They had stopped and Arthur wasn't speaking.

"What?" Summer froze. "What!"

"SHH!" Arthur was following the wall with his hands... Ok...

"The path stops here and we can go up or down. If the tunnel continues forward, the hole is too wide to cross." Reeves told them quickly. "But if that's the case, the chute is likely too wide to actually go up or down."

"Likely the main branch of the system." Knox frowned. "We should turn around. In this darkness we can't judge-"

And then they heard someone coming behind them. From a distance. But coming quickly nonetheless.

"OH... MY..." Summer clutched Ally again.

"Up or down?" Arthur panicked.

"But we can't judge anything in the dark!" Summer was starting to lose it.

Knox spoke hurriedly, "Down is FASTER, but maybe deadly. Sound for depth."

"How!" Arthur hissed.

"Drop this down!" Ally handed a hard, little object.

But they could hear someone coming! They were getting closer.

"He's got a GUN. We've got to MOVE!" Summer sobbed.

"If you'd be QUIET, he might not find us so fast." Arthur said heatedly. "It's a MAZE, after all."

He dropped the object... and...

"OH..." Arthur paled. "It's deep. It must go down to the bottom of the building."

* * *

"Tell me what you know about the TARTS!" The king boomed angrily.

"Please, your majesty. I've told you all I know." The Hatter insisted.

"The king looked very disappointed. "Oh... surely we can't be DONE already... Surely there's more to this trial..."

The duchess' face was very close to Bullock's now. He closed his eyes, relaxing, as she blew smoke very slowly and sensually through the air from her open mouth to his. With each super, their lips were getting closer and closer...

Summer looked at Arthur nervously.

"Leave it." Arthur muttered. "I'd rather have him fall asleep than fly into a rage. We'll wake him up later."

"Well, don't leave him TOO long." Tim frowned. "Look what happens."

And with that, the boy motioned to Ally Knox.

Knox was quietly singing his stupid soup song to himself while cheerfully flipping the pages of his little reporter notepad.

"Ya, Knox is literally brain dead from extended entrancement." Summer was nervous.

"He was always brain dead." Reeves tried to joke.

No one laughed.

Arthur sighed, "TRUST ME. It's better this way. We do NOT want to take nicotine away from this guy right now. He'll go ballistic, break somebody's bones and land us all at the executioner's block. Let's just let him chill there a minute..."

Summer shifted uncomfortably in her seat, eyes to the front. The supers beside her reminded her of smoking pot with various boyfriends in college.

Their lips were so close now they were practically touching. The duchess blew a steady stream of smoke into the detective's mouth and within seconds another shot of the stimulant hit his brain.

He was half asleep, clearly entranced.

She took a long, deep drag and held it in a moment. Teasing him.

And then she leaned in to actually kiss him as she passed the smoke...

As their lips touched, he instinctively pulled away in distaste.

Then he abruptly took the cigarette from her and began smoking directly himself.

Summer was surprised by this. Even entranced he really didn't like her. Beauty and carnal pleasures didn't have nearly the hold on him she'd expected. Maybe he wasn't sleazy after all.

And then she realized she didn't dislike Harvey nearly as much as she had before they'd come to Wonderland.

The queen was bored. "Can we just kill the Knave now? I'm done with court."

"Ohhh..." The king stewed in his seat like a child.

Panicked, the Knave jumped to his feet. "No, your grace, please! Have mercy! The Hatter is LYING. He's withholding evidence. He's to blame!"

The Hatter blinked, very surprised. "Why are you talking?"

* * *

Klarion spit out a chunk of burger in disgust. "You're trying to POISON me!" He barked rudely from the passenger seat. "This is revolting!"

The girl in the backseat didn't dare speak.

Jace's eyes hit the rearview mirror and they exchanged a glance. They were trapped together in a car with this demon child from HELL...

_Fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor..._

The same freaking song was still playing. Over and over. They'd heard it easily a dozen times since they'd gotten back in the car. Jace was trying to use it to gauge time. They had no clock. Radio songs were generally around four minutes, right?

_Somebody call 911! _

The witch boy didn't know any music. He didn't seem to know a surprising amount of things. Like how to order fast food. The list of things the kid didn't know or had never experienced was growing by the second.

Jace was really beginning to wonder about his upbringing. His exposure to...

_Fire burning, fire burning... _

"I need a new song." Klarion said tiredly.

And then Jace noticed dark lines under the child's eyes for the first time. He obviously hadn't slept in a long, long time. And suddenly the cameraman realized he could NOT picture this child sleeping EVER. It was too natural a process. The kid would likely hate bedtime with a deadly passion... or he would be frightened of it or something... This kid was WARPED...

"Here." The teen handed Klarion her MP3 player. "There are 500 songs on there."

_Anything's got to be better than a 911 song about fires. _Jace looked out the window at all the burning buildings around them.

Klarion started pressing buttons and looking at the player with mild interest...

"The headphones go in your ears." She tried to help him, but he swatted her away harshly. She had to silently just settle for watching him fumble along cluelessly. He had no idea how to use it!

And then, bored with having no success, Klarion just casually threw the player out the window. They heard it smack on the pavement as they drove.

The girl cringed, but stayed silent.

The boy began to fumble now with his happy meal toy. "What is this?" He asked the girl rudely. "It is extremely crappy."

"It's a little police badge. For that new kid's movie. I dunno. I figured it matched your hat." She said cautiously. "The other option was Hello Kitty."

"I have a kitty." The boy said absently, examining the badge with narrow eyes.

They hit another impassable street and the witch boy sighed loudly. Everywhere they went they were delayed by obstacles and problems. He had very little patience to begin with... this was becoming too much...

He needed to work on his teleportation spells. Though they used a lot of energy. And he already didn't get much rest.

And then he snorted, "You know, this town really SUCKS. It's all burning down."

_Understatement. _Jace thought to himself grimly.

"You know, finding Batman isn't really worth all these annoyances..." The boy muttered.

And then he was silent for a little while, clearly deep in thought.

Then he said abruptly, "Yes, I've changed my mind. Turn around here. We're going to do something that's actually FUN. I've had enough of Gotham. I never liked this place anyway."

"Where shall we go?" Jace tried to sound casual.

"Vacation." Klarion sighed tiredly.

Jace turned the car around. He's been looking for something a little more specific, but whatever. They'd drive out of town and see where this madness took them. Hopefully he'd live to see another sunrise...

But the girl piped up, "I heard there's a blockade. The city is under total quarantine. No one is allowed in or out until they figure things out."

Klarion's expression darkened. "You and the touching and the talking. I don't like it. If you annoy me again I'll turn you into a bicycle and back over you a few times."

The girl paled and fell silent. She'd only been trying to help.

And then Klarion cracked a small smile. "Or maybe a watermelon..." He said to himself quietly. "That would be quite graphic..."

"What would you like to do on vacation?" Jace asked pleasantly.

Klarion seemed to seriously consider this. "Hmm... I'd like to go to Disneyland."

"Ok." Jace said simply. But really he was worrying about a blockade. He dreaded the idea of this kid killing cops and soldiers to go out and contaminate the rest of the country with some deadly, unknown super virus. It made him sick to his stomach.

But he kept driving. Hopefully he wouldn't get shot dead in the crossfire.

* * *

"OK..." Riddler motioned to the driver. "We should get out and proceed on foot from here..."

The Penguin looked out the window. "I've got a bad feeling about this..."

"Well, I'm no tactical expert. What do YOU want to do?" Ed glared.

"That's not what I meant." Oswald frowned.

"Two Face isn't to be underestimated." Ivy agreed, pulling out some green vials. "We need to strike fast with everything we've got."

"Let's all unite... determine our target and then strike together..." Ed climbed out of the car. He started motioning to the cars behind him.

Everyone began to get out of their cars and come forward silently.

"OK... this is it..." Eddie turned to Ivy.

"Fireworks." She grinned at him darkly.

"I am envisioning total chaos." Penguin muttered quietly.

* * *

"I'd like to ride a rollercoaster." Klarion said abruptly. He'd never been on any kind of vacation before and liked the idea of it very much suddenly. As long as he had company. He wasn't going alone. They were coming with him.

Jace didn't say anything. He was distracted.

He'd made the mistake of taking one of the major streets in town. There were people all over the place and they immediately noticed his working vehicle.

And then they came at the car. The girl screamed from the backseat. People were trying to get in the windows and it was too late! He couldn't zoom away without killing someone!

A gunshot was fired! The back window immediately shattered. People really started to flood at them now, reaching through the gaping opening.

Klarion closed his eyes. Was he overwhelmed?

People were grabbing the girl now. Hurting her. She was going to be-

"Do something!" Jace barked at the witch boy.

And then Klarion's eyes popped open, glowing red dangerously. _"Pulvis."_

And every single person on the street – and there were dozens – immediately turned to dust. The dust dissipated and they were alone again.

There was a frightening silence suddenly after all that noise.

The girl whimpered, curling up in her seat.

Klarion ignored them both, looking so tired now. The dark rings under his eyes were more pronounced. As though he were sick.

Jace stared blankly in total shock.

The boy curled up in his seat... He seemed to want to sleep... but didn't...

"Drive." He said finally, realizing Jace was just sitting there.

So they drove. But Jace could tell the kid was exhausted.

Finally, the man dared to speak, "You need some sleep."

Klarion didn't answer. He looked like he was fighting the urge to drift off.

"Are you alright?" Jace asked carefully.

"I'm fine." Klarion answered tiredly.

"When was the last time you slept? You need to sleep regularly."

Klarion said nothing. But he still refused to sleep...

_He's too tired to argue with me._ Jace realized gravely.

They drove on in silence, the witch boy fighting off slumber.

Jace put the pieces together. With no rules or guidance, this kid rarely slept. He just did whatever the hell he pleased night and day. And powerful magic drained him of what energy he had left... So now, the combination had exhausted him. He couldn't keep hurling mega spells around without rest. It was suddenly very clear.

And now he needed to rest and recuperate. Only he didn't trust this life enough to sleep. He was too frightened to let his guard down. Someone could hurt him. Something could happen. They would probably escape and leave him alone...

The boy probably didn't have the strength to cast some sort of spell to control the situation while he was asleep. Hmm... The boy was afraid of losing control.

Jace decided to leave things alone. He knew the boy couldn't fight off the exhaustion forever. He'd eventually fall asleep. And then they'd probably be able to escape.

Then again... Klarion could easily find someone to take some pretty gruesome revenge... Umm...

Well, he'd just roll with things and make decisions in the moment. Maybe they'd hit a blockade. Maybe this kid would fall asleep. Anything could happen. He would see how things played out and hope for the best. That's all he could do!

* * *

Otis Flannegan was sitting on a closed dumpster, staring off, zoned out.

A large, scraggily rat scurried up onto his shoulder.

He turned absently and looked into its face, his eyes very relaxed. "...Yes..." He said quietly. "Yes, I suppose it's time..."

He glanced into the duffle bag resting beside him. Inside was a costume.

And then he hopped down off the dumpster and started walking.

Dozens and dozens of rats scurried after him. And the number was growing quickly. Soon hundreds and hundreds of rats were filling the street... Following their master...

* * *

The Coalition moved forward in unison. They had their gas masks ready should Scarecrow decide to drop some horrific bomb on them...

It wasn't clear which of the buildings they were to strike...

And then unexpectedly –

SQUAWK!

Enormous bird mutants suddenly came down from the sky.

Brown's surprise was suddenly upon them. He'd made HUGE pigeon monsters.

The united villains all immediately broke apart in chaos, shouting and running and firing off their respective weapons and super abilities in all directions.

Bullets and fire and laser beams and ninja stars and all sorts of crazy weapons were flying in all directions.

"WOAH!" Killer Moth dodged some fire and then some bullets and then some fire. "We're going to kill EACH OTHER!"

Bane took cover and looked seriously pissed off. "Just like the hydra... in battle we devour our own heads..." He snarled. And then he raised his voice, "HOLD YOUR FIRE! TAKE COVER!"

Nobody listened.

Ivy smashed every single green vial simultaneously and an earthquake began... and then enormous, killer stalks emerged from the ground. Vines as thick as massive tree trunks began to spiral out of control all over the place!

"NOO!" Bane shouted, but it was clearly too late.

"IVY!" Eddie snarled as he was coiled up and lifted away upside-down. His hat fell off.

"Oh." Poison Ivy suddenly realized the problem here.

"I knew it. I just knew it." Penguin grumbled as he was also scooped up.

He managed to draw his umbrella and slice the green coil off him.

"ACK!" Ivy screeched in pain.

And then she saw Firefly burning the hell out of her giant vines!

"STOP IT!" She screeched, throwing a pink vial up at him.

The vial missed and hit Hush directly in the face. He covered his soaked, bandaged face with his hands, crying out in shock and pain. Pink fumes floated about him.

"You're killing us, you bitch!" Firefly shot flames at her directly.

Ivy dodged and Hush unexpectedly sprang to his feet. "Don't touch her!" And with that, he attacked Firefly.

"AH!" The silver flyer freaked. "What the hell, man?" And with that, he fired deadly flames directly at Hush.

"I can't believe this." Eddie said tiredly, still hanging upside-down nearby.

Penguin floated to the ground with an umbrella and watched the Coalition battling the giant vines, the giant birds and one another. (And the fear toxin hadn't even come yet.)

"This was SUCH a mistake." It was all he could say.

* * *

Klarion had fallen into a deep sleep.

The police officer's cap had fallen down over his dark eyes...

Jace slowed the car very cautiously and then glanced back at the girl.

She didn't even hesitate. She flew out the door and was just GONE. Out of sight.

The cameraman hoped she didn't pay for it later. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't actually want to flee. The kid might come after him. And frankly... looking at the sleeping little guy... hmmm... I didn't feel right to just abandon the kid like this. Something felt wrong about it.

This messed up little boy needed help. Badly. He seemed so empty and unloved.

But then again... was that Jace's problem? This kid could easily KILL him, damn it!

What should he do? Either decision could prove to be a fatal mistake.

* * *

The Mad Hatter looked around the courtroom in shock and confusion. This wasn't right. None of this was right. What the hell?

"The Hatter's to blame!" The Knave insisted desperately.

Jervis Tetch slowly stood up and said, "This isn't Wonderland. This is someone's cheap bastardization of it! And I refuse to play a moment longer!"

"SIT DOWN." The king ordered sternly.

"I will not!" The Hatter stood up on his chair.

And then he removed the king's crown and hurled it away. "YOU aren't the KING! And she isn't the queen!"

Then he pointed to the pretty Duchess, "And I don't know who the hell YOU'RE supposed to be!"

"SILENCE!" The queen bellowed.

Hatter ignored this. He shouted, "None of this is right! I refuse to participate!"

"UM..." Arthur Reeves started to rise in his seat, nervously. Ready to leave.

"Off with his head!" The queen barked.

"NO!" The Hatter took the king's mallet and struck her with it.

"OH... MY..." Summer paled, also standing up.

They were all standing up now.

"RUN!" The Hatter made it a break for it. Running down the aisle.

He burst out the back doors. **"RUUUUUUN!" **He was screaming.

The Gothamites didn't need another invitation. They ran for their lives.

"AFTER THEM!" The queen screeched with a terrifying ferocity.

Every single Wonderland creature poured out of the courtroom in pursuit. The King and Queen followed dangerously.

It all happened so fast in a flurry of noise, anger and confusion.

Riddler and Poison remained behind in their seats, _alone_ in the empty court room.

"Why did they follow?" Eddie blinked. He couldn't believe it.

"They're idiots." Ivy shrugged. "I have NO idea what they were thinking."

"Well..." He stretched relaxingly, slipping his arm around her. "No matter. Once again they've created a diversion that allows us to escape harm."

Ivy smirked, "We continue to have remarkable luck, Eddie."

"Oh, you know it. Once again, we're coming up _roses_..."

Ivy smirked, loving the expression. Roses were her favourite.

* * *

The Mad Hatter, Knox, Reeves, Gleeson, Bullock, Drake and the Duchess were all racing down a long, endless hallway of doors at break neck speed.

Behind them raged every Wonderland character imaginable.

The noise was deafening.

The hallway seemed to never end! They just kept running and running...

"SPLIT UP!" Arthur screamed, grabbing a door handle.

But it was locked.

Summer tried two or three doors.

"They're all locked!" She sobbed desperately.

The Queen and the angry mob were coming fast...

"We're going to die." Arthur realized, trying more and more doors.

"KEEP RUNNING!" Knox grabbed him. "RUN!"

* * *

**A/N: Sorry some sections were so SLOW... **

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are really appreciated. They motivate me, for sure. **


	17. Many Mazes, Mirrors and Russian Roulette

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 17: Many Mazes, Mirrors and Russian Roulette**

**Disclaimer: I don't pretend to own the Batman or Wonderland stuff.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! We're nearing the end of this story. Wow.**

* * *

The fugitives, led by Jervis Tetch, were sprinting down an endless hall of locked doors. The Wonderland characters were roaring after them dangerously. It was like that intense, heart pounding nightmare where you can't escape the threat that's chasing you no matter what you try.

Arthur Reeves kept futilely trying doors, allowing his lead to dwindle. The danger was quickly closing the gap. But he couldn't help it. He kept checking doors. Arthur knew they couldn't keep racing forward forever.

And then one of the doors actually opened.

Arthur could barely speak – "In here! In here!" He was panicky.

Everyone darted into the room and slammed the door behind them. Instantly, the sound of the screaming and shouting vanished.

They turned and saw before them another long, endless hallway. This one was lined with mirrors instead of doors, though. Full length mirrors.

"Artie! They designed this one for you, baby!" Ally announced playfully, his voice echoing in the long, mysterious corridor.

Reeves was still breathless from the run. So he said nothing.

The duchess shook her head. "OH no." She declared. "I'm gone."

And with that she grabbed the door knob and prepared to exit again.

"Hey, hey…" Bullock grabbed her arm to stop her from going back out there.

The beautiful, dark haired woman ripped her arm away violently. "As _sexy_ as I find your cheap aftershave, I'm going it alone!" She shouted at him with a hateful sarcasm.

And she exited, slamming the door loudly behind her.

Bullock immediately moved to follow, but Reeves grabbed his shoulder with surprising force. "You can't save people who don't want to be saved! You've tried and tried. Just let her go."

Reeves' typical anger and arrogance were gone. They had been for a long time now. And it occurred to Harvey that in this Wonderland nightmare, Reeves was actually his closest ally. The only other options were criminals, a little boy, a crazed Knox and the petrified Gleeson. The rational, survivalist Reeves was ACTUALLY starting to look good under these circumstances. When did that happen? Or, more importantly, why had they been hating on each other so badly this whole time? They'd worked together so well in the past for the city…

Reeves saw the detective hesitating… wavering… and started to relax.

Bullock shook his head, "It's nuts, I know. But I'm a COP. She's just brainwashed. I've gotta-"

Summer lost it. "She's trying to KILL us, Harvey!" She shouted at him.

Bullock turned the door knob and realized the door was locked again. What?

He tried and tried… and…

Summer and Arthur exchanged a relieved expression.

Tim was just watching everything unfold quietly. Once again, he'd agreed with the detective. Robin would have tried to save that girl. Batman had taught him that you did whatever it took to save everyone. It wasn't always possible, but you always tried your damndest anyway. You didn't just leave someone behind when there was a chance to save them! The fact that Bullock understood this was one of his redeeming features.

Meanwhile, Ally was smiling merrily and wandering amongst his many, many reflections. "Come see this, guys!" He called happily. "A thousand MEs."

"One is enough, thank you." Reeves sighed unenthusiastically.

Harvey unexpectedly attempted to kick the door down. It was something he'd become an expert at… and YET… the door resisted supernaturally.

He stepped back, tipping his back. "Not happening." He admitted aloud.

Ally had stopped walking and was now specifically examining one of his reflections carefully. Securitizing it, he stepped back uncomfortably. "That's not me. Something's not right." He blinked, turning to Tim. "It's _darker_ over there or something."

The boy looked around and said, "I… I don't see you Ally! I only see ME."

"And I only see me." Summer realized, coming forward and looking around. She hated home dirty and sweaty she looked. Her hair was still thrown up in a messy bun.

"Only it isn't us." Knox insisted stubbornly. "Look closely. Something's wrong."

Summer looked at her reflection very, very closely and after a moment she felt a strange feeling. A vibe. She knew what Ally meant. They looked precisely identical and yet the spirit behind it was all wrong. The essence wasn't there. Something was eerily off. DARKER had been the right term, she supposed. But invisibly so.

"Creepy." Reeves admitted quietly, staring at his crazy hair and tired eyes.

"I don't like this place." Knox took of uneasy step backwards. "I think I've had enough now."

"You?" Tim smiled. "You like every place, Al. You'd be grooving during a root canal!"

Ally made a face, scrunching his features adorably, "I don't like mouth needles."

Reeves touched a mirror. The surface felt very strange! Like nothing he could describe from past experience. No simile worked.

Immediately, his voice could be heard all around:

_I'm sorry if I put the structural integrity of bridges before the beautification of the downtown core!_

He pulled his hand away and looked around, surprised. The others were also looking. They'd all heard it.

Arthur cautiously touched the mirror again. This time:

_It's not my fault! I told Jake to watch his shoelaces. That goat will eat ANYTHING. Plastic, metal… the ribcage of a roasted chicken…_

Arthur pulled his hand away again. The voice had been young. He'd been a boy.

"Goat?" Knox blinked.

"That goat would eat the shoes right off your feet." Arthur remembered tiredly.

Knox touched the mirror in front of him.

His original cocky and factual voice came into the hall:

_Lieutenant Eckhart… What's with this guy dressing as a bat? This Bat Man, if you will._

Bullock whistled, still back at the door. "Eckhart's been dead a long time…"

Ally was surprised. "That's me? That's what I sound like?"

"When you aren't high on the Wonderland experience." Tim muttered.

"Wait, where's Hatter?" Summer realized nervously.

"He must have continued further down…?" Tim sounded as uncertain as he looked.

"UM…" Arthur's eyes were wide.

He had stuck his hand slowly and sloppily through the strange surface of the mirror. He could see it on the other side.

"Through the looking glass." Ally whistled in that melodramatic way of his.

* * *

"Reach, damn it!" Summer was freaking out in the darkness. "He's COMING!"

Arthur was slowly, carefully reaching across the gap in the ventilation shaft with Summer and Ally holding onto his legs should he start to fall forward into the invisible abyss.

They could distinctly hear their hunter getting closer and closer. And it was terrifying.

"OK." Reeves felt the other side. "It's doable, but tricky… Brace me, ok? I'm gonna try."

"How…?" Summer wasn't sure what to do to help him across.

But before she could finish her sentence, Arthur had sprung across somehow. "OK. Now you, Summer. Reach out for my hands. Ally can help from behind."

"OK." Summer said hesitantly. She was envisioning deadly turbine blades down below in the darkness. She really didn't want to fall. But the sound of some murderer coming quickly after them pushed her onward and she was very soon across the gap.

Last, Ally remained. There was no one to help from behind should he falter, though. And sure enough, as he sprang, his legs didn't clear the gap!

His feet hit the downward tunnel wall and he realized he was in trouble. "SHOOT!" He started pulling Arthur and Summer down with him unintentionally.

Summer screamed, feeling herself falling.

Their pursuer heard this scream and changed directions. He was getting very close!

"WOAH." Arthur dug in. Knox also dug into the wall. They held that position for a moment so they could collect themselves and make a coordinated, solid attempt to get Knox up. But it was extremely difficult in total darkness! No one really knew what anyone else was doing and how they should be contributing! It was bad.

As they struggled and struggled they could hear the danger growing very, very close suddenly. It had just taken a nearby turn and…

Finally, they managed to get Knox up into the tunnel with them. But they were exhausted. And shaken.

And then they realized the rustling of the enemy was directly above them.

They didn't move. They stopped breathing and waited in absolute silence. Praying they could just hide in the dark and their hunter would overlook them and crawl further away.

Rustling… scraping…

Then it suddenly stopped. There was a silence.

And then they heard the sound of tearing metal!

A light came through a rough tear in the tunnel roof above them. And there was the masked face of Nightwing looking through a tiny opening at them…

Grayson could just get his arm through and he clawed at them with his dark gloved hand aggressively.

Summer screamed. And all three started trying to crawl further down the tunnel at top speed before Nightwing worked more of his body through and killed them. Because that was very clearly his intention. There was no mistaking the look on his cold, angry face.

* * *

It had been a difficult decision, but eventually Jace had decided to stay with the scary little boy. He'd managed to convince himself that it was his duty to the human race to try to pacify the boy and subtly direct his deadly powers away from destruction and evil. He suspected bailing would enrage the child and only cause him to hurt and kill all the more. The witch boy might even track Jace down in revenge. It was a scary thought.

Admittedly, he'd had very little luck in influencing the boy. More often than not his comments enraged the dark haired brat. But he could see no other alternative.

So he sat in the driver's seat watching the boy sleep. The troubled child was a restless sleeper. Which didn't surprise the cameraman at all as the boy had been frightened to go to sleep in the first place. All around, this kid had serious issues. It was just difficult to determine what they were and how they went…

Jace was SO hungry. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and decided to get some sleep himself. The kid probably wouldn't LET him sleep at any other time, frankly.

But then it occurred to him that it was very, very STUPID to let the witch boy sleep. This was allowing the little terror to recharge and be ready for another round of chaos. If he just kept the boy awake… Hmm…

A brilliant, brilliant plan! He needed to keep the boy from resting and regenerating his powers…

But Jace remembered the sickly look on the boy's face. He needed to sleep to live. It would be cruel to deprive him of sleep when he so desperately needed it! But… at the same time…

Then Jace noticed all the rats. They had gradually increased in number and now they were filling the streets at an unnatural rate. Some had climbed up on the hood of the car, sniffing around with shiny little dark eyes.

Eww… Jace decided to roll up the windows.

Suddenly, the orange and black tabby lunged from the backseat. She landed on Klarion's lap and sprang again towards the rats.

OH! Jace had jumped, startled. He'd forgotten the cat was in the car.

The witch boy had woken with a start. He looked around, clearly very frightened. He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep. Anything could happen to him when he slept. He was totally vulnerable!

Realizing Jace was still in the car and nothing bad had happened… the boy slowly looked calmer…

After an awkward silence, Klarion said, "That girl's gone."

"We don't need her." Jace shrugged nonchalantly. He sounded confident, friendly.

"You're right. I had my doubts about bringing her along in the first place. I don't care much for girls."

They sat in silence. And then Klarion muttered quietly, "She couldn't cook anyway. That cold, poison burger was simply horrid. HAPPY meal, indeed. Blah."

Jace was really hungry, so he risked it. "Ya, we should probably get some REAL food. I'm super hungry. Are you?"

Klarion looked tired. "I am. I want pizza."

"Everything's old, cold, rotting or looted." Jace sighed.

Surprisingly, Klarion didn't get angry. He just sat there tiredly, thinking to himself.

And it was very clear to Jace that staying had been a smart move. The kid was aware that he could have bolted, but instead chose to remain and be loyal of his own free will. This was a powerful statement all things considered.

It was an unspoken thing between them, but their relationship had just changed. Klarion was still in control and was still likely to lose his temper if irritated. But he was now less likely to get irritated. Or to act on it in frightening ways. Whereas earlier, speaking at all sent him into a dangerous rage. Things had definitely just improved!

"What's with all these rats?" Jace muttered.

"I'd kill them, but I'm tired." Klarion admitted.

"Ya, we need rest and sleep." Jace said casually. He didn't dare say YOU – that sounded bossy. No, it was important to influence, not to try to control. The boy had clearly never had any role models, any adults to emulate... This had to be done so very carefully if he valued his life… WE… This is what men do… this is what they need…

"But I want to go on vacation." The witch boy sighed.

"And we will. No worries." Jace smiled. "But we need food and sleep to go on vacation."

"…I know that…" Klarion looked annoyed. But he didn't act on it. Which was good.

* * *

The Coalition continued to self-destruct. They were being attacked by their enemies, giant mutants and one another.

Killer Moth, Bane and Penguin were all trying to shout some sense into their comrades over the noise, but it was futile. Things had spiraled too far out of control.

A car went flying and was about to land on Baby Doll.

"Mary!" Killer Croc grabbed her by the arm and ripped her out of harm's way. Unable to help himself. They had history.

"Oh, come on, guys!" Firefly was buzzing around overhead. "Chill out a second!"

And then he pressed a button and music played from his wings again:

_People got me, got me questioning_

_Where is the love? (Love) _

_Where is the love? (The love)_

_Where is the love? (The love)_

_Where is the love, the love, the love?_

"Oh brother…" Riddler muttered, still hanging upside-down in the grasp of a giant vine.

"What's with all these rats?" Killer Moth's orange wings fluttered awkwardly.

Sure enough, rats were flooding onto the scene in droves. Where were they coming from?

"Could you please cut me down?" Edward asked him politely.

Suddenly, the moth man was knocked from the sky by a violent blast.

"Never mind." Riddler sighed tiredly.

"Vermin." Penguin made a face, noticing all the rats infiltrating them.

And then suddenly, the Rat Catcher stepped up on top of a tractor trailer and said loudly: "Thanks for inviting me, people!"

"Which side is he on?" An upside-down Riddler asked Penguin.

Penguin looked up. "I haven't the foggiest."

"The rats are attacking BOTH sides!" Ivy was fighting them off.

"This is MY town now!" The Rat Catcher declared with anger.

"Are you KIDDING me?" Firefly snorted incredulously. "No offense, buddy… but… ya. No statement necessary."

"UMM…" Penguin looked frightened suddenly.

A tidal wave of MILLIONS of rats was coming. They were all going to suffocate! Or be bitten and scratched to death. The idea was just horrifying!

"Probably shouldn't have overlooked the guy who controls all the rats." Killer Moth landed beside Penguin. "He was the most powerful inmate when I was at Stonegate. Able to still fully operate from behind bars via his rats-"

"SHUT UP!" Penguin snapped, disgusted and frightened of all the rats.

"Listen, Rat Man…" Riddler smiled confidently.

"Rat _Catcher_." Bane corrected, knowing better than to offend.

"Right. Listen. We didn't forget you. We just assumed you wouldn't want or need to work with us. You always have your act together. We figured you saw this coming weeks ago and were already out of town. There's no need to do this to us. A man of your power and influence... well… No worries."

"Smooth, Edward." Bane rolled his eyes.

"Kill them all." Rat Catcher told his rats dismissively.

And sure enough, MILLIONS of rats started flooding over the other villains.

"OK! Barbequed rats coming up!" Firefly lost his temper and started burning thousands of rats at a time with his largest blow torch. The smell of burning fur and flesh was disgusting.

When he realized the rats just kept flooding forward endlessly, he called out: "Where are the **Bat Freaks**? A guy could get KILLED this way!"

The villains screamed as they were being bitten and scratched. Even Two Face and Farmer Brown were in trouble now.

"KILL RAT CATCHER, you idiots!" Two Face bellowed as rats bit him.

Hearing this, the Rat Catcher hopped down from his perch and out of sight.

"NOT how I expected to die." Riddler admitted as he saw the rats coming for him along the vine. There were hundreds of rats crawling towards him. OH… MAN…

A new round of violence, bullets, blasts and explosions began as the villains now fought the rats…

* * *

Paige Monroe was sobbing, lying uselessly on the cold metal counter. She'd tried in vain for ages to sit up… to get in motion… but somehow signals were getting crossed and arms moved when legs were meant to… Eventually, she'd exhausted herself completely. So she lay on her back crying pathetically.

Jervis Tetch couldn't stand it. He had to look away. He felt responsible for her condition and he wanted to put her out of her misery.

Scarecrow, on some level a friend of the Hatter, decided to oblige.

"This will stop her heart almost instantly." Crane was slowly filling a syringe.

Bullock, on the floor nearby handcuffed to a post, reflexively freaked. It was like a bolt of lightening struck. He had just dropped the little piece of metal he'd been attempting to pick his cuffs with… But now that he heard these terrifying words, he sprang into action without hesitation. It was literally life and death now.

And within a second he'd forced his hands to painfully snatch up the dropped metal which SHOULD have been out of his reach.

He'd practiced picking handcuffs many, many times and despite his panic was out of them almost instantly.

Crane was moving to make the injection. They didn't notice him springing up.

Harvey didn't stop to consider why he was panicked. It would have been safer and smarter to just continue to play dead and just worry about himself. Especially since Monroe was an enemy. Or was she now? It was unclear what was what after all this intense drama… They'd had one hell of a night together…

Regardless, Harvey was on his feet and reacting. No thought involved. The alarm was sounding through his brain like a bird flapping wildly in his ears.

He struck Crane so hard that both Crane and Tetch smashed into the wall.

And then there was an enormous explosion outside. Followed by the shrieking of enormous monsters. And then gun fire. And explosions and screaming. And… the earth began to shake and some green vines started to come up through the floor…

"It's started!" Crane cried out. "We've got to get out of here!"

Hatter didn't miss a beat. He threw down a smoke bomb at Bullock, burning the detective's eyes and filling his lungs.

Harvey hit his knees, hacking violently. He hadn't seen that coming.

The entire room quickly filled with smoke.

"Hurry!" Hatter grabbed his things off the counter.

Crane, hardly able to see, snatched up the antidote and his materials.

But as he started to run out, he stopped and realized the Fedora would only follow them. So he drew his gun and fired quickly into the smoke towards his enemy.

BOOM! BOOM! … The gun was empty. He couldn't do anything more.

So he ran out the rear door of the lab, past the freezer and towards the bi-plane parked out back. Jervis was already well ahead.

Bullock closed his eyes and clenched his teeth in pain. He was hit somewhere. AH…

Both shots had been very low, almost as though aimed at the ground because the Scarecrow had been blind when firing in the detective's direction. One bullet had just hit the floor. The other had connected.

The smoke was still thick… Harvey was still partially blind and it was hard to breathe…

In great pain, he reached down and felt wet blood… Leg wound. Ouch. At least it wasn't absolutely fatal. He just needed to not bleed to death! How much blood had he lost today? Jeez… Hopefully this madness was over now… But with all the dangerous vines popping up around them… he seriously doubted this was over.

He crawled across the floor in the smoke towards the counter. He needed to carry Paige to safety and to free the others. But he wasn't sure he could walk on a wounded leg… Hopefully the bullet hadn't hit an artery or anything. The notion freaked him out!

Fortunately, his wound wasn't bleeding rapidly. He pulled down a sheet off the other counter and tied his leg tightly with it… That would have to do for now… He couldn't think of much else to do, really. He wasn't a doctor. He just needed to slow the bleeding and hope he found help… somehow... somewhere… EESH…

He wasn't sure if his leg would hold his weight now, but he had to try.

Sure enough, he pulled himself up slowly and painfully… still coughing from the smoke…

"You ok?" He asked Paige, masking that anything was wrong with him.

The smoke started to dissipate and he saw that Paige's face was red and wet from crying. She looked absolutely miserable. But she was also relieved to be rescued. Very relieved. He liked how she was so thankful to see him. He wasn't accustomed to that.

"I was sure we were dead." She managed, her voice sounding wet and wretched.

"Me too." Harvey suddenly looked exhausted. He had a head wound, a leg wound, a high fever… He hadn't eaten, drank or slept lately… It was all starting to catch up with him.

He found it very painful to stand on his leg. Bracing himself on the table, he just took a minute to collect himself. Now that they were relatively safe, the exhaustion was really hitting him. NOT good. There was clearly danger outside.

"Are you alright?" Paige got nervous. She assumed he wouldn't show weakness unless he had no choice. Unless it was really, really bad.

"I'm good. No worries." He lied. And then after a pause, he smiled: "Brutal night, huh?"

Paige smiled back. And despite her heartbroken, teary face… he thought she looked absolutely gorgeous…

And then he realized what was happening. No, no, NO. Calendar Girl. Spooky white mask and loony holiday themes. Kidnap, four counts of attempted murder… Wacko, psychotic freak of a criminal fugitive from the law…

He cleared his throat gruffly, forcing up his typical grumpy face. "OK. Let's scoop you up and get the others out of that freezer. Something crazy's happening outside and we've gotta escape while we still can."

He had serious doubts that his leg could hold up, but there was no alternative. He had to get them out.

Harvey knew his leg would just _scream_ in protest, but he scooped Paige up nonetheless. And then he tried to take a step… and almost immediately he realized it would be a terrible struggle. Much worse than he'd envisioned. Maybe even impossible! Every step would be HELL. The extra weight on that leg was just… Wow.

He tried not to put much weight on the leg. To limp.

He kept forcing step after step… but he was slowing down…

About halfway across the lab he realized he couldn't keep this up. He felt like his leg was going to give out. He really needed a breather. His pride willed him onward step by step.

But he felt himself really starting to falter. His leg might give out and he could drop her. And that was way worse than admitting he wasn't as strong or as tough as he'd like to be.

So he silenced his ego and set her down for a second on a table top.

"Sorry, doll. Need a minute. This leg's not taking weight so good, ya know?" He said it with extreme nonchalance. As though he hadn't just been shot.

But when Paige actually looked she saw the wound and his bloody hand and… "You've been shot!" She realized with alarm.

"Meh." He said dismissively. "I'm fine. I just need minute."

Silence followed and Paige could hear Harvey's ragged breathing. Like unhealthy panting. It frightened her all the more.

"Just leave me." She couldn't bare it.

He could limp to the freezer and let the others out. Perhaps someone else would come back to carry Paige to safety. Then again – none of them had been brave enough to help him before. They weren't willing to risk their own necks. They'd bolt the second he let them out. IF he could let them out. Two Face had probably barricaded the door hardcore!

"Nah." He was dismissive again.

He couldn't leave her in the lab. It was the most dangerous room in the whole damn place. Someone was going to barge in at any moment! They both had to get out as quickly as possible. He just needed a minute to summon the strength needed.

"Help me down, please." She said sadly. "If you take my hands, I'll try to walk on my own. I just need to figure it out."

He was very doubtful of this. He'd seen her flailing and flopping like a dying fish. But he didn't want to be a jerk and voice his skepticism. Besides, it MIGHT work.

So, he helped her down slowly… and she was very wobbly on her legs… like there was no strength or skill there… like a baby learning to walk…

Um, if she wasn't going to support her own weight it defeated the purpose! His leg was really starting to scream again… AH…

She fell into him. He caught her and then they tried again.

This was probably going to take much longer. And it was almost as painful. If it even had half a chance of working at all. He would just carry her once he felt up to it again. They needed to get out of there!

But they tried for a minute. He held her hands and tried to help her. The idea was worth a shot, after all.

She was clearly concentrating and trying very, very hard to take a step. But she just couldn't. And Harvey couldn't wait any longer.

"Sorry, Paige." He scooped her up. "This-"

But the second he put the weight on his leg, it buckled and they both crashed to the floor.

* * *

In the darkness of the car trunk Robin could hear all sorts of gunfire, explosions, shouting… some sort of animalistic screeching – possibly giant birds?

He had easily freed himself from his bonds, but was waiting for the trunk to be opened. But it seemed that things weren't going according to plan. He'd probably been long forgotten.

And then there was a deafening noise and he was slammed roughly against the trunk wall… and then he felt himself almost floating for a second… like freefalling… and SLAM! He hit the trunk wall on the other side.

OUCH! … Woah. What the hell?

And then he heard something and had zero time to react before something heavy smashed into the car and the trunk popped open on its own.

Tim, though injured, wasted no time in rolling out of the totaled vehicle. It was clear that the car had been blown into the air and had landed on its side… only to be smashed by another car.

Robin felt very lucky to be alive, let alone not seriously injured. Superficially, his injures seemed minor. He was able to stand and limp away to hide at any rate…

Peering out from a position of relative safety, he tried to determine what to do next.

* * *

Arthur pulled his hand back onto their side of the mirror. "Well, I feel ok. I dunno."

"Hmm…" Tim went to touch the mirror and realized a Robin quotation might pop into the hallway. OH! Not a good idea. He pulled his hand back sharply. Feeling lucky he caught himself before he made a terrible mistake.

Summer cautiously poked the mirror and the surface rippled.

Feeling a little braver, she firmly placed her palm on the mirror and heard her voice:

_I thought I was on the Do Not Call list, damn it. Don't call here again._

Ally Knox touched a mirror again and they heard singing: _Take it on the run, baby!_

Tim laughed out loud. "Singing in the shower, Ally?"

"Or driving… or cooking… or photocopying… or… you know, LIVING…" Ally shrugged. "I'm just that kinda guy, what can I say?"

Ally removed his hand and then immediately touched the glass again. This time his voice said: _Viridian? It's a colour. A medium blue-green I strongly associate with water nymphs. _

"You're full of knowledge, I'll give you that." Summer smirked. "What's taupe?"

"Any grayish-brown. Like mice and mole fur, I guess." Ally answered without hesitation.

"And what's a manticore?" Tim asked animated.

"A mythological creature like the sphinx. Part lion with-"

"OK, ok." Arthur interrupted. "Can we focus, please? Check this out…"

And with that Arthur stuck his whole arm through the mirror and then pulled it back. Nothing bad had happened. He even felt the air and temperature of the other room. "Hmmm… What do you think?" He asked uncertainly.

"I don't think we should go through, if that's what you're asking." Tim frowned. "Hatter's gotten out somehow. He probably followed this hallway to its end."

"Ya, let's move on." Summer agreed, focused again.

So they started down the hallway. Ally was singing to himself, "_You_ _take it on the run, baby! If that's the way you want it, baby…_"

"Oh great." Tim muttered. "We had to get him started. It's in his head now."

"Well, at least he's stopped with that turtle's miserable-" Summer started.

"DON'T remind him." Arthur warned sharply. There was no way they were listening to any more of Ally's stupid soup song. Early 80s music was much, much better.

But then Summer realized Bullock was still hanging back by the doorway. He looked uncomfortable. So she waited for him expectantly.

He saw her waiting for him and looked awkward, "What? I just don't care for all the mirrors."

Summer realized that he probably didn't like seeing his own reflection. And she felt a pang of sadness for him.

He walked down the hall beside her, looking irritated. "Especially when they remind me of all the crappy things I've said over the years."

She smiled. "Ya. Fortunately nothing TOO humiliating popped up for anyone."

There was a silence between them as they walked and then Bullock grabbed her arm unexpectedly. "Would you want me to leave _you_ behind in trouble if you got brainwashed? Just coz we don't know her doesn't make it any different."

The reporter blinked. And then she realized he was referring to the duchess. He was still thinking about that.

"I know." She sighed. "I'm the one who always fought to save Ally, remember? We never leave HIM behind. The duchess is different, though. She's programmed to KILL us, Harvey. I know as a cop you don't want to give up on the innocent victim underneath. But in saving her, you endanger all of us. And really, shouldn't your responsibility be to the majority? Not one person who is a threat to everyone else?"

He didn't say anything. He liked to think he could save everybody somehow. But he knew she wouldn't want to hear that. He'd already risked their lives back in the courtroom trying to save the duchess girl. They'd had enough.

"Does that help you deal?" Summer wanted some sort of response from him.

"WOAH!" Ally was suddenly behind them. "How'd you get in front of me?"

Summer and Bullock turned around.

And then Harvey realized he still had her arm and awkwardly let her go.

The doorway behind them was no longer visible. Just a never ending hallway.

And suddenly… Tim and Arthur came up behind Ally.

"WHAT?" Arthur stopped walking. "What the hell?"

"Just let me try something!" Ally announced. And then he started running at TOP SPEED past Bullock and Gleeson. "WAAAAAAAAAA!" He cried as he ran.

And sure enough, he ran straight through again from behind Arthur and Tim.

"WAAAAAAA!" He continued to repeatedly run through the scene. Reappearing at the other end over and over again.

"OK, ok." Arthur grabbed him. "We get it. Stop."

"Try it!" Knox smiled. "It's the only fun thing that's happened in HOURS."

Tim looked at Arthur. The councilman sighed, "OK. Go quickly."

The boy took off running and ran right through the scene past them.

"What? He's a kid." Arthur justified himself to Gleeson and Bullock. Which was surprising from him, but he was beginning to loosen up more and more as they went. He was too tired to maintain his cold, business façade. And they'd all been through a lot together.

Ally started running now again.

And then Tim switched directions so that they were running past each other.

"WAAA!" They were having fun.

Bullock looked irritated. He visibly bit his lip, staring straight ahead as they ran past him over and over again noisily in both directions.

"How did our space get so SMALL?" Summer watched them uneasily.

"We're obviously being forced through the mirrors." Arthur said gravely. "There's no other way out of here."

"Well…" Summer turned and looked at her reflection. "It's probably dangerous."

"Of course it is. Everything's a trap." Arthur said in a monotone. "But we don't have any other options. Unless, of course, you want to stay in this little space forever."

Bullock turned to the mirrors. He saw all his reflections. His brown hair was a wild, spiked mess as his fedora slipped back casually. A toothpick rested in the side of his mouth and he awkwardly shoved his hands in his pockets and looked away.

But then he saw an additional figure in the mirrors as well. And it made him frown.

"What's wrong?" Summer noticed him staring at the mirrors.

"Hatter's over there. He just walked by." The detective answered, still frowning.

"Well, now we know where HE went." Tim stopped running.

Arthur sighed and held out his hand to Gleeson. "I'm going to experiment. Don't let me get sucked in or fall in or anything wacko like that."

And then he looked at Bullock and said, "Don't push me, ok? Seriously."

Bullock's hands were in his pockets. He didn't say anything.

Arthur stuck his face through and looked into the inverted hallway. He saw that it was the exact same hallway only with dimmer lighting and candles lining the walls between the mirrors. Overall, the ambiance was much creepier.

He saw Hatter looking around the hallway thoughtfully by himself.

Reeves pulled his head back and turned to the others. "It's like a creepier version of this hallway. And Hatter's over there poking around casually. He seems relaxed, unconcerned."

"Um…" Summer still looked uncertain. "Go all the way through to see if anything happens to you. I won't let go and we'll pull you back."

"Why am I the test subject?" Reeves was unimpressed.

"I already took a bullet for this team." Bullock snapped. "Your turn, Artie."

"Alright, alright. Jeez." Arthur remembered the duchess and submitted. He tightened his grip on Gleeson.

Summer turned and held out her hand to Harvey, trying to give him a kind smile.

He hesitated, feeling awkward about it. He then muttered, "Eesh. Quit giving me those bedroom eyes."

Gleeson was horrified and she went to smack him. But Harvey grabbed her hand and said to Arthur, "Just go already! Jeez. Why is everything such a PRODUCTION with you people?"

Arthur walked through completely. He looked at the Mad Hatter and asked, "Is it safe over here?"

Jervis smirked, "You won't trust any answer I give. So why ask?"

Arthur turned around to go back and realized he couldn't.

"UH OH." He paled. He gripped Summer tighter than ever. He started banging on the mirror on his side to communicate the problem.

Summer turned to Harvey, "OH NO! He can't come back!"

"You're surprised? The door locked behind us. Every trip here is one way, honey…" Bullock rolled his eyes.

"Don't let go!" Ally was nervous.

"Well… should we go with him?" Tim asked. "He can't come back to tell us if-"

"OY! Stick your face through like he did. Talk to him." Harvey was impatient. "Is it safe over there or what?"

Summer pulled away from Bullock and put her face through. After a moment, she came back and said to the group: "Well, there's no immediate danger over there. And we've got no other choice. And we don't want to get split up."

"Let's make a chain." Tim took her hand. "Coz we know we'll all end up together that way. This place is always trying to split us up and screw us over!"

"More hand holding?" Bullock was unimpressed.

Ally took Tim's hand and then reached out for Bullock.

"Ahh…" Bullock made a face, but then took Knox's hand anyway.

They slowly started through the mirror into the inverted hallway.

"Is it too late to change our minds?" Ally said nervously as his turn approached.

Bullock pushed him along. "TODAY, Knox…" He'd had enough of all the BS.

"Oooohhh…" Ally sounded anxious as he entered the darker hallway.

"YOU? Creeped out?" Tim turned to Ally in disbelief.

Knox had been nervous about the mirrors right from the beginning. And if he was nervous in his intoxicated state… well… there was probably a good reason for fear!

The Hatter watched from the darker side of the mirror. The Gotham crew was appearing slowly via chain before him.

"UM… interesting…" Jervis Tetch raised an eyebrow at them.

"What?" Reeves was defensive. "We fought like hell to find each other and stick together. We're not losing each other now."

Bullock was the last through and he realized, to his confusion, that his empty hand was not holding a BOOK. What?

He let go of Knox and looked for a title… but there wasn't one…

"I don't like this!" Ally unexpectedly grabbed him tightly. TOO tightly. It was hindering his breathing! Woah.

"Knox…" He managed to utter – trying to be patient, but clearly very annoyed.

"I want to wake up now." Ally's eyes were tightly closed, his face buried in Harvey's trench coat.

"…I'm gonna kill him…" Harvey warned, visibly trying to calm himself.

Tim remembered just how tight Ally's grip was in his crazed state. A flashback of he and Reeves being crushed came to mind… _"Ally… not… comfortable…" _

"He doesn't let go. We've had to bite him before." The boy told the detective matter-of-factly.

Arthur and Summer were distracted, looking around the room for their next move. Where did they go now? What happened now?

"Maybe one of these candlesticks opens a passage?" Summer suggested optimistically.

"I've tried them all." Hatter said casually.

They ignored him. He was right, after all. They couldn't trust a word he said.

"Hey! The door's back." Tim pointed to the other end of the hallway. It had appeared!

"It comes and goes." The Hatter shrugged indifferently. "It's unlocked."

"Then let's go." Arthur stepped forward.

"You won't like it." The Mad Hatter said simply.

"Why? … What's on the other side?" Arthur stopped and turned suspiciously.

"There's a reason he hasn't left this room." Summer realized gravely.

* * *

The rats were getting worse and worse… Jace was literally driving over them in order to move the car through the streets. It was really gross. But the witch boy absolutely LOVED it. He loved driving over the rats.

"Where are they all coming from?" Jace was getting exasperated.

"They usually HIDE, stupid." Klarion rolled his eyes. "In the allies, the dumpsters, in between walls… in the sewers… in nooks, crannies, cracks…"

"The sewers alone must house millions of them." Jace made a face. He ignored the fact that Klarion insulted him regularly still. It was better than being bullied with magic. He wasn't concerned about being turned into a Christmas tree or beach ball anymore. And this was a very good thing.

They drove like this until they hit another blocked street and had to try to turn around when there was virtually no room to do so. It was getting more and more difficult to navigate through the city by car.

It was suicide to get out and walk with all those rats. Jace suspected the rats would eat a person alive. They seemed ravenous. Crazed.

Klarion was growing frustrated. "I need food, drink and a safe place to sleep! I'm getting sick of this, damn it!"

But they slowly managed to turn around and they kept trying to drive anyway… surely they'd get SOMEWHERE and be able to do SOMETHING… But they had no luck.

Klarion lost his temper finally. "This town SUCKS. We can't get anywhere. We can't do anything. Everything is broken or burning or ruined… and the RATS are driving me crazy…"

Jace knew to be quiet.

"I think I'm finally annoyed enough to DO something about all this." The boy finished.

"What do you mean?" Jace ventured.

"Well, there's this stupid clown that thinks he's really something. And I've had just about enough of it!"

Joker. Jace blinked. He didn't like the sound of this.

"But I thought we were going on vacation…" He tried, smiling.

Klarion snapped angrily, "We can't do ANYTHING as it stands! I love death and destruction as much as the next kid, but this is getting just impossible. This arrogant jack ass needs to be put in his place! I want pizza, pepsi, a nap and then some roller coaster rides! And if he thinks he's going to STOP ME… well… well…"

The boy's face was flushed with anger.

They didn't speak for some time. Jace hoped the kid had gotten it out of his system.

But then the boy surprised him, "If I go to sleep… will you watch and make sure nothing gets me?"

Jace was taken aback and stumbled, "UM, of course. No problem."

"Take me to my Uncle Jason's house." The boy ordered. "I need to go there."

"You have family?" Jace blinked.

"NO." Klarion rolled his eyes. "I just call him that… because…" He trailed off, looking confused. He wasn't really sure WHY he called Jason his uncle. Partially to annoy his enemy… but partially because Jason Blood had been the only constant factor throughout the course of his life… It was an odd relationship, frankly.

"Where is this house?" Jace saw he needed to change the subject.

"Oh, forget it." Klarion snarled. "It's on the other side of town. We'll never get there like this. It will take DAYS at this rate…"

"We need to be careful, actually." Jace pointed to the gas gauge. "If you're too tired to use your magic we're going to need to conserve what gasoline we have-"

"My magic's FINE!" Klarion unexpectedly smacked Jace's face with an invisible hand.

Jace refused to look fazed. He just continued talking, "I'm just saying. We need to keep that in mind."

"I've had enough of rats and cars and useless yammering!" Klarion shouted rudely.

And then he made them both disappear. The cat remained alone in the passenger seat.

* * *

Arthur crawled as fast as humanly possible. And then he hit another gap. It took him only an instant to realize down was the only option. This was a similar chute to the one they'd initially come up, he supposed.

"We've got to go down!" He called back, starting down without hesitation.

"Down, down, down!" Ally ushered Summer, hearing Nightwing behind them.

Arthur hit the bottom and crawled towards the grate… but he realized to his dismay that it was bolted on the other side. Of course it was. OH NO!

He felt Summer slam into him. "How do we get out?" She demanded, terrified. These were one way access. No one was supposed to be on this side! Why would they be? It was crazy dangerous!

Arthur looked through the grate and realized it was a ceiling vent this time. It was along the ceiling, as opposed to the floor. So it was easily a ten foot drop as well! Moreover, they could now hear heavy gun fire. It sounded like there was a fire fight nearby.

All and all, it did not bode well for escaping via vents…

"Keep going, keep going!" Ally pushed them along the ceiling tunnel.

"If we hit a dead end…" Summer was visibly shaking in what little light there was.

"Can we take him in this enclosed space? Three on one?" Ally was out of breath. Every muscle ached. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep this up.

"NO." Arthur wasted no words.

As they crawled along the ceiling the sound of gun fire grew louder and louder…

* * *

Batman and Batgirl quickly fell back into another room and barricaded the door with professional efficiency. It would take their attackers several minutes to break down the door. They'd have to get creative out there.

The gun fire ceased and they finally had a moment to think and plan.

BANG! … BANG! … The others were working on breaking down the door. It didn't sound like they were working together either. How long before they figured something out?

Suddenly, a woman's scream was heard somewhere above. But from where?

"OH GOD! HE'S COMING!" The woman shrieked. It sounded like she was IN the ceiling.

Bruce and Barbara looked at each other and in perfect unison: "Summer Gleeson?"

It was probably coming from the ventilation system. That wasn't a bad idea. The building would have large shafts and chutes to slink around in… Hmm…

And then an angry male voice: "SHHH! You're helping him find us."

Arthur Reeves?

And then a third voice, another male: "Move it! He's coming!"

ALLY KNOX?

How many people were in there!

Red Claw had almost immediately broken away from the group when the fighting had started. She was implementing her own plan and it was going beautifully.

She had been disappointed Rat Catcher was not amongst the Coalition. He was powerful and she'd wanted him present. Yet she hadn't been able to contact him to recruit him. Fortunately, he was here now too. They were almost all here now. Just as she'd tried to ensure.

Silently she worked away at setting an enormous detonator. The bomb would take out several city blocks – killing every single super villain. Virtually all the major players in Gotham would be eliminated in one swipe of her claws.

She set the timer for fifteen minutes. Allowing herself escape time.

The men she'd brought with her were expendable. She had not informed them of the actual objective. They needed to remain in the fight in order to avoid suspicion. She could not risk detection.

Claw carefully started the timer. Then she stood up and disappeared into the shadows.

Jace Dryden suddenly found himself in a study. The room was dark, barely lit by some embers… Klarion lifted his hand and a fire burst to life again in the heath.

"Once I've really rested we'll deal with this stupid city." The boy muttered quietly.

Jace noticed a woman lying unconscious on the carpet nearby. UMM…

"That's what happens to people who boss me around." The witch boy muttered. And then he turned and looked at Dryden. "Just ignore her. She'll eventually die or something."

"But…" Jace looked troubled.

"She's dangerous." Klarion hissed. He didn't like Talia. She'd tried to take his power.

Jace looked unhappy. So Klarion added, "FINE. I'll deal with her LATER, ok?"

And then the boy walked tiredly over to the shelves of powders and pulled a white one down. He read the label to be certain and then slowly made a circle around himself. And then he went down on his knees…

He looked at Jace, simply exhausted.

"It's ok. I'll watch over you." The cameraman promised.

The boy sighed, dark circles under his eyes. He looked sickly. Teleporting had really drained him. He needed sleep more than ever now.

"Pass me that hourglass behind you." He finally spoke.

Jace carried the heavy thing over and set it down on the ground beside Klarion. The boy touched the glass as he examined the magical item. Then he said aloud, "Ok, 8 hours. This should work."

And then he turned to Jace, "Flip this when it runs out. I want to do it twice. It takes one hour to drain so two hours total. That will equal sixteen hours total for me within this circle. Do you understand?"

"No." Jace was honest.

"Just do as I say." Klarion looked very, very tried.

"Ok. I'll flip it." Jace promised.

Klarion lay down and tried to go to sleep. But he looked uneasy.

After a few minutes, he stood up and went back to the shelf, snatching a vial of blue powder down and reading the label. Quickly, he made another blue circle around the white circle.

"No offence." He said quietly, as though he felt guilty for doing so.

Jace didn't even pretend to understand.

The witch boy finished and lay back down within the double circle. He then said, "Wake me up when it runs out. I'll flip it myself. You won't be able to cross the blue line."

Jace blinked. OH! The boy couldn't sleep without that security. He couldn't bring himself to trust that much. Wow. No wonder he'd apologized. He'd tried, but he just didn't have that trust in him.

"Ok. I'll call you when it's time to flip it." He assured the boy.

But Klarion was already fast asleep. The second had felt safe, he just let go. He needed the sleep SO badly and had for such a long time.

Jace stood up and went to find the kitchen. They needed food and water. Apparently this process would only take two hours, but he couldn't wait that long.

* * *

The Mad Hatter and Scarecrow rushed up to the bi-plane, hurriedly tossing their work into the seats.

"Damn you, Jervis!" Crane was scowling. He knew very well what had happened back there. The Hatter had spared the Jersey cop and risked botching everything… While he had heard Jervis was being rehabilitated… he hadn't expected this sort of show of conscience. It was deadly!

"I'm sorry, Jon." The Hatter said sulkily, climbing into his seat.

The plane only sat two. And Hatter saw Scarecrow pocketing the antidote as he climbed into the driver's seat.

"What about Brown?" Jervis realized suddenly. "I promised. His dying daughter-"

"Forget Brown, damn it!" Crane had absolutely had ENOUGH of his friend's bleeding heart. Enough was enough was enough. LORD.

"But-"

"JERVIS." Crane snapped angrily. "It's one thing for your guilty conscience to get YOU caught! But I am NOT going back to Arkham for you!"

Crane tried to start the bi-plane… but it didn't turn over… UH OH.

He tried again and then again.

"What's wrong?" Jervis looked alarmed.

Scarecrow hopped out of the cockpit and started grabbing some tools from the floor of it. "Technical difficulties. Draw your gun. If anyone comes out that door, Jervis, so help me GOD…"

* * *

Brown, firing a shotgun in his dark cowboy clothes, looked like something right of the Wild West. He looked like Clint Eastwood! But he was really struggling against the rats and vines…

The gunslinger heard the bi-plane behind the building. It was starting up!

OH… NO…

"They're leaving without us! The bastards!" Two Face snarled, dangling in the air as he battled Ivy's killer vines.

Brown broke free from his attackers and ran back into the building. He rushed into the lab.

Sure enough, his so-called allies were gone. Their work was all cleared away. They had left in the bi-plane without him! There was no cure for his dying daughter. There was no hope anymore.

"THEY LEFT ME!" Brown screeched, grabbing a chair and throwing it through the nearest window. "THEY LEFT ME!" He started shrieking like a banshee, kicking and punching and slamming anything he could get at.

His daughter was as good as dead. He was as good as dead. They'd betrayed him and run off with any chance of an antidote. It was just… enraging… and terrifying… and…

Brown's eyes grew very wet… like he was about to cry…

And that's when he saw the fedora detective on the floor with a pretty, sick girl. He remembered this cop very, very well. Bullock had arrested he and his daughter. Sent them to Stonegate. He'd slammed the door on them, making some insulting joke at their expense.

And now here he was... wounded and sitting there vulnerable to take the wrath of the wronged, doomed cowboy.

Brown raised his shotgun and pointed it directly at Harvey without a word.

"They're probably still out back. Sounds like they can't get it started." Harvey said as calmly as he could under the circumstances. There was no surviving a shotgun blast at this range.

"Shut. Up." Brown said dangerously, his eyes clearly aiming…

And then he stood up straight, lowered the gun and seemed to change his mind.

He pulled out a revolver and two bullets. He loaded only two bullets randomly without really looking and then he spun the cylinder very quickly. It went round and round at top speed. There were six chambers in the cylinder and now only two random ones were full.

Bullock knew exactly what was about to happen, but there was nothing he could do.

Brown aimed the gun at the detective, still clearly upset. His hand was shaking. He couldn't stop thinking about how his daughter was dead…

Harvey couldn't think of any way out. And he wouldn't know when the bullet was coming. His mind raced, but he was at a total loss. What could he DO? … He loved old Westerns, but this was NOT how he wanted to go… He just wanted to grab Paige and go home. Why couldn't this night just be OVER?

Fear set in. Harvey realized his luck had finally run out.

Brown glared hatefully. "Flirt with my daughter… mock us… Who's laughing now?"

Harvey refused to give him the satisfaction of an answer. He refused to show he was frightened. He wasn't clever enough or charismatic enough to talk his way out of this. Talking would only make it worse. He had that effect on people.

But Paige couldn't be silent. She tried to move. "No, please-" She started.

Brown fired.

"AH!" Paige was startled. She flinched in alarm as she cried out.

But it had just clicked. One of the empty chambers.

Before either Harvey or Paige could relax or reset… Brown fired again.

Click.

"AH!" Paige had flinched again, unable to bare it. "STOP IT! Please!" She reacted. She couldn't take the suspense. She pressed against Harvey.

Harvey was having similar reactions internally, but there was no way he'd show it.

Brown coldly fired again.

Paige sobbed and flinched, this time grabbing Harvey's arm as the cowboy fired. She'd actually managed to move! It would have been a great victory had she even noticed. She wasn't thinking about anything like that now. She'd just reflexively grabbed for him, startled and upset.

But it clicked again.

Only three chambers left and two definitely had bullets. This was sure to be it.

Harvey braced himself for the fourth time.

He didn't have any last words or last thoughts. He was just frightened. All he could do was squeeze Paige's knee. He wasn't really thinking about it. He likely was subconsciously needing the contact. Interesting, considering he'd always expected to die alone.

Paige interpreted the squeeze as meaning – _It's ok. Calm down._ That fit his character. Playing it cool and tough and thinking about HER. But that wasn't what it was at all. Dying was an extremely scary thing and needing touch was a natural response.

Brown aimed darkly. And Paige tightened her grip on Harvey's arm. "Please-"

Brown fired.

* * *

Outside the battle raged on…

Poison Ivy had sprayed some chemicals that were somewhat slowing down the rats.

But unbeknownst to everyone… a timer was ticking away silently…

The bomb sat undetected amongst the chaos.

13:43… 13:42… 13:41…

* * *

Tim suddenly noticed that Bullock was holding a book.

"Where'd you get that?" The boy demanded, surprised.

"It just appeared in my hand when I crossed over." The detective was slowly squeezing his way out of Knox's tight grasp.

"And you were going to mention this… WHEN?" Reeves reverted to his rudeness.

Harvey was ticked. "When this moron loosened his death grip, ok? Maybe if you people stopped yammering about doorways and creepy candles-"

Tim snagged the book from the detective's hands and started flipping through it quickly. "The writing is all messed up." He snorted. "Look! It's screwy."

Bullock grabbed it back. "You do this." He said irritably, holding the book up to the mirror.

Sure enough, the writing on the page was inverted so that it appeared normally when held up to the glass mirrors.

"It's just some dumb poem." The detective was dismissive. Poetry wasn't his thing.

"I'll be the judge of that." Arthur stepped forward and started reading. And then he frowned, "OK, ya. It's more Wonderland gibberish."

Tim looked at the book in Arthur's hand. "Jabberwocky?" He said. "What's that?"

"Beware the Jabberwock." Arthur read. "...the jaws that bite, the claws that catch… with eyes of flame…"

Ally covered his ears and turned abruptly away in fright. But no one really noticed.

"Disturbing." Tim frowned, looking at the words. "It's a story about someone slaying a dragon or something…"

"Wonder why we're supposed to read this right now?" Arthur looked up from the book. "Hopefully this warning isn't… well…"

"This is all so eerie." Summer didn't like it. She hugged herself uneasily.

She then turned and saw that Ally looked very frightened.

"You ok?" She asked him with concern.

The Hatter suddenly interrupted, quietly singing to himself:

_`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves  
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:  
All mimsy were the borogoves,  
And the mome raths outgrabe._

"Mome raths?" Knox looked up from his nervousness.

"The outspoken, overconfident Alexander Knox not knowing something… HMM…" The Hatter smirked slyly.

"I don't recognize most of the words…" Ally looked down sadly.

"Oh really?" Hatter raised an eyebrow. "The great know-it-all doesn't know his slithy toves. My, my, my…"

"Not all of us took Crazy Babble 101, ok?" Bullock snapped in the background.

But Knox didn't hear this. "Well…" He sighed unhappily. "I suppose I am a little arrogant sometimes… I must have missed mome raths somewhere along the way…"

"And YOU know what it is?" Arthur snapped at the Hatter, coming to Knox's defense. Much like he'd come to Bullock's defense earlier against the Riddler. Knox was already rattled and Hatter was preying on him on purpose. Arthur didn't like these people attacking his… well… teammates?

"Of course." The Hatter spoke carelessly. "Mome raths are pigs who can't find their way home."

"Coz we need a word for that." Bullock rolled his eyes.

"What's mimsy?" Ally asked sadly. "I've never heard that adjective."

"Flimsy and miserable combined." Hatter shrugged. "Pretty obvious, actually."

"I should have known that." Knox agreed.

"And borogoves?" Tim asked curiously, still looking at the words.

"Shaggy birds that look like mops." The Hatter answered simply.

"I like boroboves better." Knox muttered quietly. As though defeated.

"But that's not a word." Hatter smirked triumphantly.

"Neither's borogoves. It's all stupid crap." Arthur interrupted rudely.

"Boro_**boves**_ are happy. Whatever they are, they're happy." Ally said quietly.

"Of course they are." Summer said kindly.

"Alright! Enough slithy toves and boroboves and all of it!" Bullock lost his temper.

"I'm checking the door." Arthur went and opened the unlocked door. "It's time to see…" And he trailed off, looking out into an endless maze of doors and halls. Just all jumbled together and confusing. It was extremely daunting. Overwhelming just to look at.

"What the HELL?" Summer did a double take. "How…?"

And then they sensed it. They sort of heard it too. The lighting was very dim.

Reeves immediately slammed the door. Frightened.

"Woah." Tim said uneasily. "Something not right."

Ally gulped, "It's a maze and we don't want to find out what's at the center."

"Agreed." Reeves stepped back. "There's something in there."

"Well…" Bullock grumbled. "We can't just stay in HERE forever and bicker about boroboves. Sooner or later we've got to face whatever it is."

Reeves gave the detective a very sad expression. "I know. But…" He couldn't finish his sentence. There was nothing to be said.

The Hatter looked very grim. "However this is going to end… It ends here…"

Bullock realized the pages of his book had changed. He held the change up for the others to see. It was NOT a sign of good things to come.

Each page showed the same frightening image. A black and white drawing of a monster.

A terrifying, dark dragon monster… the teeth… the claws… the eyes…

"Be VERY careful which doors you pick out there." Bullock felt numb.

**A/N: Reviews are greatly appreciated. They motivate me to finish this. Almost there. ^^**


	18. Battles and Bisou Kiss

**ALL MIMSY WERE THE BOROBOVES**

**Chapter 18: Battles and Bisou (Kiss) **

---

Disclaimer: I don't pretend to own anything Batman or Wonderland.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Did I mention I love reviews? Please review. :p

Hmm… I'm thinking of putting an appendix at the very end to let people know where everyone and everything is from. If I'm not too lazy… and if anyone even cares…

Again, envisioning the original BTAS drawing style. Not the newer look.

---

Veronica Vreeland sat on the ground, her arms wrapped around her bent legs and her face in her thighs. She didn't know exactly how much time had passed since Harvey was taken, but she knew it was long enough that… well… She wasn't going to see him ever again. He was dead by now for sure.

She didn't even want to imagine what the Scarecrow had done to him.

She hadn't spoken since they'd taken him away. She felt TERRIBLE about it. And she wasn't even sure exactly why. She hadn't known him very well. He was sort of a jerk really, right?

Yet he had saved her life several times. And they'd shared a few touching moments… and… Oh wow. The thought of him being DEAD was upsetting. He'd really deserved to live. He'd done so much for others when he really didn't have to! He had really tried to help her… and Paige… and well… She didn't want him to be dead!

She realized they'd soon come for Gil. And then she'd really be alone. And she was terrified by the prospect. She didn't want to be alone during this crisis. Things might never be the same again. Her family might all be dead somewhere burned up. She did NOT want to be ALONE!

The earth began to shake… giant vines burst through the shiny metal floor…

"OH MY GOD!" Veronica wailed.

Gil Mason pressed against a wall as the thick vines spiraled upward. "It's gotta be Poison Ivy!" He shouted to Ronnie over the thunderous sound. "She must be attacking!"

"No one's coming, Gil." Veronica sobbed. Not Batman. Not Harvey. No one was coming to save her. She was finally realizing it.

---

"So…" Tim Drake was looking back and forth between the adult faces above. No one was making any decisions. They kept talking in circles and lapsing into silence.

"I just don't want to!" Ally blurted out emotionally. Here we go again…

"We've GOT to get on with it." Bullock was becoming all the more ill-tempered as this dragged on and on. "We can't just hang out in this room… We'll either get entranced or die of thirst. Whichever comes first!"

Summer frowned, "We only get weaker with each passing minute. We need DO something. We're going to fall asleep!"

"We can't just go out there and face a dragon." Arthur insisted. "It's suicide."

"HELLO - So is staying in this freaking room!" Bullock lost his temper.

"OH, well excuse me, Bully." Arthur was angry. "I didn't realize you were an accomplished dragon slayer. Hiding a sword somewhere?"

"I think the key is to AVOID the dragon." Bullock snarled.

"There MIGHT be a way out via the maze." Tim agreed cautiously. "It's better than just staying here and waiting to die for sure."

"Perhaps there's another alternative we don't see…" Reeves spoke halfheartedly. He was tiring of the fruitless argument. He would cave soon. They could read him well after all they'd been through.

"We've crossed this bridge together many times, Arthur." Summer sighed. "We have to take risks to get anywhere around here. And staying anywhere too long is a death sentence. The idea is to trap us here so we succumb."

Arthur looked sad and defeated. "I know. I just wish we didn't have to choose between Death A and Death B. I hate death."

And then looked up a smiled a small smile. He'd tried for humour.

"Ok. So it's settled. We're going out there." Tim announced.

"NOOO…" Ally moaned.

"You can hold my hand." Summer promised, pretending to be brave. Really, she needed the comfort as much as he did.

Knox whined, "Can't we flip a coin?"

"I didn't realize the choice between certain death and maybe living was such a freaking quandary!" Bullock scowled impatiently. "Seems like a no brainer to me! But then again, you've got no brain…"

Summer glared at him. He coldly ignored her. Back to square one for them already. Any thaw never lasted long.

"HEADS – I win. TAILS – you lose." Ally announced the terms, producing a coin. "Here we go."

"Ally…" Arthur saw through these terms instantly.

Ally flipped the coin, but Arthur snatched it out of the air. "Ally. Come on."

Suddenly the door slammed. They looked over and realized the Mad Hatter had already made his decision and left.

Bullock was exasperated. "We're always dicking around!"

---

Two hours had nearly passed. Little Klarion lay within the white and blue circles, sleeping restlessly with a police officer's cap falling down over his eyes. Even within the safety of the circle, he could not sleep peacefully. He stirred… he did not look peaceful...

_Poor kid._ Jace Dryden thought to himself, eating another sandwich from the cushioned chair by the fire. He was curled up comfortably, waiting for the sand to drain for the second time.

Without electricity, peanut butter sandwiches had been an easy thing to whip up. He had a plate of them waiting for the boy. With some bottled water.

Even the pickiest kids would probably settle for peanut butter, right? Unless of course they had a peanut allergy. Umm…

The sand finally finished and Jace hesitated. He wasn't really sure what to call the kid. He'd managed to avoid it thus far.

Resourcefully, he hit the poker against the stone fireplace noisily.

Klarion sprang awake, startled. He looked around fearfully… and then his eyes rested on Jace and he relaxed. "Is it time?"

"Yes. Here's some food and water." Jace said simply.

"Thank GOODNESS." The boy rushed forward ravenously. "It has been 16 hours and I was hungry and thirsty when I fell asleep."

"16 hours?" Dryden blinked.

"I explained it already…" The boy stuffed his mouth full of sandwich. "That hour glass makes time go much faster within the circle. I experienced eight hours for every one hour you experienced. Thus, I got the benefit of 16 hours sleep though we only lost two hours time."

Jace could barely understand the child, his mouth was so full. The cameraman became nervous he would choke. "Woah. Slow down. Chew."

Klarion ignored him. "I needed to regenerate quickly so we-"

But he suddenly couldn't talk. He started to cough intensely.

UH OH.

"Woah…" Jace was nervous. He tried to pat the boy on the back, but Klarion pulled away distrustfully. Though he was still hacking.

Finally, the witch boy got it under control. He'd almost choked. AH.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you not to wolf down food like that? Especially while TALKING?" Jace was mortified. "You'll choke-"

"Don't nag me!" Klarion shouted at him angrily.

The boy started chugging down water rapidly. He was dehydrated. He then set down the bottle and said rudely, "Come. The clown is nearby. We'll walk. I need to conserve all my energy for the battle."

"Battle?" Jace uneasily remembered the boy's temper tantrum earlier.

"Hmm…" Klarion walked over to the shelves of rare magical items. "I may as well grab some small items of use… Some rings or bracelets or whatever that might come in handy."

Very little looked worthwhile, though. He couldn't take any of the heavy items and there weren't very many tiny ones. He didn't recognize much of what he saw… and what he did recognize he wasn't really sure how to use! He wasn't an experienced mage, after all. He was just a boy with no one to apprentice from.

After a second, he snatched an amulet and tucked it in a pocket quickly. He recognized it from his readings. He was _fairly_ certain he knew how to use it. Hopefully he didn't accidentally hurt himself, though.

"What does that do?" Jace asked him.

Klarion didn't answer.

"Now…" The witch boy went into the kitchen. "I need a helmet…" He pulled a few pots out from under the counter. "No… no…"

"How very Tweedledee of you." Jace tried to smile.

"That was a stupid book." Klarion was rude and blunt, not even looking.

Jace suddenly wondered how the boy had learned to read without parenting. Had he attended school at some point? Probably not. He was having great difficulty fathoming this child's background story. Perhaps he could get it out of him somehow. But how?

"Have you read many books?" Jace ventured carefully.

Klarion was chucking pots here and there with loud banging and clanging. "Millions and millions. With my powers I can flutter through hundreds of pages in seconds and retain all the information. Admittedly, most of my reading has pertained to witchcraft."

There were moments the witch boy seemed so grown up. His vocabulary was highly developed. Probably due to all that damn reading. All that knowledge he'd soaked up like a sponge.

And yet, all the fancy words and archaic knowledge in the universe was totally useless to him if he didn't know anything about LIVING. He hadn't been exposed to much of ANYTHING, really. He lacked practical knowledge and social knowledge altogether! He was under socialized and hadn't been introduced to so many simple, basic things of everyday life.

He was a child that didn't know how to be a child. When he tried to laugh or play it seemed forced and unnatural. No matter how adult he pretended to be, he was still just a little boy. The boy in him showed through again and again…

Here he was digging through the cupboards for a pot helmet. Like an innocent little boy his age would naturally do during play. But he wasn't completely innocent. He was partially innocent. He wanted to KILL someone. Jace sensed it. This was a BATTLE.

"AH. This will do nicely." Klarion placed a black pot on his head with the dark handle sticking out the back on a downward angle. It looked decent.

"Now…" The boy stood. "I need… AH. Here." He picked up a rolling pin. And then he went and admired his reflection in a nearby mirror.

"ACK." He dropped the rolling pin. "I look ridiculous."

He immediately snatched up the black iron poker for the kitchen fire and admired his reflection a second time. "MUCH better." He smiled, pleased.

And then he noticed his abandoned police cap on the ground, crumpled. He looked sad for a moment. He picked it up and looked at it, thinking to himself silently. Then he tucked it in his pants' pocket. He squished it up so that it fit. He wasn't going anywhere without it, clearly.

Jace had long noticed the boy's attachment to the cap. What was THAT about? Another mystery. There were so many unanswered questions. Who was this boy? How did he have these powers? And who was Uncle Jason if he wasn't an uncle? How had this kid survived without a family for so long?

Jace stepped before the mirror. He was still wearing the bucket hat Klarion had forced him to wear hours earlier. "Do I need a helmet?" He smiled in his friendly way.

"NO. You won't be fighting, Jace. You aren't a warrior." Klarion was blunt.

"OH." Jace stepped back. "I see."

"But you're coming of course." The boy said hurriedly. Almost nervous.

This boy was so frightened underneath his anger and his attitude. He didn't trust anyone or anything. He felt the need to control. He didn't want to be alone and yet he didn't know how to interact with others at all. He seemed to want to be accepted. He seemed desperate fill the empty void in his life with another person. To connect with someone. And yet he didn't know HOW. He wanted someone to care for him and to LOVE him… and yet he was frightened and uncertain and… well… somewhat EVIL really.

It was a very complicated situation and Jace wasn't sure what to make of it! The boy needed someone and yet he didn't know how to have someone.

Klarion marched towards the front door. Jace knew he was supposed to follow.

"But what about that woman?" Jace remembered and motioned to the study.

"She tried to steal my powers." Klarion answered coldly. "I can't waste precious energy dealing with her right now. After the battle."

And they stepped out into the cool morning air. The sky was less dark and the sunrise would start soon.

"How did everything fall apart so fast?" Jace looked at the skyline tiredly. Within 24 hours, Gotham had completely collapsed. It was in ruins. He'd never expected to live the night. And yet… here he was… alive.

"Come. Now." Klarion ordered. He looked very serious, despite his silly battle gear.

---

Only three chambers remained and two definitely had bullets in them…

Paige couldn't bare it. This was just torture. She didn't pause to wonder why she cared so much, she was just reacting. She didn't want this to happen!

Gripping Harvey, she saw the trigger being pulled. She couldn't stand it! She wanted to save him. She wanted to DO something! She felt like she was going to explode. She cried out, "No, PLEASE-"

BOOM!

Harvey felt the bullet. He was shocked. The blow knocked his hat off.

His gold-brown eyes were wide… as though he was utterly astonished…

Blood hit Paige's face. She looked terrified.

Even in his stunned state, he knew she was screaming and crying… She reached for his face…

The pain made the wounded area unmistakable. He'd taken it hard in the shoulder. It had stunned him deeply! He might go into shock…

Brown had deliberately done this. He was a gunslinger and he would not miss at such close range. No, there was a reason Brown had put TWO bullets in the cylinder. This was meant to be _insanely_ torturous.

NOW he would go for the kill shot.

Paige, who had just been hurled through a whirlwind of horrible emotions, realized that Harvey was only wounded. But just as she was thankful, she realized Brown was aiming again! This time for the chest! And it all became so agonizingly clear. She just couldn't take it.

Her eyes widened in horror and she just couldn't handle any more!

"NOOO!!!" She shrieked, lunging forward.

Brown fired, just as Paige threw herself in front of Harvey.

"PAIGE!" Harvey panicked, realizing what was happening.

Harvey saw it all happening before it did. Monroe came down on top of him, her back to the gun. Her face was before his. Their eyes locked, both clearly terrified.

He expected her to take it in the back. To die face to face with him in shock.

And yet, the bullet never came.

CLICK.

They froze like this. Gripping each other so tightly, face to face, eyes filled with terror and intensity. Their pulses were thundering and their intense breathing was visible… Everything seemed to slow down…

Harvey realized that final bullet was coming. He had to push Paige away. He might only have a mere second.

But she wouldn't let go. Her dark eyes were intensely searching his frightened gold-brown ones. She wouldn't him let go. They were locked in a highly intense moment.

"MOVE!" Brown roared, savagely kicking Paige aside.

Paige stifled a sharp cry of pain as she took the blow and hit the hard floor. To Brown's amazement, the girl actually tried to sit up and defy him. She tried to crawl back to the detective…

"Paige. NO." Harvey used his warning tone. "It's ok."

But she didn't listen.

And he found himself getting angry with her. "PAIGE."

Brown kicked her back down. But Paige had had enough. Snapping, she sprang at him and grabbed at him and… UH OH…

The gunslinger knocked her down again. And then he started to pummel her savagely. Kick after kick after kick. The blows made a sickening sound and her face was soon bloodied.

If there was one thing that drove Harvey into an absolute RAGE, it was THIS kinda crap! You did NOT beat on women. Call him old fashioned, but he'd been raised to protect and cherish women. Every time he couldn't save a girl in trouble it haunted him. You did not, not, NOT kick the life out of a defenseless girl on the ground!

Blind with rage, he lunged at the distracted Brown. The gun went off, but fortunately no one was hit by the bullet.

Within an instant, Harvey was on top of Brown beating the hell out of him. His fists were just dropping bombs on the guy…

"Harvey, HARVEY!" Paige grabbed his arm, blood still on her face.

Brown was unconscious, but Harvey couldn't stop. This was the reason he was always in trouble for excess force. He just got so damn ANGRY.

"You got him! You got him!" Paige was screaming at him, pulling on him.

Harvey felt her hand on his arm and he stayed his next blow, his fist frozen in the air. He took a second to collect himself and he lowered it. If he had a flaw, it was his freaking rage…

He then turned to her angrily: "NO ONE'S allowed to hit you like that!"

"And if I was well, I'd have let him know. Trust me." She assured him. She had been an amazing fighter before this night.

This seemed to pacify him. The red drained from his face… and he let out a loud, shaky sigh…

And then he risked a glance up at her, through his messy bangs. "Bastard did a real number on you, honey." He touched her face and showed her the blood. "I shouldn't have let him."

A soft smile crossed her pretty face.

And then their eyes connected and everything else was gone.

They leaned in to kiss.

And then they heard clapping. And they FROZE.

Someone was applauding.

Paige and Harvey turned and realized Two Face was standing there.

---

Arthur opened the door and stepped out into the maze anxiously.

"OK. We've got to stick together." Summer's voice was shaky.

"Ya. Good luck with that." Bullock said bluntly. The maze was crazy complicated. And this place just loved splitting them up.

"Keep your eyes peeled for potential weapons." Tim spoke seriously.

"What do you know about weapons, kid?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"What do YOU know about weapons!?" Tim got defensive.

And then they turned to Bullock expectantly.

"If I'd had my gun I would have used it a long time ago." Harvey said flatly.

"Well…" Ally turned around. "This has been really FUN, guys, but…"

"AH-ah-ah." Arthur grabbed him by the collar. "We're in this together."

"I knew he'd come around." Tim whispered to Summer, smirking. (Arthur was of course MEANT to hear this and he rolled his dark eyes.)

"Where'd the Hatter go?" Ally looked around, his voice unsteady.

"Who cares? Hopefully the dragon's chomping him." Bullock said rudely.

"HARVEY." Summer glared at him.

"He's right!" Arthur snapped. "Hopefully Hatter's running around as dragon bait so we can escape unscathed. We need a decoy-distraction if we're going to survive!"

"Um, I wasn't serious." Bullock blinked.

"Let me guess?" Arthur hissed grumpily. "You want to save HATTER now too?"

Bullock knew when someone was picking a fight. "Hey-"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Tim covered his ears.

"Nice, Tim." Arthur scowled. "This is exactly why I've always objected to Bruce taking on foster kids. Benjamins don't replace parenting!"

Tim gasped and looked extremely offended.

And suddenly… Bullock, Reeves and Drake were in a three-way scuffle.

Summer couldn't believe this. She turned and looked up at the sign posted over the arch above them.

HALL OF ANGER

"UM!" She grabbed Ally. "We should move on… Help me usher them out…"

They went into another hallway. HALL OF SORROW.

"Oh great." Summer looked uneasy. "No matter where we go we're going to be overwhelmed by our feelings."

"I wonder what's behind all the doors…" Ally pondered aloud. "Sorrow?"

"Well, don't touch anything." Gleeson warned. "We need a plan."

Arthur calmed down. "Let's try a door and see what happens."

He pulled one open and immediately recognized what he saw… A sad scene from his past. He was a very small boy. Around six years old. Not too long after he'd moved to the farm to live with his grandfather.

He was sobbing and carrying a little dog… It was dying in his arms, all bloody_._

He remembered it well. He was still getting used to his new life, his new community. He was wandering around in a daze. People spoke only English here and very rapidly. He was distracted… looking around…

The small dog had wiggled free from his arms and had started running around the street all hyper and excitable… running through traffic… It darted right underneath a passing truck, between the wheels…

He'd desperately called it and called it, sensing what was going to happen, but it hadn't been properly trained. His parents had never gotten the chance to train the damn thing before they…

_Bisou! Ici! … BISOU! _

The dog had dodged the first wheels… but not the second…

The sound had pierced Arthur to the marrow. Just horrible.

The dog had scurried off the road in agony. Yelp after yelp of agony. He'd tried to calm it down. It was in very rough shape!

He was worried it would bite him when he tried to lift it. It was in too much pain to think clearly. It wouldn't want to be touched!

But the dog started dying abruptly and the boy was able to pick it up… He walked briskly… He cut through yards…

And this walk was the scene Arthur was seeing now. He was seeing the SAD part. The bloody, tearful aftermath.

He saw himself carrying the little dog in his arms to the vet's place. It was just a few blocks away. A few more doors…

The dog died in his arms as he knocked on the front door…

The vet opened the door and saw a little boy with clothing soaked with dark blood. Hands glistening. Smears of blood on his face.

"My God!" The man was shocked.

Adult Arthur closed the door on the memory. "OK…" He said awkwardly, realizing everyone had just watched that. How embarrassing. But he was more stunned than anything. He'd practically re-experienced that moment! He'd almost completely blocked that terrible morning out, now it was back.

"Was that YOU?" Tim blinked.

"Ya. That was my memory." Arthur said defensively. He felt his face flush.

"You were so little!" Summer was shocked. "Why were you all alone to deal with that? What happened?" She couldn't believe it. He'd been what… six years old, maybe?

Arthur suddenly felt very judged and it angered him. All he'd had left of his old life was that damn dog and he hadn't been able to keep it alive either.

He'd made a mistake and it was a terrible way to begin a new life in a new place. What a first impression to make. He'd felt so judged by the gossipers.

Reeves collected himself and replied coldly, "I should have had him on a leash. Lesson learned."

Ally ended the tension by opening another door.

A scene existed inside in which he was sitting in a dark bedroom… he was also a little boy… clutching a man's cap and crying…

Knox looked at the others sadly and then slowly closed the door. "This is a place for sad memories." He said with a quiet gloom.

Tim realized how dangerous it was for him to open any doors. It might reveal to the others that he was Robin. That was a constant danger for him. To reveal he was Robin in front of two media legends, a city councilman and a top cop! Oh my GOD! He'd never really thought of it like that. They were the worst possible group of people to discover he was Robin! They all had a vested interest in determining Batman's secret identity. They'd make the obvious link to Bruce and his billions of dollars. It was a very scary thought.

"Are we supposed to go INTO the memories? We can't just keep wandering through these hallways like this." Summer wondered.

"I feel as though… we're supposed to find the right door. We're just to keep opening doors and by chance hopefully find a way out of here." Tim said, thinking it out slowly as he spoke. He was distracted by his worry.

Arthur opened another door and this time it revealed another hallway of doors. "I think you're right, Tim." He pointed.

"But the dragon is gonna be behind one of these doors. Or hiding in one of these memories." Ally said nervously.

"It's all a matter of luck, really." Arthur said gravely.

---

Klarion swung his poker as he marched towards the gallery…

"Joker's in there?" Jace sounded nervous.

The boy wasn't really listening. He was thinking to himself seriously. And then he said aloud, "Drats. We really should have made a banner or something. You should be like my herald. We're marching into battle totally unprepared… Hmm… my face is red…"

"Umm…" Jace frowned, confused.

"You really should be flying my colours." The boy turned to him.

"Which are?" The cameraman asked.

"I haven't decided yet." Klarion said dismissively with a very trivializing gesture. "They should be flown nonetheless."

"Uh-huh." Jace bit his tongue and fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Well…" Klarion summoned himself to his full height. "We're nearly there, Jace. Be sure to stay back out of harms way. You're not the warrior type. You're bound to be… oh, decapitated or something…"

Jace followed along, shaking his head in disbelief. Oy.

If he'd paused to reflect, he would have realized how significant it was that Klarion didn't want him to get hurt. But he didn't really notice.

---

Two Face was applauding slowly and deliberately. "Well done, Harv. You've got more lives than a cat, my friend."

Bullock's heart sank. Every single time he thought they were safe… Every time he finally started to relax and think it was over… it was never over… He just wasn't meant to live.

Two Face came forward and nudged Brown with his foot. "Hm… Execution by Russian Roulette. An old favourite of mine. Appeals to my love of chance."

Bullock said nothing. He just watched Two Face, trying to mask his intensity… expecting a bullet to fly unpredictably. He couldn't survive ANOTHER shot. He was probably bleeding out already.

Dent checked out the damage on Brown. "Eesh. Triple wounded and you're still a monster." He said approvingly. "You are one scrappy bastard, Harv."

And then he picked up Bullock's fedora and handed it to him. "Maybe someday I'll get ya on my side." And with that he started walking away.

"Maybe somebody you'll come back to my side." Bullock muttered.

Two Face smirked and ruffled the detective's hair. "Nah."

And then he headed out of the lab, calling back, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a plane to catch. Sounds like someone's having a little engine trouble."

Bullock watched Dent walk away. And then he stared at the fedora that had been respectfully handed to him. It took him a minute to fully process what had just happened. But then it hit him like a ton of bricks. WOAH.

He'd just been spared in a big way. It wasn't like Dent to show mercy. He hadn't even bothered to flip his coin. He'd just… well…

He supposed it came down to history. And respect. But he couldn't count on that ever again.

That was the kind of card you could only play once.

---

They walked into the next hallway, unable to find a plaque that determined the theme.

"Maybe not all the halls are themed collections of memories." Arthur shrugged.

He hated the fact that he'd shared such a private, personal memory with these people. Even if he was starting to feel ok with them. He was sort of starting to… well… LIKE was too strong. CARE was too strong. But something positive, he supposed. He didn't want to lose them, anyway.

"I want to do one of those cool upside-down staircases we saw." Tim announced. "You know, like in those messed up paintings."

"I just want to go home." Ally said quietly.

It was unusual for Ally not to be excited about an upside-down staircase.

Arthur glanced at Knox uneasily. "We're not in the sad hall anymore, Ally."

"This whole place is sad." Knox mumbled to himself.

"Well…" Bullock looked displeased. "We'd better start checking random doors for our next move."

Nobody volunteered.

"I've risked two." Arthur said defensively. "Time somebody else showed a little soul."

Summer opened a door apprehensively and then relaxed. She and some girlfriends were painting each other's toenails on her bed in early high school. They were nonchalantly chatting about their lives… It now all seemed so cliché now.

"Hmm…" She said absently. "I haven't painted my nails in a long time."

Bullock rolled his eyes and pulled the door closed. "NEXT."

Tim realized he needed to come up with a very good reason for not opening doors. Everyone else was doing it. UM…

Ally opened a door. He looked about 20 years old. His red curls were a little longer and shaggier and all over the place carelessly. He looked happy.

"Hey! Check this out!" He was climbing up a tree.

"Ally…" His girlfriend said nervously. "Come on. You'll fall."

"RELAX." He said dismissively.

Ally closed the door. He smiled fondly, "I fell and broke my arm."

Arthur shook his head in disbelief. That wasn't how you climbed a tree! Knox was lucky he hadn't broken his neck! There was a way to do it. Growing up on the farm Arthur had been able to scramble easily to the very, VERY top of virtually any tree. Even in flip flops.

But he didn't say anything. He was done being so critical. There was just no need for it. He was sad and tired. It just started arguments.

Bullock and Tim still hadn't opened any doors. And Reeves didn't want to anymore. Well, nobody really wanted to. It was embarrassing! This was probably the whole point behind it. They would never escape because nobody wanted to reveal their most private, private… ERRR… It was AWFUL!

"This is a masterful way to imprison someone." Arthur had to admit.

They all stood in silence for a moment. No one wanted to go next.

And then Reeves had it. He smiled.

He opened a door very quickly and closed it again right away. "See? That's all that's required. Just a quick check to see if it is a memory or a pathway… or a dragon, I suppose. Just open and close. We don't all have to watch everything. It isn't efficient to do it that way anyway. Let's all just open as many doors as we can really quickly to get through this maze."

"Ya, that's much faster and no one gets uncomfortable." Summer liked this very, very much. Nothing embarrassing or secret would be shown.

Arthur started opening doors rapidly. "We're looking for another hallway or place to go. So keep looking quickly until you find the next pathway."

Tim looked very grateful. "Good idea, Reeves."

"Thank you. I'm full of them." Arthur smirked.

They all started opening doors all over the place. There were dozens of doors in that hallway alone. They saw flashes of their lives all over the place, but no one was stopping to watch anything anymore. They were disciplined and they were looking for a way out…

"Try to be systematic about it." Arthur called. "We don't wanna miss anything."

"This is one way to stop the dragon from pouncing." Ally's voice came cheerfully from the other end of the hall. "Slam the door in his face!" He liked that notion very much. He was sounding more like himself now.

"I don't actually SENSE the dragon." Tim admitted, closing a door loudly. "He must not be around here right now."

Arthur envisioned the dragon chasing Hatter. Hm, maybe Hatter was a team player after all… OK, not funny. He wouldn't say it out loud. He wasn't in the mood to have Summer start up again. His spirits were too low for it.

"Maybe that's why Ally's happier…" Summer whispered, motioning to Knox.

"_I got a feelin'… Woo hoo… That tonight's gonna be a good night. That tonight's gonna be a good night…" _Knox was singing to himself as he playfully opened doors in all sorts of silly ways as quickly as he could. He was suddenly enjoying himself again.

Tim ended up near Arthur during the search. The boy couldn't silence his curiosity. So he said carefully, "Was that your dog?"

"Ya." Arthur said bluntly, opening doors without looking at Tim.

"What was his name?" Tim couldn't imagine Arthur Reeves liking a dog.

"_Bisou_." Arthur said without feeling. He was surprised he remembered. It was a lifetime ago. A totally different life that was hard to recall.

"HUH?" Tim said disbelievingly. Sounded pretentious. He doubted he could even pronounce that! Arthur had said it with a hardcore accent, in fact. His voice had sounded totally different.

"What?" Arthur was offended by Tim's attitude about it. It was an extremely common dog name! Or… at least… Right. It probably wasn't used here. English dog names were like… Rex, Rover, Fido, Spot… That kinda weird stuff.

They just stopped talking. It wasn't worth it.

They continued to check door after door after door. It was getting tiresome. This whole Wonderland experience was one exhausting test after another. And if you stopped to rest, you died. Lovely.

"I'm so thirsty." Tim told Summer sadly.

"_Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Saturday and Sunday." _Ally continued to sing to himself as he moved down the hall.

Bullock caught himself quietly humming. He sharply stopped himself. ERR. Montoya always turned up the volume for this one. And it was played several times a day on the radio right now. In the office, in the cruiser. It tended to run through his head for a while after he heard it. It was catchy like that. Damn.

Ally continued to work his way down the hallway… _"Let's live it up and do it. And do it. And do it…Let's live it up and…"_

"I'm glad someone is in high spirits again." Arthur sighed tiredly.

"I thought you found it ANNOYING." Summer reminded him.

Arthur for once was left without a comeback. It had been annoying… and now it was… well, sort of reassuring.

He turned to Gleeson, "Someone needs to be optimistic. He's grown on me. What can I say?"

"BINGO." Bullock swung a door wide open.

Sure enough, another hallway was in that opening.

Bullock and Reeves started through the door… but almost immediately after they passed through…

"OH NO!" Summer panicked, afraid to follow them.

They turned and realized the doorway was shrinking rapidly behind them.

"Come back!" Tim freaked.

"Come through!" Arthur also freaked.

The door was getting too small now. And it continued to shrink and shrink!

Tim might have been able to still squeeze through, but he hesitated, uncertain which side to go with. And then he missed his chance.

Reeves and Bullock could see the faces of the others in the little opening as it shrunk… It was so disheartening!

Arthur had Tim's hand… That's all that would go through now…

"Timmy!" Ally flipped out. "It'll eat your hand!"

And then they had to break apart and the opening was gone. Vanished.

"SHOOT." Bullock kicked the wall, pissed off.

"It happened too fast." Arthur sounded shocked. "I… I dropped the ball."

"It was only a matter of time." Bullock snarled angrily. "Every single time we start to get the hang of something another curb ball gets thrown at us!"

---

"What do we do now?" Tim turned to Summer and Ally.

"I don't know." Gleeson looked helpless. "I… I guess we continue on. And just try harder to stick together. We enter all doorways together from now on."

"Should be easier with only three." Tim admitted. But he had his doubts.

The end of this hallway opened up into a room with all sorts of wonky staircases.

"Hey…" Tim looked at Ally. He tried not to smile, but he WAS just a kid.

"We've got to stick together!" Summer warned them.

They started on one flight of stairs only to find themselves pass through an opening and come out somewhere else upside-down… Or sideways… or slanted or… WEIRD…

"This is like that movie." Ally sounded nauseous. "I'm gonna hurl…"

"Hey… I'm going BACKWARDS!" Tim's voice echoed.

"We're getting separated." Summer called to them, sideways on another wall.

"I'm gonna try something!" Ally shouted, echoing.

He jumped off the stairs and fell slowly through the air past all the stairs, hoping to land on the regular floor. It was probably the only way out of this weirdness…

But he just landed on another flight of stairs. "OH. That sucks." He said.

He looked straight up at Tim Drake who was looking straight down at him.

"OY…" Tim looked queasy.

"Don't you dare puke on me, Timmy." Ally warned him.

"Guys! I can't get to you! No matter what a try…" Summer sounded hopeless. "I can't get ANYWHERE!"

"Where are you?" Tim called, getting dizzy.

"OVER HERE." She waved to him. "I can see the BACK of you."

"HUH?" Tim turned around. But he could only see the BACK of her. What the heck? This place was really screwy.

"Summer…" Ally called down to her. He was above her somehow suddenly. "How did I get up here?"

"I don't know. I want out of here." Summer said desperately.

"HEY!" Tim was suddenly under them both. "I see the bottom of your shoes! How freaking COOL!"

"Tim…" Summer was not impressed. "This is NOT cool, ok? I want-"

And then she stopped talking. She froze. A look of terror on her face.

"WOAH." Tim swallowed nervously. "Do you guys… sense that…"

Ally had also froze. "OH… MY…"

"RUN!" Tim panicked. He started sprinting.

The dragon. They sensed the dragon monster. There was a presence in the room. A darkness. Something was wrong. They couldn't SEE it, but they knew it was there. And they had to escape somehow.

The three Gothamites starting running for their lives and they were popping up here and there and everywhere. There was no escape!

"We can't get out! We can't get out!" Summer was panting, losing her mind.

---

Reeves and Bullock had started out together. They'd been trying different doors. Now and again they'd bicker. Typical for them.

But then the hallway spit into many different passages. Things became confusing very, very quickly.

Walls starting MOVING. One second there was a wall there, the next there wasn't. But there'd be a wall somewhere new and unpredictable.

Parts of the floor began shifting and changing and… Everything kept moving. It became virtually impossible to stay together!

It wasn't long before they ended up sectioned off from each other completely. Out of sight.

Arthur looked down all the different hallways open to him… He wasn't sure where to go. He wasn't sure where Bullock was.

"Bullock!" He shouted loudly, his voice echoing through the hallways. The word bounced off wall after wall…

"BULLY!" He tried harder, exasperated.

"Don't call me Bully." There came an annoyed Jersey accent from behind a nearby wall. "You're too much of a pansy ass to pull it off, Artie."

"Where are you?" Reeves looked relieved. It was a handsome look for him.

"I dunno. You sound like you're on the other side of this wall." Bullock grumbled, knocking his fist on the wall loudly.

"Keep knocking! I'm coming." Arthur headed towards the sound.

Sure enough, they came to a wall that they could hear one another through. It was clear to each that the other was on the opposite side.

"OK…" Arthur scratched his head. "This wall seems to be… unattached to any other wall… Just kinda hovering, eh?"

"Should be able to walk around it." He heard Bullock coming towards him.

But somehow it didn't work. Bullock went all the way around the wall and never came across Reeves. What?

"HMM…" Arthur started walking as well. How did this work?

They both kept walking around the wall, never finding each other.

"Hey!" Arthur thought he saw a shadow at the other corner. "I think I saw you!"

They both kept speeding up as they went around and around the wall. But they were never able to catch one another! It was like a dog chasing its tail!

"I'm switching directions." Bullock turned around. But that didn't work either.

"OK. Don't move." Arthur sighed. "I'm going to try to come to you again."

But just as before, this failed to work. They could NOT reach one another, no matter what they tried. And they really tried hard.

They both stopped and stood still, directly opposite one another.

Reeves was out of breath. He put his forehead against the wall, tiredly. "This is just stupid." He said sadly.

Bullock sighed, hands in his pockets, and moved his feet as he looked up to the ceiling. OY…

Forehead still against the wall, Arthur said quietly, "I don't actually believe any of us are going to get out of this place, Harv. I never have."

Bullock felt a pang of discomfort. He felt awkward. "That's the right attitude, Artie." He scowled sarcastically. He didn't know what else to say.

Reeves stepped back, "Do you think we're going to die?"

Harvey sighed audibly. "I dunno." He admitted.

"I've never been able to picture an EXIT, ya know? If we're going to be rescued… something has to happen out there. In the real world. The answer won't come from within this dream."

They stood in silence for a while… Bullock cleared his throat. "We're not getting anywhere by just standing here, Artie. We're going to have to face facts and just split up. _Capisce?_"

"There's got to be some way to get to you." Arthur stood back and looked up. "There's GOT to be…"

"Nah, bud. You know how this works. There's nothing for it. We've gotta part ways."

Arthur sighed. He knew this was the truth, but he really didn't like the idea of being all ALONE in this place. It was creepy. And there was a dragon lurking around murderously…

Arthur looked down all the hallways around him and felt more certain than ever that death was imminent. Death was imminent!

"We're not going to talk again." He stated a simple fact. Looking tired.

"Probably not." Bullock admitted with indifference.

"You know…" Arthur frowned. "I don't hate you. You're a good guy."

"ACK." Bullock said dismissively. How awkward! "Pansy ass, Artie! COME ON. Man up here."

"Well, seriously. This is it. Our arrivederci, as you'd say." Arthur frowned.

"_Arrivederci." _Harvey corrected his Anglo pronunciation impatiently.

"YOU'RE ragging on MY accent?" Arthur was peevish. "Have you heard your English, buddy? Holy HELL…"

There was a grumpy silence between them. And then Reeves sighed, "Look. I'm just trying to end of a good note here, OK?"

Bullock rolled his eyes. "I get that. But there's no need to be all _dramatic_ about it… We're not exactly friends, ya know…"

That actually bothered Arthur. That statement. For many years Bullock had been the only person in the police department he could turn to. The only cop in town he trusted. Reeves and Gordon were on bad terms, so he'd always gone to Harvey. They had worked together many, many times over the years. Bullock had had his back against Gordon and Mayor Hill more times than he could count. And yet…

Sure. They weren't FRIENDS. They weren't friendly guys. But… well, Arthur wasn't the type to have friends. In his universe, people like Bullock – allies, he supposed – were the closest thing he HAD to friends.

Arthur cleared his throat. "Ya, well. Thanks for all the times you had my back. We've seen eye to eye on a lot of stuff and I've always appreciated your help. And well… Sorry I threw you under the bus a couple of times by betraying your confidence. I know you weren't happy about it. But that stuff needed to be said."

Bullock was dismissive. "MEH…" He wasn't a goodbye person. Especially with MEN. Jeez.

"You're the only cop I could count on, Harv. Good luck to you."

And with that Arthur turned around and walked away.

Harvey could hear his shoes on the tile…

Awkwardly, he said, "Hey, Artie. Sorry for all the punches, eh? There were a couple you didn't deserve. I'm pissy like that."

Arthur stopped and looked back…

And then they both walked away. Harvey refused to say anything else. He'd admitted he'd been wrong at some point and that was all Reeves was getting. He hated awkward moments of FEELING, especially goodbyes. EESH…

---

Firefly landed offside to catch his breath. This battle was INTENSE.

And then he heard a soft ticking sound… Hmm?

"Do you hear that?" He asked himself. "Yes, yes, I do." He answered.

He wandered over to where the sound was coming from. Hmm…

He lifted some debris and underneath he discovered an enormous detonator.

The digital screen on it read: 9:07… 9:06… 9:05…

"UMMM…" Firefly stood up straight. "People? … People?"

---

Tim, Ally and Summer were all running around the staircases like headless chicken. They were panicked and there was absolutely no way out. Everywhere they ran they just popped up somewhere else randomly, unable to ever actually escape.

It was like the caucus race… or any other danger in Wonderland… Once you made the mistake of springing the trap, good luck ever escaping it!

"Damn you, Eddie Nygma!" Tim snarled, running out of steam.

---

Meanwhile, Edward and Ivy sat in the court room dozing off…

Riddler's hat had slipped down over his eyes. And it continued to slip further and further until it was down his nose… And as it rested for a long while on the very tip of his nose, irritating his nose and tickling him…

ACHOO! He sneezed. The violent reflex fortunately snapped him back.

For a moment he looked around, very confused. An empty courtroom? He'd been in many courtrooms over the past few years, but…

UH! He suddenly remembered where he was and how deadly it was to fall asleep. If he hadn't been jarred back to the present by a sneeze he'd… He didn't even want to THINK about what would have happened. He was a very, VERY lucky little Eddie. Yikes!

He turned and saw that Poison Ivy was snuggled up against him.

Ed smirked and watched her sleep for a minute. She was cute. When she wasn't being a total psycho bitch, of course.

He shook her, "Ivy." Hmm… She was too far gone to be woken normally.

He felt awkward about HURTING her… He didn't feel BAD, per say… Just awkward. He didn't like it or something. He wasn't a brute, after all. Violence wasn't exactly his thing.

But he slapped her across the face nonetheless. The sound cut the air.

Nothing. HMM… He'd seen the idiots burning each other… Too bad he didn't smoke. That sketchy detective probably carried a lighter. His clothes smelt of cigar smoke. Blah.

He had dropped her back in the glade. That had worked. He could crack her across the back of the skull. But he was weary of that idea for some reason. Probably because it was DANGEROUS. Duh.

Hmm… He decided to look around the courtroom. Maybe the king had left that mallet. That annoying, annoying… Ah, there is was. PERFECT.

"Sorry, Red. I'm sure you'll forgive me when you realize you aren't DEAD." He braced himself to strike her leg. He hoped he didn't break anything. But he really needed to give her a good smack.

CRACK! The mallet connected and Ivy screamed in pain. Wide awake now.

"SORRY." Ed cowered, seeing her crazy coming out. (_Never let your crazy out all at once_, he'd always teased his fellow mental patients.)

Ivy snarled dangerously, springing to her feet… but then she realized she couldn't really walk very well. UH OH.

"I had to wake you. You were entranced. You fell asleep and were brainwashed." Ed said quickly, awkwardly.

Ivy scowled, "Where's the charismatic, confident ladies man, _Eddie?_"

Edward paused and was suddenly self-aware. OH. He was coming across as a real loser right now. Like the original Edward that nobody liked. Right. It was time to pull back up the Riddler persona. Show that sexy smile and dazzling wit… right?

Eddie cleared his throat, "Listen, Ivy. We can't just sit around this courtroom. We'll fall under the spell again and next time I may not be able to snap us out of it."

"So what do you suggest?" She hobbled forward bitterly.

"I suggest we keep moving around and hope someone defeats the Joker. If we can hold out long enough I'm sure the Cape Crusader will deliver. He always does, after all." He added the last part rather bitterly.

"Unless he's succumb to this virus." Ivy smirked darkly. "I'd HATE to think the one time Batman fails and dies is precisely the time we NEED him to win."

Ed smirked back. "Come along, my dear. We can only cross the bridges we come to, hm?"

He took hold of her and started to help her walk. He didn't have to. He could just leave her behind. But he didn't want to. He would stick with her. Hopefully they could keep each other awake.

She limped along. "My face stings." She muttered. "Did you slap me?"

Ed whistled innocently. And then he cleared his throat, "Did you think I'd START with the mallet? I mean, REALLY, Ivy. I am a gentleman."

"I wonder what happened to the others?" Ivy struggled through the heavy oak doors with her hurt leg.

"Know not, care not." Ed said quickly and cheerfully. "HMM…" He looked down the long, long hallway of doors. "Let me see…"

"What?" Ivy frowned.

"Well, Ivy, my sweetheart… my pretty red rose…" He faced her.

"WHAT, Eddie?" She skeptically raised an eyebrow at him.

"How are you at slaying dragons. Hm?" He smiled handsomely.

---

Tim stopped to catch his breath. "Where is it?" He wheezed. "Where-"

And then the black dragon tore right through all the staircases simultaneously. It blasted everything in its path and it broke its way into their space. It was far larger than they'd ever envisioned. The whole place crumbled from the massive eruption…

The three Gothamites all began to freefall… The scene was obliterated…

They saw the glowing, flaming eyes of the monster above them. They heard it's hideous, monstrous screech… the way dinosaurs in movies sounded…

They kept falling in slow motion… Watching the debris fly in darkness…

Tim realized they were going to land on their backs and probably-

And then they hit the ground hard. It hurt like hell.

The boy just lay there, dazed senseless and staring up. He slowly realized there was another white ceiling over him as there had been before. Things seemed normal again.

He blinked and slowly remembered himself.

"Everyone ok?" Ally asked groggily.

"I'm ok." Summer whispered.

"Me too." Tim sat up slowly. OW. He was sore. What the hell?

Ally rolled onto his side and said to Tim seriously, "So was there anything on the bottom of my shoes? Ya know, like… anything yucky?"

"ALLY!" They heard Summer's disgruntled voice.

Knox smiled and jumped to his feet. He then courteously helped Summer to her feet. "That was really close." He stated the obvious. "I'm glad we didn't die."

"You've mastered the understatement, Ally-boy." Tim said flatly.

They were in another hallway. But this one only had one doorway. A very large revolving door.

"We don't want to go through there." Summer frowned. "We'll get separated for sure. We'll all shoot out at random probably."

"It's the only way out." Tim shook his head. "We've got to. Even if it means getting separated."

"Let's try for the same compartment, at least." Summer suggested hesitantly.

They all held onto one another and tried to enter a section of the wheel.

"No, no." Tim pulled away. "The sections are too small. There's no choice. Hopefully I'll see you on the other side."

And with that he quickly went through.

Summer grabbed Ally tightly around the middle. "I don't want to get separated." She was frightened.

"I like you too." He smiled fondly.

The joke helped calm Summer. Ally Knox had always had that affect on her. She turned to him sadly, "I hope you get your brain back, Ally. You were so savvy once. I liked you."

Ally gave her a squeeze around the waist. "I'm happy either way."

She shook her head tiredly. He'd always been such an upbeat guy. She loved that about him.

"Ok…" She said. "Let's try to enter the same section. If we squeeze together as tight as we possibly can… we should be able to stay together, Ally…"

"You used to call me Alex." Ally said in that random way of his.

She blinked, "What?"

"It was this unspoken thing between us. I kept trying to get you to call me Ally, but you evasively kept calling me Alex all the time. It was more formal and professional, I guess. You've always been uptight like that."

Summer looked very surprised. "You remember that?"

He shrugged. "Ya, I guess."

She shook her head, "Well, you're definitely an ALLY. I see that now."

There was an awkward silence. And Summer cleared her throat, "Tim might be waiting over there… Let's try this…"

They coiled around each other as tightly as they possibly could. The scandalous position actually made Gleeson blush. Fortunately, Ally was oblivious in his cheerful, Wonderland way. So it was ok.

"We shouldn't need excuses to hug." He said absently.

Summer was red in the face. "Ok. Ready?"

And they squeezed tightly into the section. She buried her head in his chest and they started to turn… and turn… and turn…

"Woah. We need to get out." Ally felt sick. But they were SO squished.

She was hiding her eyes in his shirt. "What are the odds of getting out where Tim got out?"

After a moment, they forced their way out of the spinning door…

Ally hit his knees and threw up.

"That's… very… attractive… Ally." Summer was disgusted.

"Sorry." Knox looked miserable. "Between the crazy stairs and this spinning… BLAH… I've always had a weak tummy for the dizzies. I was always car sick as a little guy."

Summer looked around gravely. No sign of Tim Drake.

"We've lost Tim." She was monotone.

Ally wobbled to his feet. "I love fun. I really do. But let's not do that again."

She shook her head. "You were so hyper and childish bouncing around here… I figured you'd love this stuff and be all addicted to it."

Knox shook his head. "I dunno. I'm losing my nerve, I guess."

"You're starting to remember things. Like childhood car sickness. And working with me… and… There may be hope for you yet."

Knox rubbed his face, groggily. "There's this terrible nervousness that keeps looming over me. I try to ignore it, but it keeps coming back. I think it's the dragon. I know when it's nearby."

"Why? Do you feel it right now?" And then she froze, "OH NO."

"What?" He looked at her seriously.

And then he felt it too. He froze and tried very hard to LISTEN.

"Do you hear that?" Ally frowned.

Summer didn't hear anything. She just looked anxious. She FELT it.

And then Ally motioned to a puddle on the tile nearby. "Look…"

The water was pulsing. Every few seconds there was rippling on the surface. It would freeze and then ripple… freeze and then ripple… As though…

"Something's coming." Summer realized.

"We know EXACTLY what's coming." Ally stepped back gravely.

The vibration got worse… more noticeable…

"Which direction?" Knox wasn't sure where it was coming from. Where should they run? It was impossible to tell what was happening!

"Do you think it's killed anyone yet?" Summer's voice broke. Her eyes were wet. They didn't know where anyone else was. Maybe it got Tim!

And then they heard the first THUMP. And things really vibrated. The lights hanging from the ceiling shook!

THUMP.

"Where's it coming from?" Knox asked intensely.

THUMP.

"Ally…" Summer backed up nervously.

THUMP.

"ALLY!" She grabbed him.

---

Killer Moth landed beside Firefly. "What's wrong?"

"Well…" Firefly pointed to the bomb. 9:03…9:02…9:01…

"BOMB, PEOPLE!" Killer Moth roared at the top of his lungs.

Everyone froze and stared at him. It was almost comical to freeze that chaotic battle. Super villains, killer mutants, killer plants, killer rats…

"NINE MINUTES!" Killer Moth announced loudly.

Everyone stopped fighting and started fleeing like MAD!

"Why does nobody listen to ME?" Firefly sounded sulky.

And then he clicked the button on his wings again for some music.

Appropriately, the theme for _Final Countdown_ began to play melodramatically.

---

Batman and Batgirl were attempting to crawl through the ventilation shaft to end up BEHIND their attackers in order to take them by surprise and neutralize them. It was the best plan they could come up with…

They waited for the right moment and then silently dropped behind their enemies and brainwashed allies…

Harley Quinn turned around a fraction of a second too late. A cord flung at her and she was instantly hitting the ground, tied up. AH!

Clock King dodged the cord coming for him. He jumped behind a pillar and tried to quickly reload his revolver.

Mayor Hill dropped to the ground, also tied up. His crowbar clanged loudly as it hit the tile. He looked dazed and confused.

Gordon and Montoya started firing.

Batman hurled a batarang and knocked Montoya's gun out of her hands. The uniformed officer charged at Batgirl and engaged her in hand-to-hand combat.

A second batarang had come at Gordon, but he'd managed to dodge it and take cover. He and Clock King continued to fight on, firing on the bats.

Batgirl needed to take cover or she'd get shot… but Montoya wasn't about to let her… This was CRAZY dangerous all over again! AH!

But then the front door burst open.

And most unexpectedly… A little boy with a black pot on his head, swinging a fire poker walked into the room arrogantly. Followed by a nervous looking young man in a bucket hat…

"Fall on your knees, mortals! Klarion the Witch Boy has come to defeat you! Surrender now or be destroyed!"

---

_Note: Thanks for reading! Not sure how many chapters it will take to finish this story. If you want more, please review and let me know you're reading. :p_


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